To Smite in Winter
by Ikasury
Summary: While on the way to getting started, Tess, the poor Grey Wardan-mage-elf, is stuck once again listening to her companions bicker and when Morrigan threatens to leave, she has only one option to settle this... hilarity ensues... Now Officially a Drabble-Pile!
1. To Smite

**A/N:** this beauty is the bastard child of me spending too much time looking around for Ali/Mor smuts that satisfy my criteria, listed as 'Idea' under my random notes in my profile, a lovely story called 'Witch of the Wilds' by Iskah81 with the best innuendo i've heard in ages, just because of how silly it is, and spending too long talking with my brother who **JUST **got DA:O and is figuring out how much fun screwing with the characters can be...

not to mention our discussion of the crazy shinanigans that i've had happen with my character that somehow break every rule in the game, so pitching this idea, i was rather ubruptly 'informed' i was to write it, no exceptions, and at some point i'm to do a full on play-by-play of my time play the game, because appearently my character, a Female-Elf-Mage, by the name of Tess who sports dark skin, white hair, crystal blue eyes, and brickish red thorn-style markings, is not only one of the most unique ones i've ever made, but the sheer _SHINANIGANS_ that i've had happen to her is just epic enough that it had to be put out... plus, i honestly wish there was a scene like this in Loithering... its hilarious...

Ps: my Dog's name was Balthazar and poor poor Tess, i only ever wanted her to end up with Cullen .-. too bad no one else didn't know that...

**Dis:** bethesda, or whoever the hell made DA:O owns this, if you don't know it, its probably mine, sorta, but probably not...

ENJOY!

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><p>To Smite in Winter…<p>

Lothering…

A tiny little town to the south of what some called 'The Grand Crossroads', somewhere above the Kokari Wilds and Ostagar. A tiny place which at the moment was being plagued by refugees running from the oncoming blight to the south, the far south, and where there were refugees there were profiteers, bandits, and anyone else that could gain from someone else's misfortune.

Tess just stared at the tiny village and the mounting refugee camps and tents, crystalline blue eyes just taking in the despondent atmosphere blankly. Here she was, 20, dark skinned elf-woman, excommunicated from the circle of mages for the happenings of a man she had called 'friend' and indicted into the Grey Wardens. Whom had, all but one other, died at Ostagar with their king, a man she'd only vaguely heard about whilst within the tower walls, since politics never really mattered much to enclosed mages after all. She wouldn't mind this journey, after all, it was meant to bring peace and end the blight, right? They'd already figured out what to do, take the treaties from Flemeth, ralley the races, and somehow persuade the humans to help as well… easy right?

Balthazar barked next to her, she tilted her brick-red thorn-like marked face towards the large Mabari, dark skinned hand absentmindedly scratching the war-dog behind his head and watched him openly pant and wag his stub of a tail. A white brow rose on her face as he barked again, somehow just _knowing_ what was running through her mind.

She sighed openly, closing her eyes and hand still petting him, "You're right, just have to deal with it…" She could hear her companions already, for some reason the two of them had dawdled on the raised steps after they'd had their little pow-wow about what they were going to do. By some act of the Maker she was deemed the 'leader', okay, great, that was just fine with her, Alistair didn't seem to want to do it despite him being 'senior' and Morrigan didn't have the decency to care about others to actually 'lead', so between her and _her_ dog there was really no choice. Of course, if either of the two _had_ actually taken the title, she was sure the other would have left immediately, since all they seemed to have done since leaving the Witch of the Wilds hut was bicker back and forth like small children. Another sigh begrudgingly released itself from her toned lips, by the Maker what had she done to deserve this?

Crystalline eyes under white brows turned back over her shoulder to look upon her traveling companions, yes there they were, arguing still about Maker-knew-what, she'd considered putting them both under a Mass Stun just to see what it'd do, but thought better against wasting the mana on squabbling children. They were finally making their way down the stairs, for Andraste's sake, Morrigan having her arms crossed haughtily under her rather revealed chest, while Alistair stumbled behind her, one hand raised like he was trying to make some point, looking both clumsy and flustered all the same.

Tess just scratched behind Bal's ear, seeing as he decided to sit down next to her, watching the approaching 'pack-mates', the white-haired elf-woman idly wondered if that's how he really saw them. When they'd run across him being chased down by those darkspawn he seemed to have imprinted on her, recognizing her as the one that gave him the medicine and overall saved his life, so he automatically was amicable with her, almost like they were siblings, twins even, like they had spent every moment of their lives together. It was how he reacted to the others that made her wonder, bowling up to Morrigan with a skip in his padded steps, presenting her with the head of a gunlock he'd beheaded, and seemingly offering it to her like a prize. The witch obviously didn't like it, but from the conversation Tess could only wonder if their Witch of the Wilds could actually understand what the poor dog 'said' to her, as she bit him a rather harsh '_No I will not take that thing, or your offering you disgusting little beast…_' and when Alistair, thinking the dog had done it to irritate the apostate, reached over to pet him, to 'congratulate' Bal for overall pissing off the witch, the Mabari had growled once before snapping at him, backing all the way until he was growling behind Tess' robes. Curious reaction, although it had resulted in Morrigan sticking uncomfortably close to Alistair, if only to both annoy him and stay out of reach of the dog.

Thus the continuous string of bickering and banter the poor elf-mage had been dealing with on their trail to Lothering. Those poor, poor Bandits had no idea who they were dealing with they approached her four-something self with their 'toll', had they taken the time to consider her mood, or the dog at her heel, they may have left with their cloths along with their lives. Just because she was irritated didn't mean she had to go around killing people… this also didn't mean she didn't have the absolute right to humiliate them and take their stuff as well just to appease her mood slightly. She was currently buckling under a few packs of leathers and wondering if she could convert a few into saddle bags and attach them to Balthazar… just for the added space of course…

So after that tragic, and humiliating fiasco, garnering a 'good job' from Alistair when he realized she was going to let them live, only for him to gaff as she turned Morrigan's frown into a sizable grin when she forced the bandits to drop their money, weapons, and trousers… who know a tiny elf-mage could be so intimidating when having a 'bad' day. They'd discussed their 'plans' on the steps only a few feet away, realizing that they didn't really _have_ a plan beyond 'take treaties to the mages, dwarves, and elves, and then take over the country somehow and destroy the blight'. Morrigan had rightfully called them both idiots, and questioned openly why her mother had sent her with them. Alistair had offered up his apparent 'uncle' the Arl of Redcliffe, as someone they could go speak with for the whole 'human' side of things, but she had protested going there now, it didn't seem right. When inquired further where they _would_ go, by Morrigan no less, the white haired elf had said blankly '_To the Dalish…_' her reasoning being that since it was the spring, the Dalish would be in their camp in the Brecilian Forest this time of year, and it was the closest into Feralden as they were going to get, why waste the time looking for them later? The two had simply looked at her, taken in her short stature, pointed ears, and facial tattoos and said something she felt was entirely racist. Had she been inclined to the tiny elf-woman may have taken her Mages Staff and walloped the both of them, instead turning them with a stern gaze and stating rather bluntly '_I'm a mage, being an elf means nothing to me…_' that seemed to suffice for the witch, but Alistair still stared at her with that clumsily suspicious look, not threatening just irritating.

It was after that idea was made final that she'd take the steps down, with hopes of heading into the small village to gather what information was to be had, they'd been out for awhile at Flemeth's hut, no sense assuming the world didn't turn without their knowledge. Idly her ear had twitched when the templar made some comment about thinking Tess would want to go back to the Tower first. Thankfully she didn't need to comment, as Morrigan just threw him a glance and called his intelligence into question, again, and unfortunately _**that**_ had been the start of their current banter, the one where she was _still_ standing at the base of the stairs waiting patiently with Bal for the two of them to get to the sodding lead out.

It was with her hands up in the air as if completely exasperated that Morrigan finally made it to the bottom step, pointing a look at nothing in particular, "T'is a wonder we made it here at all," obvious glance over her shoulder to the fumbling warden, "Given the incompetence…"

"Incompetence?" Alistair quirked a rosy blonde brow at her, "Right, because hacking sniveling Darkspawn to bits while you're trying some little spell didn't help you at all…" a smirk passed the templar's face.

Gold eyes could only narrow on him, "As if I required your assistance…"

"Really," he said in that guffish way of his, "then please, Witch, pre tell why I bothered? Oh right!" he pointed at her almost childishly, "Your mother, for some Maker-spited reason, sent you with us, _MAKING_," there was really no reason for him to poke her in the shoulder other than to irritate her more, "you _OUR_ responsibility…"

She swatted his hand away from her, "T'is hardly _YOUR_ responsibility…"

"I'll remember that," a smug and dark grin passed over Alistair's face, "The next time darkspawn wish to drag you off and have their way with you…"

"I'll have you know, _Templar_," now it was her turn to poke slim fingers into his shoulder, "I've been dealing with their likes long before you left your mother's teet…"

Neither of them noticed the pained look that crossed his features a moment, "Really, still attached were you when Flemeth was calling the horde?"

"No…" Morrigan seemed to growl before turning her features into a sneer at him, "Only when she was dispatching the likes of you!"

Tess merely crossed her arms and put her head in her hand, trying with no success to block out the incessant bickering, "Maker… besides being a Mage, an Elf, leaving the tower, joining the Grey Wardens, and for whatever reason having no problem with the likes of Morrigan and her mother…" she looked up into the cloudy skies with solemn eyes, "What did I do to deserve this?"

Balthazar simply barked.

"Oh not you too, you hairy beast," the witch crossed her arms glaring at the poor dog.

"Good dog!" Alistair grinned stupidly, "Whatever you said to the nasty Witch."

"Trust, dolt," her golden eyes glanced at him sidelong, "what that beast said was none too kind to you…"

"Bad dog," he waved at finger at the Mabari's muzzle, realizing only a moment later how foolish it was as the large Mastiff-like maw snapped at his appendage.

"I'm curious," Tess turned form her prayers to her traveling companions, questioning not only their sanity but her own for dealing with them, "What is the point of all this arguing?" she raised a white brow at their collective silence, "Since we are here, Morrigan has shown us the way AND we've made a plan… so…" the questioning in her tone was obvious, but what the question was, was not.

"Right!" their warrior dropped his fist into his other hand, "Why are you still here?"

The witch's gold eyes just blinked at him, "Repeat that, dolt, I believe you were saying something stupid."

"Um…" Tess tried miserably to interject, raising her hand but failing miserably as it seemed she'd only managed to somehow spark yet another 'bickering-session'.

"Fine, Witch, I'll spell it out for you," he cleared his throat dramatically, "Since we're here, we don't need you here, your services are no longer required," he waved his hand in a shooing motion, "Have a good day and don't let the Mabari bite you on your way back to your woods, witch."

Balthazar got off his hunches and growled openly before barking at the two.

"You insufferable beast," the dark haired woman snapped at Alistair before turning towards the dog," You too," she glares at the both of them, "Fine!" the smoldering detest in her eyes only lessened the slightest as she turned to her fellow mage, "It seems my welcome is worn out," she waves her hand at the two males in a flourish while turning, "Good day, I hope you choke on it…"

"Wa-" The poor elf-mage is left stumped; two seconds ago she had silence, now one of her companions was walking away… the only other mage, let alone only other _woman!_ Her blue eyes scanned the two still standing next to her; there was no way she was going to…

"Hmp," Alistair crossed his arms haughtily, "Better off, not like we need someone of her kind around…"

"_**My**_ kind!" who knew Morrigan could hear so well, let alone stomp up to the man about half a foot taller than her so quickly, pointing an accusing hand at him, "You. Have. No. idea what _**I**_ am!"

Alistair merely put his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes, "Like I'd want to," he just stares down at her, inciting her eyes to narrow at him, "Hm, evil, Maker-damned thi-"

"OH THAT IS _**ENOUGH!**_" both apostate and templar turn to see their little friend fuming, "Honestly! I can't believe this-"

"I know," he turned back to glaring at Morrigan, "that the Witch is still here…"

Tess seemed to deflate and twitch a moment, "What? No-"

"T'is fine," she was glaring back at Alistair, eyes narrowed like a predator's, "I'll leave," her poignant glare lingered on him before she turned heel and started walk, "May the both of you choke on your piety."

Balthazar hops in front of her, looking worried and whining before barking at her.

The Witch of the Wilds just glares her golden cat-like eyes at the dog, "No, you may not!" and she brushes past the whining dog.

"Alistair!" the tiny elf-woman comes up behind him, glaring with her crystalline blue eyes, "We _**need**_ her!"

"But-" the obviously larger man stumbled back a step, for some reason the little elf-woman could be really, really intimidating.

"No," she waved her hand quickly to end his protest before going after Morrigan, Bal falling in quickly at her heels, "Morrigan, wait!" the deviant mage just keeps walking, "Please, we need you, no matter what he says!" she calls out hoping, but still the dark woman keeps walking. Desperate, Tess fidgets for something to say that'll _at least_ make the woman stop walking, there's _**no way**_ she was going to be making this journey with just the likes of Alistair and her dog… her head pops up in an idea, she glances back at her Templar companion, a wicked grin passing her lips a moment that makes him want to squirm. Before the man can so much as question that deviant look on his fellow warden's face, she turns back and shouts at the top of her lungs towards the witch, "_I'LL SELL YOU ALISTAIR!_"

"_What!_" the man can only twitch, his poor mind being unable to comprehend what just happened.

Even stranger, Morrigan pauses in her trip in the general direction of _away_, and turns back to her fellow mage, a raised brow laced with intrigue.

Tess can only grin on the inside, "That's right, you can have him, do what you want with him…" the open grin spreading on her tattooed face is only slightly creepy.

Alistair gaffs, "Tess! What-th-are-huh?"

The white-haired elf just stares at him over her shoulder, only a _slight_ glare in her eyes, "You're the one that started this, so it's going to be you that finishes it!"

The poor man only gulps.

During the short exchange of blame between the Wardens, Morrigan was making her steps back to them, an obvious 'bounce' to them, as she held a winning sneer on her face, "T'is an… _interesting_, proposal…" she makes no notice of the how the color drains from Alistair's face at the word 'proposal', nor the snicker Tess fails miserably to hide behind her hand. Black eyebrow quirked she takes several steps closer to their templar, uncomfortably invading his personal space as the color rushes back to his face a moment, "So what exactly do I want to do with you… hmm…" there was a sparkle in her cat-like eyes that just spoke of all sorts of mischief.

Alistair gulped looking down at the scantily clad wild woman, "uh… I can cook?"

Off to the side both Tess and Bal looked like they were gagging.

Morrigan closed her eyes in thought, leaning back and shaking her head, "T'is untrue…" she quirked her eyes open again, openly appraising him as she looked him up and down, noting the color that continued to come to his face. She perched her chin in one hand and gave him a saucy grin, "though, I do suppose there is _**one**_ thing you could be good for…"

The gagging turned into snickering and yelping barks.

"Wha-?" it took him a moment of confusion before Alistair put the pieces together, her grin only gaining in size as he realized she was watching him very closely, and knew he knew, "Oh, wait, no," she smirked even more and he could feel the heat rushing to his face, "Maker, no! No way!" he waved his hands in front of him taking a step back.

The witch quirked a black brow before turning towards their leader, "I have rights to him, do I not?"

Tess had a blank look on her face, before the edge of her lip tilted up the slightest as she looked straight at Alistair, "Of course you do, if it means you are indeed going to continue traveling with us…"

Morrigan gave an appraising smirk, just eyeing him as she seemed to 'weigh' the 'deal' in her mind, probably doing it more so just to watch him squirm some more.

And squirm he did, "Tess," he looked at her seemingly blank eyes, "You have got to be joking?" she continued to stare, he began to sweat, "Alright, I get it, I was in the wrong, I shouldn't have said anything to the wit- er, Morrigan like that," he braved a glance at the woman who was apparently 'buying' him, he raised his hands in a meager defense from the women, "So really, I'm sorry, you don't have to sell me or anything…"

"I certainly think she does," the dark witch crossed her arms, gaining a more intimidating pose, that smirk still on her face as she watched him squirm.

He gave one last look at his fellow warden, imploring her, "Please?"

The petite woman merely looked at him blankly, "I told you, you were going to be the one to finish this…"

The warrior twitched as he glanced back at Morrigan, who'd for some Maker-awful reason had a predatory look in her eyes, "Look, it's not even like you have the right to sell me anyway-"

"Don't I?" she quirked a white brow, looking at her fellow woman and mage.

"Of course she does," Morrigan grinned evilly at the squirming templar, "You made her the leader, did you not? Therefore she has the right to do with you as she wills…"

Alistair's grayish-brown eyes locked onto the tiny elf-woman, an 'et tu Brute?' look obvious on his face as she just smirked at his discomfort.

As much as Tess was enjoying making her fellow Warden squirm, especially after having to deal with all the incessant bickering he made up half of, she did feel some pity, somewhere in the bottom of her stomach she suspected, or that may have just been hunger. She sighed openly before turning to Morrigan, "I don't suppose we can save him the embarrassment and have you just remain with us?" she eyed the woman honestly, her manner courteous and seeking no more ill will amongst them, but she knew she did need Morrigan, if a Maker-knows-how-old being like Flemeth sent the young woman with them, there was a damn good reason. And if worse came to worse she would write up some 'official' documents and have this whole thing over with, "Please?"

Morrigan lightly glared at the smaller woman, though it didn't hold any of the spiteful bite she'd come to expect, if anything the mysterious wilds woman seemed amused by this whole ordeal. She sighed openly before placing her hands on her hips, "T'is agreed then, if you will have me I shall continue onward with you," she looked up at Alistair, her eyes still appraising if not holding something else, "Though know this, dolt, should you push this strenuous _truce_ again in such a manner," she smirked wickedly, "I'm sure Tess would be more than willing to give your rights to me," the woman grinned openly, and evilly, as she walked past him with an odd 'skip' to her step.

Alistair just shuddered as she passed, "Remind me again not to do… whatever just happened, again," he looked to his 'friend', "I'd rather be turned into a toad."

"T'is an easy arrangement!" the Witch of the Wilds threw back over her shoulder at the man.

He shuddered again, looking at his travel companion.

Tess merely giggled behind her hand, the entire event far too amusing, "Surely you kid?"

The man shuttered again, "No… just no…"

The young mage quirked a white brow at him, "Truly?" at his blank look in her direction she continued, "Why not?" the man stared at her, and if she didn't know any better Morrigan had stopped in her tracks as well, seemingly making her way back, "What?" the little elf huffed as the two stared at her, "I was under the impression it was every Templar's dream to…" she cleared her throat, " 'smite an apostate in winter'?"

Morrigan turned around and tried miserably to hide her snickering.

Alistair just blushed before sputtering, "W-where d-did you hear such a thing?"

Tess raised an honestly curious brow, "I read about it…"

"Where?" Alistair was still flustered from the innuendo, "You're from the circle aren't you?"

The little dark skinned elf just put her hands on her hips and glared 'up' at the templar.

"T'is a curious thought indeed," Morrigan decided to rejoin their conversation, her own curiosity evidently pointed at their 'leader', "From what I was told by my mother, the circle didn't '_Encourage_' such basic functions in their chantry bred mages…" she side glanced over to Alistair, "T'is another reason she refused such raising," she said with a wicked smirk.

Tess just huffs again, "We _**ARE**_ taught about…" she blushes, which isn't as evident due to her tattoos and darker skin, "the basics…" more blushing as she looks away, "Just so we 'know'…" she shrugged, trying to ignore the looks on the other two, "Though it is highly '_discouraged_'."

"Reeaally?" The smirk and sneer in Morrigan's eye didn't help the color on their leader's face.

Alistair rubbed his chin, "That still doesn't explain why you would think…" unconsciously his eyes turned down towards the apostate next to him, inciting a flush in his face when she looked up at him with those golden eyes under long lashes. Oh he knew she'd caught him when that _evil_ grin crossed her face and the mischievous glint returned to her eyes.

Tess turned from the two, just to ease her own nerves, "like I said, I read about it," she glanced back at them; "At the tower we practically _live_ in a library… you honestly think they don't have any _saucy fantasies_ somewhere in there?"

The two gave each other a look. "Nope." "Not really."

Crystalline eyes rolled, "Honestly, I thought they taught you Templers more then they taught us, considering I've seen just about every Templar recruit reading…" she blushed again before shutting her mouth.

"Reading what?" it wasn't surprising at all that Morrigan sounded authentically intrigued, and wasn't bothered in the least. Alistair, while blushing like Tess, also seemed intrigued.

Again, the Elvin woman rolled her eyes, "fine," and she took off her pack and rummaged around in it for a few moments. Alistair and Morrigan spared each other another glance before Tess seemed to pull something out of her pack, "Here," she handed it to Alistair, since he'd asked, while Morrigan leaned over reading the title.

" '_To smite in winter_'," she raised a brow, "Suppose that explains the earlier prose," she still had a glint of mischief in her eyes as she glanced at the fidgeting elf.

"Yes," she coughed, "I thought they taught you guys a class or something, since as I said, just about every Templar I saw at the tower I'd caught reading that book."

The black haired woman raised a brow, leaning away as Alistair started reading some of the contents, "Spent a lot of time in the library, is it?" she had that grin again, looking for some kind of mischief.

Tess fidgeted again, fixing the taller woman with a light glare, "I'm a mage, and more then that I'm an elf," her crystalline eyes narrowed only the slightest, "Even in the tower, where there were only about five of us, we were treated different," she didn't have to add the part that she was especially treated differently, being unusually skilled, not to mention having Dalish tattoos while the others were all obviously alienage elves… she was truly a unique spectacle at the tower, not to mention often left _alone_. She huffed again, looking to the side, "I spent most of my time reading _**every**_ book, scroll, ledger, and parchment available in the library."

"T'is quite apparent," Morrigan smirked, "Including the inventory they probably never meant to be found," she leaned back trying to get a good look at the pages that had apparently enraptured their male companion. His face was so red she was momentarily worried his head would explode from the pressure, "T'is interesting I take it?"

Alistair seemed to jump, not realizing the Witch was so close to him, shutting the book with his thumb keeping his place. He gulped openly as the women stared at him, and started to try and remember what it was like to breathe.

Tess raised her brow, "See, I thought so," she shook her head scholarly, "it seems even hardened warriors bound to the chantry can't escape the idea of a chance encounter on a witch-hunt, ending in a _saucy_ encounter of one means or another…"

"Please stop saying _saucy_…" Alistair put his head in his hand, apparently ashamed, as he held the book out to give back to Tess.

"Honestly," Morrigan grabbed the book roughly from his offering hand, "It can't be any worse then what my mother told me she did with the Chasind men she could hunt down…" she cracked open the books spine, finding a random page and started reading.

The other two, Tower-mage and Chantry-templar just stared at the Witch of the Wilds, both blushing profusely as she kept reading.

Then she started reading out loud:

"… _it was deep in the wilds that Gorik, a holy messenger of the Maker and devout to the teaching of the chant, had tracked an apostate to this very spot. Rumors ran rampant in the neighboring towns of a fiendish mage wielding unseemly amounts of power, who attacked and pillaged their lands…_"

"Oh how boring enough with this background fodder," Morrigan then flipped about two pages, not even paying attention as the other two seemed to migrate behind her so they could read over her shoulder. Finding the part she was looking for she kept reading:

"… _As the battle reached its peak, Gorik cast his smite, finally finding the mage who had been attacking him relentlessly. It had been a spectacular fight, and a part of the pious man would weep over dispatching such a cunning opponent. As he stepped closer to where his attack had struck, he was surprised to only find robes and a forgotten staff._

"_What is this?" he leaned down, sensing the magic in the clothing, and tracing it to further into the woods. It wasn't long before he had found a blood trail, and using his training, he followed it, looking for any sight of the mage he had been sent to dispatch. _

_It wasn't long until he had found it; there in the middle of a clearing was a large dire wolf, its pelt grey and shimmering in the light. But as he stepped closer he realized the creature was anything that it seemed, in fact it transformed in front of his eyes, from a terrifying beast, to a woman, pale as the driven snow, with long golden hair and a perfect form he couldn't pull his eyes away from. _

_It was with a sudden realization that gazing at this beautiful, nude woman, that he wanted nothing more than to sheath his sword into her…"_

It was so sudden that the two listeners jumped away with red faces that it took them a moment to realize why Morrigan had stopped reading.

She was laughing.

Not a snide snicker like they were used to, no, she was full on belly aching laughing as she held the book in her hand.

The two blushing stared at each other a moment, then back to their apparently hysteric companion.

"Oh dear sweet…" she laughed again, "T'is this really what gets you people so flustered?" she turned on them, waving the book around and catching their blushing faces, "Honestly, T'is nothing compared to my mother's stories…" if anything the two flushed even more. The Witch of the Wilds turned open the book again, flipping through the stories, one title catching her attention, "In fact…" she drawled as she skimmed a few pages, "Here's one," she snickered openly, marking the page before handing it to their leader.

The little elf-woman blushed openly as she trepidatiously held the book open in front of her, eyes scanning the page, knowing full well that Alistair was leaning over her shoulder reading it as well. Against her better judgment, she started twitching all over as the color in her face became obvious.

"Well," Alistair raised his brow, "That is one way to use a transformation spell," while his face was as red as their leader's he couldn't help the curiosity that rose to his mind as he looked upon their own Witch of the Wilds, "I don't suppose you've ever tried this?"

Morrigan just stared at him bluntly for a minute, "Tried what, dolt?"

Alistair rose his own brow, nonchalantly, as he glance at the book as Tess flipped the page, the color never leaving her face, "Huh, so I guess that means you really aren't human?"

A black brow twitched as Morrigan glared at the Templar, "What do you mean, speak fool?"

The man openly grinned, taking a step away from their obviously brain-dead leader, as he knew this was just about to get ugly… oh, but it was so worth it, "Well, with your mother being a shapeshifter and all, I suppose that would explain your eyes," he grinned so wide with his teeth, as he just had to see the look on that woman's face, "Eh, Pussy-cat?"

That did it, Morrigan finally snapped, pulling her staff off her back she threw a magic bolt at the Templar, whom merely dissipated it. The man didn't draw his sword and shield off his back, instead kept grinning that damnable fool's grin at the woman, before continuing making several comments about her paternity. This did nothing to stop the woman from hurling all manner of magic his way just to blow off steam.

Now, if their leader had been paying any kind of attention, she would have noticed the ensuing chaos and wondered why their wilds mage hadn't just turned into a giant spider, wrapped him in silk, and used him as a templar-bouncy-ball. But, seeing as she wasn't, and was simply reading a potentially trans-species piece involving a shapeshifting mage and a Templar she'd turned into a Mabari…

Bal, making himself known again, and knowing that it was bad to have his pack-mates fighting in such a fashion, especially with their constant threats of darkspawn nearby, nipped his partner on the sleeve and shook the book out of her hand.

"Hey! I was read-" Tess snapped at her companion, flustered as he seemed to be glaring at her to do something. She looked at the two 'dueling', or Maker-help-her she hoped they were 'dueling' because she certainly didn't have the talents to heal them if they really hurt each other. She scrunched her face up into a pout before glancing back to her dog, "Bal, I think I may… need…" she quirked a white brow at the dog, he seemed to be staring intently at the book that was left open on the ground, "Bal?"

He nosed to the next page.

The white-haired elf-woman stared at her war-dog for a good few minutes, he'd managed about seven pages, before he seemed to perk up in a way she'd never seen before, panting loudly with his snub of a tail wagging furiously, "Bal…?" she eyed him queerly, before noticing he too was staring at something. By the time she'd thought to look at what he was looking at, he had bolted across the field towards her fellow mage.

"Beastly creature! What do you think you're doing!" there was a pause as the dog let loose a howl and doubled his pace towards her. Never in the time that she'd known her had Tess seen such a frightened look on the wilds mage's face, "No! No! _**NO!**_ STAY BACK YOU BEAST!" and suddenly she was running faster than ever towards Alistair, who was frozen trying to comprehend what just happened.

"Witch, what in the Maker's name has gotten in to him?"

"Don't ask; just get the beast away from me!"

"But, what-?"

"Aaaahhhh!"

Another howl split the air as Tess just watched her companions chasing each other.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she reached down to pick up the book, flipping back a few pages back, and skimmed through whatever it was that had riled her dog up so much. The result just made her blush even deeper then she thought she could, as she raised her head from the book to see Balthazar nipping and barking at Alistair, whom for some ungodly reason had picked up Morrigan and had her tossed over his shoulder while using his shield to block the obviously 'rutting' dog. The Witch of the Wilds looked non-too-pleased about her position but was using it as an advantage to wallop the dog with her staff.

Tess, their leader, Gray Warden, ex-circle mage, and apparent peddler of '_Saucy Fantasies_', could only smirk as one thing came to mind to say to this situation, "Who knew Mabari could read?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** what is it with me and perverted humor... its not even 'bad' its just rediculously hilarious for no damn reason... XD

and about the last bit, anyone else find it hilarious that if you had the Dog and Morrigan, but not Alistair, she would talk to the dog? and not only that, he seemed to constantly want to give her something like he had a crush on her? then we throw in shapeshifting... :D

i feel evil...

Comments, Questions, Go read 'Witch of the Wilds', and for the love of the Old Gods somebody write me some Ali/Mor love that doesn't end up with him screwing Leliana while she takes care of their God-baby... seriously, that's just pissing me off... -cough- i mean, tea?

Till next -Salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury

Ps: i'm considering making this a going thing, just to have the hilarity of the _'Saucy Fantises'_ continue XD


	2. Sort of

**A/N: **because i wanted to do this before i started packing and had to leave...

now, i don't know if i'll be doing anything 'time-liney' but this is relatively the same play through, only this is 'kinda' what happened when i was playing. not paying attention, i had appearently gotten Tess well liked enough by the three potential romances and well... i never initiated them, cause as i said before, i wasn't interested in getting her 'involved' with any one of them... then when i was checking out Soldier's Peak i accidently clicked on Alistair and initiated a conversation with him that i could leave from... next thing i knew, clicking away, the screen blipped out, and suddenly he was kissing Tess, the look on her face was priceless, and i was completely 'WTF?' and then he was all fumbling around and i was like 'welp that's my cue to go!' and went off, curious i went back to camp and talked to Leliana, some new conversation ensued ringing alarm bells, and next thing i know my character has a scene of being Saranaded by the bard, again 'WTF?' and again that same look on my character... okay, on to Zevran, he just wants sex right? so after sex, because i can and two elves are kinky, he starts going on this conversation about following her for the rest of his life... 'WTF?', and afterwards i just had my char wondering around the camp, and just stood in front of Sten, because in my opinion you should be able to have a relationship with Sten, he just gave the normal 'what?' look and boring conversation... i was highly unimpressed... before retreating to my favorite companion aside from the dog, Morrigan, and she went on some shpell about killing her mom...

**_THAT_** is where this comes from... since i pitched this idea and my bro went nuts laughing... so, since i don't really remember the _real_ conversations, and wikia is no help, i improvised!

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>What 'sort of' happened?<p>

-_Here we are again…_-

Soldier's peak, a rudding place in the mountains somewhere to the far, far west of Denerim; okay, maybe not _that_ far, but it certainly wasn't far enough in Tess' tastes. The elf-mage-warden looked up at the looming presence of the tower, the high walls, the _still_ remaining look of 'doom' that hovered over the place, even if she heard the sound of children frolicking about. Morrigan had hated the place at first sight, either from the cold or Avernus skulking its upper tower, but Tess was positive the wilds mage would loathe the place even more now considering its rampant take over by what's-his-name (Levi Dryden was it?) and his brooding family. She shrugged heavy shoulders, under the now familiar Juggernaut plate she'd refused to remove from her presence since the Brecilian Forest and garnering the last vestiges of knowledge from the phylactery that had made wearing it possible. Arcane mage indeed, she snorted shrugging under the magically shifted weight of Yusaris strapped to her back, knowing exactly how her counterpart mage might have felt if she had brought her…

A bark from Balthazar broke through her mulling thoughts as the dog raced paced her, eagerly wagging his little stub of a tail as he chased small children about, while Alistair, of all people, drove ahead from behind her hefting a snowball at the dog. Bal yelped, turned, and started after the not-so-templar about the courtyard with Levi's family children. Alright, even Tess couldn't help the giddy foolishness rising to her lips watching the two.

"It certainly has a way with creatures," the gravelly and only _slightly_ snide voice of Shale intoned as it shifted the earth with its steps. The smaller warden smiled at the large golem, its glowing eyes presumably glowering at her.

The little elfin mage recalled all the bickering from her companions as she trotted them across the country, seemingly intent on avoiding the places she, and they, _had_ to go to in order to stop the blight, instead taking the nearly month-long detour to Soldier's Peak, only to go straight to Honnleath, somewhere _FAR, FAR_ out of their way, to acquire the Golem. The only means to appeasing her companions, Morrigan, Alistair and _EVEN_ Leliana, was to go to the Circle Tower, which was the closest to the middle-of-nowhere village of places on their 'list' of where to go afterwards. The experience had been… unpleasant, to say the least, but they had Wynne for all their troubles and she'd even managed to acquire a mythic sword as big as she was! Zevran, whom they'd picked up on the way to Honnleath, despite _extreme_ opposition on her initial two companions' parts, didn't seem to care where they went, and Sten, the Qunari she'd 'rescued', again, despite opposition from Leliana, didn't say a word as they traveled around, until he felt like mentioning a small bit about his missing sword…

"Yes, _It_ certainly does," Tess couldn't help but chide back to the Golem. For whatever reason she had a lot of fun with the creature, it was like less caring version of Morrigan, one that _really_ had no care for anything nor its safety. Especially with it having a terse sense of '_wishing to smash the squishes_' that despite that including 'her' she couldn't quite help but laugh at.

The walking stone seemed to shrug in that dismissive way of it's, and Tess could only grin over her shoulder at the towering Shale, deciding, finally, to ascend into the territory that was Soldier's Peak, Shale shaking the earth behind her.

"So what exactly is Its business here?" the golem shifted its head around, scanning the squishes, before coming back to _It_, "This is an unusually 'lively' place, counterpart to what I'd heard the last time spent here…"

Tess nodded, ignoring the jolt of cold air as Alistair ran past her chasing Balthazar with children clinging to his pauldrons, "Yes, well last time we were here, the place was crawling with undead and fade monsters," she couldn't help the unconscious shutter at the thought of the fade, both here and with what happened back at the Tower, "Although, that should be somewhat amended, now that Avernus is back to doing 'ethical' experimentations…" her white brows creased, remembering the not-so-intelligent idea she'd had of drinking two vials of some random concoction from the man's laboratory, "At least he'd better be."

"Avernus?" Shale tilted down, _almost_ glowering at the tiny mage, "This is some _other_ mage It encountered… the one the others wished so dearly It end?"

Tess openly scowled, "Okay, so he's a blood mage from Sophia Dryden's time, and he absolutely lacks any kind of morality," she coughed, "But that didn't seem like any reason to kill him," she crossed her hands behind her back as she trotted up the stairs, Juggernaut armor clanking, "well, I didn't see the point in killing an old man obsessed with lengthening the lives of Wardens nor increasing our chances of survival during our indictment," the sour look didn't leave the elf's face as she remembered the others voting in favor of killing the man for his 'crimes against humanity', even Morrigan, which was weird in itself, but then again she probably didn't like the idea of someone being around with potentially more power than her…

"Interesting," the flat way the golem said it made it sound like this conversation was anything but, "Tell me again why It decided to keep this decrepit thing alive?"

The tiny mage shrugged nonchalantly, "I believe in the capacity for others to use their lives for the value of others," she waved her hand, "As I told Morrigan back in Lothering when she didn't like that I was 'helping' people, 'What I do now is in the hopes that some time in the future the act will be reciprocated'." She looked up at the hulking giant with her crystalline eyes, "I 'save' people with the idea in mind that they can 'help' me later… understand?"

The golem seemed to quirk a brow, as much as its features showed such emotion by a shift of its glowing eyes, "Intriguing, I suppose It released me with the same thought in mind?"

The white-haired elf took the final flight of steps, waiting at the top for Shale to manage its larger form up the smaller stairs, her eyes relatively blank when she responded, "Of course, I told you such when I released you, didn't I?"

It grumbled, shifting gravel as it moved, "It did I suppose, but what made It think I would actually oblige in Its odd, and ultimately flawed, way of thinking?"

"You're here aren't you?" she grinned openly at the golem before taking steps and heading over the open bridge to the last tower, the one where a 200 year old brooding blood mage resided, "in retrospect, I had no idea what you would do, it was honestly all up to you…" The golem seemed to ponder this odd bit of information as the tiny warden disappeared behind a large door, to speak with _that_ mage presumably.

"Such a curious creature," Shale could only mutter to itself, ridding itself of any further thoughts.

xXx

Sometime later had Tess sitting in front of a fire across from Levi's brother's… what's-his-name's forge, while he reworked her Juggernaut armor, in the hopes of making the silverite more durable, or something. The crystal colored eyes were just staring blankly into the fire, completely ignorant of the snowy cold despite having to borrow a set of leathers from their 'horde' stash Levi said he'd watch over as a way of 'thanking' the Wardens for clearing the place out, finding the fate of his deceased ancestor, and letting them move into the place despite the broody old mage that skulked the highest tower, alone. She unconsciously shuttered in the leathers, they were too… _light_ for her tastes, having become so familiar with her 'massive' armor, and after looking down at the Dalish designs wondered if it was one of those pairs Leliana had tossed in favor of her battledress…

"You seem rather cold?" Alistair's voice brought her out of her thoughts, his cold vambrace and gauntlet snaking their way across her shoulders, she assumed, as an attempt to help warm her up.

Head held dowerly in her hands as she perched her arms on her knees, she glanced at him sideways, finding nothing wrong with her friend's kind gesture, "Not cold, just…" she leaned back and rubbed her arms, noting his arm falling away, "feeling without…" the leather-clad mage shook again, why hadn't she thought to grab one of her old robes? Heck, even one of Morrigan's would have been more comfortable… probably... a look at the foot of snow told her otherwise.

A clank from the forge not far off reminded her of why she was currently in this predicament and she sighed openly.

"Heh," Alistair scratched the back of his head giving a goofy grin, "Right, I know how you feel, after getting so used to a certain pair of armor, only to have to toss it when there's something better…"

Her crystalline eyes glared at him, "I will never give up that armor, so help me, by some act of the Maker I will make it stronger before giving it up!"

The not-Templar raised an odd brow at his fellow Warden's comment, "Really? Why's that armor so important?"

Tess openly frowned, leaning her head on her hands again and staring into the fire again, "Aside from being my first set of plate," she eyed him, "It's also the fact that that armor is a piece of history in itself, lost to the world, and found by us…" her eyes narrowed slightly, "And for some Maker-awful reason, it's the only massive armor we've come across that fits me!"

"Oh," Alistair said almost boredly, "And here I thought it had to do with the whole 'blood magic'-ritual-super-powers the thing had?" he grinned over at her, hoping to bring a lighter tone to their conversation.

She smirked, "Well there is that," her eyes turned back to the fire, "with that suit, and the Yusaris, I'm practically immune to fire…"

"What is your obsession with fire?" he eyed her queerly, eyebrow bent as it seemed this was a time-worn thought.

The elf-mage glared at him bluntly sidelong, "I have dreams about a DRAGON!" those crystalline eyes narrowed the slightest, "They breathe FIRE!" her pointy little dark ears seemed to twitch, "I'm surprised you aren't amassing 'anti-dragon' ware as well…"

The not-Templar paled a moment at the mention of their shared dreams of the Archdemon, which did in fact come in the form of a dragon; he'd never given it much thought… "W-well, now that you mention it…" he eyed the sword that was as big as she was on her back, still amazed that she could lift it, even with magic.

Her eyes turned to narrow slits, "No, you cannot have my dragon-slaying sword…"

Alistair smirked openly at her covetous nature of _her_ sword, "So that's why you wouldn't continue on in the Tower until you acquired it?" his brow rose again, smirking but obviously questioning her seemingly obsessive nature about collecting artifacts that were specifically designed to repel-fire, "Even risking the lives of the mages?"

Her ears twitched back, and Tess had the decency to look embarrassed, "I-I knew I'd need it later…" she looked away, "And besides, all the demons on the upper floors _**were**_ pride and wrath spirits! AKA fire-spirits!" She whipped around on him with her hand held up like she was making a point, "So in the end my _little_ detour, and fumbling of magicks fumbled upon by some wayward apprentice, was worthwhile in saving us!"

All Alistair could do was smirk out a laugh at listening to her and her odd sort of logic.

She lowered her hand and pouted at him, eyeing him questionably, "How'd you know about that anyway?" the Tower incident hadn't been the best for her psyche, and she had been grateful it had only been shared by Wynne, a former teacher of hers, Morrigan, who's appropriate lack of decency in the Tower had actually made it bearable, and Shale, who'd just wanted to crush more mages. It had been limited to only them because Greagior had gotten some stick up his- hrm, upon seeing her again and refused she take so many 'companions' with her, lest they only feed the Fade more. She'd been grudgingly forced to agree, and had started off taking the most 'anti-magic' members of her entourage, including Alistair, before Wynne had wheedled her way onto the team and had sent the Not-quite-Templar back with the children and other mages. Morrigan had tried, really tried to go back instead, but Tess had swiftly grabbed the taller woman's arm, mentioning something about not leaving the wilds mage alone with small children and dragged her through the portal before Wynne closed it behind them. Shale had simply delighted in the idea of 'crushing mages' whether they be abominations or not.

The Not-quite-Templar nearly choked on his snickering, going slightly pale at the look Tess was giving him, "W-well, Morrigan had openly complained about…" he cleared his throat, trying to intimidate the witch's voice, " '_Our leader's obsession with wasting our time!_'," he couldn't help the grin and snicker that followed.

An amused white brow rose, "I'll remember that, the next time I'm 'wasting our time'," she put a finger to her chin in thought, "Now that I think about it, Sten _did_ want me to go about searching for his sword, back at lake Calenhad, and Leliana mentioned something about visiting someone in Denerim, and oh, that's right I do have to get a few Deep Mushrooms for those mages…"

Alistair's brow seemed to dip, "My, aren't we so busy, no matter that there's a blight or anything… heh," he honestly didn't know what to say, there really was no stopping their leader when she set about 'helping' people, and as she would say time and again, there was a reason for everything she did, even if it wasn't apparent at this moment. A part of the not-Templar smiled warmly at that, the woman in front of him, despite seeming scatter-brained at times, Morrigan's words not his, she did seem to have this incessant _need_ to help everyone that came into contact with them. Sure, they usually got paid, in items or gold, so much so many of them actually wondered where she put it all since they'd only ever seen her walking about with a purse no larger than her fist, but Alistair liked to think that while she 'said' she was doing it so they helped her later, that she was really doing it to be nice, and just didn't want to admit it.

After all, how else could he see the young woman that had shown him so many things, gotten him to talk about his past, and even comforted him with her words and joking banter… the woman that had truly taken his heart.

"Alistair?" a white brow was raised as her eyes bore into him intently, "Is there something wrong? You seem to be staring at me?" she got a cocky grin, the one he was so used to when it was just the two of them joking, "Am I in my leathers too much of a distraction that conversation won't suffice?"

The Not-quite-Templar blushed openly, "I-I ah-mean-uh…"

She laughed at him, openly and cheerily, it'd been so long since he'd heard her laugh. Whatever happened at the tower had certainly put a damper on her mood as of late, and even Morrigan, who for some reason was the best at finagling information out of about their leader when bickering with him, wouldn't say what happened. Wynne was tight lipped, and Shale just glared at him when he mentioned it. The three witnesses seemed to have taken some kind of 'vow of secrecy' and no one else in their party could get at the information, and while it irked him, he did find pleasure in the fact that Leliana and Zevran couldn't get that information either.

He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like the Bard and the Assassin as much as when he'd first met them, well he hadn't liked Zevran to begin with, but early on him and Leliana had gotten along fine, both being well versed in the chant and all, and the two would often debate theologies with Sten when the Qunari felt like sharing his opinions about his precious _Qun_. But not lately, either it was him, or them, but none of them quiet got along anymore. With Leliana taking Tess' attentions over silly things, and Zevran regaling her with stories of his assassinations… he eyed the small woman grinning next to him, he'd wanted to confront her about her relationship with either of the two, but since he hadn't quite told his own feelings yet…

She smiled at him.

… Maybe it was time to amend that.

"Tess," he looked down at his hands as he could feel her questioning gaze on him, "T-there's something I've been meaning to ask you about…" he hopes she doesn't notice the slight flush to his face.

A white brow perks as she looks at him, completely oblivious; "Right, this must be exceedingly important!" she perks up a smile at him, thinking this is just going to be another of their joking conversations.

"Right," he laughs lightly, trying to not let his nerves get the better of him, "Remember that rose I gave you?"

Her crystalline eyes blinked at him, a spark of warmth entering them, "Yes," she smiled endearingly, Alistair had been the first person to offer her such a gift, even if she had given all of her companions gifts, not knowing any better way to show her affections and appreciation at her companions following her on this journey. She eyed Alistair, his rose had been sweet, and their banter that followed enjoyable, she really did like having him around, and told him as much. Her grin nearly tripled, "Feeling thorny are we?" she couldn't help the jib.

The not-quite-Templar blushed more openly at the reminder of their banter, about how thankful he'd been when she'd turned the conversation into something joking just to let him be comfortable, she was a rather caring person, "W-well yes, about that…"

"Reconsidering my offer?" she eyed him with a quirked white brow, she remembered a conversation not long after that involving her jokingly offering him a time in her tent. She couldn't help it if she had been a _little_ overly flirtatious after her first… couple… times under Zevran's tutelage. But after Alistair revealed he was, in fact, a virgin, like she had been, both thanks to the Chantry and their seeming desire to curse such a basic act, she felt a need to retract her 'offer', it hadn't been appropriate to kid about something like that with a guy like him. She eyed him again, gauging his reaction, she hoped she hadn't offended him with her _saucy_ manner, what could she say; Zevran awoke a silly beast in her.

"U-uh, well, about that… um," as the would-be-Templar scratched his head trying to futilely cover his glowing red face, Tess couldn't help the twinge of shame for joking with him in such a manner.

"Hey, hey," she sat up straighter, scooting closer to him so she could place a comforting hand on his shoulder, and tried smiling apologetically at him, "Sorry, I didn't mean… to…"

"No," he turned to her, seeming to set something in his mind, "No, no, there's nothing wrong about…" he gulped blushing, "t-that…" he looked away, not being able to take her inquisitive eyes much longer, "It's just, I wanted to talk to you about something…" his eyes found her again, "important…"

Tess grinned, shaking his shoulder, "Well, okay," she scooted closer to him, not realizing what she was doing, "So just tell me," her smile was meant to be as reassuring as possible, if Alistair was having a problem she honestly wanted to help her fellow Warden out as much as possible.

The man fiddled with his fingers, wishing for a second that either Bal or Shale would walk by and he could get away from this… he gulped, intimate situation. He looked into her eyes, the tattoos on her face, the honest concern on her face, her toned lips… He stood abruptly, walking a pace or two from the logs they were standing on, still fidgeting with his fingers, "I-it's hard to say… exactly…"

Tess had leaned back when he made a move to leave her presence, and her eyes followed him, white brow quirked in curiosity at his odd actions, "If it's so hard to say it…" she started, getting up herself and dusting off her leathers, looking his way when he turned back at her noting he'd given her his attention, she smiled taking a step towards him with her hands behind her back, "Then just show me?" her smile was light, and she was honestly expecting this to be just another 'gift' or some odd display by the not-quite-Templar she'd gotten used to dealing with.

Alistair nodded openly, gulping to himself, and willed the flushed on his face down enough to breath, "A-alright," he took a deep breath and turn on his heel walking up to her, looking down at her as intently as he could, hoping to convey as much emotion as he could to her in that look where he failed to fill in with words…

Her head tilted slightly to the side, curiosity in her eyes, but she found no discomfort at his close proximity, after all they had been fighting together for some time, living together, talking, joking, proximity really meant nothing to the poor mage…

"I've wanted to try this since the moment you walked into my life," he said softly, and before Tess could so much as gather what he'd just said, Alistair placed both of his hands on the sides of her face and leaned down, sealing a kiss on her lips with his own.

Tess' mind went blank.

Alistair, foolishly, too her lack of rejection as acceptance and deepened the kiss, trying to put as much of his pent-up passion into it as possible, just to show her how much he cared. As he pulled back, hands still on her the sides of her face, unconsciously his thumbs running along her tattoos, he slowly opened his eyes…

And saw her just staring at him with the most shocked look on her face he'd ever seen.

"Ah," he fumbled back, not expecting that look on her face, "Tess, that-it-I mean…"

Crystalline eyes just blinked before her eyes trailed him, still not saying anything.

Alistair swallowed hard, a feeling suddenly raising in his gut like maybe there may have been a miscommunication somewhere, "That… I-I…" he ran his fingers through his hair, "Tess, you mean so much to me, and after all we'd been through…" his eyes trailed to her still form, "I just wanted to show you, that I mean, I would like to go further," he was blushing madly as the stone in his gut seemed to just sink with her lack of response, and to make matters worse, he was babbling.

"That…" words seemed to finally find his fellow Warden, "that just happened, didn't it?" her crystal blue eyes flitted to his, still showing some shock, looking for confirmation.

"Well, yes," Alistair finally said with some confidence, maybe he just surprised her, and this wasn't a total rejection, yea that was it, "I just kissed you, yes, I did…"

"Uh-huh," her head tilted down then up slightly, "You did…"

The corner of his mouth twitched downward, was that really all she had to say? "I take it I surprised you?"

"Very much so," she said, seeming to finally come back to herself as her hand brushed along her lips, trying to remember that it was Alistair that had just kissed her. For a moment something passed over her eyes, something Alistair couldn't comprehend, it was dark and bright at the same time, but before he could decipher the emotion she closed her eyes and vigorously shook her head, lowering her hand. Tess breathed out lightly, before turning from him, "I-I have to think about this Alistair…"

"W-wait," Alistair didn't know what to say, and Maker help him, he hoped he hadn't just done something he shouldn't have, "I-I just wanted to… well, show you…" he stumbled with his words, not sure what to do or say now.

Those crystalline eyes turned back to him, the light back in them, and a soft smile on her features, "I know, it's alright Alistair, you did nothing wrong," if only Tess realized she was only 'encouraging' him.

"So, it wasn't bad or anything? Not like to pushy, slimy or any of that?" he couldn't help slipping back into the comfort zone of 'joking' with her; she seemed to have come back seemingly pleased.

She let out a loose laugh, still walking away, "No, not really," she turned back fully towards him, smiling in an odd way, "I kind of liked it…" and she quickly bid her escape, needing to find her armor as quickly as possible, she suddenly felt extremely exposed and needed a large shell to hide behind.

xXx

The way back to camp was quick, ungodly so, never before had a trip to Soldier's Peak been done and over with in such a short time. Tess steadfastly walked in the front of the small group, Bal loyally at her heels, and the Mabari kept shooting glances back at Alistair, almost like he was appraising him or blaming him for his master's current mood. Shale had meandered thankfully between the two wardens, providing a shield for their leader in which Tess swore she'd thank the golem later for. Right now, she needed help; preferably help form someone _**NOT**_ of the male gender…

Upon entering camp they went their separate ways, Alistair straight to his tent, Shale meandering over to her spot, taking up her normal guard like nothing was wrong, and as soon as the other two were off to their own devices, Balthazar gave a playful bark to his companion and trotted off into the woods near the witch's tent.

Tess stood alone. Her crystalline eyes travel their 'little' camp, finding most of the others absent, out foraging or patrolling, who knew, her eyes skimmed past Bal's retreating form, her shoulders slumping slightly at the lack of fire in Morrigan's little camp, noting the witch was off doing whatever it was she did in the woods alone. Wynne was nowhere in sight, and that only really left one other female in their camp.

Leliana was lightly strumming her lute, keeping an eye on the central fire, and the camp in general. She glanced up lightly hearing the footfalls of armored steps, meaning one of three people were coming her way. Sten's steps were too broad and wide to be these, and Alistair made too much noise, the only clanking steps that seemed to always be muffled by the ways of magic holding it up were Tess', the Brad raised her head and watched her fellow woman approach and sit down next to her. A red brow quirking as the warden-woman seemed to just sit with her head in her hands, "I take it your trip was an eventful one, no?"

"Y-you could say something like that," came Tess' almost quivering voice, an unusual tone to come from their leader for certain.

Leliana set her lute down, taking a good look at her comrade, "Was there something that happened, something to trouble you so?"

White hair rose a moment, crystalline eyes catching her light ones a moment, an almost pained look coming over the smaller woman's dark features, "Something like that," Tess scrunched up her face in confusion, letting her hands drop as she stared at the fire, "I had no idea," she turned towards Leliana imploringly, "It's just… I…" her voice left her, for some reason finding the whole ordeal embarrassing to talk about.

The Orlesian woman placed her hand on the mage's shoulder, scooting a bit closer for comfort, "I take it, it wasn't so unpleasant, no?" she grinned towards the warden when she raised her head, "You survived correct, that's always a good thing?"

Tess couldn't help but smile at her friend's upbeat attitude; it was certainly something nice to come back to, something normal. Her grin spread as she sighed, "No, I suppose it wasn't _so_ bad… just surprising…"

"Well," Leliana got that spark in her eye like there was a juicy bit of gossip to be had, "You'll just have to tell me then won't you?"

Tess blushed the slightest, while she admired her friend's upbeat attitude, the woman knew all too well about getting information. The warden scratched the side of her face, looking down at the ground embarrassed, "I-I suppose I may have to…" she didn't notice the foreign woman slide even closer to her as she told her everything that happened while sitting around the fire at Soldier's Peak.

"No!" Leliana leaned back, shocked at what her friend had just said, "He didn't… did he?"

The elf-woman merely blushed enough to be noticeable, slowly nodding.

Something flashed across the red-head's eyes, something dark, but Tess wasn't paying attention, too wrapped up in her embarrassment about the whole fiasco. The bard looked at her companion, noticing her still nervous look, this had really bothered her and Leliana wondered why that was? The little elf woman, while unusual at first glance, showing no fear to people leagues taller than her and having an uncanny ability to gather people to her, even convicted murderers like Sten and Zevran, and turning them about to help with their cause. But all the while Leliana had watched her, talked with her about her time in Orlais and even confiding in her about her old teacher, she'd never seen such discomfort in her as she did now. Maker, even when she'd confessed to having a relationship with her teacher, another woman, the little elf hadn't so much as batted an eye like it was normal, when Leliana knew for a fact such things were _highly_ uncommon in Feraldan. It was after that conversation that the bard had started to wonder if their leader shared her interest, sure it was somewhat common knowledge she'd taken Zevran's offer when he'd joined them to 'use him as she pleased' but the red-head figured it was more as a 'learning experience' then an actual relationship, so she'd held out hope.

Now to hear this? That blushing Templar, man with no experience had already made a move on her! No, Leliana would not let this down without a fight; she was a Bard for Andraste's sake! And seeing the nervous and scattered reaction of her female companion surely confirmed the woman had no notice, or interest, in what the silly boy had done… right?

Tess looked over at her imploringly, asking a question in her eyes…

It was time this Bard answered that question!

Leliana reached around the smaller woman's shoulder, pulling her in a close one armed embrace, "There, there, let us forget about the silly chantry-boy, no?" she smiled down at the dark skinned woman, a white brow raising in a questioning way, "It will help, to clear your mind and forget about it for now," her hand brushed the white strands out of the woman's face, "And consider it when you are less flustered, yes?" the bard's smile was kindly, but still held that mischievous streak that was so inherent in her nature.

Tess swallowed hard, something in the back of her mind ringing a bell, but simply nodded lightly, relaxing and laying her head on the woman's shoulder. Humans were weird in her opinion, they were always so 'touchy', always had to be so close for some reason… well, except Morrigan, but the elf-mage was under the impression the woman wasn't _quite_ human, even if she had the appearance. Elves never seemed to be this 'close' all the time, sure Zevran was, but that was because of how _he _was, when they'd met with the Dalish they'd all seemed so distant. Maybe it was just her? and the two dwarves that followed them tended to stick to themselves, selling them wares they picked up along their route, but the dwarf-man and his boy didn't seem this 'touchy', so she could only assume it was a 'Human' thing… even Wynne would clasp her on the shoulder when being comforting, but that was about it, Mages, human or elf, seemed to be their own species at times. Balthazar liked to nuzzle and stay at her feet and be pet, but he was a dog, and that was just common communicate between them, and Sten… well Sten always stood by himself, Tess couldn't remember a single time she'd actually touched the Qunari, then again he seemed somewhat afraid of her, being a mage and all…

But this, this close affection from Leliana, she was used to, the Bard was always so open to physical contact, almost like Bal… maybe it was just how rogues were… open and touchy…

"You know, I'm kind of jealous," the woman's melodic voice spoke above her, dragging the warden from her wayward thoughts, "Hehe, with such an attractive woman involved…" the red-head smiled down at her, her comforting hand absentmindedly trailing the elf's pointed ear.

Tess could not help the color that rushed to her face, or the twitch in her ears. It was one of the things Zevran had first taught her; there was in fact a reason for elfish pointy ears. They weren't just pretty, they were actually one of their most sensitive spots, how she enjoyed making Zevran squirm by tapping his ears… so the fact that Leliana had just trailed their tip… well, she wasn't about to admit to the human woman that that was an exceedingly intimate act, no need to give her wrong ideas.

Her ears twitched again under the touch…

Not that that was helping her any as the blood kept running to her face…

"I-I'm sure…" twitch, "There's no need for you to be jealous…" twitch, "It's A-Alistair, after all…"

The Bard could only smirk smugly, Tess had yet to move away from her ministrations, so she must have been okay with it right? After all who didn't know that Elves had and ear thing… The redhead scanned the woman's flushed face, she obviously must have been comfortable in her spot, so surely that meant… "W-well, there was something I'd been wondering…" Tess raised her head, her crystalline eyes staring at the bard causing the woman to blush herself, "Well, it's just that… it's just so silly… you know… wondering… if…"

The Elvin woman leaned back, breaking their contact and stared at her companion, one white brow quirked. Was Leliana worried about her wanting Alistair? She blinked a moment wondering why the bard would worry about such a thing, surly she didn't… Her ears twitched, and she smiled in 'understanding', "Oh…" the little woman grinned openly, "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

Leliana flushed more, "Well, listen to me, I can't even get two words out," she batted her eyelashes, trying to hide her embarrassment, "You know I find you… well, I can't help but be interested in you…" there, she said it, Andraste help her.

Tess blinked her crystal colored eyes, not fully understanding the implication, "Someone like you being interested in me is flattering…" her conversations with Leliana always seemed to involve some kind of mild flirting, she didn't know why, it was probably just a commonality in Orlesian speech.

The bard couldn't help the giddiness she felt, "Surely you jest, someone as beautiful as you, dealing with the likes of us…"

Tess tilted her head, that sounded odd, "Of course not, you're always so complementary," she smiled at her friend, garnering the taller woman's attention, "I've always found that comforting about you," she took the woman's hand, hoping to comfort her, Leliana with low confidence just didn't seem right, "how you care to bring up our spirits, it's such a good quality, helping your friends…"

_Friends_? That was not the word she was looking for. The Bard eyed her intended, perhaps she didn't mean her in that context, "Just friends?" she said it in a coy manner, but a part of her was afraid that was all the woman saw them as…

Tess blink, "Of course not," she put both her hands on the one she had clasped, no idea how she was affecting this situation, she didn't even notice the way the bard flushed more, "You've become more to me then that…" a sister, maybe? Tess shook her head, not sure how she saw the bard, just knew that it was a bit more then 'friend', especially since she always seemed so sincere in helping her.

A part of the bard's heart soared, their leader saw her as more then friends, wanted her to be that…

Leliana abruptly stood up, her hand freeing itself from Tess' as she looked down at the little elf-woman that had captured her heart. She smiled openly at her inquisitive crystalline eyes, "There is something, I've been wanting to do for awhile now…" she didn't even register the surprised look on her companions face before the bard started singing an Orlesian love song.

Tess was stunned. Flashbacks of Alistair saying something similar before… she gulped as she watched the bard sing, it was a truly beautiful song, she wouldn't deny that, and Leliana had a beautiful voice… it was just the _intention_ involved in the song… no… it couldn't be… she twitched lightly as the woman came near the end of her song, kneeled in front of her, took her hands in hers and stared at her intently…

Then leaned forward and kissed her with her lips…

On the inside, Tess was twitching, cursing herself again for falling for this 'trap' again, and damning herself for slightly enjoying it this time… probably because while Leliana kissed her, the bard raised one hand and trailed her ear again… AND this time, she knew she knew damn well what she was doing!

Sadly, her traitorous body was more accepting this time around… due to machinations on the bard's part…

When Leliana finally pulled back, excited by the warden's lack of refusal, and skittish maneuvers at enhancing the kiss, she looked into the woman's eyes, her hand still idly hanging around her ear… "Such a beautiful woman, I've always been so embarrassed to do that… not knowing if…" she blushed.

Tess' ears twitched, her blush too rather apparent, "Certainly…" she watched her 'comrade' idly, wondering what was the best way to make an exit without having to fully deal with the conversation that was to come… and make her way to Zevran's tent, a certain _urge_ making itself well known under her armor.

"Certainly?" the bard tilted her head, brow raised, "Surly you have more to say then just that?" she grinned coyly, confident in her abilities.

The mage swallowed hard, becoming uncomfortable but not wanting to let it be known, "I have much to say," she raised a surprised brow while looking oddly down at the bard, "I just don't know where to start," she smiled, hoping that was the correct thing to say.

At Leliana's smile she released a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Then share, my dear," she smiled slyly, "I know it may be hard to compare to the prose of a bard, but I'd still love to hear it," she rose to sit closely next to the small, plate-wearing, woman.

Tess merely looked away with a rampant blush on her face, "Perhaps another time," she patted the human woman's hand, before looking at her, "First I need to think, prepare it properly for you…" she smile in a way that she hoped wouldn't hurt the woman but let her leave this situation anyway.

Leliana just seemed to smile brightly, like she'd already gotten what she'd wanted, "Very well then, I shall wait in rapt desire for it," the way she said it left little to the imagination.

The elf merely swallowed again, sliding away before standing up, and walking towards the tents, that had been awkward, more so then with Alistair… then again Leliana was far more confident in this field then him, and right now Tess wanted to think of neither of them. Where before her armor had been her shield to hide behind, now it was suffocating, she needed to get out of, all of it, she needed a moment to forget just a moment… she needed to find Zevran.

xXx

Sex had become a way to ease her mind and release all of her pent up frustrations and tensions, and Zevran, being a Crow, was well-versed in its passages, even teaching her what she sought to learn of the act so deliberately 'denied' to her former self. She enjoyed the company of the other elf, simply finding someone she was welcomed with because of her Elvin heritage, and also someone who didn't expect anything about it from her. They had talked, often, about his growing up in a brothel, her in the tower, how despite _being_ elves they really had no idea what that meant. And then there had been his stories, of far off lands, of _saucy_ encounters with men and women, those he was to kill and those he wasn't. When he'd first come to them, intent on killing her, and failing, she'd spared his life, and he'd offered to serve her, in more ways than one. At first she'd blushed at the concept, denying the offer, until… well, one night, pent up stress, tired of dealing with the 'humans' and their complaining, a message and _saucy_ stories later resulted with her waking up the next day, in his tent, lacking cloths… and she didn't mind in the least…

Tess had assumed it was a 'normal' thing, with the way Zevran talked about it, his entire life being either slaying someone or swooning them… so maybe it was just his way of doing things, it certainly helped relieved her stress of dealing with people. Balthazar had growled non-stop at the male elf for a week, and Morrigan wouldn't stop pestering her for details, she had been grateful for Sten's silence, and Leliana's which was odd, and Alistair didn't seem to know somehow… of course this all just lead to her going back for more 'lessons' and Zevran was happy to oblige his 'master', the relationship remaining oddly platonic, for which she was grateful for…

So Tess was rather surprised when he rolled over, fingers trailing her bare back, working its way along thorn-like tattoos that spiraled in and out of her spine, that he just seemed to be looking at her, staring as if he wanted to say something. Curious, Tess turned her head his way, white brows arching at his odd behavior, typically when they were both spent he'd sleep, since even as good as he was, he was no match for Warden stamina… something else Morrigan wouldn't stop teasing her about…

"Tess…" his smooth deeply accented voice surprised her more in the darkness, "About this, there is something; I've been meaning to ask you…"

Warning bells starting going off in the mages mind as her blue eyes seemed to triple in size, too bad he couldn't the shift in the dark…

She could see his blonde head tilt down as his hand stop trailing the lines on her back, "What do you think about," he made a gesture with his hand, "This?"

She raised a white brow, "I think I rather enjoy it…" she hoped this wasn't going to somehow turn into what she thought it was…

"Ah, yes, the carnal nature of things, so good to taste, my friend," he smirked suavely, knowing those beautiful gems of her eyes were on him, he leaned on one arm staring down at her prone form, "It is such a beautiful thing, this we share, I was hoping it would not end any time soon…"

She rose slightly, rolling on her side to look at him, head cocked as his eyes trailed her naked form. He always seemed so fascinated with the amount of tattoos she had. They were both of Dalish decent, that was obvious by the facial markings, what wasn't was the fact that while she had came to the Tower with a partial version of the thorn-like tattoos on her face, she had actually added to them over her time there. No one really knew how she did it, and many wondered if the Dalish just 'grew' more tattoos over time thanks to her machinations, but no one had ever asked her. She knew by Zevran's look, his own scarred body lacking the continued color that adorned his face, that he too was curious, just never asked.

She openly questioned him with her light colored eyes, "is there a reason this will be ending sometime soon?" something in his voice sounded off from his normal level of detachment she was used too…

A well used and dexterous hand brushed over her ears, sending a shiver through her body, down her jaw line and trailed her markings, and odd look in his eyes, "Just a curiosity about what you will do when this is over," his eyes trailed down to the space between them, "What would you do with me in the end?"

Her head tilted, coincidently further into his hand, "is this after I ravish you in celebration?" she smirked, and knew he could feel it in his hand, she had always loved how openly lurid her conversations were with him. So much fun in their questionable context.

He laughed deeply in his chest, "Well, of course there will be that once the Archdemon is dead," he paused in thought a moment, "Makes me wonder if its blood could be used as an aphrodisiac, considering how rare it is, no?"

She could only blush, knowing he knew from the contact, her mind running on the possibilities…

His voice brought her back to him, "Though that is not what I want to know…" again his eyes seemed intent on the space between them, "When this is all over, will you drag me along with you or will you finally kill, since my services will no longer be required?"

She looked at him solemnly, Zevran didn't show it, but he did seem to have this _tendency_ to not like being used, even if he was a Crow, and that's how his entire life had been. Raising her own hand to place it over his, she nuzzled affectionately into it, wondering how to ease her friend's mind, "Not at all," her eyes flashed under her lashes, "You could go, if you wanted."

He stilled, she could feel it through his hand, then after a moment he freed his hand and trailed a finger along her facial markings, making his way to her chin, "That is a comfort, to know if I so pleased," he leaned in closer, "Although, I may want to extend this contract further…"

She grinned, liking having his suave back, "Well, there's always a use or two for a handsome elf…"

"I'm sure there is," his breath danced over her lips before he claimed them, somehow softly. Something about this all seeming far different then what Tess was used to from her bed-friend. As they pulled away from each other, she saw it; in Zevran's eyes was that same thing she'd seen in both Alistair and Leliana's eyes. She stunned for a moment, barely noticing his thumb rubbing gently on her chin, "I don't suppose there would be any way I could convince you to make this arrangement… permanent? _Mio Bella_…"

She shuttered at his Antivan accent, the way his breath passed over her lips, and she cursed him for a moment that he was completely ruining their master-teacher relationship she'd grown so comfortable with. Fisting one hand on her thigh, out of his line of sight, she closed her eyes, tilting her head down and sighed openly. She didn't want to hurt him, and she didn't want do whatever the hell she seemed to be doing that was driving all of her friends to act strangely around her.

Maybe she was cursed or something back at the Tower…

Looking back up into his waiting eyes she knew she couldn't answer him, not now, not when she had all these other things floating in her mind. Her hand on his clinched around his, lightly removing it from her face as she decided words wouldn't do right now. She moved to stand and his grip on her hand tightened.

"Tess?" his eyes were curious, uncertain, and she didn't want to look at him when he had those eyes.

"I have to go," she squeezed his hand reassuringly before letting it go, opening the flap and making to leave, "I-I just need to think a minute…"

"Naked?" he quirked an amused blonde brow at her retreating read, enjoying the view, but the flap closed behind her before she even answered, perhaps she hadn't even heard him.

Right now, she just needed to get away…

xXx

As Tess stormed passed the main camp she vaguely noticed the fire was still going. Maker, what time was it that that damn thing was _still_ going?

She noticed a movement from the other side of it but just kept stomping by, letting her mood eek out of her, hopefully causing whoever it was to keep their mouth shut.

As she passed by the edge of fire she could just feel the eyes on her, sense the surprise, and it just bubbled like nothing else in her as she spun round on the seated Qunari and just glared, for one in her life, down at him, "What?" she crossed her arms, not caring that it was under her bare breasts, and not caring in the least that she was standing bare as the day she was born in front of the quiet and usually sulking man-giant.

Sten just blinked his violet eyes. The tiny woman that had 'saved' him from his destined fate of dying unarmed when the blight came to Lothering was an odd creature indeed. _She_ fought darkspawn, _She_ was a mage, _She_ even wielded a sword as big as she was thanks to some magical means that honestly sent a shiver of both fear and confusion through him, and _She_ was half his size and in some way scared him.

And at this very moment the tiny, scary, elf, mage, Warden was glowering _down_ at him completely naked.

She tapped her dark toned foot, crystalline eyes boring into him, "I take it you have nothing to say," she waved her hands out around her, "Even in _THIS_ situation?"

"_Parshaara_…" he turned back to the fire, a slight smirk tugging at the side of his lip at her fierce look as she turned at headed towards the Witch's tent. It was one thing he could say about the strange creature that was their leader, she didn't stand down, even with nothing at hand… his head tilted over his shoulder, hive violet eye catching her tan form and white hair trudging away, full view of her naked backside. He smirked, "Unarmed and still up to the challenge…"

xXx

Tess sat in front of Morrigan's fire, far enough away from the camp she felt _slightly_ more comfortable. She glared at the dying embers, noting the lack of piled firewood to use, and for a moment cursed her lack of interest in elemental magicks. She sat, arms wrapped around her knees as she just glowered at the dying fire, just daring it to finally snuff itself out. There was a shift in the tent behind her, her ear twitching at the sound of someone alive inside, and almost snorted that it took Morrigan several minutes to venture forth from the thing, fully dress except for her leggings, she almost wanted to laugh.

A white brow rose as she looked up at the wilds mage, an indignant look painted across her face as she didn't care that she was bare in front of her, "Do you have something you want to tell me?"

"Intriguing," the witch stated, crossing her arms and staring down at their leader, who was sitting naked in front of her tent when last she'd seen the elf was off to Soldier's Peak with the dog, idiot, and golem, specifically _wearing_ armor. A black brow quirked, slightly amused by this rather unorthodox situation, "yes, in fact, I had intended to discuss a matter with you upon your return," she tilted her head with a smirk playing at her lips, "Although this situation presents itself a more appealing topic currently…"

Tess put her hands to her face and just leaned back, not caring that she was giving the Witch a complete eyeful of her nude form, "You have idea…"

"T'is most true I'm sure," Morrigan inched closer, not caring for the woman's nudity, she'd grown up in the wilds, cloths was a necessity she'd had to learn to deal with in her growing age, while as a child under Flemeth she'd just run around like that, plus it was easier for transformations… she sat next to the languid woman, coaxing the fire back to life with a little magical help, "Although I'm sure it can be easier explained then you think, for starters," she glanced at her, "What happened to that armor you grew so attached to… surely you were wearing it up to Soldier's Peak?"

Tess groaned, hands still covering her face, "It's currently piled up next to Zevran's tent…"

The witch's brow rose still, "I take this isn't the start of your current predicament?" at the Warden's continued groan her smirk turned somewhat devious. While traveling with the small elf-woman was hectic at best, it certainly served to be interesting. Their leader had an odd way of going about things, seemingly choosing the 'hardest' paths possible, yet somehow reaping the greatest rewards. Already, she'd gotten the Dalish on their side, also having the word of the now-'human' Swiftrunner that his 'pack' will help, even if they don't see them. All the while dawdling about in the ruins, as if lost, somehow finding ancient Elvin armor, the Juggernaut armor she so adored, scaring the Witch half-to-death when they had to face four Revenants for it, and not to mention the ancient elves Arcane Magic that made it even possible for her to wear it. The they'd manage to acquire the Circle of Mages' help, since for some ungodly reason the little twerp didn't want to kill all the Mages that had become Abominations, even letting a few of the blood mages that had given up go. It was maddening! But they had the Mages help for it, and _even_ some of the Templers were at their disposal, since they went where the mages went, as the little elf presented that logic to the Knight-Commander. And the spoils there weren't any less, her mother's Black Grimoire, the Yusaris, and various other magical scrolls that may now be missing from the Tower library. And Wynne, having the healer was certainly a plus, if the incipient old biddy was rather nosy. Not to mention the various _other_ things they had been forced into one way or another, like the deal with Soldier's Peak, and getting the Golem… strange, out of the way things, that somehow turned out for the better for them, even if Morrigan didn't want to admit it.

Reaching behind her and under a flap of her tent, Morrigan produced a blanket, one of the things they'd gotten from the Dalish as a means of 'thanks', and for whatever reason the witch had kept it. She threw it at her tossing comrade, causing her to stop her groaning. The look the elf shot her under her hands was amusing at least, "You looked like you may freeze, if you kept that up…"

Unraveling the blanket, Tess swiftly wrapped it around her nude, and only _slightly_ freezing form, her waning fury taking the warmth with it, "Thank you, Morrigan."

"Thanks are not necessary," she poked at her dying fire with a stick, "Although, if you'd like to compensate me," she smirked eyeing the woman with her golden eyes, "Explanation as to why, of all things, you've ended up at my tent without dress at this hour of the night would be accepted…"

The elf-mage pouted, tenting the blanket around her as she sat cross legged, "Very well, I suppose you deserve at least that," her smirk rivaled the Witch of the Wilds' as she went into a full-length and detailed explanation of the rather confusing events of her day.

By the end of it Morrigan was once again laughing openly, amazed at their leader's simplicity, "Truly you jest?" she eyed the little woman who was now glowering at her with an obvious blush on her features, "_How_ could you have not seen any of this coming?"

Tess' ears twitched back, almost like the Mabari's did when he was growling, "How was I supposed to know?" her white brows furrowed, "They are my friends! I don't look further into these things, I didn't think it was any different then how they treated others," she had reached her hands out clinching and unclenching them in front of her, opening the blanket, "I merely reciprocated how they treated _me!_ I didn't think I was 'encouraging' anything… hinting anything… _doing_ anything!"

The witch was still laughing next to her, futilely trying to hide it behind her hand.

She pouted at the woman next to her, "And again I ask, is there anything _**you**_ want to suddenly reveal to me, Morrigan?"

It at least put a halt to her laughing for now, the witch waved her hand in front of her, "Trust, young Warden, if you were male T'would be a valid question," she snickered some more before eyeing her 'friend', "But seeing as you are not, I fear you are safe from the likes of me, for now…"

The white-haired elf sighed, "It's almost a relief to be rejected…"

Morrigan smirked, "So, how are you going to go about dealing with this… _problem_?" the grin on her face and the look in her eyes told of all manner of mischief from the witch.

Tess squirmed, "Didn't you say you had something you wanted to speak with me about?" her white brow was raised at the apostate, she didn't care if the subject change was obvious, if there was one thing she enjoyed about talking with Morrigan is was that it was perfectly okay to be blunt and snide, rules of decorum be damned.

The witch made that amused little laugh the elf had gotten used to, "T'is true, I do have a matter of some urgency I'd like you to undertake…"

"This," now it was Tess' turn to smirk at the witch, "coming from the woman who doesn't like me 'wasting our time'?" her raised eyebrow was both accusing and amused.

A sour look crossed Morrigan's face, "I'll get that incipient little toadstool for saying anything," she'd crossed her arms in a huff, as her golden-demon eyes passed over the little elf, the amusement in the smaller woman's eyes not lost at all, "Yes, yes, smirk all you want, I require a task of you," she glowered over the little mage, "But that is for tomorrow, now, T'is your predicament!" her grin was evil, shifting things back to the poor female Warden.

She squirmed again, "Damn Witch…"

"That's Witch of the Wilds to you Warden," Morrigan made a show of straightening her meager robes, "A title that once held such clout as yours, if not more." While her tone was snide, Tess couldn't help but feeling there was a level of amusement under her presumed insult.

"Yes, yes, 'Witch of the Wilds' great and terrible," she eyed the smug smirk on the witch's face, "That still doesn't detract from the fact that you are an evil witch…"

"Indeed!" the woman took an odd amount of pride in being considered 'evil'.

Tess smirked, "Alright, Witch," she said it deliberately just for the inane sake of it, banter with Morrigan could truly be amusing at times, "how am I supposed to deal with the apparent amorous attentions bestowed upon me by three of my most trusted companions?" she raised a questioning white brow at the dark woman.

"Hmm," the witch put a finger to her chin, "T'is a most peculiar situation, I know how my mother would handle such a thing…"

"I am not thrilling all three of them and using them for my whims or to spawn evil daughters," her eyes were blank, and for a moment wondered if she had actually said something wrong as Morrigan flinched for the briefest of moments, only to a second later brush it off like it never happened.

"Well, there goes that idea," she waved her hand dismissively, "Beyond that I've no means to help I'm afraid," the witch eyed her comrade openly, noting her dower expression as she just curled up setting her head on her knees, mirroring the position she'd found her in only with the blanket wrapped around her. Curious, Morrigan put forth an obvious question, "Are you sure you don't want at least _one_ of them to be your continued companion?" Morrigan didn't like the concept of love, and had expressed such to the elf-mage on many occasions, but that didn't stop her from noticing the small woman had some concept, if not desire, for the feeble emotion, so the fact that she so quickly dismissed all three candidates was rather intriguing and didn't make a lot of sense.

Unless…

The smaller woman sighed deeply, shaking her head in a definite 'no', "You know I don't want any of them like that," her eyes were blank as she stared into the fire in front of her, "Love does nothing but hurt you in the end…"

Morrigan actually frowned at the look on their normally so 'proud' leader's face, but her suspicions had been confirmed, "Still remembering that Templar, and what he'd said back at the Tower," out of the corner of her eye she noticed the smaller woman flinch before curling up more into the blanket. The Witch of the Wilds sighed, "T'was a horrid sight, that man, expressing at length the levels and depths to which he'd proclaimed his interest in you," Morrigan remembered the look that had passed over the Warden's face when they'd reached the top floor just before the Harrowing chamber as the Templar, Cullen was it, had spouted his love for her and cursed the demons for continuously using her image as a means to torment him, not even believing when the real woman was standing in front of him, and then… The witch ruffled, "You need not remember him, or his words, he was delusional, babbling, affected by the Fade and his own diminishing resolve…"

"He loved me," her voice was soft, so much so Morrigan had to stop in her rant just to confirm she'd heard it, "Even before I left," her eyes tilted down, blankly staring at nothing, "He was always there, watching me, silently protecting me…"

-_More like watching if you'd turn into an Abomination…_- Morrigan's mind couldn't help but throw out, for some reason her mouth not making the same effort. The sheer idea of it, a Templar and a Mage... honestly, this wasn't some _Saucy Fantasy_!

"I was actually going to go talk with him, before I left," there was a small sad smile on the corner of her lips that Morrigan could help but notice, "If it hadn't been for that mess Jowan got me in, then… then…" she pouted openly at the fire.

"Then you wouldn't be a Warden, yes?" Tess' crystalline eyes trailed to the Witch of the Wilds, momentarily forgetting she was there. Morrigan was staring at her, almost weighing her in her golden eyes, "You'd have been there, at the Tower when all this had happened, perhaps an abomination yourself? Or he?" she raised a black brow, "Are you honestly looking for something that never was, over what is?"

The Warden pouted, "No, I'm not… I just… wonder, sometimes," she glanced back at the Witch, a slight smirk rising to her lips, "If I had stayed, Jowan hadn't finagled me into that situation, I'd gotten to talk with Cullen, and who knew what happened from _That_," her smirk seemed to rise, "It would have been just _you_ and _Alistair_ leaving your mother's hut…"

The witch's brow twitch, how did this situation just get turned on her?

Crystalline eyes seemed to dance with the light of the fire in her eyes as she turned with more confidence towards her fellow mage, "I wonder, if it had _just_ been the _two_ of you," smirk as she noticed a small amount of color come to the witch's face, "no Bal, no me, no Shale, certainly no Wynne, no Zevran since you'd both would have killed him, probably no Sten since neither of you would have cared, probably no Leliana since Alistair was so sure she was crazy," she was picking up speed, hand holding her chin as she could almost feel how uncomfortable the witch was becoming at the prospect, "on the road, facing danger, having to get the races together… _just the two you-_"

"That is enough of your senseless babbling!" Morrigan had her eyes scrunched tightly, probably from rage, as color seemed to find its way to her face at the small woman's insinuation. Only Tess noticed that the fire suddenly became larger with a spark of angry magic from the witch.

Tess couldn't help but smirk, she knew Morrigan was grateful for the others; it kept them all occupied so she could have her peace away from them all. But there was always a wonder… crystalline eyes scanned the fuming witch, a wonder about a time back in Lothering when she had 'skipped' at the idea of having the Templar all to herself. The elf couldn't help but smirk as she made another push, why? Even she didn't know…

"You know," her eyes met the witch's, "You still have rights to him?"

She couldn't help but laugh as the fire tripled in size.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** i like torment Morrigan... and you really should have the ability to 'complain' to other companions, and not just have Wynne being nosy... in fact the old woman wasn't even nosy until i'd already broken it off with Ali and was wondering around in Orzymmar... and about Leliana no less!

yes... where are my reviews! -cough- i mean... _saucy fantasies_... hehehe

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	3. Foof!

**A/N**: First i'd like to thank those that have reviewed, you owe me a story and you know who you are... -cough- and all those that have looked at this little bit of crack-tastic-ness...

now, this didn't actually happen, but again due to hilarious conversations with my brother, i suddenly had this funny idea of _**Foof!**_ and couldn't let it go...

its so terrible... you'll get it when you get there XD

ENJOY!

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><p>What 'Could have' been?<p>

Denerim, the heart of Feraldan. The seat of power in their country so ravaged by the blight. The place where the Archdemon and its horde were trying desperately to tear apart.

But that wasn't going to happen!

Two years Tess had dreamed of this monstrous dragon, two years she had taken to not only gather the races, but the people of this country as well. Through her quests, helping those who needed it thanks to the blight, those who were down, those who just needed someone to give them a hand. All the tiny things she had done had sent ripple after ripple throughout the country until now there was an army like no other storming the gates of the city, Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Mages, Templers, Golems, Qunari and anything in between that she'd in some way touched, all crushing the darkspawn under foot as they made their way about taking back _their_ city!

And here she was, 22, mage, elf, Warden Commander, personal assistant to the newly minted King at her side along with _His_ Witch of the Wilds and her ever faithful Mabari companion, the four of them staring down the potentially imminent death as the Dragon-formed Archdemon writhed on top of Fort Drakon thanks to the sacrifice of Riordan and various archers.

She thought for a moment where the others were. Zevran, her Crow Assassin and perhaps physically closest companion and confidant, had went to the Alienage to help the elves there, _their_ people, thwart the efforts of the Darkspawn to burn down the grand tree, the Alienage elves' only link to their nature-loving heritage. Sten had stayed at the main gate, using his massive form and his beloved Asala to prevent the advance of reinforcements for the Darkspawn into the city, with the help of many Mercanary brothers both she and he had managed to guilt into helping by questioning their honor. Wynne was in the courtyard below, along with Irving and Greagior, coordinating the Templers to protect the Mages as they erected a barrier to prevent the continued rush of Darkspawn into the Fort, helping to cut off the Archdemon from its horde. While not much further it could be easily heard as Shale and Oghren lead the Dwarves and the few Golems Cairidin let join their fight, crushing the Ogres the Darkspawn were trying so desperately to get to the walls of the fort. While all along the walls, Archers lead by her Bard and dear friend Leliana, as Dalish, Human and Dwarf rained down death on the horde, as the ruminants of Swiftrunner's now-'human' people kept them safe with their up-close-and-personal savage style of combat. Somewhere in the market place, Tess was sure she heard the distinct _Bang!_ Of gunpowder weapons as Isabella lead her pirates on a _saucy_ raid of the few Darkspawn that had the foolish idea of running into her side of town. Hell she wouldn't be surprised if somewhere in this chaotic battle Avernus and the bloodmages she'd let go free were exploding enemy after enemy as the psychotic mage took their blood for later experiments.

And so many others, so many names, so many people she'd come into contact with in these past two years…

But that didn't matter, because as of right now, she had an Archdemon to slay.

Thanks to the efforts of, and extreme finagling on her part, Morrigan and Alistair had _ensured_ her that no Warden would have to sacrifice their lives killing the beast. Ensured her, rather _loudly_ three days ago and every night since, that they could combat the beast with no-more-fear then they'd had fighting Flemeth in her dragon-form. So taking Yusaris in her hands, gripping it between her Juggernaut gauntleted hands as she flicked the visor of her helmet down she charged at the thing, all her buffs blazing, her will o' wisp floating around her head, miasma eking from her body weakening the creature, as she cast a stun and a curse on the creature before plunging her massive-her-sized sword into its flank. The thing screamed, the external sound echoing in her mind as she could feel it trying to command its horde to help it.

A howl from her right, and she could feel as a fleshy meteor that was Bal rammed into it alongside her, causing the thing to stagger.

A charge a yell from her left and she could feel the Templar faith-magic surge through the area as Alistair smote the Archdemon's attempt to cast magic on them, while he drove his sword, King Maric's sword into the fiends exposed side.

The thing fumbled from the onslaught, but nowhere near down, with a roar it whipped its spiked tail around sending Alistair flying and crash into a wall. It was out of the corner of her eye that Tess noticed he had blocked the blow with Duncan's shield, grinning behind it, only really slightly dazed from the impact as he got back to his feet.

The tiny Warden couldn't help but grin inside her enclosed helmet; she could feel the surge of essence from Duncan's sword and dagger strapped to her back, knowing that in this fight, they were what needed to be used. Withdrawing Yusaris from the Archdemon and replacing it on her back, she took Duncan's weapons from her back, and ran around the beast aiming to pin the thing's tail with the old Warden's blades. A swat of its wing caught her, rounding her hard in the chest, and before the pain even settled in she could feel the warming hum of Morrigan's healing magic, grinning as she remembered the fit the wilds mage had had when she'd requested she'd learn healing from Wynne. If she had the time she would have glanced at the dark mage over her shoulder, grin in that knowing way as if to say '_I told you so…_', knowing for a fact the woman probably had a pouting sneer on hers like she always did in response, '_shut up and keep going!_'.

A crackle from the Witch of the Wilds lighting had its attention for now, and Tess ran behind it, leaping with as much faith she had and stabbed Duncan's sword and dagger as deep as she could into the thing's tail, not only pinning the beast to the spot but preventing that appendage from any more damage. That didn't stop its thrashing that sent the little Warden flying. As she drifted in the 3 seconds of airborne, she watched as Bal had clamped on to his right flank, pinning the limb and seemingly ripping out its tendon as much as he could. Alistair working on its left flank, cutting the Achilles tendon and beast's rump dropped unceremoniously as Morrigan for some Maker-awful reason was the one keeping its attention with blasts of ice and lighting intermitted with heals on the others.

She landed against something hard, but not cobblestone and she wasn't dropping. A glance up through the slits of her helmet and she saw the full-helmeted form of Sten, his violet eyes the only part of his face she could catch along with the handle of Asala on his back. She blinked, that growl she'd come so used to escape his lips and was amplified by the full-helmet, "_Kadan_, on your feet, this is no time to be flying…"

Tess smirks behind her helmet, dropping out of his hands and taking her beloved sword off her back, "Ya know, for that comment, I might just take away your cookies…" she can hear him growl as he draws Asala.

"What in return do I get for accompanying you this far?" and she can feel him drawing power from the blood of the fallen Darkspawn nearby.

Another smirk from her, feeling the life flow through them both as she summons her own ill-gotten blood-magic, "A cake will be in order I suppose…"

"Very well," and they both charge back into the combat against the giant beast.

Overhead she can see arrows let fly, one from the left of the beast, and another from its right, both catching the thrashing thing right in eyes. A smirk found her features as she can see the blood start flowing from it.

She can hear Zevran tsk, "And here I was hoping get it in the nose, just for the fun of it…" her ear twitches at the familiar strain of his bowstring as he cocks another arrow.

"Oh please, everyone knows the eyes are the best way to get a dragon," she can hear on the other side, as Leliana's melodic voice begins to form a song to boost their abilities in this final fight.

The Archdemon thrashes, infuriated as it screams inside her head and roars on the outside, having become pinned, and now blind! It swipes its fore-claws taking out the warriors in its path, not before Sten and her can release attacks that set gaping wounds and burning blood to boil inside it. A comforting light enshrouds them all, the familiar rejuvenation of Wynne's very specific magic, Tess knows the old woman is nearby, keeping them all intact and allowing Morrigan to go spell-crazy.

After being flung back, Tess watches as two forms rush past her on either side, Shale's hulking form rushing at her left and Oghren's red berserk form on her right. She watches, always amazed as Shale releases an crippling attack, shoving crystals into the Archdemon's fore-claw, roaring her gravelly throat like the dwarf she once was, while on the other side Oghren, screaming-dwarven-fury of his own shoves his axe so deep into the beast's other claw it cracks the stone beneath it and pins it there.

Blind, pinned in all ways except for a singular working wing, which is quickly frozen thanks to Morrigan's pent-up magic and shatters as the Archdemon flails, calling to its horde, crying, screaming, roaring all the fury of a poisoned old god. Yusaris in hand, spells blazing around her, cloaked in the comfort of her Juggernaut armor, shrouded in the comfort knowing that her companions made it here, for this final moment, helped her in this final act.

Before any of them can so much as blink, or say a word, the tiny Warden, elf and mage, is flying, rocketing towards the Archdemon's exposed neck, screaming with unbridled fury as she hefts Yusaris, a sword as big as she is, one of her prized possessions, a weapon designed specifically to _kill dragons_, and lowers the blade with the efficiency of a guillotine and all the might of Feraldan behind it, beheading the beast. A single lingering roar escapes the thing's throat as its head is separated from its body, and dwindles into a gurgle as the blood flows rampant from it. Tess lands where the head once was, rolling away due to the force of her blow, and stands in a shower of red as the Archdemon's blood flows with great force from its severed neck.

Everyone just stares at the sight. Watches in rapt silence as the small armor-clad Warden Commander, bathed in the beasts blood, grip firm on her sword, as she trots slowly to the thing's head, somehow still alive for this last moment. She stands imposing and grim over the thing's eye, which opens despite the arrow sticking out of it, and she can see it; the last vestiges of the Beast that had haunted her nightmares for the past two years, still glaring defiant as she raises Yusaris, point down over the soft flesh of its eye. Without a sound she plunges the large blade into its eye, with enough strength to pierce it all the way through, straight into the ground below it.

For a moment nothing happens…

Then she can feel it, the essence of the Archdemon, the fury, the hatred, the pain, the sorrow, the sheer _corruption_ of the old god Urthemiel. It burns, inside and out and her hands are practically fused to the sword that links their two bodies. The elf-woman grits her teeth bearing the pain, bearing the soul for as long as she can, knowing that at some point it was going to wonder over to their Witch of the Wild and fuse itself with the baby she and the King of Feraldan had kept her up for three nights making…

… at least, that was the idea…

It was with stunning clarity that something popped into the little Warden's mind, her head popped up and she stared unbelievingly at the couple that was in front of her, not caring about the remaining looks of shock going around. They couldn't see it, but they could certainly hear the scorn in her voice as her last words left her lips…

"OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SODDING KIDDIN-"

_**FOOF!**_

… And they all just stared as their Warden Commander, the woman whom they had spent two years with getting to know, falling in love with, learning to hate, and loving all over again just _**Foof!ed**_ into ash along with the Old God's soul as the Archdemon's body disintegrated leaving only an empty set of plate and one hefty sword…

They all just stared wide eyed and jaws gapping…

None more so then Morrigan and Alistair…

"BY THE MAKER!" The new King yelled, throwing his hands in the air before rounding on his woman, "Morrigan! We did the ritual! We _MADE_ SURE!" he grabbed the seemingly catatonic Witch by the shoulders and lightly shook her, "What HAPPENED!"

The Witch turned gold eyes to her king, just gapping in disbelief like him...

Leliana was standing next to them, Zevran at her side as the two rouges rounded on their 'friends', "Don't tell us you didn't do the ritual right!" she screamed, followed closely by Zevran's, "The sex couldn't have been that good for you to screw this up!"

Morrigan, now the center of all attention, not knowing what to say or do since she was _pretty sure_ she'd done the ritual right? Runes on the floor, lyrium consumption, perfectly timed rhythm and apex, sigils and a dabble in blood magic… a flush cross her face recalling that very specific night, her first night with her Templar, all the arguing they'd gotten into, finally releasing all the Sexual tension and frustration the two had had building between them since they left her mother's hut two years ago… the sex… no, nothing seemed to have been out of place…

Unless…

The Witch of the Wilds looked disturbingly pale as she turned to Alistair, completely ignoring the others, "Well," she started, looking at the 'remains' of their closest friend, then back to him, "I guess that means I'm not pregnant…" the look on her face was completely lost, having no idea what to do about this situation…

Again, Alistair raised his hands in the air screaming, "ARE YOU SODDING KIDDING ME!"

The collective groans and complaints and questions about Alistair's fertility and shouts of '_what the hell was the point in keeping us all awake for three nights!_' went completely to the wayside as Morrigan could only shrug in a completely stunned manner, "Oops?"

xXx

Somewhere in the bright and shiny afterlife in the Maker's presence a little dark skinned tattooed crystalline eyed white-haired, _NAKED_, elf-mage-former-Warden-Commander was sitting disgruntled with a twitching white brow as her knee kept twitching, "I'm going to kill them…" she growled, "I'm going to come back and haunt them… and _KILL THEM_…"

Urthemiel just rolled its godly eyes, "Just make your move already," rumbled the tiny, cat-sized red-dragon-thing as it flicked its snake-like tongue at the woman who'd taken it in death, glaring at her to make her _damn_ move already.

Tess glared over the chess board between them at the tiny former-Archdemon with her crystal colored eyes as she reached a hand out and moved a piece, "Checkmate…"

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><p><strong>AN:** because, if i could, i would have Tess tell the Arl "No, i'm not the one that's gonna marry Alistair... that's Morrigan..." and watch as the two sputter behind her...

and its just a thought, i mean honestly, there's some thing going around about how Warden's have little chance of conception, and no matter how much you _'make sure_' that doesn't always mean it'll catch ya know? but talk about the _worst_ pregnancy test ever! XD

welp, peace all, i'm packed, saddled up, and off to do whatever i do...

I want more reviews! please?

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	4. Wonder

**A/N:** hooray for the crack-tasim... and the fact that i wanted to write something, and do something productive before i have to leave the planet of internets for a week... it sucks having a real life -.-

again, crack... random, stupid idea, but always a wonder :3

Enjoy!

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><p>Always a 'Wonder'…<p>

It had started out like a normal day… sort of. Whilst out in the wilds of the world, after setting up camp and spending an unusually 'decent' night sleeping, the morning came and the 'normal' morning scouting was set in motion. For whatever reason, Tess, their de facto leader, and possibly _slightly_ airheaded at times… Morrigan's words… had set about that every morning a group of 'four' would go about 'scouting' ahead while the rest took down the camp and traveled behind until they caught up. Now, while this tactic _was _effective in that the roads were usually cleared by the time Sten came lumbering by with all their camping gear, followed semi-closely by the dwarf and his son, it was never out of anyone's notice that _for some reason_ Tess was always in the 'scouting' party and just about never had to pack camp…

'_Leader's privilege…_' was her response when Alistair, of all people, questioned her on it. The others had merely shrugged not caring, since she did cycle people through fairly evenly, and it left others with down time if they so chose. Morrigan approved because she got to kill things in the morning, Leliana got to practice her skills, and Sten rather liked walking leisurely behind the group, even if it meant caring 'the stuff'. Bal typically followed his 'master' wherever she went, no matter what she said, and Alistair got tossed around at her whims, which was probably why he complained, then again it had gotten worse when Zevran came and he typically joined his fellow elf for this morning ritual… much to _certain_ others' chagrin.

Now, this morning's troop consisted of Tess, as per usual, Leliana who was looking edgier than normal, Bal, since he wouldn't take a 'stick' bribe this time, and Zevran. The blonde male elf stood at the far back of the party, the two women up front looking like they were just _itching_ for a fight, while the large Mabari was almost cowering behind his master, giving her a decently sized berth. Now, Zevran may have been somewhat 'new' to the group, and of questionable morals, but he was quick and noticed a lot. He was an assassin after all, your wits were what saved you, and usually it was because of the smallest of details…

Tess, in her monstrous Juggernaut armor, and sporting some random battle axe she'd grabbed out of their cumulative stash in her hand, as opposed to her Elder Icy Staff which just sat untouched attached to her back, emitting its cold aura as if sulking. The tiny, darker-then-his-skinned woman also seemed to be somewhat… 'skulking'? He wasn't sure if that was the right word, but he got the impression if he tried to start a conversation with her she'd probably growl at him like her Mabari, the poor thing looked like it would put its tail between his legs if it were long enough…

The skilled assassin turned his eyes slightly to the right, spotting the red-headed human-woman.

Leliana, normally so affluent and bubbly in the morning, was edgily tossing one of her daggers in one hand, looking around with an odd scowl on her normally so cheery face. From what he had seen the woman typically preferred her bow, but like Tess, it was sitting rather unloved and forgotten on her back, her daggers finding her favor at the moment.

These signs were causing warning bells to go off in the young elf's mind… he hadn't lived this long by ignoring his instincts.

After a stoic… and disturbingly quiet walk, Zevren took a few steps at a slower pace, increasing his distance from the females. Bal seemed to agree with his movements, mimicking them. For it seemed that the longer this 'peaceful' walk continued, the more edgy the women got.

Never before had the Elf-assassin wished for something dangerous and tainted so badly…

So when a group of genlock, aided by an Emissary popped up on the ridge he couldn't stifle the "Thank the Maker…" that slipped out of his thin lips… a glance up to the sky as if for confirmation with his light eyes, only to come back down and see a delightful gorefest in front of him. Leliana was shouting something, far too aggressive to be her normal ballad, as she sliced a gunlock in two. Tess roared as she hacked with the 'normal' battle axe through two of them.

Zevran blinked, not only at the efficiency of the two women with their 'un-favored' weapons, but the sheer brutality. There was a whimper to his left and he noticed the Mabari sitting, hunched with his ears flat, as the large dog just whined at the killing going on…

"Strange…" was the only thing that passed through the male elf's mind. When he looked back at the beautifully deadly women Leliana had just stabbed the last remaining genlock through the eyes, and Tess had vertically split the Emissary in twain as its spells effortlessly bounced off her Arcane Aura…

Both women still had that edgy look in their eyes… even more so now that they were covered in blood…

Blood…

Bloody…

It was as if lightning had struck him, Zevran's light eyes widened just enough, as he realized what was going on…

xXx

"Gentlemen," the significantly smaller male elf stated as he sat down around the newly made fire in their 'new' camp for the night. Thankfully, it was only Sten and Alistair around the main fire at the moment… Bal too since Tess had kicked him out of her tent about five seconds ago… the dog whimpered as he pawed the ground near the _'other'_ elf. The human and Quanari spared the smaller man a glance, both in their nightly routine of sharpening swords and cleaning armor… even if there _was_ barely any blood on their armors tonight thanks to _certain_ women being somewhat moody and eager for a fight…

"I believe we have a problem…" the normally so teasing elf was oddly serious.

Sten noticed this, raising a white brow in the smaller man's direction, halting his cleaning for the moment.

"Problem? What kind of problem would be so worth your notice?" Alistair simply snorted, continuing his cleaning, practically purposely ignoring the elf.

The Qunari and elf shared a look, while Bal snorted at the Templar.

"This is a problem that I believe concerns us all, yes," Sten and he shared a look, obviously the Qunari understood, "Especially those of us of the manly race… a great time of fear for men is upon us…" the drama was laid on rather thickly as Zevran seemed to swoon…

Sten nodded with his eyes closed, Bal joining him as if understanding the deeper meaning of their conversation.

"_Rek'shma_…" the large man said with a breathy deep voice, "Such a fearful time…" something close to a resigned growl escaped his large chest, "Especially with these… _warrior_ women." He gave an involuntary shutter, it was still a concept he was trying to get used to.

Bal whined.

Zevran nodded in his flourishing way, "Quite true my friends, the veracity of them becomes times fold, and it is similar to dealing with a living Tsunami or Avalanche…"

"Riiiiight," both men and dog 'in the know' turned towards their remaining male counterpart. It appeared Alistair _was_ listening to them… his poor naïve chantry raised mind just wasn't putting the pieces together, "What exactly are we discussing?"

A shared look amongst Qunari, Elf, and dog.

"Surely you must know, my friend?" Alistair gave the elf a look that clearly said '_we're __**NOT**__ friends!'_, which only caused the teasing elf to grin wider. He turned towards the near-giant, "He did travel with them before you, yes?"

"Yes," Sten's resigned sigh accompanied his answer, shaking his head at the naïveté of his fellow warrior.

"Yes, I traveled with '_them_' as you put it so eloquently," Alistair just lamely glowered at the Elf, "For all of a week, maybe two, with Tess and the Witch…" he openly scowled, dramatic and childish like most of the things he did, "_We'd_ only met Leliana earlier in the day before you Sten…" then his light brown eyes just glared at the male-elf, saying quite obviously '_then you came along…_'.

"Aww… no mention of your kindly canine friend here?" Zevran cooed as he scratched the large Mabari, Bal merely huffed at the attention, it wasn't one of the ladies, but it was certainly better than going 'un-petted' for the moment.

Sten just shook his head dismissively, "Elf, he merely hasn't taken the time to notice… leave it be."

Zevran shrugged at that, "Suppose that's true, it does take quite a bit of _experience_ to know what to look for…" the elf-assassin tapped his finger to his chin, "Though that does bring a curiosity about our 'Witch of the Wilds', no?" His pale eyes met Sten's violet ones, a silent conversation passing between them.

"Hmm," the large grey-skinned man closed his eyes in consideration, "You do have a point…"

Zevran nodded, "If my experience tells me anything, she should be aligned with the other two as well… unless she doesn't have that monthly un-pleasantry…" The elf too had his eyes closed in full on concentration.

Bal barked his input, as if to correct them with his knowledge of the women of the camp.

The two non-human men eyed the dog, nodding agreement with him as if understanding what the Mabari was putting forward.

"He does have a point…" Zevran said while nodding.

"True…" Sten nodded once in kind.

Alistair, the sole '_human_' amongst them, glanced his eye from one 'pondering' man to the next. There was a '_secret_' conversation going on between them he wasn't picking up, something involving the women… and the month… and their weird mood as of late… "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggghtt…."

"Oh dear, you men have been left to your own devices, what will you do with yourselves?" there was only one person that snide voice could belong to…

Sten, Zevran and Bal turned towards Alistair… or more correctly the deviously smirking dark woman standing over the squirming Templar. Morrigan, her grinning Cheshire gold eyes burrowing down at their obviously uncomfortable Templar as she leaned over his shoulder, just _hovering_ close enough to disturb his personal space. The woman looked like a cat that had a mouse between her paws, batting it back and forth, amused with whatever she felt like doing to it before finally eating the suffering creature. At this moment, the three across from the large fire would definitely agree that Alistair was that mouse.

Out of nowhere Balthazar released a retching howl.

The cat-who-ate-the-canary-grin immediately dropped from the dark woman's features, to be quickly replaced with a just as 'winning' scowl as she glared at the dog, "wretched beast, must you ruin my fun?"

Alistiar released a deep breath, finally feeling like he could breathe again. 'Swooping Witches' in close proximity… uncomfortable.

The dog whimpered a bit and Morrigan's scowl just seemed to deepen, "No I will not!" she stood with a distinct 'humph' as she sneered at the dog.

The dog lowered its head, sulking as he was shot down, again. There may or may not have been a snicker or two from the non-human males.

The Witch of the Wilds merely crossed her arms over her _mostly_ exposed chest, sighing deeply at the strange creatures that were called 'men'; Elf, Qunari, Dog, and…

Alistair cleared his throat, "Tell me I'm not included in that 'damn them all and their stupidity' sigh…"

Morrigan opened one eye and glanced at the man sitting in front of her, "That depends," a small smirk made its way on her features, "do you _know_ what they were talking about? Hmm?" the smirk grew slightly as she leaned in and watched him flinch, "or do you still have the intelligence of a toadstool?"

Zevran audibly swallowed hard, "I take it you have been listening to our…" he looked around at Sten and Bal, "… dilemma?" he raised a blonde brow, not sure if that was the right word, while the other two just nodded as if in agreement. At the blank glare the witch sent his way the male elf leaned back, whispering to his comrades, "Perhaps we were right, and our 'Witch of the Wilds' hasn't reached that age-" whatever else the assassin may have said was quickly stamped out by a well placed lightning bolt, courtesy of said witch.

Morrigan gripped her staff, a thin black brow twitching as she held her weapon decidedly too close to the cowering Templar, a lingering bolt or two of magic dissipating along the wood. Something between a growl and a lingering sigh escaped her and only Alistair was close enough to hear it. Not that he was paying that much attention to it, seeing as there was a _**STAFF**_ covered in _**LIGHTING**_ right next to his face…

Morrigan leaned back again, scowling at the males before her, yet again ruining her nightly fun of 'Torment the Templar', "I see no reason to be telling you this, _Elf_," her eyes may have narrowed just the slightest, enough to even make the mighty assassin cringe, "but if it will satisfy this profound curiosity you've taken in the '_superior_' gender currently," there was definitely a devilish smirk on her pale face as she brought her staff back down in an 'unassuming' manner, letting poor Alistair breathe again as he seemed to be forgotten for the moment, "then I will _grace_ you in knowing that, yes, it would be that '_dreaded_' time for me as well as the rest of our female constituents…" the look in her eyes just _dared_ someone to say something…

Zevran stared blankly, as if in thought…

Sten just stared…

Bal… well Bal whined but stopped once the wilds mage sent him _that_ look…

And Alistair… poor, poor Alistair, just turned his neck, catching sight of the dark woman behind him as she seemed to be waiting for some sort of 'response' to her statement. Now, he may have been raised by the chantry, and only given a 'summed-up' version of certain 'basics', as Tess put it, but there was definitely a warning bell going off in that instinctive male part of his brain that just _knew_ to keep his mouth shut… but this was Alistair, and this _was_ pertaining to the Witch…

"Sooo…" he stared blankly, gaining all of their attention, "if this 'Dreaded Time'," he used air quotes, "that they speak of puts Tess and Leliana into a sort-of homicidal-kill-everything-in-sight-with-my-bare-hands rage…" he stared at the black haired mage behind him intently, garnering a raised brow from her, thought what about was anybody's guess, "Does this mean it affects you all the time, or do you somehow just become _nice_? Because I _honestly_ haven't noticed." Oh yea, cheeky 'I'm a bastard and I know it smile' and everything.

He watched her hand twitch, one black brow following it, before her pondering smirk turned almost into a growling snarl.

The Templar just kept grinning.

The other males…

Zevran crossed a sign over his chest, "May the he fall into the darkness quickly…"

Sten mumbled something of a death-prayer from the _Qun_...

And Bal… well, if Bal was a normal human-esque being, he'd be grinning like he won the lottery, currently his little stub of a tail was in hyper-drive and he barked loudly a _polite_ suggestion.

At this the Witch scowled at the _men_ across the fire, leaving the Templar to squirm in his last moments… for now…

An eerie and uncomfortable silence filled the camp for a short moment…

Then…

"_MORRIGAN!"_

Everyone, the dark wilds mage included, cringed at the sound of their diminutive leader's voice, and even more so when her clanking armor came swiftly, followed by stomping leathers. Tess, scowl marring her tan and tattooed features, marched up to the camp, Leliana and her own delicate features presented non-too-kindly followed closely behind her. Both women came into the camp with one objective, their eyes zeroed in on their fellow woman, the men apparently completely ignored, for now…

"T'is something you n-" before Morrigan could so much as finish her sentence, the little armor-clad mage had grabbed the taller woman's arm, rather roughly, and started dragging her away from the camp.

"With us, now!" Tess' normally so 'kind and caring' voice left little to be misunderstood.

"But-" again, the poor witch tried to get a word in, only for her other arm to be just-as-roughly taken a hold of by the scowling bard.

"With us," Leliana wasn't even looking at her, her eyes just closed and her eyebrow twitching, "You have some explaining to do…"

"I what?" Morrigan looked honestly perplexed, it was probably a first, and probably the _ONLY_ time anyone would see it. Especially since it involved a small armor-clad elf-woman and a taller red-haired human-woman dragging, by her arms, _**Morrigan**_, of all people, _TOWARDS_ her own fire, away from the main camp… and she looked almost, _almost_ completely terrified.

The men just stared…

"Tell, Friends, did that…" The elf trailed as he absently tried pointing the way the women were going, but unfortunately his boggled mind wasn't moving his normally so dexterous hand properly.

"Yes," was all the Qunari could say, then again the fact that he was saying _anything_ was strange in itself.

A whimper was heard from the war-dog.

And Alistair, Alistair was just staring as he watched the women drag away Morrigan, _**Morrigan**_ of all people… and for whatever reason the wretched Witch was staring at him, almost like she was asking _him_ of all people to save her from what was about to come.

"You can inspect him later!" Why, why did Tess' voice have to carry this far, "_Our__PROBLEMS, __**NOW!**_"

They cringed yet again, at the might and fear that only women could seem to cause.

"_Yes_~, _Dear_ Morrigan," only because of the continuing silence did Leliana's voice carry, "You've been holding out on us… _Witch!_"

Somehow, Maker only knows, Alistair could just _tell_ the 'witch' was cringing…

Whatever she had said was obscured because of the distance, but the male's in the main-camp could just 'feel' the rising aura of dread… or maybe it was Tess' Miasma… or Leliana's song of 'I'm going to kill you all…' or maybe just the concept of someone, anyone, making Morrigan look _almost_ afraid.

"Don't lie to _**ME!**_" it was very disturbing seeing their 'leader' shake the taller, dark woman's arm, almost like a pouting child. Some more words were passed from the elf-woman, again causing their Witch of the Wilds to _cringe_, and Leliana look close to tears.

"I-I thought w-we were in this together!" somehow, through her 'odd' tears, Leliana could be heard, wailing, or whining, the men weren't sure.

The witch, who was now 'let go' and facing away from the men, seemed to slump her shoulders, deeply, it was disturbing… seemed to be deeply 'sighing', and said something if the 'listening' way the two emotional women looking at her intently.

Then, most disturbing of all, both Elf-woman and Human-woman '_glomped_' the Witch of the Wilds, obviously catching her off guard since the two brought her down to the ground, _still hugging her_, when the unthinkable happened…

"OH MORRIGAN! I KNEW YOU CARED!" that was Tess…

"I LOVE YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING, ANDRASTE SAVE YOUR INFERNAL SOUL!_" _Leliana…

The men were twitching as the '_flattery_' seemed to continue.

Then…

There was a firey, lightningy, icey, magicy, explosion of magic…

"_GET OFF OF ME!_" the Witch stood up, tossing something at the women who had '_man-handled_' _**HER**_, before stomping off to her own tent, "All you had to do was _**ASK**_ for the damn herbs!"

"Hooray!" "Bless you Morrigan!" Tess and Leliana were holding a pouch of _something_ each, waving at the witch as she made her way back to her place of solitude. Never before had she _needed_ to get away from people.

The two women turned back to the men, still rather stunned into silence from the whole ordeal. Tess said it most eloquently, "What?"

"Nothing!" Qunari, Elf, Dog, and Alistair all turned away, never again wanting to discuss the women they traveled with.

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><p><strong>AN:** and the question comes about, "Where does this stuff come from?" where? easy, my head, now **WHY?** is always a better question... why? cause i can, but seriously, these people are traveling around for around a year and some-ish, with relatively 'young' and 'viable' wyminz... _That_ time of the month _Has_ to come around some time, right? and as Sten put it, they are 'Warrior-women' which makes them scary-er... and i dunno... it was just a funny idea :3

oh the joys of having people around in close-quarters in a semi-dark-ages time :D

well, i'm off! give me something to read when i get back! (Review -.-)

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	5. Beautiful

**A/N:** soooo... been... i dunno -glances around- awhile?

truth be told my job's had me move around alot so this chappy was actually 'hand-written'... -gasp!- in a NOTEBOOK! O.O! ohnoes! yes... i had to do this the analogue way before i had a chance to do anything else... so transcribing this when i finally got to use lappy consisted of about a few sentences every time i turned it on before someone popped up and dragged me away from my digital happy T.T

so... i dunno... its still funny in my opinion, just kinda weird in comparison to the rest .-.

but yea, for the background... so i for whatever reason i got DA:O super-special-edition for mah ps3 (which btw this was the last time i got to touch the poor thing T.T) and i was restarting it, realizing i couldn't customize 'Tess' as much as i could on the pc addition... weird... but yea, playing on ps3, and getting passed ostegar AKA the prologue, and waking up with Morrigan as the first person you see... well, irony being my god for whatever reason, my bro, yes that one that started all this XD, called so i was talking with him while talking with Morri about the 'begining' talks, blah blah blah... then i notice something funny when the scene moves... my little elf mage is sitting, in the ONLY BED in Morri's house... in only her underclothes? hmm...

of course i bust out laughing! XD 'Bro, i just noticed my elf is naked in morrigan's bed!' muhahaha...

so yea... enjoy! :3

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><p>'The Start' of a… <em>beautiful<em> friendship…

Ostagar

The battle, the flames, the giant bloody Ogre at the top of the Tower of Ishtal… the new Warden dreams about it, remembers, feels as the arrows make it through her mage's aura, shifting only _just_ enough to make her linger in pain longer. She doesn't know what happened to Alistair, one moment they lit the beacon, looking down at the battlefield… next…

"Uhmm…" stiffly her hand raises to her forehead. Death, it seems, wouldn't be claiming her this night…

"Ahh, I see you're finally awake," that voice, it was familiar, where had she heard it…

Tess cracked open one of her crystalline eyes, finding before her the younger wilds mage the Warden Recruits and Alistair had met earlier in the woods. A quick scan of the room found it to be some shabby 'hut', the sole other occupant being the younger witch.

It was as she sat up, the covers falling from her stiff form that she noticed _something_ else…

"Mother will be glad to know you're awake…" Morrigan stared at the young '_elf_' woman… that _was_ what they were called right? Small frame, pointy ears, strange fetish for tattoos… Elves? It took the young witch a moment to realize that the junior Warden hadn't said a thing, just kept staring ahead. Curious by this strange creature that seemed so apt at conversation before being quiet, she raised a black brow, "T'is the part where _you_ say something, hmm?"

The elfin-woman merely turned her head, slowly towards the sole other occupant, fixing Morrigan with an odd stare. Tess blinked; it was the first sign of life since she sat up.

-_Curious creature_- was all Morrigan could thing, "I take it you are curious about your surroundings?" no response, "What happened that landed you here, injured in my mother's care?" at the continued blank look Morrigan began to have a strange feeling crawl under her skin, it was like fear, but nowhere near as strong, but the instinctive inkling to '_leave_' was certainly there. She tried, one last push to acquire some sort of response from the smaller woman, "Perhaps, you are curious about your… 'friend', the overly suspicious one who's currently crying like a baby up front?" nope, still nothing. She lightly shrugged, well, screw that plan…

"No," at the sound of the white haired woman's voice Morrigan only _slightly_ started in surprise.

She blinked gold eyes at her, curious, "No?" blinked again, "As in you don't care about any of that? Or what happened to you and the other Warden? Or the battle?" her first impression hadn't been that the woman was capable of being so callous, after all she was one of the first people to ever give her a proper greeting, even knowing she was a 'Witch of the Wilds'.

"No," the elf repeated, blinking again as she just stared at Morrigan.

The young witch's black brow rose again, and again she repeated the woman's response, not knowing any other cause of action, "No?"

The elf shook her head, seemingly gaining back some faculty. Morrigan wondered if perhaps her mother had dropped the young woman on her head whilst 'saving' the remaining Wardens and merely didn't mention is?

"I-" she started, "I'm sure I'm supposed to care about that all immediately, and I'm assure I will," she closed her oddly colored eyes, a twitch coming from one pointed ear as she looked like she would sigh, "once I've cleared a rather important matter…"

"Important matter?" Morrigan stared at her as the white haired elf tilted her head only the slightest in confirmation, eyes still adamantly closed. This truly did pique the witch's interest, "Surely there isn't something I've overlooked that would out-shadow the concerns to your health, your order, or your companion?"

Again, that slight nod with closed eyes.

And again, Morrigan was curious. What would be so important tit must be solved long before the others? Her power? Their kingdom? Some night-love affair she'd had at the camp? The young witch could only smirk at that, surely the woman, this _Mage_ wouldn't be so foolish as to fall for such folly?

"Yes, there is one thing that is glaringly obvious and at the moment stands out to me more so than all other concerns at hand," she cracked her eyes open and seemed to stare at Morrigan long and hard, "What am I in a hut, Maker knows where, in someone's bed, I don't know…" her eyes zeroed in on the wilds mage more seriously, "And Most importantly… why am I naked?"

Morrigan blinked.

The elf stared.

Morrigan had to fight the rising smirk, "Surely… surely you jest?" the stare continued, rather seriously, "You… you were injured," she stated like it was the most obvious thing, "incredibly so, not so far as to be beyond my mother's ability but your vestments had to be removed for the process…"

An ear twitched, "And my small clothes?"

The young witch just shrugged the slightest, as if she had already answered it.

"So again," the elf continued to stare blankly, "I just woke up in a strange place, naked, and in a witch's bed…"

Morrigan crossed her arms, "If it makes you feel any better, T'is my mother's bed…"

A white brow rose, "not really… though it does raise some questions…"

"Like what?" Morrigan stared at the elf flatly, a curiosity she wasn't willing to show coming to mind.

An ear twitched under the witch's scrutiny, "For starters," she eyed Morrigan, "if this is your mother's bed, where do _**you**_ sleep?"

The witch resisted the urge to roll her eyes, though with her posture of arms crossed and being rather stand offish made the gesture useless, "I turn into a dog and sleep under a tree…"

The elf stared blankly.

Morrigan rose a black brow.

A pointy ear twitched, "Are you being serious?"

A light smirk came across the wilds mage's lips, "It's possible, what do you think?"

She just narrowed her crystalline eyes at the witch.

She sneered, waving the Warden's oddity aside, "Back to your earlier concerns," she sneered, "T'is not as if I would do anything to you in your _vulnerable_ position…"

"Funny you should say 'position'," a white brow rose, "… it's because I'm a woman… right?"

The witch scowled at her comment, keeping her arms crossed, "T'would not be so, even if it were that blithering idiot you call another Warden."

The, nude, elf smirked, "So you just don't like women and Alistair…" she pondered a moment, "or do you just not like Wardens?"

A black brow twitched as her hands went to her hips, "Trust, Warden, T'were up to me, the both of you would have been left at the top of that crumbling tower, and T'would be your King instead I'd have catered off…"

White brow rose skeptically, "So…" she drawled as her crystalline eyes fell on the Witch, "Is is the whole 'King' thing, with titles and power," she waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, showing how much the elf-mage cared for such things, "or the 'Man' thing," there was a definite smirk rising on her lips, "Because I have to say Alistair had more brains then Cailan ever did…"

While initially perturbed by the continued questioning of her 'preferences', at the mention of the man's intelligence compared to the other Warden, Morrigan could hardly hold back the question, "Truly?" the white-haired elf nodded. The Witch mused, "Intriguing…" before she shook her head, "T'is not important, " she waved her hand then glared at the diminutive elf, "He would have fetched a far higher ransom then two Wardens…"

The elf raised a hand to her chin in thought, "Suppose that's true…" her ear twitched before she eyed the young Witch, "though, honestly, what would you do with coin…" a white brow piqued, "out here, in the wilds?"

Morrigan seemed amused, "while gold _**does**_ have its uses in a magic, T'is not what I would ransom him for…" she shrugged, "as you said, the power of such a human could be useful…"

Her brow stayed raised, skeptically now, "makes sense," before her own amused grin passed her lips, "is that _**all**_ you'd use him for?"

Gold eyes narrowed on the little bedridden mage, "What _is_ your obsession with determining I've some ulterior motive to everything?"

Pointy ears twitched, amused as the tattooed elf smirked, "And you don't have 'ulterior motives'?"

Morrigan blankly stared at the smaller woman, "Not in the sense you seem to keep in the 'froe of one's mind…"

Tess' ears leaned back, her expression turning oddly serious, "I'm _sorry_, I'm **NAKED** in a **BED**…" she let the statement sit for a while, letting the, she assumed, 'younger' mage squirm a moment, "My mind's a little… _jumbled_ at the moment."

"Distracted, you mean…" the Witch's sneer didn't have be seen to be heard.

The tattooed elf obviously shrugged, "Still haven't gotten a complete answer on that one…"

The witch had the audacity to roll her golden eyes, "Moving on," she sighed, this 'elf', this little woman had the nerve to be… be… '_Frank_' with her, a 'Witch of the Wilds', and act almost like it was… normal? Morrigan shook her head, such thoughts were unnecessary, "Since you are awake, I am sure my mother would like to see you…"

A white brow rose, and it looked like the smaller mage bit her tongue, halting her first response before it got out, instead asking rather politely, "why would your '_mother_' want to see me?"

"You mean besides the fact that it was her who saved you, _and_ healed both you and that blubbering idiot's wounds?" was she being cheeky? Perhaps…

Tess smirked at the sound of 'attitude' in the 'human' woman's voice, "Yes, that is a right wonder," she eyed the dark woman with her crystalline eyes, "Why did she save us, you think?"

"Who knows?" Morrigan answered honestly, "even I don't understand the things she does," she eyed the naked woman before her, "If she does have some sort of plan for you two she has not told me any of it…"

Tess seemed to think this over a minute, closing her eyes and holding her chin in her hand. Morrigan wondered what ideas came to her mind after watching her expression shift several times, finally landing on something akin to a grimace, an ear twitching low, "eww…"

The witch shook her head, raising her hands and waving the woman off, "I don't even want to know."

"Good," the tiny Warden said, opening her eyes and looking distinctly sick, "Because there is no way I'm telling you," for a moment she stuck out her tongue, "Bleh…" whatever the thought was, it was truly frightening.

Seeing as she'd much rather distract the Warden, and change the topic, Morrigan picked at one of the curiosities she figured the woman would like to know, "T'would now be a better time to consider other things, the battle perhaps?"

"Battle?" the little mage raised a questioning brow, seeming lost by her earlier thoughts, not recognizing what the woman said immediately.

"Yes, the battle," gold eyes bore bluntly into the tinier woman. Morrigan was once again left to wonder if she'd been dropped on her head, "T'would be a point of interest, considering it T'was what left you and the sniveling baby what remains of your Order and Kingless…" for a brief moment she wondered if what she'd said was 'cruel'; seeing as she had no frame of reference and her mother made it apparent early on that 'attachments' were only a weakness. Seeing as the young Warden seemed to gain a clouded look on her face a moment the witch considered her thoughts true, not that the really affected her…

"So, they're all dead," the white haired woman's tone was distinctly subdued. It was truly odd to Morrigan; she'd seen others given such information crumble into tears, that skeptic-twit loitering outside being first and foremost. But while it seemed the junior Warden _was_ affected, she didn't let it out as much as the others.

"T'would seem so," Morrigan's only response in lieu of the silence that filtered between them.

A moment of calculation could be seen behind Tess' crystal colored eyes, "There were no others?" her eyes raised to the dark mage, "Survivors that is, fleeing from the battlefield?" the woman was smart at least; statistically her and Alistair couldn't have been the _ONLY_ survivors of the battle.

"T'was that man and his army that left prior to your utter defeat," the witch watched as the emotions played across the naked woman's face, a certain turmoil she couldn't… wouldn't want to understand. She wanted it to stop, "there were also those stragglers whom were carted off by the darkspawn further into the wilds…"

Tess raise a brow, that calculating look again, concern obvious behind it, "Alive?" at the witch's, decidedly slower, nod, the white haired woman looked away, considering, "could they be saved?" there was a slight confused desperation in her unusual eyes, "is there any possibility?"

The witch seemed to shrug without care, "T'is possible, if one were willing to go deep into the horde for some stragglers you've never known," the little woman was curious, weighing the possibilities, the practical arguing with morals, all conveyed intricately through those calculating eyes. Morrigan felt a strange urge to help tip the scales being weighted in the woman's mind, perhaps just to be done with the silence or conversation, "T'would you waste my mother's healing, your life, and possibly what remains of your Order for people who are more than likely already lost?"

The elf sat quiet a moment, thinking, she closed her eyes as if to block out the world, to consider more without the interference. After a long moment of holding abated breath the small woman released it, sighing deeply, "No," she said sternly, "No I wouldn't," Tess cracked one eye open and peered at the witch with a strangely clear look in her eye, almost challenging, "Although, I wonder, if it were someone important, someone _you_ cared about…" the witch ruffled under her gaze, "what would _you_ do?"

Morrigan scoffed, trying to hide her surprise at the question being directed at her, "I would leave them," was her immediate response, but this was more because she _didn't_ have anyone that close to her that she'd care if they died horribly. Sure, there was her mother, but the two had be spiteful of one another for as long as the young Witch could remember, she honestly didn't think the old woman capable of _'Love'_, at least not in the sense that these people thought.

The Elf-Woman quirked a white brow, opening her other eye to stare at the Witch, "And what if it was you?"

"What if it _was_ me?" Morrigan turned an indignant golden-eyed glare at the tattooed mage, "What _is_ with all these questions?" she huffed crossing her arms under her chest, "is it honestly going to get you anywhere, hmm?"

Those crystalline eyes turned towards the bed, an unreadable mask placed over her face, "I was just curious," she rubbed her arm in an uncomfortable way, "Wondering how _**I**_ should act in this situation," her eyes turned questioning towards the dark woman, "heh, I honestly don't know what I should do in this kind of situation…"

Morrigan deflated, if slightly. She wasn't used to people, and especially not ones that openly admit their flaws, or voice her own misbegotten insecurities in a situation she'd never seen herself in before, "well, yes, T'is alright then," even she didn't know what was going on, what her mother was planning, what the Wardens were even _**doing here**_… any of it, but that wouldn't stop her defiant nature, "Just… perhaps, T'is time to speak further with my mother," she crossed her arms, more than uncomfortable with the situation, "She's out front with that blubbering idiot…"

Tess seemed to smile, if only slightly, "and what about you?"

It was as if she were asking the same question over, only with slightly different words and a sunnier demeanor. Morrigan shrugged it off, "I will remain here, yes… and perhaps cook something," she waved her hand dismissively, already considering the ingredients needed for her and her mother's dinner that night… hopefully with _less_ company this time.

The white haired elf quirked a brow, "you cook?"

Gold eyes sternly turned back to her, "yes, I cook…" Morrigan was openly questioning her sanity, "We witches _**do**_ eat, like all other things…"

Tess snorted, "No, it's just the idea of _**you**_ cooking…"

Hands on her hips, Morrigan just stared at the diminutive woman, "and what is wrong with the idea of _**ME**_ cooking?"

An elven ear twitched, "it just seems so… _domestic_…" the elf laughed as Morrigan tried to rake in the magic around her, causing the fire in the hearth to grow slightly, no that either noticed.

"I'll have you…" the young Witch clinched her fist as a black brow twitched, shutting her eyes tight, "Never mind, just leave, get out, you are my mother's problem, not mine!"

"Naked?" Tess almost seemed scandalized as the Witch grabbed her arm and started dragging the naked elf towards the door, "At least let me get my knickers on! **Alistair** is out there!" she shouted hoping to deter the wily Witch. Sadly her pleas landed on deaf ears as Morrigan began opening the door. She started pulling on the elf's arm harder, "Oh this is absurd!"

Morrigan suddenly released her grip, causing the mage to land flat on her rump as the Witch nudged the latch on the door closed. The dark haired woman turned, looking exceedingly smug down at the elven woman as she rubbed her wrist, "Hurry and get dressed then, can't keep mother waiting!"

Tess determined there was an _evil_ spring to the Witch's step as she moved over to the hearth. The elven woman rubbed her wrist, looking the other way, scanning the area around the bed for her things, "Now, where are my-"

_**Smack!**_

She was cut off as something large and heavy collided with the back of her head.

"Oh dear," it was terrible just how _good_ the wilds mage was at fake sympathy, "T'would seem your things have found you…"

The white haired mage removed herself from under her rucksack and just glowered at the sneering Witch, but grabbed her things and got dressed nonetheless. As she fastened the final clasp on her robes she turned back towards Morrigan, a skeptical glare in her eyes, "I'll get you for that, one day, you know," and she made her way to the door.

The with could only roll her eyes, doubting she would ever see the tiny Warden-mage, nor her bumbling companion, ever again. Therefore, the little woman's threats were meaningless to the 'Witch of the Wilds', but she shrugged nonetheless as she turned back to her stew pot, "I'm sure you will…"

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><p><strong>AN:** for some reason, this whole Tess being naked around Morrigan has become a weird meme... or just her being naked period, but with the whole being around Morrigan is just funny, because she doesn't give a damn about a naked female XD

the next one is already in teh notebook... just trying to finish it :3 but that takes time and etc etc etc... hehe

comments, question, opposing view? (Review)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	6. Moments

**A/N:** yay! i gets to put another one out for this :D

hrm, not much response for the last one, which is funny because this story gets like the most hits yet the least reviews T.T -sadness- anywho, thanks for those that do review :3 spread the word, so my faith may be brought to the heathens!

-cough- i mean... o.O

Well here's a bit of an odd one, i actually have no 'story' for this one other then i was sitting at work balancing a pen on my nose and started running these funny conversations i 'wish' i had with Sten, remember i would have loved to have him as a romance option, but while writing this i was using wikia to study up my Qunari, since most of its revealed in DA2 and i only have origins... and reading more i realize just how 'impossible' that would be... good on you bioware, making a character we 'want' but logically can't have... T.T -sadness-

so without further ado...

Enjoy!

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><p>'Moments with Sten'<p>

On the Road…

It had been a few days since they had left Lothering and the group was headed towards the Bracillian Forest to speak with the Elves there. It had been a normal day, wake up, go scouting, kill Darkspawn, finagle with the dwarves that followed them, watch as Morrigan tormented Alistair while Leliana teased him, Bal eventually running in and attempting to tackle the witch only to get blasted with a cone of cold… the usual. Whilst the team was up to their normal joviality in staving off the boredom between Darkspawn battles, Tess, their de facto mini-leader, had wandered towards the back of their little ragtag team. The tiny elf warden had come to notice that while the 'other' members of her team had started to… even saying '_get along_' sounded like a stretch, but at least they were 'communicating' was one way of putting it, she had noticed that the remaining member of their party, Sten the Qunari, always remained silent, vigil, never quite putting his guard down or relaxing, even though most of the time he wasn't scouting since he was one of the few that could carry all their camping gear… the other being Morrigan in her giant spider form, but convincing the witch to undertake such a task and 'wasting magic' on something so 'trivial' was harder than just asking the stoic semi-giant.

So Tess drifted to the back, where the white haired large man was galumphing behind them, keeping them within sight but staying apart as necessary. Tess had to admit the man knew his way around a sword, especially on the battlefield, and he seemed educated enough from what little… _very_ little she could coax out of him in speech. It was probably his eyes that told her he had a brain behind them, since they were always watching them, especially her. Like they were now.

Crystalline eyes narrowed at the violet ones keened on her, "is there something on my face, Sten?"

He gave that dismissive grunt she was starting to recognize as his 'answer' to most everything, she wondered if it was supposed to mean the answer was obvious or not, "Why would you ask that?"

"You keep staring at me," the little elf-mage said flatly, her ears tilting back slightly as her eyes garnered a bored expression.

Another grunt, dismissive, "keeping an eye on you…"

A white brow piqued slightly, "There a reason you need to keep an eye on _me_ specifically?"

Derisive grunt, "You are… different…"

Tess blinked, not feeling the need to dignify that with a response.

The Qunari stared deeper at the little mage, leaning down slightly looming into her bubble, "You are… not …"

White brow rose again as she leaned slightly back, " 'not' what?"

He straightened, "A beast…" he said dismissively, straightening up, and looking back at the road, walking past their curious leader.

"Huh?" white brows furrowed as she tilted her head like a confused dog, stopping a moment to stare at the Qunari's back, "What's that mean?"

"_Pashara…_" was his response, and the little white-haired mage had gotten it enough to understand it meant the end of the conversation.

"By the… Arugh!" she fisted her hands at her sides and growled in frustration. So much for being the 'social' leader. Beast indeed, hmp. She gripped her staff in frustration and moved forward, continuing on the road like everyone else…

Completely ignoring as Bal ran past her yelping with his little backside looking like it wanted to tuck his snub of a tail between his legs as a swarm of angry insects chased him, occasionally several of the swarm reaching out to swat the dog, causing yet another yelp as he ran up and down the road with it chasing him. Alistair was openly laughing at the Mabari, while Leliana looked worried. Morrigan was _conveniently_ absent from the scene, garnering a raised white brow from their leader.

T'was another day on the road.

* * *

><p>Outside Camp…<p>

It had been a few days into their 'walk' towards the Bracillian Forest, and a day or two since the little elf-mage had attempted speech with the Qunari. It turned out that Morrigan was capable of transforming into more than just a 'giant scary spider', Alistair's words, and had apparently gotten into a funk about tormenting Bal in the form of a swarm of bees. How she could maintain sanity as a _swarm_ of maker-loving _Bees_ was anybody's guess. But the concept had piqued their white-haired leader's interest, and after several grueling conversations (Morrigan being the one to call any form of communication that didn't involve her making someone 'cry' grueling) and widely spread amusement, Tess had somehow convinced the Witch of the Wilds to teach her a bit of shapeshifting. (It really wasn't that hard, she just had to say she was 'interested' and something along the lines of 'sticking it to the Tower' and Morrigan was amused enough to let her try and hurt herself.)

So, day two on the 'attempt to turn into… _something_ without hurting herself' commenced…

"Come on," the little elf was gripping her fists in front of her, slightly hunched, with both eyes closed and her tongue sticking out in concentration, "Hmm…" before springing her entire body out, "From of… GAINT BEAR!" she wiggled her fingers as an added effect…

Morrigan sighed deeply and put her head in her hand, "At first this was an amusing idea, but seeing as you've yet to grasp transforming… _period_, I find this vastly unappealing by the moment…" the Witch stared at her warden 'student' with something along the lines of boredom and distain.

Alistair and Leliana were sitting on the sidelines eating jerky and cheese, waiting for the aforementioned 'amusement' the Witch has promised.

Bal quietly whined to himself as he sat nervously looking around for sudden swarms of rampaging insects.

"Mmhmp… This… mmp… isn't… hmp… nearly…" Alistair took a moment between speaking through a hunk of cheese he was currently devouring to take a swig of water, nearly choking as he hit himself on the chest and the bard patted him on the back. With a heaving gasp he continued his sentence, "As amusing as you promised it would be…" he glowered at the Witch.

Her bored expression didn't move the slightest, "T'is your problem," she waved her hand dismissively, "Shapeshifting is no easy art, to completely lose sense of self and take on another form is something most people find incomprehensible…" when she looked at the Templar and Bard and the absent looks both were giving her the witch rolled her golden eyes, "No point explaining to those who'll never use it…" she crossed her arms in a huff, deigning to ignore the 'wonder' duo.

"Hmp," came a deep throated grunt from the other side of the clearing.

A black brow piqued, "Something the matter, Qunari?"

He gave that derisive grunt, his arms crossed over his chest as he sat up straight, violet eyes watching the mages carefully, "Losing oneself is hardly a task worthy of note…"

"Oh?" the witch turned towards the seated semi-giant, ignoring that their Warden leader was trying yet again, with that stupid line she kept giving, "Tell then, giant, what is? Hmm?" she coked her head back at the group, "They've no means to do so, yet I can with ease, T'is hardly something to not consider… _difficult_."

Sten shifted, making that growling again, "Its easy for you…"

As much as it bored Morrigan to attempt conversation with someone that gave barely full sentences for answers, his mannerisms and speech brought an odd curiosity to her, "An why's that?"

Those violet eyes narrowed, suddenly a trained killer on his prey, "You are a beast…"

To a normal person that would have come as an insult, but to Morrigan, Witch of the Wilds and Daughter of Flemeth, it was practically a compliment. The Witch's mouth cracked into a sinister grin, spreading slowly to show her teeth as her golden demon eyes gained a new light in them, "Indeed I am…"

A sudden round of 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' followed by a long drawn out howl caught both Qunari and Witch's attention. Hesitant to turn first, both 'adversaries' turned in tandem, just as Bal whipped past the Witch fluttering her leather skirt and bowling over Alistair and started circling… _something_ that had caught all their attentions.

Morrigan's eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance, she hadn't expected the little Warden to pick up anything within the first few days. She openly sighed, dropping all offensive pretense, crossing her arms and started over to her 'student', throwing over her shoulder lightly, "Coming, or are you too proud to walk with this 'Beast'?"

She heard that tell-tale dismissive grunt and the heavy shifting of armor as the large man rose to his feet. Not long and his feet were following hers.

"By Andraste, I can't believe she did it?" was Leliana's jovial voice as they two stepped closer.

"Hmm, couldn't turn into something… I dunno, more useful?" was Alistairs as he picked himself up with his hand cocked on his hip and the other going through his hair.

There comments piqued the witch's interest, what was it that their little leader had become? From what the twit said it sounded like it wasn't any form of 'combative' animal, and since she couldn't see it from her previous position it obviously wasn't that large. "Hmm…" was all she could think as she stepped between the red-head and the strawberry blonde, arms still crossed and a look of contemplation on her dark features. The other two scuttled back, putting up no resistance as the witch stepped forward.

Bal was sitting in front of her, she scowled, "Move beast…"

The large Mabari cocked his head over his shoulder, panting heavily before tilting his ears back and letting out a long whine.

The witch narrowed her gold eyes at him and the dog graciously backed away, giving the wilds mage full view of what their 'fearless leader' had become. A black brow rose as her eyes blinked with astonishment, of all the things…

A bird.

A white bird.

The Witch's brow rose higher, it was no species she knew, far too small for a swan, too large for a dove, plus it had a beak similar to a hawk and talons to match, but its body was too slender, too narrow and its head larger, those beady black eyes of its too observant as it blinked at her.

"A barn owl," the voice reverberated behind the witch, causing her to tilt her head back over her shoulder to look 'up' at the Qunari. His eyes were flat, almost calm as he stared at the small white bird.

The witch's eyes narrowed, "Don't you mean a snow owl?" she'd seen owls, watched them as they hunted in the night for their prey, silent effective hunters.

A dismissive grunt was her response, "They're bigger," the large man stepped forward, crouching down and reaching a hand out to the creature. It flitted back a moment, raising its wings as if to puff up itself at what was approaching it. The Qunari didn't move, staying still and offering no retreat or threat to the small bird, merely waiting for it.

The Witch raised a brow, she vaguely remembered her first transformation, it was highly disorienting. One moment she was herself, the next she was a small wolf pup with the thoughts and instincts of that pup, and scared out of her wits at the older human woman that approached her. She had growled, snarled and bit back at the woman… only to get beat with a broom and the transformation forcibly ended with her mother scowling down at her in disappointment for letting the mind of an animal take over. The black haired woman clinched her jaw and the memory but the motion was so small no one noticed.

After a few moments the owl flitted, lowering its wings and seemed to 'hop' towards the still hand, leaning over it like the animal it was, inspecting the gloved hand of the large man, even pecking it to see if it would move. Nothing, the Qunari didn't move a muscle, merely waiting for the owl to do as it pleased. After a moments inspection the thing turned its head at a disturbing angle garnering muted responses from the rest of the group, but again no motion from the white haired man. It was curious, that was obvious, and after a tentative hop or two and flitting with its wings, the bird hopped into the man's hand, not disturbed in the least as he slowly rose to his feet with it still standing there in his palm.

Sten turned towards the group, Tess the Owl just standing in his hand, her beady black eyes staring vacantly at the three other people at its level. She blinked, and the Templar and Bard cooed at how adorable she was. Morrigan rolled her eyes, over this display already.

"She's so cute!" Leliana squealed, hand halfway towards the bird but not sure if she should attempt contact.

"I saw these a lot growing up," Alistair said as he leaned in to inspect the white bird closer, "not my particular cup of tea, but they kept the mice away."

"Spent a lot of time in barns did you?" Was Morrigan's half-hearted quip of the day at the Templar.

Alistair turned a childish look at her over his shoulder, "Yes, as a matter of fact," he suddenly had that stupid grin on his face, "Where else would the Dogs of Redcliffe keep me?"

The witch rolled her eyes, already over the conversation, "Yes, and I suppose if given the chance you'd go back to the dogs, enjoying you're mucking and groveling…"

He gave the cheeky-bastard grin, "You know me so well," she rolled her eyes a step away from ignoring him, like the others were to the both of them. Alistair turned back to their leader in the form of a small nocturnal bird, scratching his chin, "Though, I don't get why anyone would want to be an owl?" he tilted his head, speaking his thoughts openly before even thinking about it, "I'd rather be dog, I know that's what I'd turn into if I could…"

The minute twitch that encompassed Morrigan's entire body went entirely unnoticed by the group save the black eyes of a little white bird. –_A dog?_- her eyes narrowed, glowering at her own thoughts when she reminded herself that her first had been a _**wolf**_.

Bal barked loudly, garnering the Qunari to lower the bird to his level. The large dog wiggled his nose at the tiny white bird that smelled like his master, it opened its wings puffing itself up and backing away slightly. He let out a grunt and the bird seemed to relax slightly, lowering its wings marginally while moving its head around like a pinwheel. The war dog barked and the owl screeched in response.

The amusing result was that everyone else had to cover their ears, none of them prepared for such a sound from the tiny barnyard avian.

"By the maker!" Alistair twitched with his hands over his ears, the others giving similar responses.

A black brow twitched on the witch's forehead, "T'is enough of this, change back already!" she gripped her staff in one hand, the other trying to loosen the ringing in her ears from the screech from the tiny animal. She pointed her staff at the bird, fully intent on forcibly turning her back knowing full well how much more painful it was to do it that way, but also knowing that if the little elf was stuck in the mindset of the animal she wouldn't even realize she _could_ turn back.

A growl was her response, "Let her try," they all turned to Sten, still holding the tiny bird in his hand, the other dealing with the ringing in his ears. There was a battle of wills as Morrigan's golden eyes narrowed on his violet ones, both completely ignoring the other two and dog. Her staff was still held out at the ready, fully prepared to do its intended task, yet… for whatever reason the glare the Qunari was sending made her pause, not hesitate, just pause. Waiting. As if given the time the diminutive little elf in the form of an owl would figure out what she needed to do…

The owl took flight, completely ruining the tense atmosphere.

"Huh?" was Alistair's intelligent response.

"She took off?" said Leliana as the group of them followed the little white thing as it traversed the air over their heads.

The white owl circled over their heads a moment, garnering a frown from the Witch of the Wilds and that continued blank stare from the Qunari. Then as if deciding something the bird took off in a direction, settling down soundlessly some feet behind Morrigan, all eyes trailing her. For a moment the bird seemed to just hop around, like it was looking for something, and just as Morrigan was raising her staff again a familiar light enveloped it. The light grew and expanded and took on the shape of a person, and in mere moments where once was a tiny white owl, was not the familiar form of their tiny elven leader…

Sans clothing…

There were several strangled sounds as Tess turned around, her crystalline eyes blinked confused at the looks she was garnering from her comrades. Alistair had his mouth slacked with one hand covering his eyes, Leliana was gapping openly with a vibrant blush on her face, Morrigan looked bored, and Sten just blinked. A white brow piqued, "Something I miss?"

"More like something _you're_ missing, yes," chirped the witch as she set her staff down, retaining her bored expression.

"huh?" was Tess' response before something about how chilly it felt registered in her brain, glancing down she noticed there was a distinct lack of yellow from her normal robes. A furious blush made its way on the young Warden's face as her hand jumped to cover the appropriate places and her head popped up with an extremely startled look, "Bal!"

Faithful as always, the Mabari made a grunting sound as he raced past the witch and stunned comrades, something distinctly yellow in his maw. The large dog plopped down in front of his master, 'handing' her her vestments, stub tail wagging as his large body formed enough of a barrier that the elf felt comfortable enough to get dressed. She knew Morrigan didn't give a Maker's sodden care about her being in the nude, but was pretty sure the other's hadn't seen it before, and well, in all honesty Tess preferred some level of 'decency' amongst her peers… Morrigan didn't count.

So, quickly re-robed she turned around to see that Sten had taken up place in front of the two humans like a living wall, his back to her thankfully. Looking slightly to his left she realized he must have realized Morrigan didn't count either, as the witch looked exceedingly bored standing by herself. Patting down her robes she started in an embarrassed voice, "I-it's safe now…"

Peeking over his shoulder, Sten's violet eyes were the first she saw…

Then…

Something fleshy and red attached itself to her sides, shaking her with the force of a giddy school girl, when the sparkles left her eyes Tess looked up to see that it was Leliana, sparkles in her eyes and jabbering on about something, "-that was amazing, I've never seen something like. You should try it more often, you looked so good-" registering words seemed to become a futile affair as the diminutive elf just let the human woman go on and on about whatever she was so excited about.

"Well, that was sort of interesting," was Alistair's side comment as he scratched the side of his face, stepping closer to their leader, inadvertently landing right next to the Witch.

"Yes, of course it was, seeing a naked woman like that appear out of nowhere, you may want to watch yourself, sudden desires involving _swords_ and _sheathing_ may commence," while her voice sounded bored, there was a light _evil_ smirk in the Witch's eyes as the Templar twitched and gapped at her.

"By the maker!" he twitched more, "What is wrong with you witch!"

A small smirk picked at the edge of her lips, "oh nothing, nothing, just a reminder about _saucy fantasies_ and the like," she crossed her arms and looked smug as the Templar became increasingly uncomfortable, "this scenario just reminded me is all…"

"Y-you're mad woman," was his feeble come back.

It only garnered a sinister grin on the Witch's lips.

It seemed Leliana had calmed down some, since she was no longer shaking the catatonic little elf-mage, "You'll have to do it again sometime," Tess seemed to blink back into the world of the living as the bard spoke, "Though I do have a curiosity," the red-head smiled bashfully, "Wha-what was it like?"

Crystalline eyes blinked absently, before the turned away from the bard deep in thought, "hmm… how can I describe it," those blue eyes caught on something of similar color and looked up at the clear sky, "It was like… walking in the sky…"

The red-head piqued an eyebrow, not quite understanding what the little elf had said, but before she could question any further a shadow passed over the two, causing them to look up at the Qunari.

Sten stood barely a foot from the two women, his violet eyes staring solely at the white-haired mage. For a moment they were simply burrowing into her, stern, cold, calculating…

Before that dismissive growl left his lips, "_Pashara…_"

Tess smiled widely at him, and he walked past her back to their camp.

* * *

><p>At Camp…<p>

"Sooo…" the little voice crept over to the Qunari as he sat with eyes closed by the large fire in the middle of their camp. Slowly he cracked his eyes open, finding their tiny leader on the other side just staring at him. For a good long moment he didn't move.

Then he blinked, "What do you want?"

Her ear twitched as she leaned forward on her arms, "I wanted to know what you meant," her eyes leaned down a moment, curious and somewhat modest, "I heard what you said to Morrigan the other day, and I remember what you told me…" it had been a day since the whole 'shapeshifting' attempt, Morrigan had been… reluctantly… impressed with the elf's progress, though highly disappointed in that she decided to turn into something so ineffective in battle. (Voiced loudly as, "Such a waste of magic to become something that can't even defend itself properly in battle… there's nearly no point at all except to fly away or become someone's dinner…")

Sten nodded and affirmative grunt, closing his eyes again.

The little white haired mage looked down at the distance between her and the fire, "What's the difference?"

No response.

She glanced up a moment before back down, kicking a rock, "We're both mages, sure Morrigan comes from a much… _wilder_ background, what with her mother and all…" still no response, "I mean I'm from the tower, but…" she shrugged, "its not like I've _always_ agreed with their methods… especially," her voice lowered a fraction, a shimmer of something hidden coming to her eyes, "With how I left and everything…"

There was a grunt from across the fire.

The white-haired elf's head perked up, "Sten, what do you have against mages?" the question was loaded, she knew that, but she figured might as well say it flat out then dancing around the issue all night, "I've noticed you watch Morrigan and I most," she put a finger to her chin in thought, "at first I thought it was just you trying to get one of us woman, but you never even so much as glanced at Leliana, and she'd been the one to vote against letting you free…"

"With good reason," was his mumbled response, eyes still closed so it wasn't like it could be considered a 'real' response.

A tan ear twitched, "and you always just pass over Alistair like he's not worth your time," there was definitely a derisive grunt as a response to that, "And I've seen you 'play' with Bal…"

"That is practice," she couldn't tell, but it definitely sounded like a little 'huff' in his voice, "between two warriors."

Tess could tell the Qunari had a lot of respect for what he considered 'true warriors' and while Alistair was apparently a joke in the giant's opinion, Bal, her loveable war dog, bred generations upon generations to be a perfect living weapon, was definitely considered one. So the semi-giant would on occasion 'spar' with the Mabari, which Bal completely considered 'play' and she did too.

The little elf propped her face up in both hand, elbows on knees, "So I figured there had to be something else about Morrigan and I that would garner your constant surveillance," she shrugged, closing her eyes and openly sighing, "And with what you said I take it Qunari aren't fond of mages…"

"Mages are animals," he spoke, opening his eyes to stare straight into the fire, "Where I come from Mages are merely beasts in skins of people, monstrous tools of destruction and nothing more…"

A white brow twitched downward as her eyes hardened on the large grey man, "But that isn't here, Mages here are different, we have the tower and Templars to keep everything in order…"

His violet eyes flickered to hers, "That doesn't stop you from being a Mage," he gave that deep sigh almost like a growl, "And loose to power and become those beasts…"

Her white brows started to furrow, anger becoming present in her eyes, "Not all Mages succumb to the 'temptation'," the way she said it made it obvious she was offended, "very few become abominations, and when that happens the Templars… 'handle' them." Her eyes shifted to the ground, it wasn't something many at the tower liked to consider but that didn't mean it didn't happen. At least one out of every ten Harrowings ended with an abomination; one out of every ten apprentices went up those stairs and never came back.

"That isn't good enough," was the Qunari's clipped response.

Succumbing to her anger, Tess shot up to her feet, walked around the fire and looked down on the white haired man, "Then what is, total annihilation?" the fire was obvious in her eyes, glaring at the large man, "You and your people just go around killing all mages, whether they're abominations or not?" the sheer idea of it made her sick, that was even worse than what the chantry had in place…

"They are weapons," he corrected, looking up at the small woman with no emotion on his face, "they are kept bound, for that is all they are good for…"

A white brow rose as Tess stumbled back a step taking in his words, "… so you _have_ mages?"

"The _Saarebas_… yes," he stated, again showing no emotion.

The white haired mage crossed her arms, looking down at the Qunari confused, "But you just said all that about being a 'beast'…"

"_Saarebas_ are bound, kept in control by the _Arvaarad_…" he said with as much inflection as a speck of dirt.

She frowned, "This is very confusing," the little mage closed her eyes as she pressed a hand to her forehead, "That doesn't absolve you of what you said…" one eye cracked open to stare at him, less angry, more resigned and confused, "To Morrigan and myself…"

"She is a beast, a mage with nothing to hold her back…" he said while looking up at her, eyes never leaving her own, "No desire for control, no adherence to attaining it, simply gathering power…"

She lowered her hand, crossing them again, "And me?"

That derisive growl escaped his throat again, "That is to be determined…"

Tess pouted, but left his answer where it lay, another thought coming to mind, "Sten, if you have such distaste for magic," she tilted her head in consideration, "Why did you pick me up when I was an owl?"

He blinked, it was probably the first time Tess had ever seen it without being necessary, "If I can touch it, it is real…"

At first she blinked, then the edge of her lips twitched, and then she snorted, "Well, at least that makes sense," and she openly grinned at the semi-gaint.

He looked away with an uncomfortable grunt, "_Pashaara…_"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** so, reading the 'party conversations' with sten in my 'research' for this, i find probably the best being between him and Morrigan... why? cause honestly i've never, let me repeat, and this suprises even me, **_NEVER_** (appearently) had the two in party together, or just talk to each other, cause i LOVE their dialogue... Morrigan trying to coax him into deviousness by totally mock hitting on him (because i can't see Morrigan 'srsly' hitting on anyone and meaning it...) only for him to turn it around into something like a bondage-sex-talk... all for the lulz...

next time i play, i'm so putting them on a team together... with either Shale or the dog, since both of them have just as much fun conversations...

**Shale**: I wish to say that it has been pleasant fighting at the Qunari's side.**Sten**: I feel the same. You are a remarkable construct, kadan. A warrior to be feared.**Shale**: No more than the Qunari, surely. The way it strikes down its foes, marvelous!**Sten**: I smile each time you roar a battle cry, knowing our foes tremble.**Shale**: I could watch you fight all day long-the skill you display, the form, how the light plays on its muscles... I mean... yes. Well done. With the fighting.**Sten**: You, as well.**Shale**: Right.

i think i may have just found a new OTP... XD as Tobi says, you only need one pannel to ship it :P

well yea, other then that, wikia is fun but no help with the actual 'dialogue' i want, cause i was looking up and down for what 'sten' said during that conversation about mages, and we all know working off my memory isn't that 'good'... but no, saddly, its nowhere, so i had to work with what i got... i just remember him calling mages 'beasts' and being rather derisive about it... then looking at the warden like 'hmm... maybe not you... maybe...'

comments, questions, opposing views... for the love of god, please review... (lol rhyme :D)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	7. When in pt1

**A/N:** Halo...

i'm actually suprised this is the one i update first, of all the stuff i'm working on, and plot-bunnies, this was the only one i've gotten to a managable 'post-able' level, more is coming :P real job sucks, is time consuming, and lacks intarwebz T.T well good one anyway...

so onward!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>'When in Orzammar…' part 1<p>

Orzammar…

The greatest, and last, of the mighty Dwarven cities. The pinnacle of Dwarvan society. The once proud city underground, home to the Dwarven kings, the center of their trade and legendary smithery… also the center of Dwarven politics, Dwarven ale, a nasty underground criminal society, and various –isms involving ones family and birth. The pretentious and prejudice kind of place one expected to find fighting in the streets and an unhealthy level of xenophobia.

"Oh... dear… sweet… Maker!" currently Tess had the forefinger and thumb of her right hand pinching the bridge of her nose as her crystalline eyes stayed firmly shut and her dark tan ears leaned back, "If I have to hear another round of 'Dwarven Politics' in this century it'll be too soon…"

Sten grunted his agreement.

Currently, the 'team', comprising of the dutifully resigned to her fate leader, the stoic though looking obviously 'irritated' by his standards Qunari, a rather warn out old mage teacher, and Alistair were standing outside the door _LEAVING_ what the Dwarves of Orzammar used as the place of 'diplomatic discussion'. Their leader, decked in her favored Juggernaut mail and purposefully sporting Yusaris on her back, took all of two steps down the steps into the diamond quarter and just sighed deeply, "I need a drink…"

"Hmm," came from Wynne, "If I remember correctly there's this nice little shanty down in the commons," the older mage turned towards the shorter elf, placing her hand on the young woman's shoulder, "Had a few good rounds there myself last time I was here…" and the old healer laughed, oh the things back in her day.

Tess' ear twitched as she lowered her hand from her eyes, "I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or grateful…"

The older mage continued laughing, slapping the younger white haired elf on the back, "Oh don't worry about it girl, you'll have fun!"

A crystalline eye twitched, Wynne plus 'fun' didn't sound like anything safe.

Sten stepped up beside their leader as the healing mage went past and headed back towards the commons. A violet eye looked down and the grey skinned giant wasn't surprised to see those crystalline blue under white eyes staring up at him. That familiar growl sigh escaped his throat, "I don't drink."

She continued staring.

The semi-giant fidgeted.

Finally Tess openly sighed, putting her hands on her hips and just started following after Wynne, "Well the least you can be is our 'Designated Walker'," she scratched along her tattooed cheek, "Or something…"

"_Pashara…_" Sten grumbled, but It was obvious he'd be joining the two 'mages' on their drinking outing, after all who else was equipped to handle them _AND_ a rowdy crowd of drunk dwarves?

Alistair, bringing up the rear and being apparently ignored, for now, just threw up his hands in his own frustration. Sure, nobody cared about how _he_ felt…

xXx

"Alright, we're going drinking!" the little white haired elf stated once they found the rest of the group, currently sitting at a table at an inn picking at food.

Morrigan, who for whatever reason happened to be sitting right across from the diminutive mage, blinked, "Why are you telling me?"

A pointed ear twitched, "Figured I should tell somebody."

Again the wilds mage just blinked, looking left, then right, noting Shale standing on one side and Zevran fiddling with his knives on the other, "yes…" She sounded entirely unconvinced there was any real reason behind what the little mage said.

"So," the little white haired mage started, addressing the party, "Wynne, Sten and I are heading over to that bar down the street," she pointed with her thumb over her shoulder, "Just so we know what's going on, that's where we'll be…" she looked across the group, eyes obviously expecting an answer.

It was quiet for a few seconds, as the other party members looked at one another, or more accurately the rogues were smirking at one another, Shale sighed deeply, Bal yawned, and Morrigan looked bored. Behind the elf, on a minor note, Alistair sighed…

"I suppose I could go have a look around," Shale's gravelly voice was the first to break the silence, "Perhaps _away_ from all these gawking eyes," it didn't have to be said that Shale was looking for an excuse to get away from all the stares. As soon as the golem stepped within sight of the Dwarven city they'd been bombarded with questions, gasps, and offers to buy the hulking stone. Shale had solved the 'matter' by hurling a large rock at the gates, releasing a grunt when Tess thanked her for not 'maiming' anyone. The stone's only response had been 'I missed…'

Bal barked.

Tess looked at her war-dog a moment, "I suppose that could work," her gaze returned to the walking stone, "Might as well take Bal for a walk while you're out," when glowing eyes narrowed on the little mage she merely shrugged, "I'd feel more comfortable with you having someone to scare away people…" those eyes narrowed more, the elf coughed, "I mean, for _**their**_ protection, not yours…"

"Spoil sport," was the golem's immediate response, but all it did was lean down to face the large Mabari, "Coming or what, I've not got all day," and it was in the next moment that the hulking steps could be felt leaving the Inn, more than a few Dwarves following the golem out the door only to get barreled over as Bal jumped up happily wagging his stubby tail and howling out in joy at getting a 'walk'.

Tess blinked, "well, that's one group down," when she turned back to the group she noticed the chairs to the Witch of the Wild's right were empty. A pointed ear twitched as she looked flatly at nothing, "And where do you think you're going?" she could hear the stumble as the two rogues flinched on their way out the door.

Immediately Zevran turned heel, taking on a look like he'd not just been 'sneaking' out with Leliana, "My, _Mia Bella_ whatever do you think?" He gave a suave grin, "Leliana and I just thought having a look around the market and perhaps the proving would lighten our spirits, no?" Leliana behind the shorter elf was nodding vigorously along with him.

Crystalline eyes just stared at the obvious rogues flatly, "Riiiiight…" she crossed her arms over her chest, eyes never leaving the two inching towards the door, "this 'walk around' better not include anything like last time…" the two in her sights gave nervous laughs. No body _needed_ to mention anything about the last time they were in a city large enough to have a market. Something involving gold, silver, stolen goods, the castle guard, pantaloons and a grievous 'warning' to never come back didn't need to be repeated in words.

"Of course!" Leliana said all too cheerily, inching closer to the door, "We would _never_ do such a thing… right Zevran?" the redhead looked down at the blonde elf.

He nodded smoothly, "Of course, of course, we would never dream of repeating what happened last time," he waved his hands in front of him disarmingly.

Tess was not convinced.

The two rogues spared each other a look, then in unison raised their hands and opened their mouths as if to make a point… only to quickly turn heel, hide in the shadows, and sneak away out of the sight of their infamous leader.

Tess put her face in her hand and sighed deeply, "I swear… I'm not bailing them out of a Dwarven jail…"

Sten grunted behind her, "From what I've gathered, Dwarves don't have jail…"

A white brow piqued as her eyes glanced to the semi-giant behind her, "Really?"

He nodded.

Wynne rubbed her chin wisely, "If I recall correctly, if you end up making a fool of yourself or do something against the law, the guard generally just attack you on sight…" an _odd_ grin came over the old woman's face, almost nostalgic, "Oh, oh, those were the days…"

Tess stared at her senior mage, her left eye twitched a moment before she waved her hands in front of her, "Don't care, not asking, they can handle themselves…" she said while closing her eyes and nodding firmly. Images of what could have _possibly_ happened back in Wynne's day did _**not**_ need to come to her mind now.

"Hmm," the nearly forgotten Witch hummed to herself in thought, leaning back in her chair, "The market? Perhaps there might be something of interest there…" she said as she slowly got up, grabbing her staff off the back of her chair and turning to leave.

Suspicious blue eyes caught on the witch, "Where are you going?"

Gold eyes turned back briefly, a light smirk in them, "They said there was a market yes?" the little mage nodded, "Then perhaps there will be something of interest or supplies to be used, no telling how long we may be stuck here…"

"Hmm…" a slight amount of suspicion left the white haired mage's eyes, "Suppose…" a white brow rose, skeptically at the wilds mage, "how come you're the one concerned about that?"

Morrigan just stared, bored, "T'is nothing better to do…" she tapped her staff on the ground, almost irritated, "I've no interest in baby-sitting either that living stone, your dog, or those two, and seeing as the rest of you are off to drown in drink, I'd rather spend my time with something more productive…" she rolled her cat like eyes, "If only to have something _better_ to do…"

Tess snickered, "Well, if you feel that way," there was something devious in the little Warden's eyes, and Morrigan only caught on to what it was when the little elf turned back and addressed their last party member, "Oh Alistair…"

That grin only grew as the witch fidgeted.

"Hmm," the not-Templar came back into the conversation, finding the spot on the wall more interesting than listening to what everyone _else_ was going to do, "Something the matter?"

"Yeess," those crystal colored eyes held mischief indeed, "Something indeed is the matter," that devil of a smirk just grew on the little mage's face as she could feel Morrigan's magic bristling under her skin, obviously irritated with what she was about to do, "We need some… '_supplies'_," behind her she could hear Wynne cover up a snicker, "And since everyone else is 'out', I thought you could help us with that…"

"Oh," Alistair was obviously more interested in the dust in the air, but shrugged and resigned himself to what their leader had in mind, he wasn't particularly interested in having a repeat of the last time he'd joined the two former-circle-mages' on a night of drinking gaiety. One instance of streaking, being chased by guards, and fined for indecency was enough for him, thank you very much, "Suppose it needs doing, who else is going?" if anything he wasn't stupid, after that one time Leliana nearly got jumped by former 'colleagues' of hers, Tess didn't let any of them go around on their own, it was simply a matter of who was left…

A hand came down on his shoulder, catching his attention he saw this huge grin on their leader's face, and not the 'pleasant' kind either, "Have fun~" and with that her, Sten, and Wynne left; the elder mage holding her stomach as she giggled and the Qunari just shaking his head as he muttered something in his native language.

Frowning as he watched the trio leave the inn, Alistair turned around to see who his 'party member' was going to be. For a moment, after seeing her, his eyes just stared blankly, then his hand met face and he let out a seething breath, "By the Maker…"

Morrigan, who was standing with a similar frown on her face just stared as blankly at him, trying to restrain her bristling magic and irritation of their 'devious' leader. Her arms were crossed and her stance spoke volumes of her mood, "T'is not what I perceived when I thought to do something _useful_ with my time…"

Alistair's head rose only the slightest at the 'miffed' tone in the witch's voice, one open eye following her through his fingers as she crossed passed him, arms still crossed and still scowling, "This _wasn't_ your idea?" she paused only a moment to give him a look, to which he raised his arms defensively, "hey, hey, for once I agree with you…"

"Hmp," the witch sneered, turning back forward and continuing on her path, "T'is a first for everything I suppose," as she made it to the door she registered the lack of clanking, clumsy footfalls following her, confused, a black brow rose as she looked at the strawberry blonde over her shoulder, "Are you coming, or do I have to explain to out _vaulted_ Leader that you slipped on a rock and cracked your head open?"

Alistair gave her a pouting scowl, walking right up to her, glaring directly into her golden eyes before walking out the door before her, throwing over his shoulder, "Because yes, I would trip without _you_ to watch me…"

Despite herself, and thankfully he was stomping off ahead of her, the Witch of the Wilds smirked at his frustration, "As long as we're on the same page," she uncrossed her arms, taking her staff in one hand and using it like a walking stick, that smirk not leaving her devious features as she followed the man out.

xXx

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Leliana's voice broke through the uproars of the crowd as the two rogues sat close to the back of the proving stands, looking at a 'map' Zevran had 'aquired' on their way there. The bard looked around for good measure, not liking the feeling of being watched crawling across her shoulders.

"We'll be fine," the blonde elf said suavely, eyes engrossed in the map, "_Mia Bella_ will have no idea what we're doing," he marked an 'X' on a certain area, "and we'll be in and out before anyone notices, and back before she has the thought to question us…"

"That's what you said last time," the red head gave the male elf a narrow eyed glare. True, Leliana had 'given up' her old life as a part of her vows when becoming a Lay Sister… but that seemed like the end of it when she joined the group as their, at the time, only _Rogue_, meaning the only person that could pick locks, sneak around, and essentially get intel their adorable little leader needed. With the arrival of Zevran, she had _thought_ her days of that would be over, and she could go back to following her vow… the demented little male elf had _other_ ideas. She couldn't quite remember how this 'arrangement' had started, but in just about every city they passed through the two of them would pull some kind of 'heist', usually garnering them small things they could fence to help with their 'meager' allowance. It was only the last two times that had been botched badly that Tess realized it and started watching them like a mother hawk, threatening them creatively to not 'get in trouble again'… she never bluntly told them to _stop_ all together, just not get caught, at least that's how the two Rogues were interpreting her lectures and reprimands.

The male elf 'hmm'ed as he marked another 'X' on the map, "this plan is fool-proof," the look the bard gave the assassin told him how much she believed that, especially since he said that _exact_ line _last time_. Zevran rolled his light eyes, folding up the map and tucking it away in his breast pocket, "Trust me," the way he said that, along with the grin made the human woman do anything but, "It's a simple job, no one should be around, especially with the Proving going on, and there's no chance of traps…"

Leliana huffed, crossing her arms and sitting back in her chair, placing one foot on the back of the seat in front of her, "This better work…" she gave him a side glance, "Or I'm telling Tess about the time at Calenhad…"

The male elf became visibly nervous, "So cruel…"

Leliana couldn't help it, watching the cocky assassin quiver brought out the worst in her, exemplified by a grin that would have made Morrigan proud.

xXx

Shale had made it down the street before the flocking throng of dwarven admirers became large enough to block its path. The golem released what sounded like a sigh, something akin to two large boulders grinding on each other, before she stared at the throng, "Leave it be, else I'll be forced to smash the lot of you…"

"Oh by the stone! It spoke!"

"I can't believe this, a golem, here in our city!"

"It talks, amazing!"

Again that grinding sound as Shale put its head in its hand, closing glowing eyes and rubbing its temple like it would alleviate some pain, "Why It would let me out into this madness…"

A large bark caught the attention of the sighing Golem and adoring crowd.

When Shale looked down, it noticed the Mabari hunched, standing in front of it, growling and appearing fierce between stone and the crowd. While Bal's display threw off many of the present dwarves, many being nobles and not really fighters, those of the warrior caste weren't so easily swayed by the 'giant nug' as some called him. This only caused Bal to bark louder and bare his fangs more.

Shale smirk, "Hmhmhm…" the golem gave a slight chuckle, "I suppose It wasn't so foolish as to send it with," the golem looked at its arm, growing the blue crystals that sparked before turning its glowing eyes back on the crowd, "be wise and heed the beast, less I come next, and I won't be as merciful as it." Throwing out a stony fist, Shale shot several crystals at the base of the front of the crowds' feet, spooking many and causing the majority to run if not back away.

With the remaining crowd fleeing in terror at the construct, Bal sat back on his haunches and gave the dog equivalent of the deep sigh.

"What?" Shale sounded indignant, understanding the Mabari's action.

He gave a grumble and small howl.

The large glowing golem crossed its arms, "I didn't hit any of them…" Bal growled out a response as he glared at the construct over his shoulder. Shale just narrowed its glowing eyes at the squishy beast, "Spoil sport."

xXx

"Follow the Chant of Light, be amazed and bring the word to the people, embrace the Maker and the Maiden's teachings…" a loud voice came to the ears of the erstwhile party heading to the 'shanty' behind him that Wynne had mentioned. Upon hearing a dwarven voice give a rendition of 'Chantry' propaganda the two circle mages immediately stopped, one bewildered, the other curious.

Sten was not pleased to be hearing this… _Blasphemy_, noted best by his none-to-subtle grunt.

"That's just weird," Tess stared at the Chantry robed dwarf. The oddity causing her brain to not register the appropriate information, such as her companion's irritation or the mildly pleased look on her other mage. Her 'odd' thoughts making themselves known and came out long before she registered how weird it sounded, "I didn't know they made priest robes that small…"

The Qunari, momentarily ignoring his irritation at this blasphemous religion that challenged the '_Qun_', stared at his leader. True, he shouldn't have been surprised; especially after all the things he'd seen '_distract_' his diminutive leader before, but still... always something with her.

Wynne on the other hand just blinked, looked at the little Elf who was currently tilting her head in honest confusion, and laughed lightly. Of all the things… the older woman smirked, "That's what you've got to say to someone trying to bring the Chant to his culture?"

"It's just so weird," the angle of Tess' head increased, "I mean I've seen that robe on men bigger than me, women too, all usually bigger than me, so to see it shrunk down on something stubby, and for once _smaller_ then me…" she blinked as if in a hypnotic daze, "It looks so _off_…"

The elder mage put her hand to her forehead and just sighed with a light laugh.

Sten grumbled, crossing his arms, "That man shouldn't be spreading such lies, there is only one _true_ path…"

Wynne was the one that caught his words, their leader only twitching an ear in their direction, "I've heard about your _Qun_, it doesn't sound like a very pleasing path to me…"

Violet eyes stared at the senior mage, his permanent scowl never leaving his face, "It is not meant to be '_pleasing_', the true path is meant to cleanse the soul and provide guidance to those that know nothing…"

The older woman huffed, crossing her arms still looking towards the chanting dwarf, "There are many ways to find the 'right' path, one way works for some, another works for others…"

Sten grumbled again, looking away, "They are blind," a reverberating sound came through his chest at his displeasure at being unable to _convince_ the older tower-mage, "When the _Arishok_ comes they will either learn or-"

"Be killed?" the older woman finished for him, sparing him a frowning glance, "That close mindedness is the reason many flee in terror of the on-coming _tide_…"

"They should fear, for unless they accept the _true_ path-" he growled…

"Who's to say _your_ path is the _true_ path, why not the _Chant_ be it?" The old woman countered…

"_**HEY!**_" both turned towards their leader, not realizing that in their 'debate' they'd turned and started arguing face-to-face. Both looked puzzled at the sight of their shorter leader, an odd smirk on her tattooed face, "As much as I _love_ listening to a philosophical debate over 'who's idea beats who's', I just talked to the weird midget priest," she pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the dwarven priest, who waved smiling at the odd group, "and he asked if I could talk to the Shaper about him building a Chantry down here, to _'spread the word of Light_' to his people…"

"You can't be serious-" "That sounds wonderful-" the two said simultaneously. Noticing this, the larger Qunari and elder Mage turned and glared at each other.

Tess blinked, looking dower as her ears tilted down, "Oookay," she looked from one companion and then to the other, knowing that if she said something _'wrong_' here she would piss off one and make the other exceedingly happy… it was only a matter of who she was more _comfortable_ about pissing off. "Hmm," the little Elf thought, placing her chin in her hand, crystalline eyes darting from one to the other as they both kept quietly arguing with their glares, "I think I'll tell the 'Shaper'," she used air quotes, not really sure what the hell a 'Shaper' was other then they needed to talk to them, "to let the guy do what he wants…"

"Thank the Maker," the old woman placed a hand over her heart, warmed by the gesture of her junior mage, knowing well the young woman wasn't particularly 'religious' or 'faithful' but that she still leaned on the side of the chant was ni-

"I think I'll also ask if he knows anything about the _Qun_," she waved her hand dismissively, as if in thought, "Maybe pass around a book or something if he wants…"

While Sten had originally been scowling at the little woman's decision at her continued words it evened out, as close to a 'pleased' look as he was going to get for now.

"You can't be serious?" Wynne huffed as she stared 'down' at the smaller mage.

Tess blinked, knowing her decision wouldn't really make anyone 'happy' but she hadn't expected such _resistance_ from the old healer, "Is it really that bad to spread possibility around?" both her companions before her blinked, quiet for the moment, "As I see it, the little dwarf has been brainwashed by the Chantry," Sten smirked while Wynne looked dowerly at her junior, "but I can't really claim the same, since the Tower _tried_ the same with all of us mages, so my opinion of the Chant is a bit skewed," a white brow on the semi-giant rose while the elder mage looked thoughtfully ashamed, "so I listened to the man, he's honestly convinced that the Chant can help his people, and in these dark days why limit what someone can do?" the two looked at one another, "So I figured, sure, I may not agree with his ideas, and personally I think the Dwarven 'religion'," proper use of air quotes again, garnering weird stares from passing small-people, "about worshiping their ancestors and the Stone they 'come from' is amazing compared to the Chant and sorry Sten, the _Qun_ as well, namely because they don't push it on anyone," now both her companions looked _slightly_ ashamed, it was really hard to tell with Sten. Without realizing it the little Elf's words were spreading across the commons, patrons of the bar behind the 'raving Dwarf' who were leaving or coming stopped a second to listen to the odd looking group, hearing originally an 'amusing' debate between two surfacer 'thoughts' then the littlest of them going on further about the 'mad-dwarf' and respecting their ideas of the Stone. So essentially a 'small' gathering of listening Dwarves surrounded them as Tess continued on her theological debate, making her companions increasingly uncomfortable…

"Furthermore, the fact that the two of you are constantly _arguing_ over who's right and who's wrong doesn't look very well about your 'faith' in your own 'words'," again air quotes as Tess looked at both of them honestly. She respected their beliefs, listening to long tales on each side, knowing the Chant significantly better than the _Qun_ for obvious reasons, and the fact that Sten didn't like to 'explain' much about anything, but she saw merit in what they thought, as she did with what the Dwarves originally thought as well. She held her chin in her hand and looked serious, "I think that if anyone wants to _find_ the _true path_ they will get their eventually, no matter which one that ends up being, in the end we all find the Maker, Stone, whatever the Qunari see in death, or the Nature spirit the Dalish seek, I just think it's easier if everyone has a chance to at least 'find' that information easily…"

"I suppose you're right," Wynne said in a thoughtful tone, "if someone comes to the Chant willingly they're more likely to learn it better…"

Sten grumbled next to her, "So many will be lost because of this," he glowered down at his diminutive leader, "But I suppose, if they were to come to the _Qun_ willingly… less blood shed would be necessary…"

Tess smiled openly at her companions, somehow finding a strange equilibrium between them…

Then a raucous roar of the crowd around them announced their presence…

"By the Stone, what a sight!" "To think a surfacer would defend us against other surfacers…" "May her ancestors be praised!" "The Grey Warden certainly knows her stuff, respecting our station as such…" and the praise went on and on as just about each and every dwarf that passed wanted to make some comment about the 'bigger' elf and her little tirade to her companions. Even the little 'weirdo-in-the-robe' that she'd spoken to earlier while her companions were arguing came up and shook her hand vigorously, thanking her for seeing things the way he did, only to be pushed aside as other dwarves did the same.

Tess could only blink, surprised at the praise, even more so that she'd even had a crowd, she hadn't thought much of her words, only trying to stay on seemingly 'good terms' with her companions while 'helping' someone else out in their endeavor. After all, it was her opinion that in times like this, why stunt anyone's views? Thanks to the Archdemon and its horde they were all close to whatever abyss lay before them, it wasn't really the time to be squabbling or limiting anyone else when tomorrow they could be the one defending your back against a darkspawn horde.

"Uh," was her only response as she numbly nodded to each and every one that passed. After a while she looked back at her companions, crystalline eyes pleading for some kind of help.

The two looked at her, looked at each other, and in their own way smirked at her misfortune since it wasn't very often their 'fearless leader' was thrown in some situation she needed to be bailed out of before muscling themselves to either side of her, shooing more dwarves out of the way.

"Didn't you say something about a drink?" the older woman grinned widely grabbing Tess' left arm.

"Yes," came a rumble to her right, "Something about needing to unwind," the little woman openly blushed in embarrassment as the Qunari grabbed her right arm.

For a moment the little elf mage opened her mouth to respond, only for another chorus of shouts to be heard as suddenly the entire crowd moved towards the 'Shanty', dragging her and her companions in. Somehow the little sea of mini people had picked up her and Wynne and were carting them towards the bar while Sten refused to be picked up in all the gaiety, though he did carry a light smirk on his lips at the joviality as he waded his way to the bar as well.

Needless to say, the first couple rounds were on the house…

xXx

"Was that really necessary?" an angry male voice spoke into the witch's ear.

"T'was what _really_ necessary?" she looked bored as she paused and glanced through a stall's goods.

Alistair put his hands on his hips and frowned at the 'woman' before him, "That back there," he pointed over his shoulder at a smithy where he was sure that if he strained his ears he could hear the sounds of a poor dwarven girl crying, "being so cruel and shunting that girl's dreams…"

"I only spoke the truth," she picked up some random herb, inspecting it for some deficiency, "Dwarves are inherently incapable of connecting with the fade, either from their blood or by the constant exposure to lyrium," she made a face, finding something wrong with the over dried thing and put it back trying to find something a bit more 'fresh', "T'is impossible for her to be any sort of 'Mage' if she wanted to…"

The not-Templar cross his arms, still scowling at the wilds mage, "It still wasn't necessary to go calling her father in and telling him his daughter was harassing you and overall crazy…"

"I believe the words I used were 'She's addled by lyrium overdose, best send her back to whence she came'," The Witch smirked at her own joke, still finding nothing suitable to her standards for making 'proper' potions.

"Still," Alistair frowned, finding little to argue about with the Witch. It was with great distaste that he had… _agreed_ with the woman, the girl was 'crazy' to think she could go to the tower and learn to be a mage, Dwarves were incapable of being mages, that was a known fact. No, what bothered him was the _way_ the Witch of the Wilds had handled to sudden impromptu encounter with the mage-obsessed girl, immediately blowing her off with a scowl and informing her father she was 'damaged'. He couldn't help but wonder how their 'fearless leader' would have handled such a situation, knowing she'd probably make some detour to the tower only to get told she was nuts and overall wasting more of their time, but still… "Tess would have handled that a bit more gently…"

"Hmp," there was a distinct dismissiveness in that sound, and something else the not-quite-Templar could quite place, "Knowing _her_, we'd be off gallivanting back to the Tower, only for her to somehow convince them letting a dwarf, with no magical ability, to study there as some crazy, nonsensical means to 'bring us all together in peace and harmony'," Morrigan nearly growled as she spoke, using odd hand-gestures Alistair started to realize she only did when angry at a perpetual irritant, namely their erstwhile leader, "and _**somehow**_ that will benefit us later against the Archdemon in some fantastical way only _SHE_ knows about," by the end of her little tirade the witch was obviously fuming.

For a moment, a very small moment, Alistair was tempted to treat the woman glaring holes into the stall in front of her like a 'normal' person and place his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Knowing this was a mistake, and this was _Morrigan_ he was thinking about he thought better of the gesture and just shrugged, any thoughts of 'comforting' the ranting witch thrown out in lieu of the normal suspicion between then, "Spent a lot of time pondering on this have we?"

Feeling as if some rightful order had been restored the Witch of the Wilds just glared in front of her, scaring the stall owner, and crossed her arms below her partially revealed chest, "More than you'd care to know…"

An… '_odd_' silence passed between the two as the stall owner moved away, chattering about some other nonexistent customers.

Looking flatly ahead of him, and not understanding why the silence between them was both 'comforting' and 'creepy' Alistair cleared his throat and spoke up, "You know she's going to be talking to that girl tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," the Witch said flatly, ignoring the entire atmosphere, "and T'is another waste of our time ahead of us!" she flung her arms in the air exasperated, turning and moving along to another stall.

A weird smirk made it across the not-Templar's face as he turned and watched the woman skulk off to another distraction. There were times, few and far between, that he admitted to himself it was 'fun' to just watch the Witch wonder around with a permanent scowl on her face, something about making her angry was just too amusing. It was probably because it meant she didn't 'win' this time, or maybe because when she was _really_ angry she was more animated, more emotional, more… _something_ that he at times found amusing. He'd never say this out loud, because that would imply that his constant bantering, arguing and overall disagreeable disposition with the woman was somehow on purpose just to make her angry, because he _liked_ seeing her angry. That wasn't true, at first he just hated her, still did but something about always, _**always**_arguing, talking, skulking, and any other means of dis-pleasurable conversation with the woman had resulted in a weird if extremely strained understanding. She was who he brooded at, he was who she ranted at, and somewhere in between the two just argued or sat in an oddly 'comfortable' silence, these times usually involved some machinations from their diminutive leader, like now…

Alistair walked up as quietly as he could behind the shorter black haired woman. He could tell by her tense shoulders she was still bristling at the prospect of whatever 'tomorrow' would bring from their 'crazy' leader, but at her in-acknowledgement of his presence, normally in insult form, his curiosity was piqued. What had her attention enough to ignore a glaring opportunity to call him 'stupid' or 'loud'? Leaning over her shoulder and following her line of sight as much as possible the man noticed what she was currently staring at.

"A mirror?" he said without thinking to their proximity. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the woman shift a little, could feel her magic spike under her skin and if he didn't know any better that torch behind the stall owner just flared with a hint of elemental magic. He cocked a strawberry blonde brow, not taking his eyes off the gold faceted thing garnering the witch's immediate attention, "Didn't really see you as the type to fancy such things…"

There was a scoff as Morrigan grudgingly closed her eyes and turned away from the man leaning over her shoulder, neither made any mention of how close they just were, "I've no idea what you're talking about…"

"Reeaally?" His light eyes followed her as the black-haired woman purposefully walked away from the stall to the next one. He spared the object of her attention one last glance, piquing a brow and trotting after her, "Morrigan, terrible Witch of the Wilds, caring about her appearance?" he looked her up and down just to be an ass, grinning as he came back up finding her golden demon eyes glaring at him with sharp daggers at his insinuation, "I'd probably go with a nice fur, or perhaps a shawl to top off the 'wilds' look," a cheeky grin was topped off with odd hand gestures.

A growl seemed to escape the smaller woman's chest as she turned around curtly. He wasn't sure but Alistair could have sworn he hear a curse or two aimed at him leave her lips quietly as she moved down the stalls, trying adamantly to ignore him. _That_ would have been weird, since Morrigan _never_ used conventional insults, on _anyone_.

The strawberry blonde just blinked at his retreating companion, that was weird, no retort, quick insult at his lack of fashion sense, or even a barb at the uselessness of caring about outward appearance at all? After all those times he'd heard the woman sneer at Leliana's obsession with shoes or Zevran's penchant for gold and silver, he makes a comment just _dying_ to be added to the list of putdowns and she walks _away_ from that? Without thinking the young man's feet carried him swiftly into the witch's path.

"What?" was her curt response, stopping herself before running into the nuisance.

Alistair narrowed his eyes, leaned in closely and stared intently at the witch.

Her golden eyes narrowed and glared back, scowl obvious on her face, not liking his invading presence one bit.

"You are Morrigan, right?" the not-quite-Templar made to poke the woman in the shoulder, just to make sure she was in fact standing in front of him.

Her eyes narrowed further, black brows furrowing as she swatted his hand away, "T'is another I should know about, twit?"

A slight smirk passed over the bastard's lips as he let the angry woman pass him, following in step right behind her, "Just thought you were possessed or something," odd hand gestures made as he failed to notice the slight shake in her shoulders, "not coming to take the chance to insult civilized society…"

At this she snorted, his antics and logic bringing an odd joviality to her step, "Didn't seem to need it at the moment," she shrugged, "Though I will keep that in mind, another time perhaps…" she caught his cheeky grin in the corner of her eye, something crawling up her spine and demanding to be said before she had the will to silence it, "T'would really been such a noticeable thing if I were… _possessed_?"

Alistair quirked a brow, not expecting the question, but giving her a look like she should already know the answer, "I don't think a demon would be able to keep _your_ personality down, but in any event," he waved his hand nonchalantly, not noticing the odd look that passed over her eyes at his offhand compliment, "I doubt they could '_pretend_' to be you in any aspect," he gave her a dower look, examining the woman that was scowling openly up at him, as if offended, "They'd probably be '_nice'_, trying to get on our good side, and giving your overall disposition a positive improvement…" he rubbed his chin, staring intently at the woman.

Her gold eyes stared at him flatly under furrowed black brows, "Are you saying being possessed would give me a 'better' disposition?"

He continued to look at her intently, remaining quite for a moment before speaking up, "I'm saying while the others might not notice, I would," he caught the slight widening of her eyes since he was staring directly, if not suspiciously, at her, "The day 'Morrigan, Witch of the Wilds' starts dressing up fancy and having a cheery disposition is the day I put down such an abomination," he narrowed his eyes as if serious as the witch rolled her eyes, sighing deeply and pushing past him, realizing he wasn't taking her question seriously at all. Alistair smirked, in a light way he didn't know why, "I prefer you scowling and hating everything!"

The wilds mage continued skulking away, trying to ignore the moron following her. Of all the stupid things for her to ask…

For once Alistair felt like he'd won an argument with the woman, but something in the back of his mind was telling him to pay close attention. As he trotted up behind the woman he glanced back momentarily at the strange object that had sparked the even stranger conversation. A gold mirror, A simple enough object, and not particularly 'rare' to be found down here in Orzammar, but it had captured the witch's attention, and that was enough to garner his, he made a mental note to remember where it was along with the stand and ask their leader about it later.

As for now, he had pestering to do while Morrigan still went about looking for something useful in the commons stalls…

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** as a line i've been dying to use because its in one of my 'un-posteds' 'Amazingly, this did not involve copious amounts of alcohol' ... yet XD

its funny, because i can picture the before and after interaction of the group perfectly, but for some reason at this point, at Orzamar is fuzzy, course this is the part of the game where i'm always 'ugh, why so looooooonnnggg' and just drag at the dwarven city, but i suppose what also gets down is this is pretty much the part where you've got 'everyone' relatively, and with such a large group, what do they do when they hit a major city?

this, apparently :3

hope you all like, i'm going on vacation soon, so (hopefully) more fun work ahead for me :3

comments, questions, opposing views? (review -.-)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, mina!

-Ikasury


	8. Walls

**A/N:** So here's the funny, apparently i won't be as absent from the universe as i thought, but as soon as my awkward transition works itself out i'll be in the market of either more school or job hunting, one of the which...

as for this, honestly weird idea that hit me last night, probably because of what i'm going through right now, took forever to finish but i think it worked out rather nicely... even though this is totally NOT the half-chappy i have sitting around that i had planned next for this :P

there's no real 'time line' for these little shorts, but i'm sure if you squint you can pick out the pieces of when and where this things 'should' be... plus a few make references to events i haven't written down up here yet, have fun thinking about those while i gather the nerve to write them out fully XD oh giant spiders...

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>A World Without 'Walls'<p>

**Sky**

"Ya know," Tess said as she looked up into the ceiling of the stone room surrounding her and Oghren, "I think I rather like being in an enclosed room," she moved her hands to make the shape of a square while still looking about the ceiling, "Being in a small cage to being outside…"

"Hmp," the older dwarf shrugged, hefting his axe from one shoulder to the other, eyes glancing at the ceiling as well every now and then, trying to find what had captured the strange young woman's attention, "Well its certainly better than being out there, that's for sure," he grumbles something as he puts his decanter to his mouth and takes a swig, removing it and wiping his scruff and braided mustache off on his sleeve, "Though I don't get why a nuggin' elf like you would like enclosed spaces, thought you all were nature loving pansies that loved the great outdoors or some other such nonsense…"

"Mmm," the white haired elf gave an absent nod, "People would think that about me wouldn't they?"

"Kid," he took another swig, "You're head's always in the clouds, can't imagine why you'd like a ceiling?"

Crystalline eyes blinked as she stared at the ceiling, or probably past it to the deep blue night beyond, "I was raised in the Tower of Mages," she said softly, garnering the shabby dwarf's attention. He quirked a fuzzy red brow as the younger woman wondered with her eyes on the stones, "We weren't allowed outside the tower, if at all, and only saw glimpses of the world beyond windows…"

Oghren sloshed his decanter a bit, feeling oddly ashamed of himself. Here he'd been trying to 'play nice' but already he was just acting like a pompous dwarf to the girl, blaming stuff on her for being her kind and whatnot, "Kid-"

The elder dwarf stopped himself as he noticed the Elvin woman in front of him give a small shiver, one that if he hadn't spent his whole life in badly lit tunnels he doubted he would have caught. Then there was the small sniffle that followed…

"Every time I look up into the sky, I'm afraid I might fall in…" Tess shuttered, not knowing where this admittance came from, but as she looked up towards the ceiling something in the back of her mind just made her wonder. She was raised in the human tower, away from Elvin-kind, heck even the other elves didn't much want anything to do with her and the closest thing to a 'connection with nature' she had was talking to a demonically possessed rhyming tree. In all honesty, when she didn't think about it and was relatively by herself, being outside in the open scared the hell out of her. Sure, at first it had been fun and interesting, but being outside day in and day out, she found herself looking up at the sky and honestly wondering if she was going to fall into that darkness.

"Heh," Oghren walked up to stand right next to the young woman, she was too tall for him to put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly but a good grip on her arm would be good enough, "You an' me both Kid," he patted her arm as she finally looked down at him with blinking wide eyes. He gave her a cocky grin, hiding his and just about any other dwarves' inborn fear of the land above, about the endless ceiling, the deep blue 'sky' that they'd get caught staring at for days, "You an' me both…"

xXx

**Cage**

Morrigan kicked at the wooden floor of their third story inn, golden eyes glowering at the thing as if trying to figure out if it was real or she wanted to burn it down. That was the third time she'd done that.

Tess piqued a white brow over the paper she was reading, leaning over slightly to catch a glimpse of the pacing black haired woman. She'd been doing that for an hour now, just pacing and occasionally kicking the floor, then she'd growl and glare at it. Blinking crystalline colored eyes as the woman turned heel again, Tess slightly lowered the paper, "Is there something the floor has done to offend you," she glanced at the ceiling in mock thought, "Not that that would be too difficult even for an inanimate object…"

It sounded like Morrigan snorted at her but since she was looking up she didn't visually catch it. Looking back down the wilds mage was just staring, or perhaps glaring, at the smaller Warden. Tess blinked again, ear absently twitching as she was honestly confused by the woman's look.

"Are we finished here?" she all but growled out at the little mage, crossing her arms over her obvious bosom.

A pointed ear twitched again, "What do you mean 'are we finished here?'" she set the parchment she had been reading down, "As in this glaring contest between us, or your pacing?"

Gold burned into the little elf, "I meant are we done **_here_**," if the little elf didn't know any better it looked like the woman shivered before her eyes darted around the room as if expecting something to come out of the shadows.

Tess tilted her head, obviously confused by the witch's statement, "Umm… no?" her white brows furrow more as the woman glared harder at her, "the others are out gathering supplies or sleeping in the other room," the angle of her brows increased as the dark woman seemed to bristle, eyes darting around the room again, "Which we paid for…" she blinked confused, "for the next three days… ya know, 'rest and relaxation' like Alistair said?"

This time the Witch of the Wilds definitely snorted, and Tess caught it, "That nitwit, of course he'd suggest this…"

Tess' ears tilted back as her eyes narrowed skeptically at the woman, "You were there when he suggested we spend a few days here after what happened in the forest!"

"Y-yes, well, T'was a bad idea!" the witch's arms became uncrossed as she spoke, hands flexing nervously at her sides.

A white brow just rose higher, "'Bad idea'? You're the one that agreed to it? Saying it'd be good to get away from all the fade and spirits and whatnot," Tess raised her hands in odd little gestures as she counted off the weird things the witch had mentioned and what they'd seen.

The witch halted her pacing and just glared at the little elf, "T'was a mistake!" was that a growl in her voice? "I'd rather be out there in the wilds facing the dangers of the fade then being caged up in here for three days!" without even realizing it Morrigan had stomped her way across the room and was looming over the little white haired woman who was just staring up at her with wide surprised eyes. It took a moment but the Witch of the Wilds' words finally caught up with her along with the look their leader was giving her. Surprised by her own actions she nearly stumbled back, giving both herself and Tess some space, "I-I don't know…" she placed a hand on her forehead, trying to calm her racing heart and shuttered breathing. She felt trapped here, in between these four walls, ceiling and floor. It wasn't that she wasn't used to being inside, she had lived in her mother's hut after all, but something about the build of this place, it was too high up, there were too many rooms, too many buildings around that even looking out the window all she saw was more brick, it was unnerving…

Then she heard laughter…

Looking ahead of her, the Witch of the Wilds saw her diminutive leader just sitting there, holding onto the table for dear life as she was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach in. something inside the witch flared and she glared, possibly even growled, at the smaller woman as she took an ominous step forward.

"Y-you're claustrophobic?" when the words finally got out, Tess was staring right at the witch, crystalline blue directly into shimmering gold, "Why didn't you just say so?"

Morrigan blinked. Whatever hostilities she had formed in her mind were erased as she stared at the small woman a moment. Was it really that simple? Her gold eyes narrowed, staring defiantly into the little woman's eyes, trying to find some scheming or trickery. There was none, if anything the woman looked genuinely happy and concerned; it was a strange mixture and one that didn't make my sense to the witch.

Before Morrigan had a chance to say anything, Tess hopped up out of her chair, crossed to the woman and grabbed her hand, "C'mon, let's get you out of here for a little while."

xXx

**Home**

"Somehow I had a feeling T'would be the place you'd scurry off too," the dark woman's voice was oddly comforting in cold brisk air.

Alistair didn't move a muscle, not showing his surprise at her finding him, "Y-yea w-well, didn't feel comfortable in there," he nudged his head towards the castle behind them, never moving his gaze from the moonlit stone in front of the Redcliffe stables. He tightened his arms around his knees as he felt the witch sit down on the hay near him, he wasn't going to question the burning on his cheeks, he was freezing after all, "Plus you know me, m-missed being with the dogs and all…"

"Mmhmm," Morrigan looked around the empty stables derisively, noticing that not even the dogs were out here in the cold, all the horses brought inside, the only one out here was the fool, "Yes, quite crowded out here it is…"

Alistair snorted, her tone wasn't as mocking as normal but he knew she was being so, it just wouldn't be 'the witch' if she wasn't making fun of him, "Yes, much too crowded for the likes of you," he made a shooing motion with his hand closest to her, never raising his head from his arms on his knees, eyes never leaving the moonlit spot just outside the awning, "didn't you know, 'dogs only' around these parts, best a witch such as yourself wonder off before you catch stupid…"

Morrigan turned to look at the man next to her, eyes oddly blank. It wasn't like him to be self-defeating, sure she mocked him and taunted him mercilessly, but where was the fun in tormenting someone when they did it to themselves? She closed her gold eyes and sighed quietly, "fine, T'is what you wish…"

Alistair bit the inside of his cheek as his eyebrows twitched the slightest bit down. Why did he do that? Why was he pushing her away? He'd come out here because he couldn't deal with being here, at Redcliffe castle again, all the memories coming back and haunting him, especially after all that had happened with Isolde and curing his uncle, then Tess and the Arl had to start talking about the Landsmeet and…

He sighed deeply, burying his head in his arms. Tess had given him the choice, telling him it was his future, he could do with it what he wanted but he knew both she and his uncle still wanted him to take over the thrown, at least for now, so they could get the humans on their side to end the blight. That's all he wanted, was to end the blight then fade into obscurity and die just the same. Hell, maybe even die against the Archdemon then he wouldn't have to worry about anything after that…

Something large and furry leaned heavily against him.

Startled the not-quite-Templar froze. It took him a second or two to register that whatever-it-was wasn't attacking him. Startled and with eyes still wide the young man turned his head slowly, very slowly, to look at the 'thing' that was currently using him as a leaning post.

There was a mass of black fur leaning on him.

He blinked, still not quite registering it.

On closer inspection, it was actually a very large black canine of some sort, a wolf perhaps? Leaning on him.

His left eye twitched. –_Where in the sodding _**HELL**_ did a black wolf come from!_-

It growled lightly, snorting as it nuzzled closer into his neck.

Alistair froze even more, swallowing very slowly as he didn't know what to do about a feral wolf currently using him a plush bed…

"_It's me you nitwit,_" the wolf opened its eyes revealing very familiar gold ones as it stared directly into his half lidded.

Oddly enough, this actually caused the bastard-prince to calm down significantly. He didn't need to be a mindreading blood mage to know who it was, hell he argued with her enough that he was intimately familiar with her voice, and the talking in his head didn't frighten him that much, it was like back in the Deep Roads all over again. "Heh," the thought of their '_interesting_' conversation in the Deep Roads actually brought a smirk to his lips.

Morrigan the black wolf perked her ears, blinking gold eyes at him, her wolfish way of asking him to explain what he thought was so funny.

Alistair, for the first time that night, actually uncurled himself from his fettle ball position and ran a hand through his strawberry blonde hair. The black wolf leaned back, sitting up right as her gold inhuman eyes stared at him. The not-Templar smirked with his eyes at her, "I think I prefer talking to you like this over that giant spider," he gave a cocky grin closer to his normal ones when she narrowed her eyes at him, "Yes, much better."

"_T'is an easy arrangement to go back to '_that giant spider'_,"_ the edges of the wolf's eyes crinkled, "_T'is one of my most comfortable forms…_"she didn't need to add that part about it being one of her most deadly as well.

"Pass," Alistair raised a hand waving her suggestion off, "Only dogs allowed around here remember…" he opened one eye to look at her, noting the straight stare her wolfin form gave him, "A wolf's close enough…"

Morrigan's ears perked up, almost like she was smiling. Neither of them said anything about how her tail waved back and forth once or twice.

They sat in silence for a moment, staring at the moonlit ground past the awning.

Alistair fidgeted, scratching the side of his face; he was really cold but for some odd reason didn't want to move.

He suddenly felt the weight of a hundred and some odd pound canine on his shoulder.

The strawberry blonde blinked again, eyes darting to the wolf. She was leaning on him again, her head on his shoulder while the rest of her body just molded against his. She must have been really warm with all that fur, it was really nice against his side and spread throughout his body. He wondered if she was doing it on purpose, if she was intentionally keeping him warm or if it was just something she was doing because she was in wolf form. He remembered back to their conversation when she was a giant spider, how she mentioned that some things she did while in animal form were out of her 'human' control because part of her became the animal to take its form.

Looking down at his toes he remembered long ago when he lived out here with the dogs. How they would all huddle up together on cold nights, or just come up to him and lean on him, similar to what Morrigan was doing right now. Was it just something dogs did? Hell, even Bal would do that, whenever Tess wasn't around or kicked him out of her tent he would just walk up to the closest person and just lean on them or lay at or on their feet, and with a Mabari that weight about as much as Sten that could be quite painful, but he did it anyway.

Without thinking Alistair leaned closer into the black fur, he was cold and tired, what harm would it do? He laid his head on his arms, nuzzling further into a ball to keep in as much warmth as possible, remembering that even though this was where he was discarded too, where Emon had left him when Isolde wanted nothing to do with the Bastard-prince, it was the first place he grew up, the first place he was comfortable, and for some strange reason it was the first place he could call home.

Nuzzling deep in his arms he shifted closer to the large wolf at his side. If he startled her she didn't say anything, instead she removed her head from the crook of his shoulder and laid it on the back of his neck, her tail curling around him on the ground.

As his mind drifted towards the fade he remembered the dogs, remembered how they would curl up around him, comfort him how Morrigan was doing right now and he found peace. For whatever reason he had come out here looking to get away, what he found was so much more.

xXx

**Place**

Bal snorted as he paced back and forth. Where was his master? He knew she had gone past the big door that the metal lyrium smelling men were guarding. She told him to stay, but he didn't want to. Sniffing the air he could smell the fear in this place, the magic, everything about it radiated something bad happening and he wasn't at her side because the old grey-muzzle said 'No!'.

The large muscular dog growled, he should have been there at her side, no matter what the grey-muzzle said. She took the gamma-stone and the not-human-beta-bitch, even the omega-male, whom now that he thought about it smelled similar to the metal-lyrium-men. Sure, he didn't have that much of the scent but they had the same 'fuzz' around them, that anti-magic he used against the beta-bitch whenever the two of them 'handled' their issues.

He snorted again, turning his heel as he came up to the wall. He didn't like the Omega-male; he courted the beta-bitch too much. **_HE_** was the beta-male, she was rightfully his… she just needed to learn that. He paused a moment and pawed the ground, he had tried his best, giving her offerings of his kills, weeding out her herbs, keeping the others at bay, yet she still would not accept him. He snorted, his master said she wasn't 'ready' for him, and he got the feeling she was trying to pair the dark-bitch with that stupid omega. How could she do that to him? He had read the 'book', that woman was the only one he had a chance with, and she was his rank and equal…

Didn't they understand?

There was a sudden commotion at the large doors as the metal-lyrium-men were knocked over by their opening. A part of Bal snickered at them, the rest was set to wagging his stub of a tail and bounding over, expecting the sight of his master and **_his_** bitch returning successful from whatever hunt they were on…

Too bad the only thing that came through the door was the Omega-male and a bunch of pups…

Bal skidded to a halt, a few feet from the door, just staring at the Omega-male. He blinked, ears tilting back. –_Where is she!_- He wanted to yell at the human-male, it only came out as a bark.

When Alistair turned around and spotted Tess' dog barking at him he raised a strawberry blonde brow. Something had him all rattled, probably worried about Tess or something…

But before the man could question the dog a series of childish squeals and 'awws' escaped around him and suddenly Bal found himself in a circle of small-ones.

Bal leaned back, blinking his beady eyes at the small-ones. What were they doing? Several of them, larger and with non-pointed ears reached out to pet him. He suppressed the urge to growl and snap at them, his master would not like that, but he did bristle when they crowded him too much. All the flat eared pups poking and prodding him, one even pulled his stubby tail. He did not like this, not one bit.

There was a sudden clapping and all eyes went towards the omega-male, "Alright kids, let's leave the Mabari alone," he gave that stupid grin, the one the beta-bitch loved to sneer at, "C'mon, who wants to see an assassin do knife tricks or watch a Qunari smash him?"

Bal raised a doggish brow as the omega-male pointed the children away from him, and towards the delta-elf and gamma-giant. A small part in the back of his magically enhanced mind smirked as the flat-eared pups mobbed the delta-elf, served him right, touching his master when he was so below her in rank.

"Feel better?" Bal looked up at the omega-male, he had a less stupid looking smirk on his face, but he did seem genuinely sincere.

Bal bristled, he didn't like admitting any kindness to the omega-male, he was an omega after all, his entire purpose was to be the runt of the pack and deal with all their stress. The beta-bitch used this privilege in earnest.

The man reached a hand out, about to pet him and Bal didn't know if he wanted to let him or bite his hand off to loosen some of his own frustrations.

"Ah," both man and dog looked over at the sound, seemed there was a small group of Elvin children, three in total who had stayed separate from the human pups. The largest was a male, white skinned with blue-black fur on top; he looked like he could fight, a promising beta if Bal could say himself. The next was another male, slightly darker toned but still lighter than his master, with blonde fur on top, he reminded the Mabari of the delta-male of their pack with his colorings. Bal just grunted at the boys staring at them blankly but certainly not friendly.

"Um," at the widening of the males eyes Bal noticed the absence of the third. He snorted, looking left, then right, then finally down. Here was the smallest, a female pointy-eared pup. Her skin was darker than the other boys which reminded him of his master, but her top-fur was red, a very, very bright red. She was reaching out to touch his muzzle, it was funny to him, this pup barely came up to his chest yet she was trying to pet him.

Maybe it was that she was a potential alpha-female, maybe it was because her magic reminded him of his beta-bitch, but probably most of all it was her bright little eyes that reminded him most of his master and he desperately missed her. His ears came down slightly as he looked at the little pointy-eared pup before doing what was almost unheard of…

He lowered his head and let her pet him.

The little girl smiled as her tiny hand made contact with his surprisingly soft, if very short, fur. She'd never seen a dog before outside of books, and the texts the teachers read to them about magically imbued creatures said that Mabari were War-Beasts, nothing but living weapons, yet here she was petting one. Her! The smallest of the elf children! She got to do what no one else did, it was amazing!

Bal's little stub of a tail started wagging against his will. He missed his master, and this little doppelganger was healing his loneliness for the moment. Out of nowhere he nuzzled down closer to the little girl and licked her friendlily with his big mastiff tongue.

At first Alistair was afraid he'd finally snapped and was going to eat the little girl. Then he licked her, and she squealed? He nearly had a heart attack as the little girl ran off giggling with the two Elvin boys at her heels asking questions in what sounded like Dalish.

As for Bal?

He was sitting down wagging his stub of a tail calmly; if he were human he'd be smiling happily. He didn't bristle or growl or snort at the omega-male's presence when he stood next to the dog.

"Well, I guess I know Tess' kids will be safe with you so long as they're elves…" Alistair said dumbfounded. Bal had had a seeming temper with the entire party at best, well mostly him and currently Zevren for some odd reason, but never before had he seen the War-dog act so… 'Nice'. It was like Morrigan telling him 'good morning' or Leliana stomping around in a huff with her hair all out of place or Sten smiling. It happened; but it was just weird when it did…

There was a sudden weight on Alistair's hand closest to the Mabari. The not-quite-Templar gave a furtive glance down surprised at what he saw. Bal was leaning on his hand, and after a moment had nuzzled his way under it so it was flat on his furry head.

The omega-male didn't move and Bal was glad he was that smart. He was offering the omega a great honor, petting him, for it was the only way he could give thanks for saving that little girl, saving the next version of his master…

He hoped one day him and the beta-bitch could have a pup and the little red-alpha-to-be-female would be its master.

xXx

**Prison**

Leliana chanted, kneeling in front of a statue of Andraste. She was the only one that would bother coming here, even though Alistair believed in the Maker the man had refused to come join her at the chantry and Tess had pretty much made herself unwelcome after threatening the Matron to release the murdering Qunari. It wasn't even worth asking the other two, she knew they'd both give a resolute 'No', either with a snicker from the witch or silence from the Qunari.

So she had come here alone. Their odd little leader had said they should rest at least one night before leaving Lothering and Leliana suspected it had more to do with giving her a moment to say her 'goodbyes' then to let the others rest.

Sure, the Qunari needed food to bolster up his strength, and the Witch seemed curious enough about some herbs in the fields though the bard had spotted her talking with one woman she knew for a fact had been looking for certain 'poisons' to deal with certain problems, and Alistair didn't seem to have an opinion himself, huddled away with some book he stole from their leader…

The red-haired bard breathed out slowly. These thoughts were distracting her from her prayers.

She looked up at the statue of her patron goddess, well woman-turned-goddess, and she began to wonder. Was this really the right thing to do? She had had freedom here, away from everything of her past, free to not run and have a roof over her head, free to sweep and clean the passages and essentially become a freeloader to her god.

She sighed again. She was a bard for Andraste's sake. She had lived the finest life had to offer, yet she was here in some chantry in the middle of nowhere doing nothing but staying alive and out of sight. Everything, every day was so menial, so pointless and repetitive. she had come here to save her own life but it was slowly eating away at her, knowing the world like she did and being trapped here just for the safety of her own life…

The cloister had been her fortress, now it just her prison.

All because she felt the need to repent for all the deeds she had done to maintain her lavish and exciting lifestyle.

Her fists tightened on the carpet as she remembered it was also to keep this worthless excuse of a life she had… so she could continue running for another day, breathing one more day, to-

There was a snort next to the Bard.

Leliana sat up from her prostrate form and looked over to her left. There was a big dog sitting next to her. Correction, it was Balthazar, Tess' Mabari, sitting next to her… in the chantry…

He gave something of a whining growl as the woman kept staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" it was the first coherent thought she had. The fact that she voiced it to a semi-sentient canine that couldn't verbally respond back to her completely slipped her mind.

He turned towards her, looked her straight in the eye…

And licked her.

"AH!" for all her bard's training, Leliana fell back flat on her rear wiping dog slobber off her face. It wasn't the most delicate thing to do but once she was finish she glared at the stupid mutt, "What was that for?"

He barked a response she couldn't understand, but with the way his stub of a tail was wagging she could only guess he was laughing at her.

The red-head scowled at him, wiping her face some more. What was wrong with that dog? She had completely forgotten about him, after all he was technically an attachment to their weird little Elvin leader right?

She felt something grab around her free arm, it was tight and felt pointy, but the level of care taken to not harm her was astounding as she lowered her hand and looked down at what was trying to drag her away.

Bal made something of a growl with his muzzle around her wrist.

Leliana could only think of how many times she had seen Mabari snap bones in half with those powerful jaws and thought better of refusing the dog's apparent request. With one more tug she got to her feet and let him drag her out of the chantry.

When they got to the door he pawed at it, trying to both maintain his grip on her wrist and open the door at the same time, not a plausible task for a dog.

Without even thinking Leliana raised her free hand and opened the door for him. He gave her a pleased bark around her wrist and wagged his stub of a tail before gently pulling her outside.

The sun was coming up over the ridge and Leliana had to cover her eyes from the sudden shift in light as she stepped outside.

After a moment Bal released her wrist and barked as he ran off down the steps.

When her eyes finally adjusted, the red-headed bard lowered her arm and looked around. At the base of the stairs near the entrance of the courtyard was everyone else. The Qunari standing at the back by himself, the Witch and Alistair already having a somewhat muted argument about it being too damn early, and Tess in the center was kneeling down bright eyed and smiling as Bal practically barreled into her with a joyous morning howl that probably woke the entire village.

Leliana blinked, staring at the group for a moment before realizing something. She turned around and stared at the open door to the Chantry, its dark hall nothing but a memory in the raising morning light. She had walked out, with the help of that dog.

She turned back to the group, spotting the chaos he had caused and smiled. For a moment the Dog looked right at her, tail wagging and ears perked as he howled at the bard to join them.

xXx

**Resort**

"What the hell, Zevran!" Leliana shook the bars of their prison, not only to trick the guards into thinking she was some toting lackey, but to also test their real imperviousness. Hmm, the one on the left had rust damage around the bottom latch that could be removed it hit just right…

"Hm hm hm," the Elf laughed to himself, "why the outrage, hm? I see no problem with our current predicament?" he was currently laying a pile of hay in the corner of the cell designated as their 'bed', a stupid grin on his face.

Leliana let the go of the bars, completely ignoring the snickers from the guards, "how is this **_not_** a problem?" she wasn't acting, she was honestly frustrated that they had gotten caught and were now in jail in some Podunk town while everyone else was about 'shopping', "We're in _jail!_" in two quick strides she made it over to the elf, grabbed the collar of his shirt and growled at him, "We don't have weapons," she raised one finger, "They took our money, so we can't bribe our way out," two fingers, "there are who knows however many guards out there," three fingers, "with Maker knows what kind of fire power," four fingers, "and Andraste help us if we don't get out before Tess finds out!" instead of opening her hand fully and slapping the silly grinning elf across the face, because she blamed him for this, she opened her other hand and dropped him on the ground.

"_Si_, not so bad," the stupid elf was still giving that stupid grin, as if he was perfectly at home here in a stinking cell.

The red-haired bard just glared at him a moment before giving up and sitting down next to him, arms crossed over her chest while they both just stared out the bars of their cell, "So how long you think it'll take her to realize we're here?"

"Hmm?" the blonde elf-man tapped his chin, "I'd say when we don't show up, which lets say won't be for another hour, then she'll no doubt send out a search party," he pointed out one finger on his hand, "at least 17 minutes before Bal catches our scent or Morrigan," two fingers, "mark at least 5 minutes of her cursing us, our parents, linage, and gods," three fingers, and Leliana couldn't help but laugh, "perhaps another run around as Bal, or Morrigan, leads them on a chase around town followed by odd looks and questioning from the guards, give or take about 43 minutes," he grinned widely as he held up a fourth finger, both rogues picking up on the unusually expectant way their guards were fidgeting, "Then it'll take all of 15 minutes at most for her to make her way here before all the fun starts…" with his fully open hand he swished back his blonde hair.

Leliana laid back fully, arms behind her head as she mocked sleep, "How long's it been since we've been in here?"

Neither of them needed superhuman hearing to catch the gulps the guards shared.

With that smirk plastered across his face Zevran gave his answer, "About two hours and twenty minutes…"

As luck would have it, their cell had a window that faced the front of the cell tower, where the door was, and just as Zevran finished his sentence a large roar that sounded an awful lot like Shale sounded below followed by the unmistakable sound of 6 inch wooden doors breaking…

xXx

**Solitude**

There was a knocking on her head. No, not that she could feel it or anything, it was more the sound that registered to the golem then much else, probably some other magical sense that she honestly didn't want to bother putting the brain-power too to process.

Slowly the golem's glowing eyes opened, the light of the seals across her features illuminating more brightly signifying her conscious state, not that she was ever fully 'unconscious' or anything, "Something the matter pointy-elf?"

Zevran grinned from his position on the golem's shoulder, a precarious perch indeed seeing normally anyone would be tossed off or smashed with crystals. Shale must have been in a 'good' mood if she wasn't doing any of the above already, "Just curious my friend," he gave that flair that anyone else would roll their eyes at, the golem just stared.

With the added silence Shale assumed he wanted her to ask 'what' he was talking about. She continued to just glare.

Twitching a pointed ear Zevran coughed into his hand, "So you were once a female dwarf, hm?" again, 'suave' grin that would send normal women swooning.

The glowing stone just stared, "Yes," was her gravelly reply, "I was…"

The male elf blinked, adjusting his position on her shoulder from languid 'I'm trying to be sexy and I know it' pose to one of more honest curiosity, "What's it like knowing you were once flesh and now stone?"

One of Shale's glowing eyes arched, what a strange question coming from the normally so jovial and _blasé fair_ assassin, "Curious," she intoned, thinking he may be serious for once. When the male elf merely continued to stare she took it as an honest gesture of curiosity. The golem looked ahead of her, at the forest they were camped in and started walking, not bothering to concern herself with the Elf's position as he seemed skilled enough to maintain himself, "I suppose it is like being encased in armor…" the ground shook with her steps, "an armor one cannot remove, and it dulls all the 'conventional' senses you garner growing up as a squishy child…"

The assassin grinned, oddly honest as he looked up into the trees as they passed them, "No pain? No sense of fear or anticipation of wounds to come?"

"Yes," she said curiously, glancing up sidelong at the man perched on her shoulder, "The only down side is I can't really feel," she looked at him directly, glowing eyes narrowed, "You're sitting on me but all I register is the sounds you make, I have no conscious connection to your squishy body on my shoulder…"

The blonde elf raised an eyebrow at that, looking back down at his ride, "nothing at all?"

She shrugged mutely, not noticing as he gripped tighter to not fall off, "Everything is dampened, honed only so I can properly destroy things," the ground shook as she continued her trek, "though I do suppose, with the lessening of ones 'natural' senses I have garnered myself a sense of awareness about me that is…" she eyed him again, glowing eyes narrowed in something akin to curiosity, "unnatural…"

The male elf smirked, "I know exactly what you mean."

xXx

**Asylum**

Silence. It was the only thing to accompany him between the dark walls of his cell. A strange thing indeed, to be a prisoner again.

There were hulking steps coming closer to the door to his cell. Slowly violet eyes opened and looked upon his only visitor.

"Hm," the stone woman crossed her arms, "and here I would have thought you'd've busted your way out by now…" there was a quirk in her glowing eyes, a sign of life that hadn't been present during their long time of travel.

Without his conscious effort a tug came to the side of his face, "It is what happens, I am not one to fight my plight."

It almost looked like she rolled her eyes, "Right, you have fun with that," her large stone arms uncrossed as she took ominous steps forward, purplish-pink crystals forming on her lower arms, "I'll be doing all the busting out and whatnot…"

The Qunari's violet eyes blinked, honestly surprised by her statement. Here he was perfectly content with being a captive, he had lost after all, it was only natural. Yet here was Shale, a colleague, comrade-in-arms he had not seen in years making threats to break him out of a Tevinter prison. That tug on the edge of his lip grew more, "Are you sure, I doubt Wynne would approve _Kadan_?"

She made a gesture that looked almost like a snort but with the golem's inability to breathe it was inherently impossible, "Who do you think sent me here?"

Then he really did grin. Sten let his head fall, eyes closed and mouth grinning, truly a worthy opponent and a good friend. When his cell door buckled and crashed to the floor after being tossed aside he looked up at his other good friend. Shale was just looking at him, expecting him to come so they could leave.

The Qunari did not disappoint, rising he walked out with all the dignity of a military captain.

xXx

**Elysium**

"This is honestly not how I thought we'd meet again after so long," Wynne smiled wryly at the tall man, both standing in the center of a torrent of chaos as both sides waged war, the Tevinter and the Qunari.

Sten gripped the handle of Asala, keeping his eyes on Wynne; he may not say anything but it was a rather disturbing sight seeing the elder mage here, especially when he knew of her powers. He growled low in his chest, "I never thought to see you here either."

The elder mage gave an unsure smile, "Traveling with a golem out to find her humanity takes you strange places," she glanced around the battle, watching as others fought with bloody abandon set on killing one another, "Even into the center of a war centuries older then I…"

Asala lowered slightly as Sten stood straighter, if only for a moment, "You can leave, I won't attack you when your back is turned." He meant it, he owed the woman that much, she was many things he did not understand but what he did know was her strength, her courage to keep going despite much in this world, and he knew the look in her eyes.

"Well," the old woman looked at him dead on, the edges of her eyes crinkling, "I would say the same to you, but knowing you, you'd think I'm insulting you," it was a strange thing indeed hearing laughter while so many were dying all around them.

A smirk tugged at the edge of his lip, "I believe we've come to an understanding before, now is no different…"

"Yes," the old woman smiled sincerely. Wynne leaned on her staff, oddly at peace with her life at the moment. Here she had been traveling all around with no real course, just wondering under the guise of helping Shale, yet it was here, on the battlefield where she found a solemn peace. She looked at the Qunari, they had fought almost as bad as Morrigan and Alistair at times over their religious views and cultural differences, yet here they were weapons out and poised against each other and yet neither was willing to make the next move. How strange? The old woman smiled at the large young man, "I believe we have…"

xXx

**Full Circle**

"Come on," Wynne chuckled lightly to herself as she was the last to step foot outside Orzammar. It was nice to feel the breeze again, being underground for so long made her feel old, like she was walking through a mausoleum only people were living there too. As if she wasn't already one foot in the coffin.

She looked back at the last, new member of their ragtag group, the dwarf that had helped them out in the Deep Roads. She had seen a lot of anguish in her years but what had happened between this younger man and his former wife was something she wouldn't forget soon enough. Not to mention Shale's issue and everything else, thank the Maker for their leader giving the man purpose again.

The older woman had a hand on her hip and the other holding her staff as she looked at the small man, just staring up at the sky. She couldn't help the grin that formed on her lips or the light chuckle at his expression, "It's alright, you won't fall in, I guarantee!"

"Hmm," Oghren shuffled, putting one hand over his eyes like a visor, "Sure about that lass, it looks awfully big up there," he looked at the older woman in question with a lecherous grin, "I might need something to hold on to…"

The elder mage smirked, "Need me to hold your hand?" she chuckled again; dealing with him was like dealing with one of her students.

The red-haired dwarf grinned wide and gave a boisterous laugh, "HAH!" he rubbed his belly as he shook with laughter, "If it'll make ya feel better, why not?" he held his hand out to the woman.

It was funny; in the months to come Oghren would prove to be a strong, rambunctious, and extremely lewd flirt with boundless confidence that poured out of every pour in his stout body. Yet Wynne will always remember that while he held his hand out first, she was the one that grabbed it and pulled him out underneath the endless sky.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **special thanks to all those that review, i really miss getting them, but i suppose FF is going out of fashion, i blame all this censorship BS going on and personally can't wait for it all to blow over and people to get back common sense... -snorts- common sense, that's funny XD

well you all know the drill, and while i originally made this for my brother, since he kinda dropped off the planet i hope you guys who read it enjoy it, i really like writing it...

and as my statistics teacher used to say:

"Comments, Questions, Opposing Views?" (Review :3)

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	9. Fascination

**A/N:** why i feel like continuing this crack instead of my other stories is beyond me...

i've actually had little desire to write lately, but i blame that on some soul-searching and ME3 (amazing game :3) so this is that 'half-chap' i mentioned last time, and i finished it... then left it... then decided to add the last part because i felt it was getting too angsty and fluffy, and there wasn't enough 'hilarity ensued' anymore in this lovely baby, when here it was the entire point...

and i realized last chap didn't involve a naked Tess or _Sauciness_... i must correct this :3

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>A certain 'Fascination'…<p>

On the road…

It had been another long day of walking, the normal routine of a scouting party forgone as the entire group merely walked along the road at a leisurely pace, eventually stopping by a river. Tess, their leader, had called the halt for some strange reason, no one was particularly tired, and since they'd traveled in such a large group instead of smaller ones there hadn't been a single attack all day. Most of them were bored, namely Alistair and Morrigan, who expressed it in their three hour long argument that started with some comment about deep mushrooms… the fact that it was **_still_** going on, despite everyone else neatly seated and relaxing by the river told everyone just how 'bored' they were.

Zevran sat, puzzled by his fellow elf's actions, as he watched the rest of the group…

Leliana was stretched out, lying by the river quietly, humming something to herself, that melodic tone to her voice catching in his pointy ears…

Wynne was nearby, reading a book he didn't quite recognize, the old woman giggling to herself as she occasionally glanced up at the 'arguing' pair, shook her head disapproving and turned back to her book…

Sten was a bit further off, arms and legs crossed, as he seemed to normally do when they had a moment's rest. Zevran assumed the Qunari was meditating, but for all he knew the man could be just as well asleep…

Bal was curled up next to the semi-giant, obviously asleep as he was lying flat out, barking and fidgeting as he chased some dream morsel…

Shale was standing off, further away from the river. The assassin wondered if the stone had a fear of drowning, as strange as it sounded, but that hadn't stopped the construct from crossing the lake to the Mages' Tower so that couldn't quite be it… although it did seem to be having something of a one-sided conversation with the merchant dwarf that followed them while his son just seemed to stare at Shale. The golem must have been used to it by now; it wasn't hurling crystals at them for one thing…

"I'm telling you, Witch, that stuff is poisonous…" The not-quite-Templar's voice rang across the small clearing…

"Oh, you're telling '_Me_' something, twit," the sarcasm bit heavily in the woman's tone as she cocked her hip with a hand on it, "Because _yes_, I'm sure you have years of experience dealing with deadly poisons and the multitude of natural ingredients that can both cure and kill, hmm?"

"I'm just saying I know from experience-" now the adorable strawberry blonde had his own hands on his hips as he leaned down closer to the black haired woman, just glaring at her.

"_You're_ experience is about as accurate as-" now the witch had leaned in too, golden eyes bore into the man's…

Zevran honestly wondered what was wrong with those two humans. They fought well enough, as in actual combat, even backing each other up without a word and together were actually a marvelous combination on the battlefield, about as good as Tess was with Bal, but outside of battle…

"_Witch!_"

"_Idiot!_"

… It was as if they were compelled to argue with one another like small children. Most of the time the 'fights' were about nothing and ended relatively quickly once something else caught their attention. Other times just because of a misplaced word or snide comment they'd go into an all-out war which could last for hours if not handled quickly…

Suddenly a large burst of rock shot up between the two who'd been about an inch apart and glaring at each other in their own little world. Luckily months of training and hard work had their reflexes honed to a 'T', allowing the two to jump away from the '_sudden_' attack, both turning in unison towards the riverbank…

"Wynne… y-you just…" Alistair stared at the older mage, flabbergasted that she'd just used her earth magicks to halt their 'little' argument.

Morrigan merely glowered at the old woman, not the same kind of glare she sent towards the not-Templar Zevran couldn't help but notice, but one that was truly full of the kind of malice someone used when about to kill a person.

Zevran twitched a pointed ear as he watched the scene, wondering for a moment if the two actually argued because they _liked_ arguing with one another, since they didn't try nearly as hard to strike up conversation with the others as they did with bickering between the two of them…

"Yes, Alistair I did," the elder mage quietly closed her book, taking her time to look at the two of them, Leliana next to her was trying hard not to snicker too obviously, "I thought it about time the two of you stopped this silly game…"

"Hmp," Morrigan huffed as she crossed her arms, looking anywhere but at the elder Tower Mage.

Alistair followed her in rolling his eyes, "Please, it's not like we've been arguing for that long…"

"Four hours, twenty-two minutes," all eyes turned to the deep rasping voice of the Qunari, who still had his eyes closed. Bal snorted in his sleep next to him.

Wynne raised a wizened brow at the two standing, only a _slight_ smirk on her face.

Alistair sputtered something while Morrigan just continued glowering at the elder mage.

"It is strange that the swamp-witch and paltry-knight have argued this long," Shale's earth shaking steps could be felt as the golem made its way back to the main group, apparently tired of the company of dwarven admiration. The construct paused a few feet from the wilds mage, looking down at her and barely giving any notice to the man not far away, "I would think you like the sound of each other's voices with how long you'd go on in circles, how It puts up with the two of you is a true mystery…"

Snickers abounded across the group as the golem just said what was on all their minds, while Alistair sputtered and blushed in embarrassment and denial, Morrigan turned red for an entirely different reason…

"T'is something you wish to insinuate, construct," There was that look in the witch's eyes again, like what was in front of her she could really kill if not for some small thread holding her back…

Shale put its hands on its hips and merely looked down at the glowering witch, "_T'is_ an insinuation I've made, hrm…" a disgruntled look crossed the golem's glowing face as it looked around, "Though, now that I've thought about it, where is It? Usually It never misses a moment to tease the swamp-witch…"

Gold eyes narrowed on the walking stone as Morrigan crossed her arms, feeling slightly less murderous, "Stop calling me that…"

"Would 'scantily-clad-evil-magical-squishy' be better to its liking?" Shale merely looked down at the dark witch, tilting its head slightly as if daring her to say something.

Morrigan merely glared at the glowing stone… before turning on Alistair who had a hand clasped over his mouth trying to hide his snicker, "Shut up, twit…"

At that the not-quite-Templar doubled over and started full on laughing, the witch growling in return…

Several of the others of the party joined him, snickering and laughing at the oddly common occurrence.

Amidst the giggles and snide comments, Zevran peered around the riverside, now while the golem was just laughing at Morrigan and Alistair in its own way, it had made a point, where was their leader? The assassin's light eyes scanned the entire surrounding area, not seeing a hint of white or steel belonging to the fine specimen of elven femininity he had the pleasure of knowing intimately. He sighed to himself, getting to his feet intent on finding her, seeing as everyone else was preoccupied.

For the briefest of moments he wondered if there was a reason for her absence, but that was pushed aside in lieu of needing to find her… just to know she was safe, of course…

xXx

By a pond…

It was the sound that caught him before his eyes caught sight of her. The elven man's ears perked, he'd never heard her humming before, certainly not a tune he knew, and certainly not something like this. The assassin moved the underbrush from his eyes, feeling a strange need to keep in the shadows, unseen to her piercing eyes, so he may see her, for once, before she sees him…

And see her he did, the woman that led them, the woman who fought with them, the one he had bedded and fatally fallen for. He still loved her; he could feel it in his heart, followed by the dull ache from her rather public rejection. It had not been long, a month or two perhaps, since that event, when the female Warden had reached her limit with the amorous attentions from her warring friends, seeking shelter at the witch's camp with the stone and Qunari as her guards… only for everything to explode in a flurry of emotion as she rejected all three of them in one swift angry move. They had deserved it, Zevran admitted to himself, their jealousy had tattered the bonds of their group, leaving the three of them fighting for their leader's affection when she'd only wanted to maintain peace and keep them all happy… she'd never wanted one of them like that, it had been weird hearing that from the Witch of the Wilds after the Warden woman had taken her leave, only to be followed by the agreement of Shale and Sten.

That had been a hard pill to swallow for sure…

Things had been quiet since then, everyone trying to get back to normal while avoiding the painful emotions.

Then there was Denerim… and an entirely different fiasco…

"Are you just going to keep staring, or are you going to come closer?"

It was thanks to years of being a Crow that prevented Zevran from leaping several feet in the air at her voice. How long had it been since he'd heard her voice? There wasn't that normal jovial sound to it, nor that slightly confused or surprised sound she so often used when encountered with something she didn't know… no this was the sound of someone old, resigned, something dark and heavy she held in her soul that was never let out…

Zevran pushed the underbrush aside, still as silently as possible, not wanting to change the atmosphere any more than his presence already did. What he saw was something strange indeed, before him was Tess, sitting with her back completely bare to him, it took him a moment to realize that she was seated at the edge of a shallow pond, completely naked with her legs crossed as her arms moved about some action he could not decipher from where he was…

"You can come closer, there is no reason to stand so far away," it was that tone again, that not-quite-right not-quite-light tone, there was something methodic about it, and as the assassin stepped closer her began to realize why. In her hand was some kind of device, something old by the looks of it, yet well taken care of, it had a needle at one end and as he stepped closer he watched as she dipped it in a bowl of reddish liquid, satisfied with its contents, brought it up and proceeded to run the needle end along a point on her arm, right where her tattoos ended. Her crystal colored eyes seemed hazy as she stared unblinking, first outlining an invisible design in her mind along the end of her existing tattoo, almost as if she were extending it…

Fascinated, the assassin stepped closer and closer, his light eyes never leaving the spot she was working on as blood and ink melded in the fine points and the color set in to her skin. By the time he had sat down beside her she had dipped the needle twice, still working on the lining for that one part, "Fascinating…"

"Hm," she vaguely nodded, eyes half-lidded as she seemed almost in a meditative trance, mind focused on nothing as her body mechanically worked on this singular task…

The pond-side clearing was quite for several minutes as the Assassin merely watched as the Mage extended her existing markings…

"Aren't you going to ask?" she said almost flatly, a small amount of curiosity finding the edges of her voice.

"I was going to ask about the humming, but this fascinates me far more at the moment," The assassin said with a slight amount of amusement in his voice. His light colored eyes rose slightly, catching her eyes as they continued to stare at her task, a light amount of amusement in them as she gave a soft smile.

"It's something I remember from my mother," she spoke softly, almost reverently, "The only thing I remember from her…" the hand with the needle paused a moment, lifting slightly as her body gave an involuntary shake, her eyes clouding for only that moment as a look came over her face like she had cried over it enough already, "I was so young when they found me, I don't know how I know that song, or that it's really from my mother…"

Zevran looked up at her eyes again, keeping track of them, trying to empathize with the emotions held there, "'Found you'?" he asked lightly, her eyes shifting slightly, "You've never spoke of your past before, especially not before the Tower…" his eyes stayed on her as his hands gripped his ankles, "I'd always wondered how the Circle of Mages got their hands on a Dalish child, hm?"

For the first time in this encounter her crystalline eyes raised and looked directly into his light ones, something solemn and sad in them, "from what I was told, I can't have been older than four when the Templars found me in the woods, far to the southwest, in the glens between the Brecilian Forest and the Kokari Wilds…" those eyes lowered, becoming clouded with memories that didn't really exist, "They say there was a body of a woman next to me, whom I was crying over, and a large beast of a wolf with bone all over its back, a dire wolf of some kind they said…" the clouds returned to her eyes as she trembled, enough to make her put the needle down, "They say the woman had darker skin then mine, with hair whiter than snow, she clutched in her hands a double-bladed foreign weapon, everything about her screamed she was not from here," Tess clenched her teeth and fists, "She had no tattoos, no signs she was Dalish, yet I do," she absentmindedly ran a hand along the right side of her face, along the oldest of her tattoos, "I came to the Tower with this part already, I must have been from a Dalish clan to have them, but then who was she? My mother? Kidnapper?" suddenly her eyes snapped to Zevran's a pleading question in them, "From what I have seen of the elves here, both Alienage and Dalish, I-I don't…" her eyes faltered, falling to stare at her hands, examining the dark skin tone, "I don't belong…"

Zevran placed his hand over her trembling one, trying to comfort her without words and to show her she was not alone. When he had first met her, even though he had been assigned to kill her, he had noticed she was a bit 'different'. It wasn't just her personality, or the way she handled situations, she was right to question her place in this world, since even though she did have the tattoos he'd never seen a Dalish with skin naturally as dark as hers, or hair that was naturally white, or eyes with such a vivid color. Perhaps the strange woman had been her mother, perhaps she was a foreigner, so what? He was, and while Antivan elves tended to be more of a 'gold' color, like him with his lightly bronzed skin, gold hair and light eyes, maybe her mother was just from another country, perhaps to the north? Or the south since they found her south? Maybe her father was the Dalish one which was why she had the tattoos, maybe something happened to him and her mother was fleeing with her? Who was to know…

He squeezed her hand, wanting to say all that and more, but the words never finding his lips. Maybe that's just how they were; things didn't need to be said. He gave a light smile, chuckling in his throat, "What brought all this melodrama on, hm?"

Tess raised her eyes from her hands, glancing at the assassin under her lashes before looking down embarrassed, "I was thinking of the Alienage back in Denerim," her hand flexed in his as a frown marred her beautiful face, "About Shianni and her request for help," her fist tightened, threatening to break his hand, "About how useless I feel that we couldn't do anything immediately to help them… and…"

"And…?" he said almost flatly as he deftly removed her hand from his, turning it over as he tried to get the stiffness he felt in the appendage out by flexing it, "You are disappointed in that we could not immediately look into their problems? That we have somehow failed them, no?"

The white haired woman frowned slightly, eyes facing the placid pond surface, "We couldn't stay, had we, we'd have been arrested undoubtedly by Lohgain's men, or someone else equally dangerous," her white brows furrowed as she remembered the look of that man she saw in the market, surely he worked for Lohgain, or was in with him about ruling the country or something, but the look in his eyes when he laid them upon her… the naked woman gave an unconscious shiver, banishing the image from her mind, "I'm beginning to dislike humans," she muttered, rubbing her arms, "At least some of them…"

Zevran stared ahead, understanding her opinion but not voicing his own. As a Crow he had seen the worst humanity had to offer, and to him it was no different from Elvin kind or Dwarves, perhaps even Qunari as well. People were cruel, often for no good reason beyond personal gain. The fact that this was her first time in a 'real' human city, seeing the real world and the 'plight' of _their_ people… "It is no different than any other city…"

Her eyes, those crystal clear shards that stabbed so accurately into his heart, turned on him, "Why is that? Why are people like that?" her brows dipped lower as she faced the pond again, burning a hole into the liquid pool, "why is there a difference?" her white brows furrowed as she stared deeper, "Human, Elf, Qunari, Dwarf, whatever the hell Morrigan is… Mage, Apostate, Knight, Assassin, Bard, Soldier… why is there a difference, why does any of that change how people treat each other?"

The assassin smirked, placing his hand over his mouth to try and quell the snickering he could feel coming. She had had this simmering on her mind for quite a while if the amount of anger she was letting through was any indication, but that wasn't what was causing the hardened Assassin to almost snicker. It was the honest look on her naïve face, "_Mia Bella_, ha ha, you are so naïve sometimes," he smiled suavely as the young woman glowered his way, "I often forget you grew up away from the world, with all the saving of it you do… but alas, your true nature shows, such adorable idealism, no?"

White brows fidgeted, "Says you, whom was originally sent to kill me, only to join and bed me, hm?" now it was her turn to smirk, her hand idly picking up the needle again and dipping it in the ink.

"Ah, the cruelties I undertake for my job," Zevran dramatically struck his hand to his heart, almost as if he were struck by an arrow there. His light eyes caught the smirk that touched her lips as she looked away, back on her task. He smiled, something soft and honest, a rare thing to be found the lips of an assassin, "Tess?"

The white brow closest to him piqued, "That sounds strange, my actual name coming from your lips…" her eyes glanced sideways at him, a light spark of amusement in them as opposed to the cloudiness from earlier, "Been quite a while, so this must be important," despite her own observation, the tiny mage went back to her work, eyes diligently on the lines of blood and ink being etched into her skin.

Now it was his turn for his eyes to become solemn. What had he wanted to say? Her comment had been true, harmless but true. His eyes looked away for a moment, to collect his thoughts. The mask he wore of the cheery-suave Elf slipped away, and the hardened man he was underneath showed. When he looked back at her she hadn't moved her eyes from her task but he had the feeling she knew, the same way he knew how she truly felt, about her insecurities about the world and her place in it, was the same way she knew his insecurities and jaded nature as well. His eyes watched hers for a moment, his brows flattening as the tiredness showed in his eyes, "why did you reject us?"

The white haired woman paused in her task, eyes never finding their way to his.

Zevran stared at her, patient as the killer he was letting her gather her thoughts to answer the question that had been burning in his mind for that past month.

There was silence between the two elves, a long drawn out silence that even the nature surrounding them did not dare to traverse. The pond was still, the leaves in the trees did not dance, not a single animal entered within their presence as the two remained perfectly still, the assassin staring at the mage as she merely looked somewhere between the ground and water.

"I don't want to hurt anybody," was her final response.

The male elf tilted his ears back slightly, eyes never leaving her solemn face. He could tell by the blank look on her face she honestly meant it, but that didn't help heal the wound in his heart, "You failed in that endeavor, no?"

A very minute smile creeped along her lips, almost ashamed as her crystalline blue eyes lowered slightly, "I know," she sighed deeply closing her eyes and putting her arms down, "It is better I hurt you all at once then individually," she turned to him, that solemn look on her face never leaving as she gave a sad smile, "Otherwise the three of you would have fought trying to determine who it was I 'chose' in the end, when I chose none."

Zevran stared at her, face completely impassive, something Tess was not used to seeing but it proved yet again that he was indeed a highly trained assassin and not just some meager rouge, "I understand." Somehow with his words he finally deflated showing the heartbroken man that he was as he looked down at his crossed arms, "It does not make me feel any better, but I understand…"

A genuine smile tugged at the edge of the mage's lips as she turned back to the pond, arms raising intent on continuing her endeavor, "Thank you."

Zevran's head peaked up at the low tone of her voice, noticing her going back to her task. A pout formed across his face as he wanted to question her more, wanted to ask 'why' she didn't pick one over the others, why she didn't return their feelings, why she didn't pick him… but without having to ask she did answer him. She had been the entire time he'd been there. Slowly the elf-man started to realize that while she did not want him as more in a romantic way she did value him as someone she could trust, after all she was still here sitting naked doing what looked like a long adhered to and thought out ritual and even lamented to him concerns she had not shared yet with the others and probably never would, after all they weren't '_elves'_, they wouldn't understand…

"_Mia Bella_," despite the low and almost shy tone he used to say his favorite 'nickname' for her, the blonde elf felt exceedingly gratified as the light smile on her lips widened just the smallest bit at its reuse, "What are you doing, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"You may," the smile turned into a smirk as her eyes remained trained on her task, "You always wondered where all my tattoos came from," blue eyes glanced over at him coyly for a moment, "Well I suppose this would be the answer," she smirked turning back to her task, "Every year, on the day I came to the Tower I extend my existing tattoos," she raised her arm, inspecting the section she had just finished, "Every year they change, growing longer or branching out," she turned, dipping the needle before looking over her exposed body wondering where to start from next, "I may even decide to start new patterns, depending on how I feel the year has changed me," she turned her hand over, finding an empty patch of skin under her wrist and smiling wryly, "This year quite a bit has happened, so it may take me a bit longer to get it right compared to the previous times," she set the needle down, her eye brows twitching a moment as she ignored the initial pinch of pain as the needle made contact with skin.

Zevran smiled, not a smirk or _saucy_ coy grin, but just a genuine smile. She was right; he had always been curious about her tattoos, always lingered on them when in bed together or just stared at as he helped bandage her up after a fight. They were marvelous, intricate in their patterns and always fetching in his opinion. And here she was, showing him how she made such art…

Yes, he smiled, knowing he was the only person she had shown such a ritual too, and part of him felt special knowing she didn't turn him away from this. He may not have her romantic interest, and they may never lay together again because of all this mess, but he took comfort in the thought that she still trusted him, still relied on him, still was there for him and let him be there for her.

Somehow, the prospect of being her _Confidant_ didn't seem so bad anymore…

xXx

Several hours later, back at camp…

Tess flicked her wrist, letting the sting of the new markings settle. She flexed her hand and flipped it over, looking at the new throne pattern there, "I think this turned out rather well," crystalline eyes glanced from the mark to the man next to her it represented.

Zevran laughed in his throat, "It is rather dashing I think, no?" his eyes closed as he smirked, taking her hand a moment and giving it a squeeze. The white haired woman smirked at his chivalry before the assassin turned away, noting the darkening sky as they came closer to the camp, "I wonder if the others will notice?"

The elvin woman laughed into her hand, "They didn't noticed last year," her eyes smirked as he gave her an incredulous look, "You didn't either…"

"Ah," the dramatic assassin placed a hand on his heart, "_Mia Bella_ you wound me," he piqued one eye open at her, noticing her incredulous look, "Had we bed each other yet?"

With a roll of her eyes and a smirk on her lips, the Warden took a step forward, "No, I don't believe so," there was a light laugh in her voice as the male elf followed close behind her, "And perhaps that's your only saving grace."

At the white haired woman's joke the two elves shared a look, before laughing.

As they grew closer to camp and their own laughter had died down, both elves' ears perked at the sound of battle. Immediately both lost the jovial looks on their faces, a sterner battle-ready look coming over them as Zevran grabbed his daggers and Tess summoned her shields and charges each hand with offensive magic. The two shared a look, far more serious than moments before, and Tess nodded taking the lead. Zevran nodded behind her, never for a second thinking to take the position.

As the two crept closer to the camp, sticking to the shadows, Zevran easily slipping into sneaking and blending with the environment around him, and Tess being surprisingly agile and quiet, perhaps because she lacked her massive armor. The two made it to a bush that separated them from whatever battle was taking place, both their ears were twitching as the picked up the sounds of steel against something hard. Tess could sense magic being used but something about it was off…

Both elves shared a final look, it obviously etched on both their faces that they thought something was weird; there was enough struggling, cursing, or other such sounds they'd become accustom to in the heat of battle. The blonde raised a brow, giving a cocky suave grin as if suggesting a joke. White brows lowered into a mild glare as the female elf couldn't help the _small_ smirk touching her lips.

As one the two jumped from behind the bush, knives and magically imbued fists drawn…

… only to fizzle and slump at the sight in front of them.

For a moment Tess' mouth was hanging somewhere on the ground before her hand, no longer imbued by magic, smacked her forehead loudly, "You've got to be sodding kidding me!"

A snort escaped Zevran before placing a hand trying to cover up the bemused smirk and snickers threatening to release themselves, "W-well, _Mia Bella_, that's one way for them to finally end that argument…"

Somehow, while the two elves had been away, it seemed Morrigan and Alisatair's '_argument'_ had continued… and apparently escalated…

"Yea, get him, get him!" Leliana enthusiastically yelled while pumping her fists…

"Is that the best you got, the swamp-witch isn't even trying!" Shale bellowed with a chuckle…

"Come on boy, its just _one_ mage!" Wynne laughed as she joined the crowd in taunting Alistair…

"Shut up!" Who yelled back at them before getting swung at by on large hairy black appendage.

Bal jumped up on his haunches and barked triumphantly…

Sten, who was standing as close to 'center' of the 'arena' looked at Alistair down, raised his left hand and made a whistling sound, somehow he had become the referee…

"_Muhahaha!"_ Morrigan the giant spider chittered, "_Miss something there? I'd go easy on you if you'd only say it!"_

Alistair growled as he was held up by Sandal and his father, "Not on your life witch," He grabbed his sword and shield and charged back at the giant dire spider.

"C'mon lad, it's just a big bug," Bodahn said with a chuckle pushing Alistair back to his feet.

There was a boisterous laugh not far behind them as Oghren walked up drinking, "Little pike-twirler doesn't know how to handle a fine woman like that," the distinct sound of metal hitting the ground resounded along with enraged chittering as everyone else laughed harder. The red haired dwarf grinned wide, " 's matter boy, gonna let 'er walk all over you like that!" the laughter grew louder.

"That is **_NOT_** what this is about!" Both spider and dirt-faced Templar shouted before continuing their 'duel'.

Tess raised her head, peaking one crystalline eye out to look at the 'carnage' going on, one ear twitching, "So this is what happens when I step away for a little while?"

There was a masculine chuckle to her left as Zevran grinned, "It appears so, though I have to say this is far more enjoyable then their earlier debate, no?"

The white haired elf-woman smirked as she folded her arms, "I guess it is," her eyes darted to his a moment and the two shared a little understanding before laughing. It seemed no matter what life went on, despite what happened between them, the pains they felt or understanding they earned, the world kept moving, in interesting and creative ways.

Tess nudged him, a smirk lighting her dark tan features.

Zevran smirked, "Should we ruin their fun?"

The white haired woman gave a light chuckle, "No, this is far too amusing…"

"Indeed," the blonde smirked, enjoying the company and the entertainment.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** thanks as always to all those that review, and those that read and laugh (whom should say something about how funny it is~) and all that jazz :3

my brother is somewhere on the planet and appearently more concerned with paradoxes then the crack i write for him... shame on him, and his ME3 army sucked, i've already got over 7000! and not even beaten the game -evil grin- master of the universe!

yea, about that... -munches chips- oh, and for anyone guesses, Tess' 'mom' is actually my Neverwinter Nights Character -drum roll- and don't laugh at the name... -.- Anko Turel! (cookies for those of you that get both show/game references that go into this name :3) who in the original NWNs was an 'elf' (whom i tried to make look as close to a dark elf as possible, -sigh- old school-ness) who was a druid-ranger (because i'm awesome and i get more super spells XD) but i loved the martial 'double-bladed' weapon in that game (where is it in 2!) and if you haven't noticed 'crazy' smash-things-mage runs in the family, also owning 'dogs' since mama had a dire wolf companion (WHERE IS MY DIRE WOLF IN NWN2! -.- fail) named Melchior... bonus points to who can guess the name of Tess' son's dog's name? XD and since NWN/2 has ambiguous endings, and i'm that geeky, i thought 'what the hell' Anko Turel traveled the lands, had saucy pirate raids, saved some forest spirits, and hooked up somewhere and had a baby in feralden... why not? double geek-points!

plus my whole input on the 'elves' of feralden, my opinion is that since the 'elf' plus human makes a human i'm under the assumption that all the Dalish are actally half-elves, and since Tess' mom was a 'full'-elf from a foreign land, she's like 3-4ths elf, so if she had a baby with a human (-coughs-cullen-coughscoughs-) it'd be a 'normal' half-elf... since i can't see Tess having a kid and it NOT having pointy ears, would just totally screw with the mojo... genetic maths go!

so yea, geek references in geek logic, have fun with that :3 (review -.-)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	10. Never

**A/N:** this is what happens when i beat one game (ME3) and go back to one i've 'sorta' beaten and am really just using for re-play-through-crack-writing-value (DA:O) XD

so, since i haven't played my ps3 version of DA:O since getting game upon game upon game to play, and for whatever reason went back to it today, i realize yet again why i'm writing this and why 'Tess' has the most screwed up version of playthrough i've ever seen no matter the console (her original profile is on PC, appearently shenanigans works for her on ps3 as well XD)

this is litterally what i played today, short and sweet compared to the hours i put into the game today, but the major point of 'WTF-shenanigans!' is pretty apparent... today's gamer issue was 'space', that lovely 'i'm a good rpg player and want to take everything not nailed down to sells for moneyz' problem we all get when there's a limit to how much cr*p you can carry... so for once, since i can't just type in 'god-haha-f-u!' and be like 'limit? there IS NO LIMIT! MUHAHAHA!' on a ps3, i had to use the 'terrible' function of 'junk-it' 'destroy-it' T.T i weep for all the money i lost... but then we come to the MAJOR problem with that, all that cr*p you don't want to get rid of because its shiney and has a name... like Ser Garlen's Sword and the Thorn of the Dead Ones specifically... which i decided to save space, throw on (at) Morrigan, because i figure that saves me space and she's not going to use them... pffft she's a mage, they don't use swords/daggers unless they're arcan-

-MORRIGAN ENTERS DUNCAN MODE ACTIVATE!-

O.o wtf?

exactly... so apparently giving Morrigan sharp-pointy-objects is 'bad' since she decides TO ACTUALLY USE THEM! o.O wtf? and no matter how many times i said 'no, use staff' she said 'F-U -whips out blades and goes on juggarnaut killing spree-' O.o wtf? and not only does she totally beat out Leliana (duelist) and Tess (arcane mage) in the combat area for some unfathomable reason, she's taking like no damage... W-T-F?

i have two theories for this, but i'll save them till after you read :3

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>What should have 'Never' happened…<p>

Somewhere in the Bracillian Forest Ruins…

"Hey Morrigan hold on to these," Tess said absentmindedly tossing Ser Garlen's (stolen) Sword and the Thorn of the Dead Gods behind her back without looking as she continued to rummage through the piles of crap in her mysteriously small bag.

"Why would I want to-" the witch's words were abruptly cut short as her pupils became the size of a grain sand at the sight of two very sharp, very pointy, objects headed her way at relatively head level. With the skills of someone having spent months with the whack-job they called 'leader' and fighting rampant things from everyday gunlock to bloody RAVENANTS! Those were new on the list as for some reason their crazed leader decided messing with ancient wards on disturbing gravestones was a good idea, dodging flying knives? Easy pickings by a longshot… still not on her favorite list of things to do though. The witch picked herself up off the floor and glared primal fury at the diminutive, and questionably insane, woman that lead them, "A _little_ warning next time would be highly appreciated before you go about tossing weapons my way!"

The white haired Warden looked back slightly and blinked, "I said 'duck'…"

"No you didn't!" Leliana tossed from the other side of fallen pillar, apparently both her and Bal had had the sense to 'hide' once Tess decided to stop for a moment and sort through things…

The Elven woman looked at the two 'cowering' for a moment before shrugging and going back about her task.

Morrigan just glared down at the small woman, tapping her foot impatiently, "T'is some reason I just had to dodge spare weapons, yes?" her tone was anything but her normal sarcasm, apparently having sharp weapons thrown at her with absurd accuracy was not on the witch's 'okay' list.

"Hmm? Yea…" The distracted Warden tossed over her shoulder at the steaming witch as she somehow removed a set of heavy plate from her tiny, tiny bag and tossed it aside.

A black brow rose a moment as the wilds mage couldn't help but wonder how she managed to get that in there… not to mention the rest of the pile of rampant loot sitting around, "Question, if you may answer," gold eyes blinked as a great sword joined the pile, "Where do you keep all that…" another clang as something she wasn't quite sure joined the rest, "and what are you doing?"

Tess tossed a pair of sissy leather gloves over her shoulder without looking, "I've got too much crap in here, it won't take anymore, so I have to sort it out to figure out what's useful and what's not…"

"Translation," Leliana said as she stepped out with Bal following not far behind her. The bard had her arms crossed as she too scrutinized their leader's weird activity, "She's trying to figure out what loot she can hawk for the most while carrying the least," There was a slight amused smirk on the red-haired woman's lips at the sight of their leader rummaging through her pack.

"Ah, standard 'money to weight' ratio is it?" Morrigan sounded absolutely bored, money was nice but the more you had the more it bogged you down, although that didn't seem to be a problem for the mini-Grey Warden for some reason. The Witch of the Wilds crossed her arms as she scrutinized their leader's activity, "That still doesn't give reason as to why **_I_** had to be the one dodging cutlery…"

Tess made a hand gesture that neither of the women understood, raising one hand about shoulder height and waving her hand back and forth. Their answer came in the form of a loud bark from the crazy woman's Mabari as he galumphed up to her side whining and wagging his stub of a tail.

Morrigna rolled her eyes, more at being ignored then the display, "Big baby…"

Leliana just shook her head, "It'd be easier to just toss all of this," she nudged her head in the direction of the 'pile' of loot their demented leader had apparently amassed without their notice. The red head looked straight at the witch, apparently having a conversation with her, "Best to stick with gems and small jewelry, least weight, highest value," the woman giggled to herself and Morrigan felt thoroughly nauseated.

"Ugh," the witch rolled her golden eyes, "as delightfully nauseating as this sight is, I'll stick over here," she turned and started walking towards the other side of the dilapidated ruins, "Preferably **_away_** from flying cutlery!"

Leliana giggled at the witch's comment, and irritation, she'd have to remember to tell Alistair about it when they got back to camp, surely it would spark another '_amusing_' discussion between the two.

Pointy ears twitched, "I sense plotting that I'm not involved in?"

Leliana stiffened for a moment, turning back on their leader and seeing that the woman hadn't moved an inch… although she had somehow managed to make half of the pile of random crap disappear and Bal was wearing what looked like a jury-rigged saddle back made from spare leathers. He barked at her, wagging his stub-tail, and the human woman could only blink, "Well then," she looked around the room, Morrigan on one end, Tess surrounded by a small armory on the other, random knife/sword combo in the center where the witch had been standing now gone-

The bard blinked, "Where did…" her blue eyes trailed the area eventually finding their way back to the Witch of the Wilds examining the 'Thorn of the Dead Gods' while Ser Garlen's (stolen) Sword was oddly already attached to her back. The bard blinked, Witch of the Wilds plus sword/dagger combo did **_not_** make sense, "Morrigan?"

Gold eyes looked up, bored as usual, "Yes, T'is something you need bard?"

Leliana absently pointed, ignoring the witch's usual dismissive tone, "I thought you'd not want those after having them thrown so casually at you," she felt she didn't need to also mention that _Mages_ didn't typically wield bladed weapons…

Morrigan shrugged flippantly, "T'is true, I've no care for them being tossed my way so carelessly," she sent a mild glare at the back of their leader's head, registered only as Tess stopped momentarily to shiver before going back to her sorting, "But I suppose there is some value in these things," she turned the swiveled dagger over, inspecting the ever-so-faint inscriptions on it in a language long dead, "Given there is _some_ magic in them…"

"That's why I didn't want to toss them!" Tess threw over her shoulder, shuffling through this armor and that while Bal snorted at her, apparently his master didn't understand the irony of her statement.

Morrigan's gold eyes looked flatly at their leader as she placed the dagger on her back beside the sword. Crossing her arms as she left the wall taking a few steps back toward the Warden, "Though T'is unusual to hand me such things, T'is not?"

There was a shrug of their leader's shoulders as she tied up her pack, turning back to the two, "What?" they both gave her a look which she sighed heavily at, "Look, you guys are just carrying **_one_** extra set of weapons," she pouted when they continued to look at her flatly, "I've got the Ancient Elven armor, all our potions, poisons, random gems, assorted herbs, three staves, two shields, five helmets, three bows, six bladed weapons, plate armor, and that set of massive Juggernaut armor…" there was an added glare to her pout as the Bard and Witch blinked at her like she was insane, "So don't complain to me about carrying an extra bow or a pair of bladed weapons…"

"You're insane," Morrigan said point blank, eyes narrowed incredulously at the smaller woman.

Leliana on the other hand had leaned behind their leader and was staring mystified at her backpack, "Where do you keep it all?" her blue eyes were glowing sapphires of admiration as she blinked away dramatic tears, "_how_ do you keep it all?"

Bal barked in a huff, all that praise should be on him, he was the one _REALLY_ carrying it all anyway.

"Mage secret," the Elven woman put up her hand between that bard and her pack, "and you're not getting a chance to look in my pack to figure it out."

The Orlesian woman dramatically sighed in defeat. One day, hopefully soon, she would find out the secrets of the magical pack.

"I _still_ don't understand why I'm carrying _these_," despite her displeased tone, crossed arms, and distrustful look, the witch had yet to remove the sword and dagger from their place snuggly on her back by her withered staff.

Tess noticed this and her ear twitched, "Right, just stab someone with them if they get too close if that makes you feel better about carrying them…"

A black brow twitched, "Why not simply give me one of those staves you're carrying instead, hmm? A weapon I can actually use?"

Somehow Tess' hands immediately went to her travel bag, her eyes became suspicious narrow slits, "Never!" she took a step back, "I don't trust you my staves…"

Morrigan groaned, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, "By the…" she breathed heavily, "Never mind, T'is your own undoing should something ill come of this," the dark woman vaguely tossed over her shoulder moving towards the door to the next room, ready to be done with this place already.

Tess grinned widely behind the woman's back. One point for Tess, Morrigan zero.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Leliana teased as she walked up behind the Warden, "Who knows what Morrigan could get up to with those weapons in hand, no?"

Crystalline eyes rolled, "Come on, I doubt she even knows how to use them."

"Hmm," Leliana wondered to herself, both of them moving towards the door the wilds mage was impatiently waiting at, "You never know truly what a person is capable of until the time comes…"

Tess paused a moment hearing the woman's words. When Leliana paused as well and looked back at the white haired woman her pointed ear twitched and a frown crossed her features, "Now I'm starting to get a bad feeling about giving Morrigan sharp pointy objects."

The bard chuckled to herself at the ex-circle mage's response.

Bal stepped ahead of them, growling to himself as he shifted his makeshift saddlebags, whatever happened was his master's fault.

xXx

Several hours of irony later and further into the Ruins…

Morrigan was laughing maniacally as she just severed the last werewolf's head from its body with the frost covered sword in her hand.

Tess and Leliana had their jaws hanging somewhere along the floor.

Bal barked enthusiastically, wagging his stub of a tail, highly approving of this side of the dark haired woman.

"Sweet Andraste's stolen knickers…" slipped from Leliana's mouth. She was a bard, a damn good bard, and she was _trained_ to use two weapons in hand, namely a sword and dagger, and be damn efficient at killing things with them. Sure, she preferred her bow, but since she had been in the party with two mages and a dog she _had_ thought she'd be the primary forward fighter… now?

"WHAT THE HELL MORRIGAN!" Tess just screamed at the top of her lungs. This had been brewing since she had taken the ancient Elven phylactery and had arcane wisdom rather forcefully shoved into her questionably stable brain that allowed her to warp magic around her and supplement it for strength. Thanks to this new 'skill' she was currently wearing the Juggarnaut armor they'd fought so hard for and had greatly decreased her carrying load. She'd also learned that the abilities of the Arcane Mage weren't simply limited to wearing heavy armor for protection but imbued her with the wisdom and skill of the Ancient Elves in how to fight with martial weapons. Since figuring this out the little Warden_ had_ hoped to test out her newfound skills with a blade…

… only for **_Morrigan_** to somehow become possessed by the spirit of Duncan and become something of a two-handed god beheading everything they came across left and right.

By the time Leliana notched an arrow her quarry was a spouting fountain of blood…

By the time Tess had beaten a skeleton off balance with her shield and drew back to deliver the final blow the thing was already shattered into dust…

When Bal went in for a lunge he found that his opponent already had a hole in its gut…

_ALL _thanks to **_Morrigan_** and her newfound fetish for pointy metal objects.

"Hmm, this is rather enjoyable, I think," The Witch grinned demonically as she sashed over to the next door with the Thorn of the Dead Ones in one hand and Ser Garlen's (stolen) Sword resting on her shoulder.

Tess' whole body twitched, "How is she doing it?" left eye twitching rampantly, "I'm in full-body massive armor, with a shield, and twice I've nearly died… _SHE!_" The elven woman pointed indignantly at the scantily clad witch walking away with a sway of her hips and skip in her step, "is _barely_ wearing anything at _all_ and gets barely a nick!" Tess raised her hands above her head in frustration, "I'M THE BATTLE-MAGE HERE!"

There was some indistinguishable scream of anguish from the white-haired woman as Leliana simply crossed her arms and 'hmp'ed to herself, "I'm the highly trained rouge and all I've done is pick locks and disable traps since she decided to go commando with those blades…" her narrowed eyes followed the dark witch as she kicked in the next door, giggling like a maniac as she jumped into the fray with another set of wolves.

Within five minutes the sounds of battle stopped and the two could clearly hear a "I'M WAITING!" from the woman in the next room.

There was a distinct **_smack!_** As Leliana's hand met her forehead quite hard.

Tess stared blankly, "First moment we get back in camp we're stealing those away from her…"

"Agreed…"

xXx

Several long and humiliating hours later back at Camp…

Alistair was poking at the main fire. Yes, poking the fire, seeing as it was the only worthwhile thing to do since the women left with the Mabari to handle the Dalish problem and the only company left him were those two weird Dwarves that tended to follow them and Sten.

The bastard-prince's eyes wandered over his shoulder spotting the semi-giant _still_ standing and watching the horizon. He'd been doing that the whole week that the women had been away and quite frankly it was getting on the Templar's last nerve.

There was a heavy sigh as strawberry blonde threw his current stick into the fire with its brethren and set his chin on his hands supported on his knees, "Well this is looking to be an _interesting_ night, don't you agree Sten?"

The Qunari gave that dismissive grunt like he always did, generally ignoring the human warrior.

"Right," Alistair vaguely nodded to himself, "Charming conversation as always," was it bad that he was actually starting to _miss_ his arguments with the witch? Sure, he hated her, but at least with her around he could pester, annoy, and generally piss her off for _some_ form of amusement. He blinked before mentally adding that Tess and Leliana at least _talked_ so they were worlds better too…

A very strange sound entered the Templar's ears, for a moment he thought he'd finally gone crazy from the silence. Without thinking his head rose off of his hands, straining his concentration to try and pick up what it was and where it was coming from. It wasn't words but sounded almost melodic, was it humming?

Alistair blinked his dark eyes, standing up to see if there was anything out there. Towards the forest there was a shift of underbrush, squinting his eyes confirmed it. As the sound grew closer he could definitely tell it was humming, something jovial, almost cocky… and oddly familiar. –_Cocky… who do I know is that confident with a lower toned voice…_- he could already mark off Leliana, any time she sang or hummed her voice rose in volume, and since he'd never heard Tess do either, and she wasn't nearly as cocky as the humming sounded, he immediately marked her off the list too.

So that left only one person capable of making that sound…

"OH WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF!" Yep, that was definitely Tess' voice, rather perturbed too…

There was silence as presumably a response was thrown back.

Something that sounded like metal hitting flesh before a silence fell followed by snide laughter and a "Oww… that bloody hurt…"

As the trio and dog came closer the Templar could hear more of their conversation, the laughing definitely wasn't Leliana and from the sound of it apparently their illustrious leader had just hurt herself.

"Might I suggest something?" the level of sing-song tone in _that_ voice just did _NOT_ sound right.

"I swear," it sounded like Tess was holding her nose, or hand over her nose, or some relative injury involving 'nose' and 'hand' combination, "By the Maker, I will have my revenge!"

There was that all too 'cheery' laughter again, and it was only now that Alistair could recognize it as the Witch's voice, simply because his mind couldn't handle 'Morrigan' and 'Laughing' in the same thought, "Come now, T'is you that gave them to me~…"

Something of a growl from their leader, but it sounded funny since there was a slight sneezing sound because of her presumably broken nose, "I had you **_CARRY_** them! You weren't supposed to _actually **USE**_ them!"

Another laugh from the witch as she stepped into the clearing of their camp, a demonic sparkle in her eye with a devious Cheshire grin she usually saved for tormenting him with. She took about five steps into the camp site before twirling, yes **_twirling_**, on her heel to grin wider at the frowning Bard and blankly staring Warden holding her nose, "T'is your problem, I think I shall hold on to these a moment…" he couldn't see it but Alistair _knew_ from the shift in her voice her eyes narrowed in a wicked smirk at the other women, something cocky, devious, and full of 'I win' in them, "… Savor the victory this newfound skill affords me!"

It was at the mention of 'skill' that Alistair actually took the moment to look the witch over, not that he'd willing do it beyond curiosity mind you, and noticed something that _definitely_ should not have been there. Strapped to the Witch's back, on either side of her 'normal' staff, was a long sword and swiveled dagger, both covered in a layer of ice and coated in blood… lots of it.

For a moment all the poor male Warden could do was stare… _Morrigan_ plus bladed weapons did **_not_** make sense…

"Oh no you don't!" Suddenly a wave of red rushed at the black haired woman, "Give those to me RIGHT NOW!"

In an act of agility Alistair was unfamiliar with attributing to a _MAGE_ Morrigan hopped, yes _hopped_, away from the Rouge-woman, still grinning like mad as she turned around and dashed towards her side of the camp. Leliana growled something unintelligible before rushing after the woman.

Alistair was still staring at the spot the Witch of the Wild's had inhabited when Tess, still holding her obviously bleeding under her hand nose, walked into his line of sight. At the sight of their leader, holding a broken nose and in plate armor no less, the Templar couldn't help but blink. She stared at him for a good ten seconds, just letting the sight soak in before his brain mustered the necessary amount of 'common sense' to ask the obvious questions, "Why are you wearing plate armor?" he pointed at her, "Why is Leliana on a murderous rampage after Morrigan?" he pointed at them as they ran by, Morrigan still grinning like demon with Leliana screaming some form of righteous fury as the witch managed to continue evading her, "and perhaps more importantly," he cleared his throat, both for dramatic effect and to allow what he was about to say sink in, "Why does **_MORRIGAN_** have bladed weapons?" at the end of his inquiry his left eye justifiably twitched as a somewhat crazed look came about the male Warden.

For a moment Tess just stared blankly at him, holding her broken nose.

He stared back, eye still twitching.

"Witch get back here!" Leliana screamed as she apparently pulled out her bow trying to 'pin' the woman down.

Evil laughter spread through the came as Morrigan continued to dodge, right past the two Wardens as arrows went flying over their heads…

Pointed ear twitched, "Let's just say a lot happened in the Bracillian Forest and leave it at that…" and with that the female Grey Warden stepped past her fellow member and towards her tent, mumbling something about getting bandages for her nose.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** ... yes

Theory 1: being a shapeshifter apparently gives you amazing combat abilities no one else was freakin' aware of thanks to animal senses, constitution, and whateverthehellelse being a shapeshifter adds to your stats...

Theory 2: Duncan was really Morrigan's daddy and aparently badass blade-weilding sexiness runs in her genes, this is the REAL reason Flemeth never let her wield a sword before... like 'The Killer' in the REAL 'WANTED'... i'm invoking Naruto-genetic-rules here, note the salt n' pepper hair on both of them -points it out-

-munches popcorn- yes, i've spent too much time looking a peoples' hair...

and this is apparently the REAL reason Morrigan has 'ice-weapons' from day one... XD

god... i even started new games for all the other openings and NOT ONE of the other ones has this kind of shenanigans problem Tess does... -shrugs- go figure, i make a character that breaks the game XD

and come on peeps! you know its made of awesome and want to say something :3 (review -.-)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	11. When in pt2

**A/N:** this is rough as all hell but i just couldn't stop laughing XD so yea, i'm on a kick for DA:O, go figure :3

Wanna thank nh09jrb for their review, i like ones that actually tell what i do good and bad :3 plus yea, rant away, PLEASE! i do it, no reason no one else shouldn't XD

so where's this baby come from? no idea honestly, totally not what i was thinking when i thought about 'pt.2' for the in Orzammar bit, but i was playing Orzy again today and was just 'ugh, dusttown, dwarves, politics' then lightbulb slapped me in the face and i decided screw it, i'mma have fun here for once :D

so yea, that... btw, there's a reference to a character in another popular BioWare franchise in this chappy, they are the almighty and made of awesome, you can has cookies if you guess the game and character right :3

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>'When in Orzammar…' part 2<p>

Orzammar… again.

The great city underground, named after the first of the smith caste, one of the seven brothers of dwarven legend. The last remaining pinnacle of a great a long history bound as tightly to the earth as the lyrium the people that inhabit it mine daily. Shaped by the glory of tradition, honor, ancestors and paragons past.

… and home to one of the worst reputations and legend all its own…

"DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" the crowd of dwarves at Tapsters shouted in rapt succession as they watched the two surfacer women bottom up what had to of been their third drinks for the evening.

"AHHH!" Tess, mighty Grey Warden and paragon of truth, justice, sacrifice, and her people let out loudly as she slammed the mug of ale down on the counter, causing a dent in the poor thing seeing as the arcane mage was too tipsy to realize her powerful magic translated to physical strength and inhibitions left a while ago…

"Hm hm hm," Wynne gave a witty smile to her junior mage, setting her mug down simply on the bar. Age and experience had certainly taught her well in her later years and she could easily tell that for all the Warden's bluster she was seconds away from falling off her stool. There was a twinkle in the elder mage's eye, enjoying the frivolity of the little elf, reminding her of her crass youth, "Age before beauty I see?"

A pointed ear twitched before the white haired elf turned on the equally white haired human, her eyes narrowed in skepticism and liquor, "Huh? Noooo… wai… wha… no," she pointed wobbly at the older mage, "Yur… yer…" there was a snort, "yea, yer older 'n me!" a plated thumb hit her chest armor and the small nudge nearly sent the mighty Warden tumbling off her stool.

Luckily a large, if extremely irritated at this blustering stupidity, hand grabbed the smaller woman's pauldron and held her in place on the barstool until the wobbling subsided… mildly, "Hrm…"

Both pointed ears twitched excessively, "Wassat?" said drunken elf turned on the semi-giant holding her to her chair, that same skeptic-yet-drunk narrowed look around her crystalline eyes, "I… I know that growl!"

Sten tried real hard to not roll his eyes, mostly so he wouldn't lose sight of the woman that lead them so she wouldn't somehow miraculously fall flat on her face, "Warden, is this truly… right?" violet eyes narrowed on the 'glaring' smaller woman, "Frivolity is understandable, but this seems excessive…" another dismissive growl threatened to release itself from Sten's chest but the grey man suppressed it in hopes of not sparking their leader's even more distracted attention.

Wynne could only laugh at the sight, Sten their stoic foreign warrior having to put up with likes of their magical powerhouse of a leader. The elder mage couldn't help it, it was rather funny to watch especially since normally Tess at least listened to the man, while drunk she seemed to have the attention span of a gold fish and wondered from one topic to the next in the middle of a sentence, if she could even form a sentence, and Sten, poor Sten didn't know how to deal with it. The older woman laughed as Tess managed to remove the semi-giant's hand from her armor and was spinning on the barstool much to their chaperone's chagrin.

"Well, lookit that," a gruff voice laced with booze rode up on Wynne's other side, she was facing Tess at the bar so could only catch a glimpse of red out of the corner of her eye, "tall woman like you drinking like a real child of the stone."

Wynne assumed it was a compliment. Dwarves prided themselves on being… well, Dwarves and Dwarves were made of two things: Stone and Ale. The older mage grabbed her mug, already filled courtesy of the barmaid, and brought it close to her lips, "I've had my share of drinks in my time, its all a matter of knowing 'how' to drink not so much 'what' it is," with that she indulged in whatever it was offered in the mug, probably not a sound idea but why besmirch the hospitality? Dwarves rarely ever showed it after all.

"HAH!" the undoubtedly stout man behind her slapped the bar, downing his own drink before putting the mug on the bar for a refill and wiping the ale from his scruff and mustache, "That's my kinda woman!" he placed a mug of whatever he was having in front of the elder mage, causing her to turn and get a better look at him. Short, red haired man, not much of a beard as over grown stubble underneath four long large braids that stemmed from his mustache and connected with muttonchops to short trimmed bright red hair, his armor seemed fitting as it was red steel and matched his overall looks, the only non-red thing about him was his bright blue eyes, similar to their Warden Leader's. he gave her a cocksure grin and spoke in a thick gruff accent, "This one's on me, always hard to find someone knows how ta drink right!"

At the mention of drinking right both heard a commotion behind them. Turning, Wynne and her new drinking buddy were introduced to the sight of Tess, yes Tess the curious, awkward, and questionably insane, Morrigan's words, last of two Grey Wardens in Feralden standing on stage with a group of equally drunk dwarven minstrels all trying to sing some dated shanty not a single one of them knew the words to. One man brave enough to stand in front of the rest gave up that song and started a jaunty tune all on his own raising a mug to the normally smaller woman who now towered over all of them:

"_Better to die under a Dragon's Claw_," a raise of his mug and cheer from the crowd…

"_With Spells-blazing-roaring-an'-raw_!" The elven woman roared herself raising her mug…

"_Than to play ambassadorial games_," the stout man continued…

"_With the blood of Dalish in her veins!_" Tess shouted before sloshing her mug again. Off to the side Wynne noticed Sten had his head in his hand.

"_Off to fight, 'cause Humans can't!_" the older woman's new drinking buddy shouted raising his mug to the tune.

"_With dwarves instead of a Clan!_" the elven woman grinned across the tavern to the red haired man with a tip of her head and raising her drink.

"_But she'll be true to Orzammar's dream_," the original singer of the song continued.

"_and live and die a Warden Queen!_" with that the 'Warden Queen' tipped back her mug and drank.

"_Fooooooooooooorrrr…._" The original singer, a deep baritone man with bright hazel eyes and a rosy tint to his scared face drew out the word opening both arms wide gathering the crowd of rowdy drunken dwarves into the song.

"_She is the Warden Queen!_" his shout was echoed with a pumped fist and a chorus of, "_HURRAH!_"

"_Hurrah for the Warden Queen!_" The entire bar shouted in unison and joviality as Tess was still tipping back her mug.

"_And it is, it is a glorious thing-"_ The original singer, his strawberry hair and scruffy face with the 'X' scare on his left cheek and scraps over his eye did a flourish as he leaned in with both arms and the entire bar just as Tess removed the mug from her lips with a deep hearty sigh.

"_TO BE THE WARDEN QUEEN!_" the dark skin and tattooed woman shouted at the top of her lungs while tossing up her mug and falling back into the crowd with the sounds of whoops and hollers.

Sten still had his head in his hand.

Wynne was clapping her hands, leaning back on the bar and loving the atmosphere.

"Quite sumthing that one is," Her red-haired drinking buddy grinned cheekily, holding his own mug up to the woman the whole bar was cheering for that night.

"That she is," The older mage couldn't help but smirk. Here she remembered this timid little thing that sequestered herself away in the library any spare moment reading only Maker knew what, probably including those _Saucy_ books the Templars tried to sneak about, and here she was openly grinning like a fool, smiling and laughing, even shouting a drunken jaunty with a crowd of Dwarves surrounding her. Yes, the older Mage couldn't help but smirk at the sight, how much the young woman certainly had changed since leaving the Tower so long ago.

The night grew long, drinks continued, an arm wrestle or five were had, all ending with a giggling white haired elf-mage and a turned over table, a couple more shanties, one provided by the scarred dwarf being his own variation of 'I am the very model of a Dwarven Warrior', with plenty of shots of Sten having to step in here and there, both for the benefit of the establishment and the Warden's meager purse, while Wynne sat at the bar drinking all the chaos in and enjoying the company of the Warrior caste at her side. She never caught his name but the old woman got the feeling they'd be seeing him again so it didn't quite matter.

… And somewhere along the while the crowd had let go of their new favorite Warden and she promptly fell flat on her face. Her last words that anyone could understand were, "Nuggin'… nug, nug… nuging… nug…"

xXx

"Zevran," a clipped Orlesian accent spoke.

"Yes my friend," a suave Antivan accent responded.

"I'm starting to wonder how you get us into these situations," Leliana stared ahead blankly at the sight of five casteless brigands in front of them.

"It's a gift," the assassin grinned ear to ear brandishing his daggers.

"Hmp," the bard frowned pulling out her bow. True, there weren't any guards, seeing as there was some commotion over at some bar on the south side of the commons, on the exact opposite side they were in fact, so it wasn't like there was anyone _watching_ this place that _should_ have been. The red-head's eyes narrowed on the five stout men in leathers, each brandishing axes and relatively cheap looking ones too, inside the shop the two rogues _had_ planned on hitting as a means to earn a few extra coins.

"Oi, what's this, two armed surfacers," the man in the middle spoke, eyebrows low as he glanced back at the sniveling man behind him, "These friends of yours?"

"W-what! N-no!" the squirming dwarf looked rattled, glancing quickly from the pack of duster dwarves to the two surfacers, "G-get out of h-here! T-this is none of y-your concern!"

Zevran raised a blonde brow, twirling his knives, "Oh really, is it?" the elf took a casual step closer, lowering his arms as if to put his weapons away, Leliana gave him a worried glance, keeping her bow drawn and aimed at the little man in the middle, "That's not what I see, no, no, no…" the Antivan clicked his tongue, waving a finger back and forth as if chiding a small child, "This looks like a simple matter of extortion, yes?"

The little man in the middle grunted, narrowing his blunt eyes, "That's not what I'd call it surfacer," he put his hands on his hips as if too look 'down' on the taller man, "I'd say it's an investment," he waved his hand back towards the shop owner, "This fine man was simply negotiating his pay for our services, helping to keep his business safe from any… mishaps."

"Hmp, sounds like a bunch of thieves to me," red brows furrowed as Leliana couldn't help the venom in her voice, she'd done some nasty things in her time as a bard but shaking down poor merchants? Anything she did was all for 'The Game' and dealt with those rich enough to pay them, not people scrapping for their lives… right?

The stout man frowned further, wrinkling the casteless tattoos that jutted off his lips and circled around his jaw, "You say thieves, I say entrepreneurs looking out for the welfare of the common people," he gripped a fist in front of him, "this is a business, and if you're not going to be donating to the 'Safety for Strangers' fund then I'd suggest you leave…"

"Is that a threat?" Leliana was close to seeing red, scum like this gave rouges like them a bad name.

The blunt man's fists tightened at his sides, obviously fed up with the conversation, "I'd say you're finished if you don't leave now!"

"Tsk tsk," with the glaring contest between Leliana and the brute running the gang everyone had forgotten about the lone male elf, "And here I was having fun watching the two of you go back and forth, such a pity," with his final words the Assassin, who was standing behind the smaller man, flicked his wrist and ran his blade along the thug's throat, slitting it cleanly.

The thug had a moment to blink before gurgling as he drowned in his own blood. The small man was dead before he even hit the ground. His comrades all gasped, stared at the body of their 'leader' then to the man with the suddenly cold eyes that had killed him. The gulping in the room was audible.

Zevran flicked his blade, making sure there was nothing on it, "I'd suggest next time you take a closer look at your targets before threatening them," the elven man intoned nonchalantly, replacing his blade without giving the thugs a single look.

There was a squeal before the four made a mad dash towards the door, completely ignoring the armed woman between them and it.

Leliana blinked a second before sidestepping the stampede of dwarven men then looked at her companion, "You just did that!"

"Hmm?" Zevran blinked light eyes at the taller woman as he looked away from perusing what was in the store.

"Zevran!" the bard shouted eye twitching in irritation.

"BY THE STONE!" both rogues were momentarily distracted by the shout, both having completely forgotten about the shop owner. The man was staring at the dead body on his floor, seemingly ripping his hair out, "Jarvia's going to kill me!" his voice became almost a squeak, "One of her men, here, dead, in my store!" the man looked around frantically, twitching almost as he looked upon the surfacers that did this, "I MUST GET OUT OF HERE!" he yelled at them before grabbing a satchel and running out the front door.

Both rogues only blinked, caught by surprise at the suddenly empty store.

Zevran was the first to snap out of it, accented with a suave grin on his bronzed features, "See, it all works out."

Leliana's hands were twitching, something in the back of her mind was telling her this wasn't going to be as easy as it suddenly seemed, "I don't know… this doesn't seem right…"

"Oh please," the male elf threw over his shoulder nonchalantly, already finding a convenient bag and tossing gems and other small precious and valuable looking objects in it. For once it seemed his plan was going to work out after all.

The bard tore her eyes away from the door, almost afraid that by doing so she'd invite something in, but had to glare at Zevran, "Honestly, you kill a man while he's shaking down the shop owner then steal from the man's shop once he's run away fearing for his life?"

Pointed ear twitched, "Yes, yes that sounds about right…" he tapped a finger to his chin contemplating on which was worth more the black stone on silver or the topaz on ivory.

"That… just… ugh!" fed up Leliana just threw her hands in the air. The whole situation was messed up; here they just wanted to make a little money on the side now this? Andraste's stolen knickers…

"Ooooh, this looks nice," the amount of admiration in the elf's voice drew the bard's attention and she spotted him strapping a new dagger to his waist along with what looked like a new helmet. The elf turned to the human woman in a flourish, "What do you think?"

Blue eyes just stared at him for a good long second, blinked before she sighed deeply placing her hands on her hips, "I think-"

Suddenly the door to the shop slammed open, "No body move! I'm the captain of the guard and there's been word sent of a murder…" before the stout man could finish his sentence his eyes took in the scene in front of him. To his left was a human woman not far away, hands on her hips and bright blue eyes blinking at him. In the back of the shop directly in front of him was a smaller, yet still taller than him, elven man sporting a stupid looking hat with both arms out wide who just blinked at him. And in the center of the whole room was a bleeding corpse…

The Captain blinked.

Leliana and Zevran blinked.

The gathering guards blinked.

"GET THEM!" The captain shouted brandishing his maul as both he and his cohorts went after the two rouges in the tiny enclosed space.

"Oh sod it…"

xXx

"There is absolutely no way I am even remotely going to attempt what you suggest," The Witch of the Wilds frowned openly down at the armored clad _idiot_ crouched in front of her.

"Ooh come on~" Alistair whined, waving his hand with some strange root or something in it, "Just for a minute, I promise I won't tell anyone…" it took a grievous amount of effort to suppress the snicker, luckily he was looking _away_ from the Witch before mumbling under his breath, "… much."

"I heard that," gold eyes bore into the back of the man's strawberry blonde head as Morrigan crossed her arms over her not-so-covered chest, "T'is truly a wonder how you function on a daily basis when so easily distracted by such stupidities…"

Alistair stopped, whatever he was doing, for a moment to look 'up' at the moody Witch over his shoulder, "Don't tell me you never wanted one?"

Her gold demon eyes just narrowed on him, "Why in the world would I want a giant hairless rodent?" a snide smirk came to the edge of her lips as her hands traveled to her hips, "Especially when all I'd have to do is shave you and I'd have one."

The not-quite-Templar shivered as he turned back away from the woman, dangling the weird root that merchant had said nugs liked, "I don't even want to think about it," he waved the bait, catching the nug's attention at the end of the alley behind the nug-seller's stall.

"What, T'is something wrong with the idea of being hairless?" Morrigan hadn't had any fun all day what with the twit following her around the stalls, not to mention the complete lack of anything useful being sold. This was the closest she'd gotten in hours to getting back at him; oh he was going to squirm. That very specific grin spread across her face, "Hmm, yes, I think you'd do quite nicely completely shaved up and perhaps oiled…"

The not-Templar shivered, trying to not imagine what she was saying and ignoring the Witch's decidedly _too-close_ proximity as she leaned over him, "What are you trying to do, decide how to cook me!" the young man twitched, losing the large rodent's interest for the moment, "What next, how to dress and eat me?"

"Mm, there is a thought," the cat who ate the cannery smile just would not leave her lips, he said it not her! A black brow rose increasing the smirk and the ideas running through her mind, "T'is several suggestions I could make on both points."

Alistair nearly met head to ground at the seriously pondering way the Witch said that, as if she were actually putting thought into… "Wait," he turned back to look at her over his shoulder, nug currently forgotten, "I think we're having two _completely_ different conversations here…"

Morrigan had a slim finger tapping her chin as she remained hovering over the crouched not-Templar, "Yes, I do believe so," her pondering look left for something decidedly more devious, "Though T'is no loss of mine what you think…" The absolutely predatory way she _loomed_ over him made Alistair squirm.

"Right!" the man said clippedly, shooting straight up on his feet and looking purposely away from the dark woman behind him, "I'm going to completely wipe this conversation from my mind, yes, that sounds like a right plan of action," Alistair dropped his fist into his hand as if confirming his decision.

"Oh really?" the Witch raised a black brow in amusement, standing straight herself, just leering at him with his back turned to her, "And what other _action_ are you so prone to take now that you are upright and alone…" the way the plate wearing man shivered sent a giddy thrill of evil through the Witch as she took a step closer to him, leaning in conspiratorially, "T'were you to simply stay here and decide to play with your… _hairless rodent_, I'd not say a word to our dear leader…" there was too much, _too much_ sarcasm and innuendo in her voice to stop her from nearly giggling.

"THAT'S IT!" Alistair threw his hands up in the air, dropping the nug-bait and turned around towards the entrance of the alley, "You've done it Witch, completely ruined nugs for me!"

Morrigan tried keeping her evil snickering to herself. The absolutely red face she saw on him as he passed was worth it, all the inflection and disgusting innuendo and suggestions of… of… nevermind, just for _that_ look on his face! Priceless.

Shaking her head the black haired Witch of the Wilds looked down at her feet, grabbed the nug-bait and offered it to her cohort, "Pleasure doing business," she patted the small under-earth animal's head as it took the bait from her, before standing up straight, turning on her heel and walking out after the now-moody not-quite-Templar. Morrigan had a wicked grin plastered to her face as she stepped out of the alley to the site of Alistair pacing. She couldn't help the barb that immediately left her mouth, "New pastime is it? Needing to catch the breeze after all that excitement?"

That evil, evil grin.

Light eyes just narrowed indignantly at the dark woman, "You are an evil, evil witch."

If anything the woman's golden eyes simply sparkled, "T'is such a sweet compliment," she reached out with a pale arm and slim fingers, patting the side of Alistair's scowling face, that glint of mischief never once leaving her eyes.

The man recoiled immediately but not completely out of arms reach, "Ugh!" he rubbed the side of his face she'd touched on his shoulder plates, "Eew, witchy germs…"

Surprisingly Morrigan simply laughed at his reaction, and neither of them knew why.

Whatever was left of their 'strange' moment was ruined as in during their interaction both Witch and not-quite-Templar moved towards a certain shop. A certain shop that just had its door burst open with a cloud of smoke coming out of it along with loud screaming and yelling as two very familiar rogues ran for their lives.

"Leliana, Zevran?" Alistair was the only one to find his voice, seeing as both rogues were running towards them and Morrigan didn't usually address anyone directly unless it was a snide comment to him or their fearless leader.

"Ah! Comrades!" Zevran gave the awkward pair a dashing grin as if it was completely normal what they were currently doing… on second thought, it **_was_** completely normal for them to be running from a horde of angry insert-army-here, "Good to see you!" he tossed a bag in Alistair's direction as the two groups passed each other, "Hold on to that until we get back!"

"Run Zevran, leave them to themselves and just _RUN!_" Leliana shouted over her shoulder as she ran through a large arched door.

"_Coming~!_" the elven man shouted back at the bard, waving a mock salute and a wink at their two comrades who were just staring as he disappeared into the diamond quarter.

"_GET THEM!_" a gruff male voice shouted followed by a horde of coughs and wheezing. The captain leaned over to cough out whatever kind of smoke the rouges had used to run away.

In the momentary chaos with Alistair just looking dumbstruck by what just happened and the small army of dwarves piling out of the smoking building, Morrigan took one look at the guards, the bag laying open in the _idiot's_ hands and did the first smart thing that came to mind.

She snatched it from him and hid it in her leathers.

"Hey!" the swift motion of weight leaving his hands drew Alistair's attention. Immediately he turned on the witch, inches from her face with a confused childishly angry pout on his face about to say something-

"You two!" both parties' attention was turned towards the stout man standing in front of them, "You're with those two thieves aren't you?"

"Never seen them…" "No idea who you mean…" both Alistair and Morrigan waved their hands in front of them, empty, in a defensive way as they automatically denied any allegiance to the two running amok in the diamond quarter by now.

The Dwarven guard narrowed his eyes on them a second, "So you two aren't in the party with the Grey Warden?"

Alistair looked flabbergasted while Morrigan simply raised a brow.

Luckily, she spoke first, "Can you not see this here is a Grey Warden?" She waved her hand in a flourish towards Alistair.

The little man blinked, his surprise only marginally showing, "He's a Grey Warden too?" the captain scratched his beard, "I thought the Warden they let in was an elf woman?"

Alistair raised his hand as if to say something but again he was beaten by the Witch.

"T'is some _other_ Warden then," hands on her hips and gold eyes scowling down at the little man, "We've been traveling together for _years_ and my… 'friend' and I have been making our way to the deep roads…"

The stout man's eyes widened slightly, "By the Stone, is it already time for him?" both humans blinked but didn't show any further confusion as the little man scrutinized Alistair for a second, "My, they must have gotten him young for it to already be his time…"

Alistair looked confused.

Morrigan brought a hand to her eye and sniffled, "Y-yes, T'is a true tragedy," sniffle, "Such a short time, and I've only known him since that night in the Wilds and been following him since…"

Alistair turned surprised wide eyes on the witch, by the Maker what was she doing!

"Oh…" the Dwarven captain grasped Morrigan's free hand, the one she wasn't _fake_-sniffling into, "I'm so sorry ma'am, I didn't realize…" the little man turned skeptical eyes on Alistair, as if judging he wasn't good enough, _FOR MORRIGAN!_ "You better spend what time you got left with her, lad, ya may be young, but don't waste the small time ya have left!"

There was some undetermined sound from the Witch of the Wilds that made Alistair cringe, just because of how _fake_ it sounded and the fact that it was winning over this dwarf. The human man cringed, luckily the dwarf assumed it was from the idea of his inevitable 'death', "Y-yes… that."

The dark woman sniffled again and started shaking as she _modestly_ turned away from the stout man.

The little man patted her held hand, "I'll… I'll leave you two alone," he let Morrigan's hand drop and patted Alistair's side compassionately, "The Deep Roads are that way boy," he nodded his head down a path off the arch towards the Diamond quarter, "I'll… leave you two be…" with that the Dwarven captain departed their presence to continue his chase of the 'thieves' after his men.

It was eerily quiet.

Alistair shuttered, "Never," he muttered purposely looking ahead and not at the witch, "Never… do that again."

That was the final straw, for as those words slipped his lips Morrigan doubled over revealing that she hadn't been 'trembling' with tears but holding back rampant laughter.

xXx

"Hmm, that was a rather dull trip," Shale intoned as it stepped outside the Shaperate. Crystal covered hands made it to its hips as the construct looked down at the war-dog skipping out of the hall of memories, "Can't imagine what it would want in there… all those books…"

Bal snorted at the living stone, he'd found the trip to the dwarven equivalent of a library rather enjoyable.

Shale rolled its glowing eyes, "Well now that that's done with what now?" the golem crossed its arms looking out at the glowing stones and lava not far off from their position, "Cheery place."

The Mabari next to it barked, wagging his stubby tail.

The living stone glanced down at him, "Yes, I'm sure _you_ find all of this interesting, digging holes all the time," knuckles shifted down back to hips as the stone narrowed its eyes on the dog, "finally seeing what's underneath it all, hmm?"

The dog only rolled over.

"Hmp," Shale grunted disapprovingly, "At least you find this interesting, all I hear is a lot of talk about golems yet see not a single one," the stone shifted in what was probably a sigh, "such a depressing thought being one of a kind."

Bal shot to his feet, barking.

"What, what is it?" Shale first looked at the dog, then at what the dog was barking at and spotted two familiar personages. The golem's crystal covered shoulders slumped, "Oh, them…"

"Shale! Hide us!" Leliana said as soon as she came within speaking distance of the hulking rock, quickly making it behind the construct and peering out from behind it.

"By the-" was as far as Shale got before another blur made it to its other side.

"Yes, my gargantuan rocky friend, hide us!" Zevran peered out from the other side of the stone construct, both rogues hiding poorly in plain sight.

There was a gravelly growl as Shale rolled its eyes.

Bal glanced at the rogues, raising a doggie brow before turning back to the way they came, spotting the large group of heavily armed short men. As the man that appeared to lead the band of guards stepped forward Bal whined to himself, this always seemed to happen.

"Y-you, golem!" the short little man pointed at Shale, "Those two are wanted for evading arrest, theft and murder…"

Shale crossed its arms, scowling as only rock could at the tiny, tiny squishy man, "And what do you plan to do about it? Drag them out from behind me?"

The guard captain noticeably gulped while the rest of his men looked around skeptical. They were used to dealing with drunks, duels gone wrong, and darkspawn. Golems didn't fall under the three 'D's.

"Y-yes, well…" the captain swallowed hard again, Shale's non-blinking glowing glare boring into his brain.

"Tell you what," the construct said plainly glancing down at the two cowering behind it, "Let them give some reason to their innocence and you walk away, or I take you and all your men and squish them into a nice fine paste and spread it all over walls down here, hmm?"

Silence could be heard.

The captain swallowed nervously, "W-well," he looked at the two rouges, "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"We were framed!" "We just walked into the shop!" "There was a dead body!" "No one was around!" "I just wanted silks and pillows!" the two started shouting out random anythings that sounded remotely relevant to their cause.

"A-and the thieving?" the captain gulped just _feeling _those glowing eyes narrow on him.

"We didn't take anything!" "The place was hit before we got there!" both human and elf rouge turned out their pockets revealing the only things they had between them was a pair of knives, bow, and a few paperclips.

"What's with the paperclips?" one of the random guards asked the one next to him, only to get elbowed for it.

The guard captain cleared his throat, completely avoiding the stone giant's gaze on him, "T-then what about the running?"

"You scared us half to death!" "There was a body and then **_BAM!_** In walk a troupe of armed dwarves…" "I thought you were going to kill us!" "… what's wrong with paperclips?" Leliana was holding her heart like she was having a panic attack, which she slightly was, while Zevran was standing with a pout looking at the guards.

Shale didn't care for this situation anymore, "Is it done, can I go now?" the golem's glowing eyes narrowed as it glared down at the little, tiny, miniscule man, "Or do I have to start decorating?"

There was some form of mannish squeal but no one quite knew where it came from.

"Free to go!" the guard captain raised his hands, backing away slowly. He and his men knew the power of golems, and while some other warriors were foolish enough to face one, he was not, he rather liked living and the idea of keeping his job, and head, for the foreseeable future, "S-sorry for the misunderstanding… we'll just be… going… now," and with that he and his mean turned heel and ran back to the commons, bent on finding the '_real_' killer.

As soon as the band of motley guards was gone Shale sighed deep and gravelly, "How does It put up with such foolishness and make it seem so easy is a right wonder…"

Bal barked wagging his stubby tail, agreeing with the stone for once.

Leliana held a hand over her chest, breathing out a deep sigh, "Thank goodness that's over with," she placed her hands on her hips sighing deeply, "Now to put this nonsense behind me…"

"Aw it was fun~," Zevran stretched as he sauntered up to his fellow rogue, "good times all around."

The red-head just stared at him with narrowed eyes before putting her head in her hand, "Dear Andraste…"

"Tell me knickers are involved?" the elf could only grin like the maniac he was at the look the human woman gave him. He nudged her in the arm with his elbow, "Come on, it was fun, to play the game for a little while longer."

Leliana looked at him sidelong, lowering her hand as a more thoughtful expression came over her features, "I… suppose… perhaps… maybe," a light smile tugged at her lips as she looked away from the 'other' demented elf.

"Ahh, the joy of a job done well, what I like to hear," The assassin said as he rummaged through his pockets, "Now, to the victor go the spoils!" he pulled out his hand and…

There was a paperclip…

Leliana just stared at the piece of metal in the center of his hand… blinked, then started laughing. The spoils didn't even matter anymore; the whole fiasco had been a fumble from the start and a means to alleviate boredom. In that respect, it was a complete success.

"Yes, yes, marvel at the piece of tiny metal," Shale pushed the two rogues towards the exit of the diamond quarter and more specifically towards their inn, "Now get a move on you two, I'll not have either of you out of my sight to cause more trouble."

"Aww…" "Come on!" the two whined as they were slowly pushed into the commons by the living stone.

Bal, taking up the rear, just shook his head. Bipeds were silly.

xXx

As the group from the diamond quarter made their way through the commons they picked up Morrigan and Alistair on the way back to their inn. Morrigan looked entirely too pleased with herself and Alistair was stricken into silence. No one said anything beyond that point.

Upon making it to their inn on the other hand…

"What the-" "TESS!" "Well It certainly had fun didn't It…" "Mmm… I can see this all day."

Morrigan merely shook her head at the sight.

Wynne passed out asleep at one table with a bottle of wine a few glasses surrounding her. Sten was sitting in the corner leaning on his sword, eyes closed but it was hard to tell if he was asleep or just meditating. And Tess… Well, their vaulted leader was passed out on the floor, stripped to her smalls with doodles all over her, NOT her tattoos, as she snored loudly spread eagle with a bottle in one hand, a pair of boxers in the other and more than enough sovereigns lying on the floor around her to make one wonder what the hell she did while they were gone.

Oh and a bill.

Bal whined as he sat next to the witch, not sure what to think of his master at the moment.

A hand came down on the dog's head making him stop, as Morrigan held a mischievous smirk on her lips as everyone else fretted over what they'd missed, "At least she's wearing clothes this time…" it was really hard to repress the snort that threatened to escape the Witch of the Wilds' throat, "Sort of…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** again, thanks to those that review, i'm kinda sad its been awhile, but quality is nice :3 its funny, i'm sure i've mentioned this before but this story actually gets more hits then my others, except maybe 'Who you Callin' Hyuuga' but that's that... my semi-epic-thing which i'm working on actually... Smite just likes to crawl up on me at weird moments...

i still want reviews T.T and you can make one for each chap individually since they're each their own story... just in the 'same' world... sorta XD (Foof! definitely stands out :P)

c'mon, you know you wanna :3 cookies~

and no, this didn't involve copious amounts of alcohol or personal experience... maybe XD

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	12. No Longer pt1

**A/N:** by the nine i could not resist any longer... 10-some-k and this baby is just the 'start' of this 'quest' line... oh the horror i could do... XD why, why is there NEVER a quest like this in any game? XD

okay, as for the 'where in the nine h-lls did this come from?' several points, one being a lovely story called 'First Impressions' by KylaBosch, which is a lovely take inspired by a funny GB pic of Ali and Morri, and their story is where i got the names for 'them' while the rest is thanks to goggle-searching 'names' and having a jolly time trying to figure out acceptable 'close enoughs' and fem/men interchangables... Two, being a hilarious 'RPG Inspirational Poster' of the series of 'Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG' consisting of 'certain' cursed items and never, ever, again using them for 'fun' and creative uses... AKA: plot-loops and 'hilarity ensues'... just up my alley obviously~ ... not to mention my own 'trials and tribulations' in the lovely old school pen and paper style game of D and D... i swear to whatever gods above, those that do NOT know DnD or who Mr. Welch are officially revoked of their geek cards :3

also, special thanks to nh09jrb for their special contribution of being quarter-board-target for the insanity that is my creative process... they can tell you, THERE'S **A LOT** MORE TO THIS... XD and being generally awesome with their own stories :3

so, without further ado...

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>Things Mr. Welch can 'No Longer' do… pt. 1<p>

One day…

"Okay, somebody explain to me just what the hell happened last night," Cold crystalline eyes accompanying the oddly 'lower' toned voice peered across the table at what were 'normally' her companions. With the ensuing silence, brought on by the uncomfortable realization of just '_what'_ had become of them it was easy to understand why they were all… _distracted_. 'Tess'… the normally 'female' Warden scratched the faint white stubble on 'his' chin before coughing, still not used to the sound of 'his' voice, "Seriously, why the hell am I suddenly a man?" his ear twitched as he glanced at a mirror not far off catching sight of the absolutely scrumptious male elf with the dark red tattoos, scruffy white stubble, and those alluring crystal colored eyes, "A very sexy Elf-man…"

"Someone's not conceited or anything," a very bored sounding, now shirtless, pale skinned and well-toned 'man' snorted, running a hand through 'his' black hair.

"Hey!" 'Terry', now fully turned to the full length mirror in 'his' room eyed his form, turning it around and examining it approvingly, "I'm sexy and I know it!" those now-male and dangerously suave and hansom crystal colored eyes turned to those bored looking gold ones of the 'man' who spoke, "Not that I can't say much for you, Morgan!"

At the… '_Warlock's'_ glare the demented still-smaller-then-him white-haired elf-mage grinned wider.

A strawberry blonde 'woman' not standing far off from the… '_Warlock_' snorted. At the unusually high toned sound she put her hand over her mouth, "By the Maker I sound like a girl!"

The gold-eyed Warlock just glared at the now-woman not-quite-Templar, "So far, right now you _ARE_ a woman..." those eyes narrowed further, "idiot."

Another glaring contested ensued, only now completely reversed, with the formally 'Witch' of the wilds glowering down with her svelte form at the stocky woman in armor.

"Oh that's just too hilarious to even look at," 'Terry' tried so hard not to snicker.

The rest of the group was still in relative shock…

'Lenard' was staring down at his now topless form, since the primary concern of all the former females was about how they no longer fit their 'shirts' in the right way. A red brow was lightly twitching as his baby-blues just stared at the lacking cleavage, broader shoulders that stopped 'him' from wearing his previous 'battledress' and the now uncomfortable bulge in 'his' tight leather pants, "I'm a man…"

"It's not so bad," out of everyone the one that seemed to 'change' the least was Zevran… or well… Zevran. 'She' still looked relatively the same, same height, same light build, same colorings, the only difference apparently between a 'male' Zevran and a 'female' one was what _equipment_ went where. Fondling her own breasts with a garish grin on her lips the golden elf just smirked, "I like these, handheld, so much nicer compared to Tess' former…"

"Ahem," 'Terry' glared icy daggers at Zevran, "What was that about my boobs…"

"Nothing _Mio Beau_," Not looking up, still fondling herself through her oddly still fitting leathers.

Terry still glared, also shirtless like the other two women-turned-men that gained considerable height, though 'Lenard' seemed to have gained the most making his former outfits neigh-impossible to wear, "I'll remember this when we turn back and you mention something about my breasts again…"

There was the sudden sound of a very distinct **_Slap!_** As the now-female elf and two shirtless males turned to the two they'd previously ignored. Morgan now sported a nice red mark on his face that he was absentmindedly rubbing with one finger and… '_Alissa_' was breathing heavy, red faced, and hand extended as if just striking something… probably Morgan.

Gold eyes just narrowed on the now smaller not-Templar, "You hit like a girl…" was his only snide comment.

There was a distinctly higher pitched growl from the… _smaller_ woman as she flexed her hands in front of her wishing Morgan had kept his old throw around neck piece so she could strangle him with it, "If you haven't noticed, I **_AM_** a girl now!"

The two elves and now-Viking put their hands over their mouths trying desperately _not_ to snicker.

Morgan looked at Alissa flatly, "T'is no excuse…"

There was some infernal female-scream as the strawberry blonde threw up her hands, turned around and stomped to the other side of the room.

Terry, Lenard, and Zevran bit their lips, again trying to meld in with the background so as not to be noticed by the fuming female not-Templar and the now 'Warlock' of the Wilds.

Luckily there was a knock on the door, "Excuse me, Tess?" the voice sounded wizened and Terry could only assume it was Wynne.

Twitching an ear and completely forgetting about the effects of… whatever caused them to swap genders, he answered, "Come in!"

There was silence, almost as if the elder mage didn't know how to respond, "Zevran? Is that you?"

"Sod…" hand met face as Terry realized his 'lower' voice didn't sound right, even through a door apparently. He cleared his throat as if to attempt communication again…

"Uh, I mean, 'come in!'" only to be beat by Zevran's much higher than even his 'normal' voice. Icicles pointed at the golden little minx.

When the door opened it wasn't exactly the 'Wynne' they had been expecting, "Oh, I see I'm not the only one affected," those smirking older grey eyes were undeniably the elder mage they all knew… it was the suddenly long white beard covering his slightly broader stature that threw them all off.

Morgan and Alissa just stared.

Terry and Lenard had their jaws hanging open, the elf having a _slight_ twitch in his eye and right ear.

But Zevran… poor poor Zevran fell to her knees, hands raised to the sky and started shouted, "Damn you Maker! Damn you and all your kin for giving me sexy, sexy handheld boobies but depriving the world of Wynne's 'Magestic Bosom'!"

"Hey!" Terry snapped out of 'shock' long enough to give his elf counterpart yet another glare…

"Yes," the now male elder mage leaned on his staff, "About this whole thing-"

"WARDEN!" a suddenly loud shout had them all jump as something 'red' zipped into the room through the still open door Wyn was standing by. All gathered blinked before looking down… at the oddly sparkly eyed female dwarf standing in front of the white-haired male elf, hands spread out wide showing 'her' bare chest, "I'VE GOT TITTIES!" the grin on… 'Olga' increased as she fisted said 'titties', "They're big and juggly!"

Lenard put a hand over his eyes, "Did... not… want… to see…"

Terry was too shocked to do anything but stare…

Morgan looked at his nails while Alissa, standing not far off, was looking at the ceiling thanking the Maker 'she' didn't have to share a room with… 'Olga'… and that 'she'd' thought to put a shirt on before seeking 'help'…

Wyn just blinked, stroking his old man beard.

And Zevran, poor sweet Zevran who just moments ago was cursing the Maker for taking away the greatest 'bosom' known to all sentient kind just happened to be at 'eye' level to Olga's fondling. Mesmerized, the now-female elf just kept staring before turning once again up to the ceiling, "Thank the Maker!" and immediately went to go grab 'Olga's' considerable cleavage…

… Only to have her hand slapped by the smaller woman, "Hands off woman! I'm playing with them first!"

It almost sounded like the formally-male-elf whined with her hands flexing only inches away from the new 'magical bosom'.

"Warden," the eerily high pitched voice attracted the attention of all gathered, except the two on the floor still rapt in the new 'holy bosom'. Another moment of jaw-dropping silence ensued as a slender, tall; grey skinned woman with sexy white-dreads entered the now-male-elf's room.

"I think I'm in love," slipped from Terry's mouth as the woman, surprisingly _still_ the tallest in the group looked at them with those hardened violet eyes. Lenard, standing next to the male-elf and a considerable two heads taller only nodded dumbly in agreement.

'_Stana_' gave that familiar growl, now of a higher pitch, as 'she' narrowed those violet eyes on the two _still_-shorter men.

Wyn giggled to himself, amused by the 'young men's' reactions to the exotic now-woman.

"Put those away," Morgan grunted bored pointed at the two males with his staff.

Both men blushed and put their hands in front of their pants.

"Uncomfortable," Terry muttered trying to adjust his pants, "So wait, you 'guys' have to deal with this kind of 'random' occurrence all the time?"

Stana glared, Alissa had her hand over her eyes, and Zevran was _still_ too enraptured by Olga's bosom, along with said female dwarf, to answer the now-male-elf's question.

"At least you aren't wearing leather," Lenard looked exceedingly uncomfortable, "Tight, tight leather…"

"I heard 'tight' and 'leather' in the same sentence," golden hair popped up from ogling dwarven cleavage as her light eyes scanned the room, finding Lenard, Viking-esque Lenard with his hands over his crotch in tight, _tight_ leather pants, "Mmm," she narrowed her eyes and licked her lips, "I like the sight of that…"

Lenard's cherry complexion almost matched his hair as he looked down at the devious little golden elf-woman not far from his feet. Out of reflex he moved closer to the smaller yet-still-bigger-then-Zevran male elf that was their leader with something that sounded like a squeak.

"Ahem," Clearing his throat, crossing his arms and ignoring the sexy-tall-man leaning closer to him, "Well, since we're all 'mostly' here," his crystal colored eyes scanned the room looking at his cohorts, "Back to what I was asking earlier about-"

A very distinct howl was heard as the door was yet again thrown open as a blur of brown high-tailed it towards their now-male leader, running around him and settling down whining behind his feet.

The gathered party had just long enough to register it was a '_slightly_' smaller Mabari whining at the now-man's feet before the hall started shaking and they heard a distinct, "Get back here you cur!" as Shale made her grand entrance, glowing eyes immediately finding the dog as the construct pointed at the dog, "I don't care what you think you're doing but-"

"Shale," the now-male white haired elf growled at the living stone.

"Hmm?" the living stone stopped in its path and looked up at the topless male elf, "Hmm? What's It want? I was about to get at that cur for _spoiling_ itself on the carpet down-"

"Wait," Lenard stepped forward, looking at the stone curiously with a red raised brow, "You don't notice anything… '_different_' about us?"

Glowing eyes shifted in a curious way as the golem turned to the taller red-haired man, "Well it suddenly seems taller I suppose?"

"'_Taller_'!" red brow twitched as the Viking-esque man advanced on the stone looking at it eye-to-eye for the first time, "That's _it!_"

Shale blinked, tilting its head slightly, "Was there something else?" she turned to the now-male elf-Warden, looking him up and down and only tilting her head further, "hmm?" the golem looked around at the gathered people, noticing something definitely 'different' as she looked from the 'taller' Bard, to their 'taller' leader, and then oddly 'down' at the dwarf, "Is something going on?" the construct quirked glowing eyes and pointed at 'Olga', "Why are all of you running around topless? Thought It and the rest of the women would find some offense to this…"

Lenard's hand met face as he growled slightly.

Terry openly started laughing.

Olga looked down at her 'new' chest, "I like lookin' at 'em rock," the little red head put her stubby arms on her hips and thrust out her 'vaulted' chest pulling an oddly female pose, "Ya got somethin' to say about my new titties?"

Next to the little woman Zevran, still on her knees if slightly closer to Lenard despite the Viking-esque man's annoyance, leaned over with proverbial stars in her eyes with hands clinched in front of her own covered chest, "They are rather magnificent…"

"Uh-uh," the little woman put up a still rather… _furry_ hand, "Back off Elf, just 'cause I turned wymin don't mean I'll be seekin' out yer bed or accepting any a them proposals of yours…"

Zevran blinked a moment, taking her eyes _away_ from the openly revealed chest of magnificence… even if it was attached to a female version of 'Oghren', "Hmm? Proposal you say?" she looked up tapping her chin in thought, "Well I suppose, since I _am_ now womanly as well…" 'She' looked down at the open mouthed and beardless face of the 'little woman', "And you do appear to smell less…"

"Eh?" suddenly Olga raised an arm, noticing _less_ arm hair and sniffed, "Huh, s'ppose ya might be on ta something Elf," the dwarven woman crossed her arms, "Hmm, so yer a woman too ya say?" the red head tilted, "Don't see much difference…"

There was a snort above them, causing the two on the ground to look up at the white-haired stubbly chinned male elf with arms crossed over his tattooed chest and the obvious scowl on his face, "Wouldn't be the first…"

A blonde brow rose as the female elf leaned over onto the male elf's leg, causing Lenard to move _away_ so as not to get involved, "Aww… is my dear… _Mio Beau_ mad?"

Without looking down Terry's cold crystal eyes narrowed forward, "Get off my leg…" only to kick out slightly forcing the golden female to get off.

"Aww," she whined, she _WHINNED_ and some of the now-men aside from their leader cringed as it registered as _cute_… then she sniffled.

"Ugh, make it stop," Morgan looked close to throwing up as he had a hand over his stomach.

Alissa, next to the warlock, had her hands up and clinching them, "Why is it so… _cute?_" the now-taller warlock next to her just stared with an even _more_ sickened look. Sensing the 'evil' that was the black haired apostate, no matter the gender, the strawberry blonde turned her _adorable_ baby-face with those light brown eyes at him, "Witch! What's wrong with me!" Morgan was too disgusted by the look… and the '_feelings'_ it was igniting to have a witty retort out quick enough. Facing forward again Alissa looked just as stricken as the warlock next to her, "Why do I sound like such… such… such a _girl_!"

Regaining _some_ composure the warlock growled, ignoring the heat on his face and in his stomach, "Ugh, you're stupidity knows no bounds," the woman glared at him vehemently, now _THAT_ was a look he could deal with! "T'was already discussed," golden eyes glared just as much, "You. _ARE._ A woman…"

"So, uh, Elf," the little dwarven woman nudged the cheekily grinning golden elf, "'Bout that… uh, _proposal_," despite being now a 'female' dwarf, that lecherous grin was _still_ completely Olghren, "Two wymin, eh?" those red eyebrows went up and down trying to be suggestive, it was surprising how much better that _look_ worked on a female dwarf over her normal male self.

The female elf blinked, sitting with her hands in her lap as she just stared at the smaller woman, "Beg pardon?" then there was _that_ look on Olga's face, cheeky grin and moving eyebrows, again, it was surprising how much more effective it was on a female then her male version, probably because it was such a 'new' thing, yea, that's what Zevran would tell herself later, "Yes… two woman. Us. My place." That good old Zevran leer kicked back on, making the dwarven woman blush surprisingly, something must have been throwing them off if the two most lecherous of the group were blushing like schoolgirls at a few passed words between each other, Zevran figured as she narrowed her eyes and leaned in on the little woman, "I get to have my way with _those_ magnificent assets of yours while you get to see mine…" Okay, so _maybe_ Zevran wasn't _'**that**_' affected, she could still pull this off after all.

Olga was left a stuttering drooling mess and conscious thought was debatable for the next hour…

"Fu-" Lenard, who'd been leaning behind their leader suspiciously closer and closer to the two females on the floor, suddenly got a _very_ pained look across his face and hands jumped to the front of his pants, "Sweet Andraste-"

"Stolen Kickers!" The red-haired bard looked down to see Zevran with sparkles in her eyes as she was sitting up straight, leaning closer to him with her arms clutched in front of her chest and for some reason Lenard's baby-blues could not pull away from the 'bulge' Zevran's unconscious (or entirely purposeful) _squeezing_ did to make his 'hand-helds' seem just that much bigger in that tight, tight leather…

All of that, combined with the image of a woman's '_stolen knickers_' had Lenard back in an amusing cherry complexion, again, as one hand went to cover the lower half of his face as he turned decidedly _away_ from the devious little minx that was Zevran. It seemed no matter the gender, Zevran could work 'her' magic on anyone without even trying…

At the reaction of the near-giant the little golden elf just sat back and started laughing in victory, yes, she was _still_ 'Zevran' and could _still_ completely work her charms on anyone. Filling with a new bout of confidence for striking two down (three if she counted Alissa's 'cute' comment) the devious little elven minx set her sights on the delicious piece of male elf standing in between them all...

"Don't even think about it," Terry said without even looking down.

Zevran pouted, decidedly cutely, with a _slight_ glare at their leader… out of the corner of her eye she noticed Morgan raising a black brow and decided that was another 'win'. Feeling slightly satisfied, and still glaring at the taller male elf, "I will get you my pretty, if it's the last thing I do…"

"Uh-huh," the stern looking male elf just crossed his arms, continuing his ardent stare forward, "Just keep at that…" his crystal, and decidedly far more _dangerous_ looking eyes narrowed on the exotic tall beauty sticking next to the old man, "I've got other prey to attend too…"

At the flash of anger, and possibly jealousy, that passed over the elf-woman's eyes Morgan slapped a hand over his eyes, "Make it stop…"

"Morgan's got a crush~ Morgan's got a crush~" Alissa snickered while singing at the decidedly '_not-in-the-mood_' warlock. He lowered his hand long enough to glare with gold eyes at the smaller woman and growl. The shorter woman just gave that cheeky I'm-a-bastard-and-I-know-it grin, only now it wasn't _half_ as annoying and the black haired mage had to murder that eerie heat on his face, rage, yes, it was rage… that was it…

"Shove it, stocky," at the sudden flash of anger that passed her cute eyes he sneered deeming that a victory.

The smaller woman growled and glared back, "I may be _shorter_ then you now," she was pointing at his bare chest, "but I am **_NOT_** stocky!"

Sneer turned into a snort, "T'is what you think…" there was that mischief in his eyes, only something about it seemed decidedly off to Alissa now that she was a man, "_Stocky_…"

There was a frustrated feminine yell from the… _shorter_ woman, she was '_this_' close to slapping him again, damn smug Warlock of the Wilds and that damn smug look all over his smug face and…

"Am I missing something," All eyes turned to Shale, the living stone looking at the two in the corner, "Since when was the swamp-witch taller than the paltry-knight," it was pointing, "and since when do they flirt like the painted elf?"

It almost sounded like something fell over in that corner… followed by quick reprisals and threats to turn certain stones into some kind of domestic avian to be served for dinner…

Shale completely ignored the two, and the threats of being turned into a chicken… as much as she loathed to even consider the thought, before turning to Wyn and Stana, "And the elder mage… why does it have some dead animal attached to its face?" oddly Wyn just blinked before laughing outright, "And the Qunari…" the golem narrowed its eyes looking 'her' up and down, "it seems… thinner… I think…" The female Qunari just looked uncomfortable, trying to reign in as much of her former stalwart nature into this… _form_…

"That's what we all want to know," at the stern, lower voice, the living stone turned back to their leader, eyeing It queerly. Usually It was smaller, wearing Its favored armor and large weaponry contradicting its 'mage' nature, yet here it was, in pants and that seemed to be it with an uncovered chest showing off Its normally hidden tattoos and there was… _hair_ on Its chin…

Unconsciously Shale ran a finger under her chin with narrowed glowing eyes on their leader, "Yes, there _IS_ something… _off_ about the lot of you…" the construct's head tilted looking down at the dog cowering and nearly forgotten behind its oddly 'bigger' master, "Suppose this strange occurrence is affecting the little beast… that's why it behaved so… _strangely_…"

Blinking, the first remnants of _'concern_' seemed to enter Terry's eyes as he looked down at his beloved Mabari, "Bal?" he raised a white brow when the dog looked up at him whining with that not-so-fierce and less blocky head. Turning around and crouching the animal lowered 'his' head and ears and whining more as he leaned over and looked between 'his' legs. Straightening up, Terry put a hand on… '_Bel_'s head, giving the poor dog his sympathies. 'She' had been very proud of… 'those'… "Sorry… _girl_," the dog whined again and Terry gave her an apologetic look.

"Aww," it seemed Olga had regained consciousness from thoughts of hot woman-on-woman action, "Big nug was so proud of his stones…"

"Hmm," Zevran, still sitting on the floor looked equally concerned, "Yes, I was very attached to mine too…" she looked down at her now breezier pants, "Suddenly being female doesn't seem as much fun…"

Bel howled as Zevran, Olga, and oddly Stana looked down in lamentation on what they'd… _lost_ suddenly becoming women…

"Uwah! Elf, hold me!" the topless dwarf threw herself at the mildly distraught looking female elf, accepting the stout woman without a word and surprisingly not trying to fondle her magnificent bosom.

Lenard stared, words not finding his voice as he just looked at the two incredulously.

"NOW," all eyes turned to Morgan who looked about ready to shoot someone with a cone-of-cold, "Now they realize the gravity of the situation!" he was growling like a rabid animal and just not caring as several party members took a step back, "Having _JUST_ realized they've 'lost' their male assets in trade for their luridly accepted chest!" a black brow was twitching in barely contained rage. He hadn't complained when the realization struck that 'she' was now a 'he' and no longer had her well-developed assets for garnering power and seducing men! The Warlock couldn't damn well use any of the tricks his mother had taught him **_now_**like _this!_ He gripped his staff tightly, almost splintering the wood not realizing his inherent strength now as a male, and pointed the damn thing at them seething, "T'is _NOW_ time to take this situation seriously and stop all these lascivious games?"

The room was quiet as the party just stared at Morgan. They'd never heard _Morrigan_ snap and yell at anyone that _wasn't _Alistair. They'd never heard _Morrigan_ yell with such vehemence, venom, and overly intentioned brutality, even if it _was_ Alistair. They'd never actually seen _Morrigan_ this openly emotional, angry yes, but still 'emotional', aside from Tess and that was in relation to her whole 'mother' thing. And usually when _Morrigan_ snapped at people it was with quick, _mostly_ harmless, vengeance of an oddly magical and humorous to the rest of them sort…

This… _THIS_ was something completely different and not one of them knew how to handle it…

Olga and Zevran were huddled on the floor, holding each other tightly in legitimate fear of the Warlock as they kept wide eyes on him and his dangerous, dangerous staff pointed their way…

Lenard, standing behind Terry, was shocked like the rest of them but his red brows were lowered in a partial glare as he clinched in his hand a knife he'd taken from the table as an oddly 'protective' urge was welling up his spine…

Bel whined behind her master, feeling without and not sure what to do about the now-male version of his favored 'bitch'… Of course now that '_He_' was the '_bitch_' in the relationship she felt even smaller under the black male's ferocity.

Wyn watched the apostate with aged eyes, one hand on his staff while the other stroked his beard. He'd been mostly silent and watching the others, all the young _children_ weren't 'just' acting strange because of the situation; they were _actually _being affected by it… almost as if… his wizened eyes narrowed on the almost snarling Warlock, the dark mage's actions almost confirming his suspicions.

Stana was confused. 'His' first response was to grab 'his' sword and take the beast down… but now 'he' was a woman… and women didn't fight… so even though one hand was reaching back for her weapon the confliction made her pause, jittery as something welled up in the back of her mind she registered as 'fear' also helped keep her hand from touching the handle of her sword… fear of the wild mage gone even more feral and becoming far more dangerous now that it was 'male', fear of not being able to handle a weapon with this '_different_' body… fear of not being able to fight because 'he' was now a woman…

Shale stared at the mage, the swamp-witch didn't normally snap so easily and over such a trifle thing, but… '_he_', the stone finally settled on the 'differences' of its cohorts, certainly wasn't the same as the 'Swamp-Witch' she knew.

Terry just stared, hard and cold with his arms crossed, almost daring Morgan to pull something. Out of everyone here he had been the calmest about this 'awkward' situation, sure falling in with the others and their antics a few moments, but being 'male' didn't completely change who 'she' was, it just made things 'different'. 'She' felt as if her mind wasn't fully registering the 'differences', wasn't fully registering the 'implications' or the full effects whatever-this-was was having on them… but the moment '_Morgan_' was snapping and threatening the others, and not in some snide-better-then-you manner that _Morrigan_ did, but actual rage… Those cold crystal eyes narrowed on the man in front of him with the staff poised to strike someone one down in a magical fury, his own magic bristling under his tattooed and tanned skin as without even thinking his will 'o wisp poofed into existence along with his mage's aura and miasma…

The warlock growled at the mage in front of him, his magicks activating only seen as a challenge… the grip on his staff tightened as his mind flashed through the possible spells he could use to stop their juggernaut of a leader, even if he was unarmed and without armor the male-elf was formidable because of his stronger magic and-

A calloused hand touched the Warlock's bare shoulder-

The wilds mage's first reaction was to stiffen at the warm touch, then he turned in an instant, taking a step back with molten gold eyes on the woman and growling with his staff a mere inch from her face.

With the warlock's quick turn out of her reach Alissa held up her hands in a defensive position, her light brown eyes hard and locked on the man's almost glowing gold ones, something in them hidden behind all the aggression and feral animosity, something that to the female not-Templar almost looked like 'fear'… her eyes narrowed just the slightest, never turning her gaze or blinking even as the magically charged staff was next to her face, she'd dealt with the '_Witch's_' threats before, knew the feel of 'her' magic, that calm, cool, calculating and _just_ threatening enough to make him squirm feel of it… but this, this was different. Just like the emotion in his eyes was different, the stature of an aggressive animal backed in a corner was different, the downright feral and chaotic feel of _HIS_ magic… she really had no idea what he would do but by the Maker somehow hoped she wasn't pushing her luck too damn far with this… '_Warlock_'…

Using a bravado not used to despite her now shorter stature the strawberry blonde lowered her hands, looking into the feral mage's eyes even more intensely and taking a step forward, the staff lowering just enough to allow the motion only for it to now physically touch right above her heart, "Do it _Warlock_," those gold eyes narrowed just the slightest at the new name, "hit me with all you've got…"

Morgan clinched his teeth, mind going oddly blank as he couldn't pull his eyes away from the threatening little woman in front of her… so much _not_ like the idiot he was used to…

Everyone held their breath, waiting for what would happen. Terry tense and wound like a spring waiting to jump in, Wyn closely observing the interaction while just as prepared to heal whichever one hurt themselves… the rest just waiting…

In an instant Alissa backhanded the staff away from her chest and leapt forward, grabbing the still Warlock's shoulders and taking him to the ground as she glared with vehement anger with strawberry blonde brows furrowed intensely. The next moment had the two on the ground, Morgan oddly placid as he was just staring at the woman on top of him while she kept glaring, not caring or noticing her position of straddling the dark man, "By the Maker what hell is wrong with you!" her fingers dug deeper into the man's shoulders as she shook him as much as her smaller frame would allow, "What the hell makes you think you're the only one angry about this situation!" shake, still no response from the Warlock, "The only one completely insecure about their hard trained abilities now that we're like… _THIS!_" her teeth clinched at her own frustration and even more infuriated at the look the man below her was giving, that stoic long stare what wouldn't stop... without even thinking she cocked one arm back and brought it down as hard as her new smaller muscles would allow…

In the instant that her fist was coming down Terry jumped forward, along with Stana ignoring all the contradiction in her head, Bel stared unsure, Lenard clinched his fist white around the knife, Olga and Zevran stared holding each other tighter, Shale stared blankly, and Wyn narrowed his eyes…

The sound of flesh splintering wood stopped everyone in their tracks…

There was the sound of deep heaving above him and something fell on his face and when the scent of blood reached his nose the Warlock's eyes snapped open…

Alissa was breathing deeply through clinched teeth bared at the stupid man in front of her, ignoring the pain in her fist and prickling in her eyes. He was a coward, for all his talk he'd flinched thinking she'd actually hit him… -_I'm supposed to… aren't I?_- She brushed the thought aside as his eyes snapped open and stared at her. The intensity in the black haired man's gold eyes was… disturbing… Alissa couldn't look at them straight, there was something absent in them from the '_Witch's_' eyes, something 'he' couldn't place, something important…

The indignant woman pulled her bloody fist out of the floor next to the dark man's head, the sight of crimson mixed with the coppery smell jerked Morgan's eyes to the appendage.

Alissa growled as his gold eye stayed on her hand as she brought it to her chest and made to move off him. "Idiot…" slipped out of her lips before she could move and for a second a weird sense of Déjà vu hit them both, only it was reversed…

Morgan growled in his throat, narrowing his black brows on the woman's eyes that weren't looking at him, something about that bothering him. His eyes trailed down to her hand and as he felt her weight shift to move off him he did the first thing that came to mind, he grabbed her bloody hand, eliciting a delightful grunt of pain from the woman, while sitting up and staring at it…

"Hey-" the strawberry blonde growled as she fell back on her own legs from his shift.

"Shut up," he bit out in a growl looking over her hand, after a moment of intense examination he summoned the magic he hated so much causing his hand to glow and placed it over the bloody knuckles, keeping his eyes purposely on the flesh mending itself and not on the woman scowling at him so cutely.

Everyone else released a breath they didn't know they were holding…

Terry put a hand through his short white hair, "I swear… this job gets worse every damn day…"

Lenard struck the knife in his hand hard into the table leaving it sticking up straight as he dropped his large frame into the waiting chair, "That was a bit too intense, no?"

Zevran sighed deeply, patting Olga on the back as the woman was crying for some damn reason, "Just a small bit I think…"

"Tess…" the male elf turned to the speaker, seeing 'Wyn', giving the now-male circle mage a hard glare to which he rose a wizened brow, "'Terry' then," there was a smirk under the old man beard that just caused 'Terry' to glower at, "I think we have much to discuss," the elder mage tilted his head towards the silently glaring at each other pair on the floor as the Warlock healed the not-Templar's hand, "Not just the obvious physical state of our… change," a white brow rose on their leader, "But also the obvious… _'other_' problems it may have on us…"

The now-male Warden's eyes narrowed skeptically, turning from the elder mage towards the two growling at each other, before turning around and looking at the worn out way the others were feeling and glancing back at the other mage finally releasing his spells, "I think we do…" and he stepped towards the table Lenard now occupied, walking around it and taking the chair furthest in the back, sitting down roughly with his elbows on the hard wood and tenting his fingers seriously in front of him. Several thoughts were running through his head, many of them on what the hell just happened and more importantly 'why'.

"Hmp," Shale shook her head, turning from the fleshy whiney creatures that had to always make such a scene. Shooing the dog away from her as it got up out of the construct's stomping legs and took up a spot on the wall next to their leader, "At least someone still has some sense despite this madness…"

Blue eyes glared across at the stone under red brows, "Hmp, you didn't even notice the difference…" he narrowed his eyes and absently moved a hand towards the knife now impaled in the table-top, "Only that some of us were '_taller_'…"

The Viking glared while the stone looked bored…

"Quiet," Terry's gruff voice called out to the two, not looking at either as his cold eyes were on the approaching mage and Qunari, "Both of you…"

The red head glared at their leader, crossing his arms over his broad chest with a scowl.

"Yes, you're highness," Shale made a gravelly sound similar to a snort.

Wyn sat down across from their leader while Stana stood to the side looking down at the two sitting on the floor closest, the elf and dwarf. The female Qunari gave a disapproving growl but didn't say anything.

At the sound Zevran looked up, still patting the back of the female dwarf curled up in her lap, now asleep, "Yes my scrumptiously female friend?" the golden elf gave that familiar _saucy_ grin, even if it was slightly more dangerous in female form.

Stana's violet eyes just narrowed, "You haven't changed much, Elf…"

She grinned, "Neither have you my friend," at the uncomfortable way the Qunari looked that smile just widened, "Neither have you…"

Stana turned away, deciding to join the discussion at the table with their leader, elder mage, now larger rogue and Shale.

"I take it you noticed something, Wyn?" the white haired elf said sternly, his cold eyes direct and far more serious than Tess' ever were.

If the older mage was disturbed by the look he didn't show it, only nodding curtly while running a hand through his beard, "Yes, that display," he tilted his head towards the 'other' two on the floor at the other end of the room, "Only helped prove my concerns…"

"And they are?" crystal eyes narrowed.

Grey eyes stared flatly at the younger mage, "That," he pointed at the male-elf, "For instance," at the piqued white brow and curious looks from the others he continued, "Tess was 'strange' but never impatient," a smirk rose under his beard, "_Terry_ seems to not have time for most things apparently…"

There was a small growl from across the table.

"And you," the older mage turned towards the red head.

"Lenard," he said a bit more politely if still rather clipped.

"Lenard?" the old mage nodded, stroking his beard, "Right, Lenard here is much more reserved, embarrasses easily in fact," those smirking eyes landed on the blushing red head, "See," there was a chuckle in his voice, "Leliana never got flustered so easily, or at least hid it much better…" the Viking looked down at the table. Wyn's eyes landed on the knife half buried in the table, "He also seems more aggressive, if not ready to protect, but nowhere near as cautious as your 'other' self…"

Their leader's eyes watched the mage across from him, then turned to Stana still standing next to him, noticing as the older mage was following his gaze.

"Our dear… Stana," violet eyes zeroed in on the older mage, "You're… hesitant…"

"Conflicted," Terry corrected, noticing that look in the taller woman's eyes, "'Women do not fight' right?"

There was that familiar if slightly higher pitched growl from the Qunari, "Yes…" her eyes narrowed as she looked at nothing, it was the closest to 'pained' Terry assumed she was going to allow be shown, "I have been a warrior my whole life, it is what I am," she looked down glaring at her now developed feminine chest, "This… is not what I am…" she looked at their leader, as close to pleading as he'd ever seen 'her', "Warden?"

His jaw clinched as white brows furrowed. There was just something so... _wrong_ with the look in the Qunari's eyes, he guessed this must have been how 'she' looked when 'he'd' told 'her' she wasn't a woman. –_Now this…_- the male elf sighed, "Alright, so we aren't '_quite_' ourselves," he looked directly at Wyn, trying to push down the impatient urge to throttle the old man if he didn't explain quicker, "How did this happen, and more importantly," she looked around the table, noticing between Lenard and Wyn how Alissa was looking their way as Morgan continued working on her hand half paying attention to them as well. He was also sure Zevran and Olga were listening in their little corner on the floor. When his crystal eyes landed back on the older mage he was steeled and the old mage raised a brow surprised to see that 'Tess' wasn't completely gone, "How do we fix this?"

The group was silent, each trying to figure out answers to the questions their now-male leader posed…

How did this happen? How do they fix it? Even a few of them bordered on the unspoken question flitting through all their minds… did they _want_ to?

Stana looked down uncomfortably at nothing in particular…

Lenard glanced sideways at Zevran on the floor patting Olga on the back as the female elf looked at nothing, for a moment her pointed ear twitched and she glanced to the side, noticing the near-giant red-haired human-man just looking her way…

Wyn closed his eyes deep in thought…

Terry furrowed white eyebrows, looking at the table top over tented fingers, only to glance up at the other two on the other side of the room… his cold eyes were placid as he and Alissa shared a look, as Wardens this new 'form' could be advantageous to them, they could slip away, unnoticed, since they weren't the '_right'_ gender, 'she' could avoid being made 'King', 'He' could avoid his life all together and just disappear…

The white haired elf looked away clinching his teeth and fingers…

Alissa looked down as well in thought, the 'unspoken' thought flitting through her mind. Out of some strange reason even she didn't know she glanced at the dark mage inspecting her hand. '_He_' seemed to be the only one not bothering with deep contemplation, the only one that didn't seem concerned one way or the other about their new predicament at the moment… her eyebrows furrowed, she wanted to be angry with him, she was _supposed_ to be angry at him for all he did earlier…

"Tch," light brown eyes looked vehemently away from the black haired warlock, knowing that her anger and assumptions were completely wrong… the way he'd acted, the look in his eyes, both when she told him to fire and after she almost punched him… -_Idiot…_- strawberry blonde eyebrows lowered, "I don't get you at all…"

"That would make two of us," he said lowly, gold eyes placid as he looked solely at the woman's calloused hands. Alissa turned back to look 'down' on him, scowling like she knew she was supposed to be, only to be oddly curious about what he was doing. Morgan was looking at her hand, knuckle up, holding it between both hands as it no longer required healing. His larger, less rough hands held the now smaller thing delicately, thumbs rubbing over the new skin on her knuckles almost… _tenderly_… as the rest of his fingers moved along the calloused underside, spreading the individual digits almost… _curious_…

"You have very manly hands…" the Warlock spoke, completely derailing whatever 'intrigue' had been going on.

Alissa just glared flatly at the man, swiftly removing her hand from his, ignoring what sounded like a disapproving grunt when she did so, "Thank you for that _brilliant_ observation," the not-Templar quickly tucked away her hands under her arms while crossing them over her covered chest.

The Warlock's golden eyes followed the objects of his inquiry and released a very displeased sound when they became hidden, "T'was meant as a compliment…" The woman next to him could have sworn he snorted like the Mabari when he was unhappy…

There was a snort from strawberry blonde as she grumbled something to herself, rolling her eyes and looking anywhere that wasn't the black '_dog_' next to her. She rolled her eyes when she could just _feel_ those gold orbs just glaring at her, "didn't we discuss this, I'm a '_woman_' now," so adorable with air-quotes, "_Women_ don't have 'manly' hands…"

"Some women do," he grunted, still looking intently at her, it wasn't '_angry_' and it certainly wasn't '_comfortable_', like anything from '_Him_' could be considered comforting… it was just… _unsettling_… "T'was meant as a compliment…" the warlock repeated, looking away with another grumble, saying low as if she weren't supposed to hear, "Thought you'd want to hear that…"

Lowering her 'air-quotes' the strawberry blonde looked at the… '_sulking_' warlock out of the corner of her eye with a raised brow, only one thought running through her head. –_Is he serious?_- and the female not-quite-Templar didn't know which way she wanted to interpret that…

"Ugh," a tan and tattooed fist slammed on the table garnering mostly everyone's attention, "I can't think of anything '_strange_' that happened yesterday!" he really should have used air-quotes, would have made their _stressed_ leader seem less angsty and more 'stupidly adorable' like '_She_' normally was. With another masculine growl of frustration he slammed his forehead flat on the table, apparently giving up on 'thinking'… a rather '_Tess_' thing to do.

_Certain_ party members snorted at their bi-polar leader…

"Hmm," Lenard leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his bare chest while looking at the ceiling with an obvious pout on his lips, "He's right, it was a 'normal' day," still no air-quotes, he raised a red brow, "walking along the road here, killed some dark spawn, ran into that weird peddler, got attacked by some nut-job with a mace, turned him in for a reward, then stopped by here to spend the night…" blue eyes blinked before the viking-esque man shrugged his large broad shoulders, "Pretty normal…"

Terry raised his head enough to sit on his stubbly chin and look flatly across him at the red Viking, "What'd we turn that guy in for again?"

Another shrug from the near-giant, "Some theft I think…"

Crystal eyes stared flatly as an ear twitched, "I meant 'pay' wise, what'd we get?" the pointy eared man tilted his head on the table, looking remarkably bored, "'Cause I'm drawing a blank on that whole affair…"

The red man snorted, "That's because Zevran and I turned him in, you were unconscious," at the raised white brow the large man sighed deeply with a growl, reminiscent of '_Sten_', "he knocked your helmet off with his mace and clocked you right in the face…"

Ear twitch, "Oh yea…" blink, "That's probably why I'm mostly drawing a blank from yesterday…"

"Probably," Lenard said flatly, rubbing his scratchy chin, "Though he did sock me pretty good with the damn thing too while we were handing him over…"

"Oh I remember that," all eyes at the table turned to the gold elf on the floor with the passed out dwarf in her lap. She was a smiling innocently as she raised one arm and pointed at her ear, "man was a feisty thing, nicked my ear with that piece of his…"

"Hmm," eyes shifted to Wyn as he stroked his old man beard in thought, "He ran right past me while I was tending to you," grey eyes came down to look at the younger mage as the old man raised a hand scratched his left shoulder, "Scraped me with the thing as he was fleeing," at the raised brows looking at him the old man chuckled, "I remember because they ate through my robes nicking skin so I spent most of the night patching them up," he turned in his chair showing the neat sticking in the women's clothing.

"hmm," a white brow rose, "that's… weird," Terry narrowed his eyes, "We don't _normally_ get random consistent injuries by one man with a mace?" the male elf's eyes traveled to Stana standing close to his right, "Stana…" there was an immediate growl causing the male elf to grin apologetically, "Did you get hit by this guy?"

There was that higher pitched dismissive growl as the exotic woman looked down at their leader, "He attacked us while we were setting up camp, and I had not had the chance to fully put on my armor…" absentmindedly she raised her right hand and rubbed along her left arm, presumably where the guy had hit '_him_'…

"Hmm…" a white brow was cocked on the elf-mage's face as he looked up at the white haired woman before looking down in the direction the gold elf was, "Zevran!"

"Yeeess _Mio Beau_!" the woman cheerily responded from the floor.

There was a _slight_ growl from the stubbly white haired elf as he glared in that general vicinity, "Did Oghren get hit by this guy too?"

There was a chuckle from the floor, "Don't you remember?" a white brow rose but since Zevran was on the floor and Terry was sitting with his head on the table he certainly didn't see it, that didn't stop her from continuing anyway with a laugh, "It was hilarious! Our stout friend got tripped by the mysterious man who dove for the ground, throwing his mace out every which way and getting our little friend behind the knee…"

There was a snort from across the table and all eyes turned to Lenard, "What?" the red-head blinked with a snort, "It was funny… since he's so short Zevran and I had joked about him being '_un-trip-able_'," at the end of his comment the blue-eyed near-giant chuckled with more fervor ignoring the others looks.

"Hmm…" crystal colored eyes looked at the ceiling a moment as the male elf completely ignored the chuckling, "and if Bel fought him, 'he' has no armor so any scratches would be immediately on flesh," as if to answer his ponderings the female Mabari barked underneath the table before nudging and licking her master's hand which was responded with a scratch on the muzzle. Those ice colored eyes glanced to the stoic golem, looking up at the construct obviously, "Shale, did you get hit by this guy?"

"Like it would have done anything," the living stone snorted in that gravelly way as she put her hands on her hips _almost_ offended, "But no, I didn't engage the crazy midget squishy," those crystal covered arms came up to cross over the construct's chest as a smirk made its way across the golem's glowing face, "I was having too much of a good laugh watching the man crack Its skull open before hurling the rock that finally knocked him out..." this statement was followed by a private chuckle only the golem participated in.

A tan pointed ear twitched, "so glad to amuse you," his eyes shifted around the table, well that coinsided with everyone so far, his eyes landed on the scowling pair at the other end of the room, "Alissa…" the strawberry blonde perked up while the black haired warlock next to her seemed to glare gold eyes in their direction, "You hear any of that?"

The female not-Templar _almost_ wanted to snort and question the 'man's' intelligence… realizing how much that was like '_Morrigan_' she kept her opinion's to herself…

That didn't stop Morgan, "We're only across the room," the man growled loud enough that everyone could hear it easily as his gold eyes pierced into their leader, "Think we're deaf along with this '_affliction_'?"

Terry raised his head off the table and glared icy slits at the growling warlock, "I never said anything of the sort," the male elf nearly growled himself keeping his own threatening glare on the whelp, "though it's usually a common courtesy to not eavesdrop so flippantly…"

Morgan bared his teeth at the 'little' man, shifting on his knees and placing one hand on the ground as if to push off after him while the other was cocked back already gathering magic…

Terry immediately kicked back his chair which bounced off the back wall as he stood up, shoulders tense with his hands on the table, magicks flaring under his exposed skin as he kept his icy glare on the man…

"Oh grow up!" the tense atmosphere was completely destroyed as Alissa put her hand on the back of the black warlock's head and forced his forehead to meet floor. She growled at him herself, light brown eyes fierce with her eyebrows dangerously furrowed, "He wasn't even talking to you, no reason to get so bent out of shape for nothing…" it was eerie how calm and flat her voice was despite the rough growl in it…

A faint growl could be heard as Morgan had both hands on the ground beside his head and tried shifting to glare at the woman. He managed enough movement that one gold eye flashed hers, both staring a moment before she grew tired of him and looked back at their leader, still not removing her hand and perhaps adding a bit of Templar charm to it to stop him from pulling a cone-of-cold on her ass...

"Yes," the not-Templar said politely, hand still in place and completely ignoring it, "_We_," she didn't even turn as the rest of the group looked at the… _incapacitated_ Warlock of the Wilds growled like a wild animal from his held position on the floor, "also had our run in with the little wild man," no one missed the disgruntled snort from the 'wilds man' almost as if he were offend their attacker was placed in the _near_ same category as him. Alissa completely ignored him, "He got me on my arm while getting _Morrigan_ on the face when she was all giant-spidery…"

Everyone just stared.

"What?" the strawberry blonde said calmly as if nothing was wrong with this situation.

Terry had his mouth open, one eye half open as he and the rest just stared, "I'm not the only one seeing this right?" vacantly one hand raised from the table to point at the not-Templar _single-handedly_ subduing a 'Warlock' of the wilds.

"I thought it was part of the… _instability_ this thing was causing," Zevran blinked, quite surprised and noth sure what to think either. Sure, 'he', like the rest of them, **_loved_** to joke and instigate 'problems' between those two just because it was funny… but never before had their arguments gotten physical… and **_NEVER_** had the 'witch' so obviously _lost_ to the 'not-Templar', "Someone hold me…" her free hand reached out to grab the greave around Stana's leg.

Bel whined.

Lenard just stared, blinking several times to make sure that it was still there in front of him…

"Hmm," Wyn rubbed his old man beard, "Guess that proves my thoughts on the oddities of our altered behaviors…"

"Oh is this a new game?" the stunned crowd looked to Shale, an odd delight in her glowing eyes, "Subdue the mages, yes?" the golem was grinning to much as she turned to look at the table, contain the two _other_ mages looking at the construct flatly. She pouted, "Spoilsports…"

Apparently enough comments had been made as Morgan finally, willingly, shrugged off Alissa's hand and sat up straight, givng the smaller woman a glare truly worthy of the 'Witch' of the Wilds, even if the witty come-back was replaced with stalwart growling…

Alissa lowered her hand, completely unfazed as she looked at him with half-open barely suspicious eyes; in fact they were more chiding of his previous behavior then legitimately angry at him.

There was a heavy sigh as their leader put a hand over his eyes, "Can we get over this already?"

"Gladly," Lenard spoke under his breath in a huff, scowling at the two across the room, namely the dark, dangerous, and temperamental warlock seated decidedly too close to adorable Alissa.

"So you think this man and his mace may have something to do with _this_?" the old mage looked at the younger circle mage, completely ignoring the other two, apparently being the only one to retain some semblance of _'normalcy_' out of the group.

The white haired elf grabbed his thrown chair and sat himself in it, leaning his head on one hand, "Seems like the only 'odd' thing about yesterday," he gave a dismissive shrug before sighing, "and seems like as good a place to start as any…"

There was a derisive grunt above them, the table-goers glancing at the female Qunari, "The sooner we correct this, the better…"

"Aye!" all eyes shifted to the dwarf who'd decided to return to the land of the conscious, "sounds good to me, missing my lads already!"

There was a round of grumbling and heads tucked away in hands…

"Um…" various eyes turned to the female not-Templar, "Question," she raised her hand and said flatly, "Since this is all settled and all, there's something I thought I'd asked…" the strawberry blonde shifted uncomfortably causing various eyebrows to raise, "About going to the bathroom as a… _woman_…?" said _woman_ tried very hard to keep a straight face as _certain_ parties, that shall not be named, namely a _certain_ Viking and male elf, started smirking and failing miserably to hide their snorts…

Stana looked uncomfortable… as much as a Qunari can look uncomfortable…

Wyn sighed, "Well, it is a valid question…" not bothering to hide his smirk in his beard…

Zevran was biting her lip, eyes so lit up with grievous joy at the prospect of… _something_…

"What're you talking about, pike-twirler?" Olga had hopped up out of the female-elf's lap and was standing, lower then the table, with her hands on her hips like this was all completely normal, "Ya just… ya know… and that…"

"Not the biggest expert on female anatomy I take it?" Wyn was _definitely_ smirking something evil as his grey eyes traveled to the topless dwarf…

"Ana-what?" a red brow cocked at the older human, "Lookit old man, I got more experience with wymin then you got with them pansies that tower of yers…"

"You were married weren't you?" a white brow cocked on their leader questionably.

The little red-head cocked her head to the side, knuckles still on hips as if to be imposing, "Ya, so?"

"I suddenly weep for all the women you've bedded," Wyn said sardonically while Lenard and Terry giggled to themselves.

"Pfft… women," the dwarf snorted.

There was suddenly a squeak from the forgotten corner where the not-Templar who'd asked the question was as red as Lenard and Olga's hair while a smirking dark warlock was leaning over with hand cupping her ear and hiding his lips as he spoke _something_ into the woman's ear. The light of mischief in those gold eyes was _not_ lost on anyone, so it was no surprise when Alissa, red-faced and gapping, turned to look at his smug face with a raised black brow, then openly slapping him again before turning away looking utterly embarrassed and adamantly holding her hands over her chest…

Morgan sat back with a pleased smirk on his face as one hand absentmindedly rubbed the red mark the slap left…

There was an audible groan from their leader as Bel wagged her stubby tail next to her master.

"Aww," Zevren whined cutely, "I suppose that solves that matter…"

"Ugh, yea…" Olga looked on queerly before turning back to the table of now-men with a winning grin, "So I guess I'll be needing ta teach you 'boys' how to use yer equipment, eh?"

The three men at the table stared down at the little woman flatly for all of five seconds before busting out laughing with no remorse.

Stana met hand to face, wanting to be _away_ from this conversation as quickly as possible…

"What?" the dwarf asked indignantly, glaring at the three with her sapphire eyes, "Sumtin' you all know I don't?"

Quieting their snorting just enough to speak the three gave each other conspiring looks, before Lenard, with a big grin, looked down at the woman and said plainly, "Um, we're _women_!" as if that answered everything.

"So?" the little red-head was still looking at them queerly, "Ain't wymin now, so what's yer point?"

A few more snorts, Wyn had to forcibly put his hand over his mouth to stop whatever was trying to leave the old man's lips.

Terry on the other hand had absolutely **_no_** qualms with saying what was on his mind, Zevran glanced up just in time to see _that_ smirk reminiscent of the woman he knew so well, "Trust us 'Olga'," snort from Lenard as the white-haired elf's eyes grew sinisterly mischievous, "As _former_-women, we know _all about_ handling a man's… _equipment_," that did it the three of them just gave up trying to hide and were howling with laughter.

Olga's face started turning red with anger, wasn't no way she was gonna be upstaged by a buncha surfacer brats…

"Dear friend," a _suave_ female voice from the corner spoke and the dwarf turned to look at Zevran, "trust me when I say he _definitely _knows what he's doing," the giddy smirk on the golden woman's face left nothing to the imagination what she was thinking about.

"I heard that!" Terry stopped long enough to send the female elf a _small_ glare.

"So glad you did, _Mio Beau_," Zevran grinned innocently.

On the other side of the room, Alissa, still red faced, glanced at Morgan warily, scooting just a bit more _away_ from _him_.

The black haired warlock just scowled facing ahead, absently rubbing the tender spot on his face, not knowing how many more 'slaps' he could handle before deciding to _really_ retaliate on the small, stocky woman that had perpetrated them… his gold eyes glared ahead, "The sooner we're done with this, the better…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** i would think a 'quest' involving gender-bending your character and party would be hilarious, i mean its easy for the 'Warden' since everyone just calls them 'Warden' so wouldn't have to worry about name-changing and it'd just have to relatively work off the build you make for them originally and some crazy algorithm... i think it would be a rather successful DLC :D

i know i'd buy it... XD

so yes, here you go 09, and sorry i cut... short? hmm... plot-hook established i guess... and by the god hilarity will ensue! -shakes fist-

as for the names...

like i said 'Morgan' and 'Alissa' were taken from KylaBosch's story, and i think they were actually taken from the original piccy, so that's none of mine :P

'Wyn' is a male name derived from the welsh gwyn, meaning "Blessed, white, fair", 'he' looks primarily like Gandolf and/or the captain-commander from BLEACH... with old-man-beard-rubbing derived from bad Chinese kung-fu movies :3

'Stana' is the female version of the slavic name 'Stan' which means 'Stand', closest female thing i could figure to 'Sten' :P and yea, she's sexy like that... can't wait to make her bake cookies XD

'Olga' is the russian version of 'Helga' which german and is the female version of 'Helge' which is derived from old norse meaning 'holy, blessed'... guess that goes for the 'bosom', cause i really just picked it because it was close to 'Oghren' XD

'Lenard' is the english version of the old germanic 'Leonard' meaning 'brave lion'... -snorts- i really just randomly picked it as something to counter-act 'Leliana' which is 'supposed' to sound french, since Orlisians are soooo french people, the fact that its a variant of 'old germanic' actually makes me giggle, since if you know your history you know that the land of gaul, ruled by germanic tribes before romans took over, is what became france :D don't you love irony and history... course this makes more 'sense', or adds more 'sense' to my making Lenny a big wiking-esque guy since the german barbarians were compared to vikings... i love irony!

'Bel' comes as a common shorthand for various female names, but more importantly 'Balthezar' what i name my dog, is derived from hebrew as one of the wisemen that visited jesus when he was born, and the more 'proper' spelling of it is 'Bel Shazzar' but no body spells it that way... so 'Bel' :3

there is no context where 'Zevran' comes from, like 'Leliana' it was derived to sound like the lands they come from, Antiva and Orlais which are 'like' Spain and France... but since i didn't bother changing it, since Zevran's just like that, no reason to explain... though there was an honorable mention, 'Zephyrine' a rare french woman's name that if i'm pronouncing it properly practically sounds the same as 'Zevran', who knows i might have someone call her 'Zephy' just for the hell of it XD

and finally 'Terry', 'Terry' is a shorthand for 'Theodore' which is the male version of 'Theresa' which APPARENTLY 'Tess' is one of the fifty-billion shorthands for... i didn't know that... and it was the only thing that sounded appropriate by comparison :3 and 'Theresa' comes from a LONG line of derivation all the way back to a greek word meaning either 'summer' or 'to harvest' .-.

all courtesy of behindthename(dot)com :3

i think if i have a daughter, i'm naming her 'Zephyrine' XD and just for this...

again, thanks to 09 for putting up with my maddness... and tempting you... now where's my cookies :3

as for the rest of you, comments, questions, opposing views or insteresting stories? XD (review :3)

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, mina!

-Ikasury

**Edit:** Question, to those that read this, should i take this away from 'smite' and delve into it and make a story all its own, or leave it here in my drabble pile?


	13. Hello

**A/N:** for realz this time :3

hello all, welcome back to this drabble-pile o' mine... got half of 'No Longer's' next bit in the works (certain someone's being mad at me for not having it up...) along with other work for my other stories... i still say go vote for 'SAVE THE LEMONS' on my profile, but i removed all those letters from my stories...

i feel the need to apologize for not being the greatest at keeping focus, and i've got a semi-job that's writing based so that'll either help or hinder, but stick with me i guess... i always come back, eventually :3

BUT! that's not what you care about... this bit was more of an examination of my Warden and the things that make her who she is... came up because i was feeling emo and wanted to do something more angsty, i don't this really achieved that but oh well...

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>Saying 'Hello' to the past…<p>

-16 years from Ostegar

The little elf girl stared up at the large stone building in the middle of the lake. It was so huge, standing there in the middle of the lake. The little girl stood up in the center of the boat, not hearing or understanding what the metal men were saying as her light crystalline blue eyes tried to find the top. The only thing she had ever known was the forest, wood, dirt, and water. Her hand reached out as if to touch the man-made structure. Such a strange thing…

"Careful child!" her hand and most of her arm was engulfed by the gauntlet of one of the men. Her eyes turned to him, wide and scared. Gregior frowned, willing his hand to open as the little dark skinned elf child just stared at him. His frown increased as he let her go and the child fell back, still staring at him with utmost fear. The older Templar breathed out slowly, lowering his voice hoping to keep it even as possible, "Just… just be careful child," he crossed his arms over his chest trying to ignore the sight of her trembling, he scratched his developing beard looking away, "Wouldn't want you to fall in…"

The little girl stopped trembling, those piercing eyes of hers looking down as she processed what he said.

Gregior didn't 'normally' care so much about mage children, he didn't really for this one either… she was just so young and so odd, that's all. His grey eyes traveled back to her, taking in her pointy ears, dark skin tone and the smattering of red on her right cheek. She was obviously Dalish, if that tattoo meant anything, but what was she doing out in the middle of the woods was anyone's guess. Then there was that strange female elf and the large beast of a wolf, how the little girl didn't died if that woman did was beyond him, there wasn't any sign of stray magic but one look at the little girl and he got that familiar prickling of fade essence surrounding her. It really was strange; one so young, little girl probably couldn't even speak. The Knight-captain leaned his head on his hand, propping his elbow up on the side of the boat, looking at her squirm and fidget, "What's your name, child?"

Her little white head popped up, head tilting to the side and if the Templar didn't know any better one of her tiny knife-ears twitched. She blinked at him and he was convinced she had no idea what he was saying.

"Fine," he looked away, out across Lake Calenhad, "Suppose someone will have to give you a name," he grumbled half-heartedly. It was currently summer and everything across the lake was a bright green except for the town behind them and the tower in front, "Hmm," he mumbled, wondering how the harvests were going. He felt something nudge his boot and the Knight-captain's eyes moved without changing his position.

The little elf-girl had grabbed his robe, looking up at him.

Gregior frowned, just looking down at her, "Theresa…"

She blinked at him, her pointy ears twitching in that funny way…

He turned to look at her, still frowning, head still propped on his hand, but just looking at the little elf. The name had slipped out of his lips without thought, thinking about the season and back home, "Guess that will have to do…" for whatever reason he stopped frowning.

The little dark-skinned elf noticed the difference and smiled at him. She was a lot brighter with a smile then a frightened look about her tattooed face.

Against his will the edge of Gregior's lips twitched upward, "So Theresa it is then…"

xXx

-11 years from Ostegar

This was it; she was _finally_ going to get this right! Or Maker-help-her she was going scream…

Tess put her little hands close to each other, leaving about four inches between them, and concentrated on the space between her hands. White brows furrowed as she thought harder, trying to visualize the energy forming between her hands, taking the shape of a ball, being on fire, something… anything…

The little elf-girl growled trying to find that conscious 'drag' the older students talked about when trying to form magic. That weird connection to the 'fade' they talked about that seeped through them and gave them energy, so much they _had_ to release it in some form…

So far she got squat…

"Argh!" lowering her hands she yelled something entirely unintelligible. She'd been trying for the past month to form a fireball, just a _FIREBALL!_ The most basic of mage skills and she couldn't get even a spark! Clinching her hot hands tightly, her crystalline eyes spied the beginner's book with hatred. Before even thinking about the consequences she grabbed the thing by the spine and threw it with all the power her childish body had in it.

"Ow!" someone screamed at the other end of the aisle.

"Oops," whatever 'fury' the little elf-girl felt drained from her as she locked up in fear of someone finding her here, especially them realizing she was reading the beginner's book, let alone _trying_ the spells… oh she was dead.

"What the…?" the voice didn't sound like one of the Templers, or one of the older mages…

She bit her lip, fidgeting in place not sure what to do. Against her better judgment she leaned out from behind the table she was hiding behind to see who she hit…

It was a black haired boy a few years older than her and he was wearing 'Beginner's' robes…

She groaned, turning around and sliding down the table leg until she was sitting in a ball at it base. She was dead, so, so dead. Those kids were mean to her, well most everyone was mean to her, but the older human children were the worst, and he didn't look like he had pointy ears…

"Hey," suddenly there was a voice way too close.

Tess nearly jumped out of her little ball and about hit her head on the table. Luckily she didn't, but looking up she saw the little black haired boy looking at her weird… and he was holding out the book…

"Think you dropped this…?" his black brows were furrowed and he was still absently rubbing the back of his head.

Tess looked away; silence was usually her best option.

He waved the book in front of her trying to get her attention.

When the thing nearly whacked her ear she turned back and glared at him.

"Uhh…" he stood up straight, looking confused, "You trying these spells?" the little elf-girl just kept glaring. The boy frowned, she wasn't even wearing a beginner's robe yet she was trying to do magic already, how weird? "Why're you trying this already?" he waved the book, still giving her that weird look, "Ya don't hafta you know?"

"I know!" her little voice was nearly a growl as those crystalline eyes of hers were sharp on him as she snatched the book out of his hand tucking it under her arms and laid her head on top of them, "I know…"

The black haired boy scratched his head, still not getting why anyone would _want_ to be doing this stuff early, "You're weird…" her pointy ear twitched and her eyes narrowed on him. Without noticing he gulped, feeling uncomfortable under that gaze, "Uh… I mean…" his dark eyes turned to the book, "Which spells you tryin'?"

She pushed out her lower lip in a pout, but the glare lessened as she looked forward and not at him, "Was trying a fireball…"

"Why?" the boy had a really stupid look on his face when she glared at him again, "I mean, well, why'd ya pick that spell?"

She blinked, "it was the first one…" the way she said it made it sound like it was an obvious answer.

Now it was the boy's turn to glare at her, "That's stupid," her eyes narrowed on him only this time he glared back, crossing his arms, "Just 'cause it's the first spell don't mean you'd be any good at it…"

A white brow rose on the younger girl's face.

"Tch," the boy frowned, "You don't even know that there's different kinds of magic do you?"

That white brow rose higher and the glare in her eyes disappeared only to be replaced with curiosity.

The boy's frown deepened, "Yea, different kinds'a magic," his hands went to his hips as he leaned over her, "Not everyone's good at elemental magic," he reached out and flicked her in the forehead to which she growled at him for, "And I bet you can't even make a spark?"

Her hands went to her forehead, holding the spot where it hurt as she frowned angrily at the boy, "I'll get it soon! You watch!"

The black haired boy shook his head, "Try a different kinda' magic," he scratched his nose looking away, "You might be better at something else…"

Tess blinked at him, wondering if he was trying to trick her just to get her off track. She rubbed her head again, staring at him skeptically, "Promise…?"

"Huh?" the boy turned back at her, confused by her word.

She blinked, those crystalline eyes narrowed on him, more serious than any adult he'd seen, "Promise I'll be better at some 'other' kind of magic?"

The black haired boy blinked, then smiled, "Course ya will be," he held out his hand, "My name's Jowan by the way…"

She looked at him straight in the eye, then his hand, then back up to his face, "Tess…" she unfurled one hand and reached out, shaking his…

"Oh!" the boy blinked, eyes going wide, "You're _that_ girl! Theresa!"

Her eyes narrowed as she pulled her hand out of his, frowning and looking away, "My name's 'Tess'…" her lower lip came out in a pout, "Theresa sounds like an old lady name…"

Jowan tilted his head, squatting so he was more at her level, "But everyone's heard that one Templar call ya that when…"

"When I get in trouble," she narrowed her eyes at him, frown replacing her pout, "Gregior's always being mean to me…"

The black haired boy sat down on the floor next to her, "Well he sure ain't like that with the rest of us," he scratched the back of his head, thinking of all the times he'd met the man, "I think he's got it out for you…"

"Got it out for me?" she repeated, tilting her head and looking at him confused, "What's that mean?"

"Uh," still scratching his black hair, "He's… ya know, extra mean to you and all…"

The little girl frowned, setting her head on her arms, "he just doesn't like it when I try magic I'm not supposed to…"

"Like that?" there was a weird smirk on Jowan's face when he pointed at the book under her arms.

"Yea," those crystalline eyes narrowed on the black haired human boy, "You're not gonna tell him are you?"

He raised his hands defensively, "Course not…"

The little elf girl grunted, wondering if she could trust this human boy. –_What was that word the other elf-kids call them…?_- "_Shem_..."

"Hey!" he shouted.

She smirked.

xXx

-9 years from Ostegar

Walking through the lower library, Tess was carrying a stack of books in her arms, heading towards one of the tables. She passed by a Templar guard who was just standing there between the bookshelves, silent as a statue like most of them were. She was used to the presence of eyes always around her, it had been that way for as long as she could remember, as long as she'd been at the tower, but something about this Templar seemed '_off_' to her…

Stopping about three steps past the Templar, the little elf-girl paused before walking backwards to stand right in front of the Templar. She looked up at his helmeted head, arm twitching as if she wanted to make a gesture but couldn't because of the books in her hands. Instead her white brows furrowed, crystalline eyes staring straight into the man's helmet and her head tilted just a bit, "You're really short for a Templar…"

The young man in armor made some extremely undignified sound and seemed to fidget all over. If Tess didn't know any better she'd say he was embarrassed. Her ear twitched as the furrow of her white brows between red tattoos increased, "Don't you know how to be a _proper_ Templar?" she snorted rolling her eyes and looking forward intent on continuing her way, "You're supposed to be '_quiet_' and just stand there like a statue watching us…"

"I'm still learning!" came the 'boy's' rough voice out of the helmet as he turned to the smaller girl completely.

Tess turned back to him, ear twitching curiously; normally they didn't '_talk_' either, "You're weird," a smile spread across her lips at the boy in armor's fidgeting nature.

He grumbled, scowling at her behind his helmet, "You're a mage!"

The little dark-skinned elf turned back to the taller Templar boy, "You're a _Shem_!"

There was a growl echoed from his helmet, "Elf!"

"Wannabe Templar," for whatever strange reason the little girl grinned widely, a sparkle in her crystalline eyes as she could hear the boy gearing up for some big witty retort.

"CULLEN!" the boy fidgeted as a loud booming voice came over the circular area.

The Templar-in-training clinched his fists, looking down ashamed of himself.

The little elf-girl stuck out her tongue grinning like she had won.

"THERESA!" then she too fidgeted just as bad as it turned out to be the Knight-Commander, Gregior, who walked in on the two arguing childishly.

Both 'children' turned to the imposing older man. 'Cullen' stood straight as a board at attention, perfectly pristine and inspection ready waiting for his Commander's punishment for his 'talking to a mage'. 'Theresa' on the other hand just gave a childish scowl at the old man that loved using the full-version of her name with the mild thought that the stack of book in her hands was getting heavy.

Gregior stood in front of both of them, hands on his hips and seeming as imposing as possible. He got the reaction he was looking for from Cullen, but of course Theresa wouldn't budge, she must have been going through that 'rebellious' phase early, "What's going on here?" he looked between them, noting how the Templar-in-training was fidgeting while the little elf just stared at him.

"C-commander," the teenage boy popped a salute shaking from head to toe, "I-I wa-was j-just st-sta-standing h-here-"

Thankfully Tess cut him off, sparing both her and the old man from trying to decipher his stuttering, "This Templar… er, Cullen was it?" the boy lowered his salute and she noticed his helmet nod, "Well I was passing '_Cullen_' here with my large stack of study-material," her arms jostled the large, over-her-head stack of random books she hadn't read yet, "And he offered to carry them for me…" the way she grinned made it so obvious she was lying but the little tattooed girl figured if she was going to get punished anyway might as well get something out of this.

"Hmm," Gregior rubbed his beard, looking down at the little girl. He knew she was lying, heard the two childishly name-calling each other, but she was willing to let the boy off the hook so easily? "Cullen!" his voice boomed as he turned narrowed eyes on the teenager, "is this true?"

"A-ah, w-w-well…" Cullen fidgeted, not sure what just happened. His helmeted head turned from one to the other not sure what to say.

"Answer the question boy," Gregior was back to being imposing with his hands on his hips and glaring down at the young man.

"Y-yes!" without thinking the human boy vigorously shook his head agreeing to whatever just happened.

The little girl giggled to herself at the boy's antics.

Gregior looked down at him, crossing his arms menacingly, "Very well then, help this _mage_," Tess stuck her tongue out at him and he caught it in the corner of his eye but the moment he turned towards her she was looking away as innocent as could be, "with her _study material_," his eyes narrowed on the little white-haired elf as she fidgeted under his gaze before turning back to Cullen and pointing at the spot he 'had' occupied, "then back to your post!"

"Y-Yes, Sir!" the boy popped another fearful salute.

"And you," he looked down at the little elf-girl, "Get back to your studies and stop pestering the Templers…"

Her right arm jerked like she wanted to pop a salute too but with the weight of the books that fell short. She turned towards the larger human boy giving him a look, "Little help here?" Cullen looked completely confused, but before he knew it the little white-haired elf-girl was shoving the mass of books into his arms. With that weight off her chest, Tess grinned menacingly at the senior Templar before popping a mock-salute, "Yes Gregior-Commander, Sir!" before turning and giggling to herself towards the table she had intended to drop that pile of books off on.

"Hmp," the Knight-Commander frowned slightly, expecting as much from the little girl.

"C-Comander?" the Templar-boy asked hesitantly, situating the books in his arms.

Gregior looked at the boy, "You just got here right?"

The teenager gulped, nodding his helmet.

"Hmp," the old man looked back at the 'terror of the tower' as he liked to call her. In the seven years since he'd brought her here she hadn't _exactly_ been that bad, it was just easy to spot her when something blew up or certain books went missing, plus he had it in mind that some of the other students just blamed her for things because she was that 'odd elf' and stood out too much. Of course their 'relationship' meant she acted out towards the other Templers, causing her more problems than the mages at times. A long drawn out sigh escaped the Knight-Commander's lips, "Watch that one," He looked down at the boy seriously, lad must have been 15 or 16, not yet a man and still a bit of a boy, "If she's not in here reading a book she's probably about causing havoc, so keep a close watch on her…"

"Y-yes, Sir," the boy numbly nodded, not sure what to think of the Knight-Commander's 'order'.

"And Cullen," the old man said over his shoulder as he turned to leave, "Be careful," the old man's eyes were serious as he glanced at the boy, before turning and leaving. He said low, not sure if the boy could hear him, "You're not the first Templar she's gotten in trouble…"

xXx

-4 years from Ostegar

It was late one night; Tess was the last person in the Library, as usual, pouring over a book, as usual, on the theory of entropy magic. The white-haired young woman's head was propped up on one arm as she absently turned another page. It was a newer book they'd received from the Antivan Tower, their mages making some progress in the field, and despite her being only an 'apprentice' managed to get her hands on it once all the older mages had gone to sleep.

Her crystalline colored eyes traveled the page with ease, though her eyelids drooped more than once and her head started nodding. She could feel it, that itch in the back of her mind every time her eyes managed to close for short moments, the fade was calling her and if she didn't finish this tome soon it'd win.

Her elbow slipped under the weight of her tiredness and if the sudden 'dropping' feeling hadn't woke her up she was sure her jaw would have become intimately familiar with the wooden table. A low growl exited the junior mage's throat as she rubbed her eyes, leaning back slightly while stretching, "Just a bit more…"

"Studying hard I see?" came a voice from behind her.

The elven teen nearly jumped out of her chair, her head whipping around and spotting the candle behind her. Those crystalline eyes of hers traveled from the bright light, up the familiar robes of a Senior Enchanter and finally rested on the face of an older human woman. The young elven woman's eyes were wide as she gulped, having no idea what time it was nor why this Senior Enchanter was here at such an hour, "S-Senior Enchanter?"

The elderly woman chuckled, waving her hand, "Hush child, no need for formality, you're not in trouble," despite her words the young girl didn't lose the skittish look on her face. Wynne had seen the girl around a small bit, the Library mostly when she wasn't attending to her 'official' studies, "What are you reading this late at night?"

The girl gulped again, her eyes turning towards the ground as her hand on the table absently tried to hide the book.

Wynne cocked a brow at her unconscious actions, the smirk on her wizen lips widening just the slightest, "Something you're not supposed to, Hmm?"

The young woman's eyes flared and jumped back to the senior woman, "It's not like that!" she all but yelled, her hand climbing to her lips when she realized how loud she'd been. Looking down again the girl looked embarrassed, "It's just something new…"

"I see," Wynne moved around the girl, closer to the table and running her hand over the cover of the book once the elf had removed her own, slumping in her chair like a pouting child caught in the act, "Though if I'm not mistaken this tome is meant for older, more experienced mages?" the older woman's eyes traveled to the sulking elf, her lips perking as the girl's mood hadn't changed, "Not quite something for apprentices?"

The young elven woman raised her head, white brows furrowing in the light of their combined candles. With her head raised and the added light Wynne could finally confirm it was who she thought, there was only one elf at the tower with that dark skin and seemingly growing tattoos across her face, Theresa. The younger woman scowled at her senior, apparently disapproving of the elder woman's assessment, "I've a knack for Entropy skills, I need something more to learn if I'm ever going to improve…"

The Senior Enchanter nodded absently, she could not deny that the girl had the right idea, "We study and learn magic so as better to control it," the older woman looked down at the girl sternly, her only curiosity now was her intentions, "Do you seek to learn to better control yourself?"

The young woman's lips pursed, brows flattening in a furrow, "I seek knowledge to help me understand," her crystalline eyes traveled to the table a pout forming on her face, "It's the only thing I ever seek to do…"

Wynne stepped closer to the girl, curious, she'd never gotten an answer like that, " 'To understand' hmm?" the older woman smiled lightly, placing her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder.

When Tess looked up with surprised eyes she saw the Senior Enchanter smiling at her and she didn't know why. One of her ears twitched.

The older woman patted her shoulder, "Get some sleep child," her grin spread as she walked past her, lightly throwing over her shoulder, "The book will be there tomorrow…"

xXx

-2 months from Ostegar

"Hey," there was a nudge on the female elf's shoulder. A very annoying, loud nudge, "C'mon, Tess, wake up~!"

The white haired female elf ungracefully growled at the man trying to wake her up, she knew that voice, known it for the past decade or so as the voice of her _best_ friend, or as she liked to call him her 'favored annoyance', "Jowan… whaaat~?" she whined openly, cuddling her pillow under her covers just a bit tighter, ignoring the human man.

"Tess~," he sounded antsy, not that it took much to make him antsy, always freaking out with the latest test for apprentices and so on, "Its important!"

A tan ear twitched under the white hair before the woman turned just enough to look over her shoulder and glare with a single crystalline eye at the fidgety human male, "What?" the gruffness of her voice spoke volumes to just how important sleep was at the moment to her.

The man raised a black brow, hands on his hips that were around head level for her, "Were you up all night again?"

The disgruntled woman rolled on her back, rubbing her eye with the hand closest to him while the other still held the pillow, "So?"

The scruffy older human glared mildly at her, "I swear, how do you get _this_," he held up one hand containing a sealed letter, "When all you do is spend all night in the library reading those _saucy fantasies_!"

The woman squint-glared at him, "Its research you jerk," a yawn let itself known against her will, "and it's my day off…" one crystalline eyes cracked open and squinted the letter in his hand, something in her hazy waking up brain registering that was important…

"Pfft," Jowan tossed the letter in her lap, "Whatever, still don't see how _you_ got that before me…" he crossed his arms over his chest with a mild scowl over his face.

The tan and tattooed elf woman blinked a moment looking down at the letter. It was a normal sealed envelope, addressed to her and nothing else remarkable about it on the front. Tentatively she grabbed the thing, half-expecting it to burst into flames or something at her touch. Luckily it didn't and she flipped it over, spying the seal of the first enchanter keeping the thing closed.

_That_ got her attention.

"By the Maker…" she blinked, flipping it back over, "Is… is this?" her confused eyes looked up to her longtime friend, practically her only friend, with an obvious question in them.

Despite Jowan's previously angsty mood the scruffy slightly older man grinned, "Looks like it," he chuckled at the completely dumbstruck look on her face. Absently he scratched the side of his face, "Congratulations I guess…" he watched as the small elven woman looked back down at the letter, his mouth forming a thin line, he was trying to be 'happy' for her, "Not many people get that at your age…"

"It's practically unheard of," she said absently sliding her finger under the seal and breaking it, opening the envelope and tentatively pulling out the folded piece of paper. She swallowed audibly, reading the few words on the sheet of old paper.

"So?" the taller man leaned in to look over her shoulder, "What's it say?"

" 'Noon, day after tomorrow, come to the top of the Tower'," she swallowed hard again, blinking before turning to stare at Jowan, "You know what this means?"

A grin pricked at the edge of the black haired man's lips, he had been waiting to get one of those, hell a lot of people had been waiting to receive one, and of all of them it was the weird little elf girl years their junior. He smiled succinctly, teeth showing and everything, "Well I guess it'll be your Harrowing then, eh?"

Suddenly a grin spread across the woman's face, wide and innocently stupid as she practically threw herself at the longtime friend, hugging him around the neck, "I'm going to be a mage!"

Tess was too caught up in the moment to realize that he never hugged her back.

xXx

-1 week from Ostegar

Tess sat staring at the fire at their camp. Her normally so bright and vibrant crystalline eyes were dull and listless as she just stared at the bight, chaotic energy in front of her. There was no emotion on her face, no defiant pout, no thinking in her brow, even her pointy ears were still. She was just staring.

-_Why did it all have to happen…-_ it was the only thing running around in her mind, remembering what had happened a few weeks ago. Less than a month as an official mage and she'd botched it up brilliantly, naively thinking she was saving her '_friend_' when really she was only helping a traitor escape. For a moment she wondered about Lily, what she was going to have to go through at Aunor thanks to that bastard. –_Did he even love her?_- it was something she had been wondering, was it all an act or was he really just that stupid…

Was _she_ really just that stupid?

"You look like you have something on your mind, child?" a calm male voice spoke next to her and Duncan sat down at her side calmly and quietly like he seemed to do everything.

The younger woman frowned momentarily, looking away from the Grey Warden, the man whom she owed her life to, "Just thinking…" her voice was low and flat, "Wondering what in the world I'm doing here…"

The salt and pepper haired older man gave a mild chuckle, "Aren't we all?"

Tess glanced at the old man for his bizarre question, her white brows furrowing in mild anger at his semi-jovial attitude.

"You're not the first person to be betrayed by a friend," he said calmly, ignoring the fire that burned in her eyes at the mention of the word 'friend'. Duncan sighed as he ran a hand over his salt and pepper hair, "And you most certainly won't be the last…"

The younger woman growled in her throat, preferring not to verbally answer as she went back to staring at the fire. Her mind was on fire with all the ideas that thought gave her, she didn't know if she was _supposed_ to have known Jowan was a blood mage? Didn't know if she _should_ know whether or not he actually cared for Lily? Didn't know if she even wanted to think about if he _actually_ cared about her? A million unanswerable questions with no answer and no end, just…

A hand came down on her shoulder and Tess looked over to see Duncan giving her a sincere smile, "Get some sleep Child, asking yourself all those things you _should've_ done won't get you anywhere," his larger hand squeezed her shoulder trying to reassure her and steer her from this self-destructive path, "All that matters now is how you step forward…"

For a moment, just a small moment, Tess felt like she was that small toddler on the boat to the Tower with Gregior holding her hand. Unshed tears filled her eyes but if Duncan noticed he didn't say anything.

He just smiled gently, "Are you going to carry this with you, have it drag you down and make you hesitate at every turn with every new person you meet?" his eyes crinkled as if there was some hidden joke in his words that she didn't get, "Or are you going to push that to the side and start over with everyone new you meet?" he lifted his hand and gave her a pat on the head as he stood up, looking down only for a moment more, "Give them the chance you never had?"

Crystalline eyes widened just a fraction as she stared up at the older Warden, "How…?" was all she could get out.

The older human male gave that grandfatherly smile of his, hands on his hips in a comfortable way, "Like I said, you're not the only one…" he patted her head again before turning and walking towards his bedroll, "Get some sleep, we'll be in Ostegar the day after tomorrow…"

xXx

8 months from Ostegar

The elf woman stared up at the solitary building in the center of Lake Calenhad. She remembered it being so much bigger the first time she saw it, amazed by the structure and its strangeness. Now it was just another tower to her, nothing special, at least that's what she told herself. Against perhaps the better judgment of the boat's other occupants, the tan and tattooed elven woman stood up at the front of the boat, stock still and stern with her arms crossed and eyes solely on the Tower.

"Quite the happy homecoming, T'is not?" the witch, unused to boat travel, sat on one side, head propped up on her hands trying to maintain as much stability as possible. The black haired woman openly glowered at the manmade structure, in the _middle_ of a bloody lake, wondering who in their right mind thought that was a good idea.

Tess seemed to ignore her, continuing her vigil and not so much as moving.

"Yes, It seems enraptured," the disgruntled stone spoke next, sitting as low in the back the boat as possible. Stone over water wasn't typically a 'smart' idea but their leader ensured the golem it'd be fine… so long as few people as possible went with it on this trip. Looking around with its glowing eyes Shale spotted the Templar pushing that stupid stick up and down to move them along at a snail's pace along the water, to the witch who looked relatively irritated if not confused and finally their leader, in her full plate armor just standing at the other end still as a board and staring at the unnatural structure. The construct propped its head on one hand sinking further into the boat, _slightly_ shaking it, "Cheery…"

The rock was enough to nearly tip Morrigan out but the witch held on to the side for dear life before sending her irritated golden glare at the stone, "T'was that necessary?"

Glowing eyes looked at her, and for a moment the living stone agreed with the paltry knight's claim she was like a cat. A puffed up angry cat about to get soaked, the thought brought a devious grin to Shale's lips, "Yes, absolutely…"

Gold eyes glared at the construct, before turning back to their oddly stoic leader, completely ignoring the frightened Templar who decided to row just a bit faster, "Are you honestly just going to stand there and stare at that abhorrent thing?"

Tess' head shifted slightly, only one eye looking at the witch over her shoulder.

For a moment, a very _small_ moment, the Witch of the Wilds was frozen in place. The look their leader passed her was not something the young apostate had _ever_ seen on the elven woman's face. Not in the forest, not in the swamp, not when her and that twit argued and drove everyone else nuts, not when the bard pestered the Qunari or Stone for inane details or the male elf luridly flirted with _everyone_. It wasn't even a look she'd seen the small white haired woman give to enemy darkspawn. There was something so _wrong_ with that look she couldn't fully register what it was.

Then the elven woman turned away.

And Morrigan remembered what it meant to breathe.

The witch blinked, not sure what just happened, but decided to _not_ try anything overly tempestuous while here. She knew it was a den of Templars and Chantry Mages, and _normally_ that wouldn't mean squat to her, but if the look she just received from their leader, the woman who grinned and giggled at the most inane things and accepted everyone with a smile was any indication what they should expect from this place… well… "T'is no mind," the witch said under her breathe, turning and looking out across the lake instead of at that stupid Tower.

"Well this just got boring," the golem muttered, crossing its arms and causing the boat to shake again, not that anyone said anything _this_ time.

The Templar decided faster was better; he still had the _rest_ of Tess' group to bring back after all…

X

The muted frown hadn't left Tess' face once the three were let in, the Templar rowing the boat saying to wait inside while they picked up everyone else. Tess just stared ahead of her, trying to not let _being_ here get the better of her. A glance to her right and she could see Morrigan just looking from one templar to the next, bored enough to start threatening with her eyes. To her left Shale was grinning from 'ear' to metaphorical 'ear', the golem looking like it was just as equally about to let loose some mayhem on the Tower guardians.

For a small moment Tess debated about the sanity of bringing perhaps the two most 'anti-mage' people in her group first…

"Theresa…"

The elven woman's ears perked at the long unheard familiar voice. Tess turned just slightly, her eyes cold as she spied the closest thing to a father she had, "Gregior…"

At the bizarrely flat sound of their leader's voice both Witch and Golem turned from their glare-threatening to their short pointy-eared leader.

Morrigan raised a black brow, turning her golden gaze to the stone and asking it the obvious question in a barely audible whisper, "Theresa?"

The stone's only response was a slight lifting of the shoulders as it blinked back towards the tense atmosphere.

The witch rolled her eyes, turning back to their normally demented leader. A scowl crossed her lips as she watched the shorter dark skinned woman. Her eyes were sharp, looking solely at the armored man-in-a-dress in front of her, who appeared to be older than the other Templers and carried an air of command about him. The witch tried to appear bored but the amount of aggressive magic in the area mixed with fear and Templar magic made it rather stifling.

"That's Knight-Commander to you, mage!" some whelp of a Templar came up next to the older man and spoke up.

An elf, witch, and golem just stared at the younger man flatly; there was no need for anyone to mention that the older Templar glanced at the young man side long too.

"Yes," Morrigan spoke first snidely, tapping her staff as she took a step next to their diminutive leader, "And T'would be 'Witch of the Wilds'," with her free hand she pointed to herself, " 'Eons old Golem'," a wave to Shale, "And last but not least, 'The Grey Warden'," her hand indicated their leader, "to you," before slamming her staff on the ground accenting her point and snidely looking at the younger Templar. The look in the Witch's golden demon eyes were just _asking_ for him, or anyone, to say something.

"What are you doing back here?" the older Templar said, completely ignoring his junior's tone or the witch, he and the 'Grey Warden' in their own conversation. The older man's voice wasn't particularly friendly, nor the kind of aggressiveness of someone with some horrendous problem, as they were used to running in to. It was his eyes as they burrowed into their leader that made both Golem and Witch pause before commenting.

"I'm a Grey Warden, Knight-Commander," the elven woman crossed her armor-clad arms over her chest, something in her tone changing but those listening couldn't quite understand it. There was a shift in Gregior's eyes though, as he looked down at the smaller white-haired woman, he understood it, "I've come to request the aid of the Circle of Megi in defeating the blight…"

There were gasps and murmurs from the younger Templers surrounding the trio, causing the Witch and Golem to mildly glare at them curiously. Their leader only had eyes for the Knight-Commander.

There was a very small flinch in Gregior's eyes at the mention of the Circle and he knew she saw it when those piercing crystalline eyes narrowed just the slightest. The older man sighed, running a hand over his head, "That… may be impossible…"

The clicking sound of her juggernaut mail was the only indication that the woman had tensed or reacted at all to his words, "What happened Gregior…" it wasn't a question, it was a command, and that really got the older man's attention.

Gregior halted his motion, staring at her directly, _really_ taking her in for once. All her life he had seen the tiny elf-child he found in the forest half coated in blood innocently reaching for the top of the Tower. As a child she was a secluded little trouble-maker that instead of _trying_ to make friends tried to learn magic beyond her years, often having cataclysmic results. As a teenager she proved extremely apt at magic, quickly taking all she had illicitly learned and surpassing her teachers and pursuing knowledge beyond her years. She was the first mage of 20 for over a century. She was the first mage in over a century to also leave the Tower in such disgrace. Yet, here she was, almost a year later, harder, stronger, wearing plate armor of all things and looking him straight in the eye as if _she_ commanded _him_.

His jaw tightened and the old Templar couldn't understand why he suddenly felt '_proud_' of the small woman, "It started some months ago, when Uldred returned from Ostegar…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** i wanted to continue this, throwing in her seeing Wynne again, Cullen again at the top of the tower, going to Redcliffe and her seeing Jowan, going BACK to Redcliffe and 'dealing' with Jowan, and finally seeing Cullen again before the end... but it wouldn't flow, wouldn't work, and for some reason i felt as i was writing the last bit the became more about Gregior and Tess, or Theresa, and not the other people she met at the Tower, whether the two realize it or not (probably 'not') they've become a rather dysfunctional Father/Daughter dynamic... and i kind of giggled at that :3

and i suppose its not so much her 'coming home' as it is seeing her 'father' again now that she's changed...

parental acceptance is such a hard thing to achieve -holds up lighter-

well, anyone out there, tell me what ya think :3

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	14. Bad

**A/N:** and a hardy 'happy thanksgiving' for those of you on FFnet :3

this little bit is a collection of silly ideas i had for either one-liners or just crack scenes that didn't really fit anywhere else and i simply wrote them down as a means to not forget... re-reading and deciding i had to share them 'somehow', i dredged up what would be a decent final scene to round this out into a length at least worth reading... the last two are a part of my most recent play through that i beat some time ago, but honestly, what i was thinking at the time XD

so, without further ado...

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>Decidedly 'Bad' Decisions…<p>

**Bad-mouthing Jowan:**

While talking with Jowan and Lily about escaping, "Yes, I'll do all the dirty work, while you stay here and make out with your chantry wench," blaze fair wave of the hand back at the dark haired mage while he growls and she gasps.

"Tess!"

**Drinking weird potions in succession:**

"Ooh, I wonder what these are?" Tess poked one of the two vials sitting on a desk at the top of the tower at Soilder's Peak.

Alistair looked at her with a peaked worried brow, "I'd probably not mess with the ancient vials of who-knows-what-concoction," his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he stepped closer, "They could be some kind of acid… or something…"

Morrigan rolled her eyes as she snorted, "Idiots," the wilds mage had a dusty and ages old journal in her hand, lightly skimming it as she walked up behind to two armor clad morons, "T'is some experimental potions, if these notes are to be believed…" She flipped a page nonchalant, not bothering to looked at the 'idiots' any more.

Tess' ear twitched as she poked the other vial, "So what do they do?"

There was something that sounded like an irritated groan as the dark mage flipped the page again, "Yes, ask me, I'm the one with the book of answers…"

Alistair looked over his shoulder with narrowed eyes at the witch's flippant tone, "No need to sound so 'over taxed'," he crossed his arms, facing her fully, "You are holding that journal that was conveniently near these things, and quite frankly I'd rather not mess with some mystery mage-thing."

" 'Mage-Thing', yes," She rolled her golden eyes, "Your astuteness astounds me at times," The not-Templar just glared at her, which she responded with a superior smirk, "Well, since you asked _sooo_ nicely," Tess snorted while still looking at the two vials, her companions ignoring her, "According to this musty old journal, one is meant to improve a Warden's vitality and combat abilities… the other," she shrugged, "Looks as though T'is meant to bestow some form of blood magick ability, allowing the user to build a vital connection to an opponent and meant to crush them from the inside out while restoring the Warden's own strength…" She read it rather flatly; if there was one thing Morrigan inherited from her mother it was the old hag's distain for blood magic. Why use magick when wit was perfectly capable of controlling foes just as well… and when that didn't work, so did a nice fireball or cone of cold.

"Ugh," Alistair had an amusing grimace on his face as he just stared at the wild woman with his mouth hanging open.

Sensing idiots staring, Morrigan raised a black brow and turning her golden demon eyes from the book, "Something the matter, dolt, or are you trying to catch flies like that?"

His stare continued, "How can you just stand there and read that like there's nothing wrong with it?"

Black brow rose, "There are many paths to power, some simple others unusual," she stood straight staring 'down' at the taller man, "I've no interest in methods such as this, though it seems former Wardens thought it necessary," her eyes narrowed as she frowned, as close to a grimace as she was going to get, "I've no liking for this form of magic, its repugnant, and only proves how weak and ill-prepared you Wardens are," she took a step closer to the man who was now glaring at her, "Begs the question, just how far would you go to see an end to this?"

Alistair just stayed silent, glaring down at the witch. He hated her at that moment, not only for damning the Wardens but questioning his own intentions in one fell blow. It was an odd consolation knowing that she was just as repulsed by the experiments and actions taken in this place, but it wasn't enough to excuse her damning the Wardens.

"So, uh," The two glaring at each other turned to see their diminutive leader holding both vials, a white brow raised on her features as she blinked at the 'almost' fight about to start between the two, "Which one's which?"

Whatever tension there was immediately evaporated as the witch and not-Templar just stared at their leader. She wasn't honestly considering…

"Oh, well," the armor clad elf shrugged, "Guess two's better than one," and before either of her companions could stop her, Tess had tilted her head back and downed both potions. When she was done she gave a satisfied 'Ahh' and tossed both now-empty vials over her shoulder to crash into a wall somewhere, "Alright, let's go!"

Alistair and Morrigan just stared, mouths may or may not have been left hanging open at the 'stupidity' of their leader…

… Who took all of three steps before falling flat on her face.

"TESS!" Alistair immediately went to the fallen woman's side, turning her over and checking for a pulse, it was erratic but still there.

Morrigan's hand met face, "Idiot," She stomped over to their downed leader, a scowl marring her dark features, as she crouched next to the apparently unconscious woman and slapping her across the face with no reaction, "You never, NEVER, consume two potions, LET ALONE UNKNOWN POTIONS, in immediate succession!"

Alisair grimaced, "S-she's alive, it can't b-be that bad?"

Morrigan's molten fury turned towards the not-Templar, "She's lucky to be alive!" The witch sat back, frown obvious on her face as she crossed her arms, "We have no idea what could happen, mixing those potions together."

**_Drinking with Oghren:_**

"Now alright, girl," the stout little red-haired dwarf pointed emphatically at the taller elf-woman, "all ya gotta do is drink this, touch your nose, stand on one foot, and manage to grab that cherry off the bar with your teeth, got it!"

Tess looked pumped as she nodded firmly.

The red-headed dwarf laughed, "That's the spirit, we'll make a dwarf of you yet," he slapped her on the shoulder before throwing a brew in her hand, "Time to start girl!"

Tess looked at the brew with determination, this was it, she finally got to drink Oghren's special brew…

She took one sip and fell flat on her ass…

Everyone in camp agreed, never try Oghren's special brew.

**_Drinking Dragon Blood for kicks:_**

"I've been wondering," Morrigan said as she looked at their leader, cup in hand of the 'new' Andraste's blood, "What is it with you and drinking strange liquids…" there was a mild shutter that the others didn't notice, "Particularly the blood of dangerous creatures?"

Alistair scratched his stubbly chin, "as much as I'm hating to admit this the witch does have a point," he eyed their pointy eared leader, "The joining, the vials in Avernus' tower…"

"Oghren's ale…" the witch added flatly.

The not-Templar shivered before continuing, "And all of them end up with you knocked out on your arse…"

Crystalline eyes blinked.

Kolgrin grunted, "Just drink it and gain eternal knowledge!"

"You heard the crazy cultist!" and with that their illustrious leader tipped back the silver chalice filled with dragon's blood…

… and fell over on her side completely unconscious…

"And here we go again…" Morrigan muttered, hand firmly on face.

**_Sneaking into Howe's place:_**

"I've a question," Morrigan asked bluntly while the four of them were crowded around behind a bush wearing stupid looking armor.

"Not now woman," Alistair said a bit harsher than normal.

Gold eyes glared at him, "One being why exactly I'm _here?_" she looked at their gathered group, "Although looking around T'is seems hardly out of place…"

"Oh, and what makes you say that?" Zevran suavely asked the luscious dark woman.

Gold eyes glared even more at him, "Primarily I'm wondering how in all creation we're to pull this off when the only one of us that can pass as a decent guard is Alistair!" she growled pointing at the man.

"I-wha?" said man turned to her, flabbergasted she called him by his name instead of some insult, it was really scary.

The witch's eyes became flat on him, "I take that back…"

"Hmm," all eyes turned to their leader as the dark skinned elf tapped her chin, "She may have a point…"

Two sets of brows rose, "How so?" "You don't say?"

Crystalline eyes blinked at the echo from the two men, "Well, let's see, Morrigan doesn't wear armor, or clothing, well," the witch snorted, "Zevran's too short to be a guard… and has Giorgio following him around," she pointed at the giant poisonous spider Zevran had started loving to summon with his new ranger abilities, "And I'm partially incorporeal…" she pointed at herself, having her evolved combat magic active that made her technically a spirit and half-way in the fade. She stuck her hand through her chest to prove the point…

"I… see…" Alistair, the apparently only 'normal' one of the four of them nodded slowly, "This does seem like something of a mix up…"

"You think?" Morrigan gripped.

"Who votes we just tear in there and blow the place up until we find the queen," Tess raised her hand, Zevran and Morrigan's following hers with muffled shouts of 'aye', Alistair's hand met face.

"Wait," Alistair looked at their leader, something the witch had said sticking in his mind, "Why did we bring the witch?" Gold eyes glared at the finger pointing at her, "Why not bring Leliana…"

Both elves went 'oooh' and Morrigan just shook her head.

"What?" the bastard prince questioned.

"My friend," Zevran put his hand on the larger man's shoulder, "from what I've gathered the last time dear Leliana was here, specifically, she was beaten and nearly tortured to death…"

"Don't forget betrayed and possibly violated," Tess raised one hand to make a point while giving her graphic statement in a practically nonchalant manner.

Morrigan shivered, "Did not need to know that…"

The elves looked at the humans, shared a look, then stared at them again flatly.

"Plus no one else would pass as a 'normal'," Tess used air quotes, " 'Human'," still using them air quotes, "in armor to be one of Howe's guards…"

Alistair raised a strawberry blonde brow, going through the list in his head and realizing there was only one other human in their camp, "Wynne?"

"Requires a staff and do you see any guards that are 'mages'?" Tess said flatly before pointing at Morrigan in clothing, "And Morrigan's proven more than apt with two blades in her hands…"

"Which is something that still amazes me every time I see it," Zevran added luridly.

Both humans rolled their eyes.

"Fine…" Morrigan growled before glaring gold at the two elves, "Though T'would still be a better plan if you were to lose the spider and _you_ became of the earthly realm again…"

Both elves pouted in unison, "Spoilsport!"

**_Reciting Shakespearian prose at inappropriate times:_**

"You all have been charged with kidnapping the Queen," Sire Catherine spoke as she held her broad sword in one hand and pointed at the motley group of offenders, including what looked like a ghost, wild woman, elf, idiot and giant spider. How the hell did these idiots '_sneak_' into Arl Howe's estate, find the Queen's guest chambers, and manage to 'kidnap' her? "Hand her over quickly and you will be killed!"

"Shouldn't that be 'or killed'?" Alistair held one hand up in question while Morrigan just shook her head next to him.

"No… no, sounds about right from what I'm used to," Zevran mused while absently petting Giorgio.

Anora held her hand out as if to grab their 'leader' by the short woman's pauldron, then remembered she was effectively a 'ghost' and couldn't exactly be touched half the time, "G-Grey Warden," when the 'ghost' turned her way, or she assumed it was her way with her face being unreadable since it was partly see-through, "Perhaps it would be best to surrender now, and I can talk them down from an execution…"

There may or may not have been a snort from the decidedly grumpier then normal Witch.

Zevran slapped his hand against his thigh, "Ha! That's funny!"

"Lemme think," Alistair piped in with a bored look, "We're currently in the company of a Crow, Witch, Bastard, and Tess," he held out one finger for each. When a giant furry leg poked him and he turned to find the spindly 'face' of Giorgio the 'bastard' gulped, "I mean, 'And' Giorgio," holding out his thumb and quickly looking away from the spider, "No, I don't think that's going to work your highness…"

Anora gave her husband's bastard brother a harsh glare, as if his even speaking in her presence was an affront to her power.

"Pfft," Tess shrugged, or at least that's what the others assumed, it was really hard to tell with the whole 'ghost' deal from her combat magic.

"Your answer, Grey Warden!" Sire Catherine bellowed again, accented by the crossbowmen at her sides raising their weapons and aiming them at the glowing 'ghost'.

Tess, their questionably insane leader, took several steps forward and off to the side, all the crossbowmen following the silent woman as she went. The ghost stood there for a moment, looking at nothing as far as anyone could tell before she 'turned' on Sire Catherine, flat eyes on her glowing form with her hands held neatly behind her back, "I'd like to see you try…"

The dark haired woman merely frowned, held out her broad sword and shouted to her men, "FIRE!"

A hail of crossbow fire ejected itself at the solitary warden.

Anora screamed while covering her eyes.

Morrigan rolled her eyes.

Alistair sighed.

And Zevran and Giorgio just smiled.

Most of the crossbow bolts bounced off the battle mage's mage aura, what few made it through simply passed right through the 'ghost'. The normally dark skinned and vibrantly tattooed female elf just continued to look very blaze fair, "Is that all?"

The crossbowman gapped.

At the sound of Tess' voice, Anora turned back to see the 'ghost' as fine as she'd ever been, "Wha-how?"

Again Morrigan rolled her golden cat eyes, but felt this moment appropriate to comment, "T'would honestly be a surprise if such a trifle could harm **_THE_** Grey Warden at this point…"

Her other companions only nodded.

Sire Catherine was not amused, "Reload!" she barked at her men, not realizing the Warden's Miasma had most of her men moving sluggishly while the rest were too stupefied by the ghost to bother trying. The dark haired commander faced her opponent, hand gripped tightly on her blade…

The Warden made a 'come hither' motion…

… and the female knight growled, drawing her blade back and charging at the elf-woman, intent on skewering the blasphemer.

There were two things Sire Catherine failed to take into account. One, Tess' advanced combat magic was still active and made her partially a member of the fade, so to the tiny woman's companions it was no surprise when the female-knight's large blade simply phased right through her. And two, if it actually _did _any damage, this was Tess the Grey Warden, she'd taken down Flemeth, Fade demons, an Arisen Andraste, and backhanded ogres any day of the week, particularly on Fridays since they always seem to like spoiling Fridays, a little sword in the gut? Nothing…

So again, while it was no surprise to anyone else on the diminutive lunatic's side, Sire Catherine was rather stunned. Her eyes trailed her blade as she could see it going straight through the glowing ghostly Warden, all the way up to the woman's see-through face that didn't look one bit amused. While looking into those glowing eyes, Sire Catherine gulped.

The next instant involved a distinct heavily plated, _corporeal,_ fist going right into the female-knight's face that sent her to the ground.

Tess' group could only sigh at the crazy little elf's newfound love of theatrics…

Wiping the blood from the cut of the rather 'real' feeling gauntlet, or a broken nose, Sire Catherine looked back up at the 'ghost'. Tess was cracking her knuckles in a threatening manner staring down at the female-knight, her broad sword still sticking out of the woman's chest. The downed woman glared, lowered her hand and made a move to get up, grab her sword and finish what she started…

Tess opened one hand and shot a blast of death magic right into the woman's face…

Catherine stumbled back onto the ground, rubbing her eyes and trying to remove the stinging pain of the bubbling magic.

There was a strange sound of a sword being removed…

… and Sire Catherine had only a moment to look up to see her own blade, now ghostly and glowing in the hand of the little Elf Mage, seeming far bigger and looming then it normally was…

Only for it to quickly come down, and Sire Catherine was no more.

Anora was holding a hand over her mouth, blue eyes wide in absolute shock at what the so laid-back and whimsical Warden had done. Through their quick travel she had thought the female Warden was gentle, loony, spastic and totally out there as she charged ahead idiotically with a blade as big as she was, and the stupidity in the tactic while claiming to be a _'mage'_, but overall she'd seemed… the least threatening, to say the least. Despite her whimsy, stupidity and questionable choices, she'd still seemed… well Anora didn't remember whatever she'd thought as the ghost woman leaned down and picked up Sire Catherine's head, laying the dead woman's broadsword easily on her shoulder.

"Alas poor Catherine," The questionably sane elf was holding the dead woman's head aloft atop one hand, seemingly speaking to it with a rather placid look on her face, "I knew her, Giorgio~" the giant spider chitter happily, expecting to get a taste of that little morsel in the little elf-woman's hand, "A lady of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy," the dramatic elf raised the woman's head as if exonerating her, only really accomplishing scaring the piss out of anyone that didn't really know her, "she hath borne me on her shoulders a thousand times," adding a touch more flair, and slight fake weeping, "and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!" shunning by covering her face into her shoulder, "My gorge rises at it." Turning back to the still rather fresh decapitated head with what could only be considered a '_creepy_' look in her eyes, "Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft." Someone gagged in the background, most likely Morrigan, "Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?"

"Are you finished?!" The dark wilds mage scowled when the little psycho turned back towards her compatriots. Alistair looked like he was going to hurl and Zevran and Giorgio looked close to tears at her performance.

The little white haired ghost-elf blinked.

Morrigan scowled further, pointing at the little psychopath, "Do something about _that_ 'fore it blows apart your arm!"

There was a collective gasp from those not in the Warden's party, though the woman herself seemed to just sigh, "Fine," she gave a weary complaint, tossing the head of Sire Catherine towards the crossbowmen behind her, taking the woman's sword as her trophy and not bothering to look back as the disturbed men instinctively caught the thing, "Ruin my fun why don't you…"

The next second was filled with a giant explosion as Sire Catherine's head managed to take out the rest of the crossbowmen that stood in the group's way. If there were men not killed in the blast they either remained down and feigned death or were simply knocked out. Either way, the few that survived that day would spread stories of the horror that was Sire Catherine's death at the hands of the **_INSANE_** Grey Warden.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** nothing says 'Happy Thanksgiving' like Shakespeare and dark comedy XD yes, Tess' lines to Sire Catherine's head is actually only a 'slightly' modified version of the real lines from Hamlet to poor Yorick... why would Tess know shakespeare? who knows, they live in fantasy Britain and she grew up in a library, put two and two together XD

the comment about drinking blood is valid, while i didn't 'keep' that run in my 'cannon', because i can't bring myself to follow the crazy cultist and destroy Andraste's ashes, even though i had Sten and Morrigan and both were like 'this is stupid', i did do that little bit to get Reaver and thought it was freakin' hilarious, because at that point, yea, why has my Warden drunken so much random blood?

and yes, i named the spider Giorgio, originally it was just a joke, then it just kind of stuck :P

alas, by the end there, since once you're set for the blighted landsmeet everything's about over, my entire crew was just so angsty, and Tess being the most, its no wonder they're all rather bored with a little bloodshed and annoying humans :P Anora's going to think twice about pulling any shenanigans on this crazy lot... XD

oh well, happy holidays, hope you enjoy...

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	15. Sparkles

**A/N:** because i got Inquisition, have been having a lot of fun with it, and remembering how much i love my original Warden... like the Inquisitor sure, but no one beats Tess...

and i found Dagna and this weird conversation sprang to mind XD

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>Underkeep of Skyhold, over 10 years after the Fifth Blight…<p>

"So you were helped by a Grey Warden?" an oddly tall Qunari woman asked as she skeptically looked down at the dwarf woman in front of her.

Dagna practically squealed, "Well yea! She was special, anyone would tell you," the little red heads eyes brimmed brightly as she could barely contain all her cheeriness behind her smile, holding back just enough to remember fondly the woman that helped her become what she was today, "She was… _amazing!_ I mean she was 'The Hero of Feralden', but also a hero in Orzammar… among other things from what I heard," she more mumbled that last bit to herself… even if the obviously raised brow on the Qunari Inquisitioner made it obvious her version of 'mumble' was just a _slightly_ lower boisterous yelling, "Er," she coughed into her hand, million watt smile back in place, "Here she was all big… sorta… and titled, prepared to take on the Deep Roads and Archdemon… and she just stops and listens to this poor dwarf girl moping outside her house… I mean me!" she expressively referred to herself by clanging her hands on her chest plate, "Here the day before this other mage called be 'Lyrium addled' and snitched me out of my father, but no! Not her! And you know what was even more amazing!" the little dwarf woman was again excitedly grinning while holding her fists under her chin as she stared nearly three feet or more above her at the horned giantess.

"Er…" the Inquisitor leaned back slightly, the excitement the dwarven Arcanist wielded was a weapon in and of itself, "I hesitate to ask… what?"

Oh the sparkles, "She was _also_ a mage!"

The Qunari took a step back, wondering if anyone had mentioned to the deranged little dwarf she was _also_ a mage…

Dagna mercifully turned to the side, hands held in front of her, bright smile on her face as she looked back at those fond if brief memories, "Just imagine, a circle mage, made Grey Warden tasked with ending the Blight… and she stops to not only help a little dwarven girl in her dreams to study magic, but gives such a glowing recommendation her own Circle of Magi accepted me on the spot…"

"I'm not sure it was the recommendation that was glowing…" luckily the Inquisitor was capable of actual subtlety and mumbling to herself, taking a step back from the fanatic dwarf. The blacksmith in the back coughed something that sounded like 'sunshine sparkles' but she may have been hearing things.

Meanwhile, in exactly the same spot, if on the opposite side of the Fade and effectively hidden from the Inquisitor and her crafting posse…

"Pay up…" a gauntleted hand moved through the wispy green haze of the immaterial world as a disturbingly bright grin passed the elven woman's tan and tattooed face.

"Hmp," there was a huff from her left, "I don't know what you're talking about," the snide voice swatted the elf's hand away as golden demon eyes glared at the strange scene they were looking at through the Veil.

"Hehe," the woman in plate armor lowered her hand to her hips, grinning cheekily, "What? You owe me!"

"Since when?" the former Witch of the Wild's sneered, turning her nose up to the side.

"Admit it," the elven woman leaned towards her 'friend', "I know you were the one that called the girl crazy-"

"As I recall it was 'Lyrium Addled'…" Morrigan sneered as she flatly stared at her nails, ignoring the Grey Warden.

"Crazy," Tess grinned at the sneering witch, "And Ali told me when I got up-"

"After three hours of walking you around to get 'fresh air' after the hangover you got the night before…" gold eyes glared ahead of her, knowing better than to look the elf woman's way. Those Crystalline eyes were evil and a form of magic all their own…

Tess was obviously ignoring her sniping, caught in the _fabulous_ tale of her do-gooding, "And we saw this poor girl, sad as Leliana without a pair of new shoes-"

"From what I hear she does quite well without these days…" the dark woman mumbled to herself, knowing the white haired elf was in her own little world, as the witch idly glanced in the direction of the top tower where their former comrade likely was… reading letters about her nugs or some such rot.

Suddenly there was a hand around the taller witch's pale waist causing the Veil to shimmer around them. If any of the occupants in the room noticed they probably blamed it on that little dwarf's incipient joviality.

… and Morrigan _did not_ squeak. She is a former Witch of the Wilds and they _do not_ squeak.

Tess, oblivious as always to her companion's uncomfortableness, was waving her hand in a wide arc, shining crystalline eyes as the Fade around them shifted slightly, "This poor _little_ dwarven girl-"

The witch snorted, resigned to her fate, "You only liked Orzammar because everyone was finally shorter then you…"

"Shut it, I'm reminiscing," that terrible grin that brought cultists, barbarians, darkspawn and nobles to their knees nodded to Morrigan, who only rolled her golden demon eyes before the little terror continued, "And she told me her woes, and we set forth to set it right, letting her venture new paths yet unknown to her people or the world…"

"From what Alistair told me," the witch crossed her arms in a huff, "After nearly blubbering at her weepiness you charged into the shop, nearly blew it up, uncovered a secret path to a Carta warehouse, blew them up, somehow, and then told the man you were kidnapping his daughter and taking her to the Circle," Yes, Morrigan said that bluntly and was ticking off each offense on her fingers. This was considered _that_ normal to her…

"Spoilsport," the elf finally slumped, looking at the taller dark woman with a frown, "Besides you have to give me _some_ credit," the flat look the witch sent the Warden said she deserved anything but, "I was hungover!"

The woman rolled her golden eyes, knowing even without that, and that damnable not-quite-now-King-Templar's meddling the idiot would have somehow found the girl and this all would have happened. The Witch growled, "Remind me to throttle Alistair the next time I see him for that, I swear he did it just to get back at me for the day before…"

"What happened the day before?" a white brow rose as a pointed ear twitched.

Gold eyes glared and it may have just been an effect of the Fade around them but it looked like the devious Witch of the Wilds may have had a sudden amount of color added to her cheeks, "Never you mind!"

This of course only caused the 'Hero of Feralden' to snicker.

Morrigan just growled and conceded the victory, crossing her arms and scowling away while obviously changing the topic at hand, "Speaking of that idiot, where _is_ he and what does he think he's doing?!"

The snickering grew louder, "How should I know, you're his wife-"

The growling increased as one pale hand reached up to _try_ and rub away a growing headache, "We've told you, time and again, it was _one_ night, _one_ affair! That is all!"

"One night my sodden keister," the elf snorted, "You two kept us all up all the way from Redcliffe to Denerium," there was a flat look on the elven woman's tan and tattooed face, "Then once the dragon's dead you up and leave… for _Orlais!_"

More growling, "It wasn't _immediately_ for Orlais…"

Crystalline eyes narrowed on the witch, now Arcane Advisor to the Empress of Orlais.

Caught, knowing no amount of technicalities would get her out of that accusing look, the witch sighed, "Why are you even here, bugging me!"

A smirk was back on the Warden's face, and that was dangerous, "You remember, the whole Eluvian thing, Ali getting all depressed when the ring started calling him…"

The witch's shoulder hunched around her ears, "I _had_ intended to call _him_ there… not you…"

Again, that gauntlet around the witch's waist and the growling it caused, "Yea, well, he's a King now, important and all with a big hat!" despite herself that _did_ get a snort of the witch, causing the Warden to grin all the more, "_Soooooooo_ he called me up to check it out, thinking you might be in trouble, along with Junior…"

"That is _not_ his name…" the witch growled, knowing she was being ignored.

"And so me and my merry band of initiates come and save you, solve problems, yadda, yadda," she waved her hand about nonchalant, "Then find you, of all people, at this shiny mirror thing…"

"Eluvian," Morrigan had her head in her hand at this point.

Tess just grinned at her frustrated, and trapped, friend, "And the rest is history…"

Gold eyes glared at the elf woman as Morrigan lowered her hand, "I told you to break it, not follow me and annoy me for the next decade!"

"I did," Tess raised one hand up like making a point, "Technically…" that wide grin was back and Morrigan loathed it even more, "But you know me, nothing ever goes as planned, people broke a mirror, I'm partly in the Fade already, magically shenanigans happens and now I get to follow you around and annoy you…"

The witch finally removed the elf's hand from her waist, took a step to the side and said lowly, "I loathe you at times…"

"But you love me, admit it~" that evil grin and cocksure face.

Gold eyes just rolled as she moved away, deciding to _finally_ go about the whole reason the two of them were even _in _the fade spying on the Inquisition. She'd heard word of this 'Arcanist' coming to join them and was curious what her craft exactly was. Currently it looked like the Qunari mage was struggling to grasp either the fine art or dealing with Dagna's excessive exuberance and constant meddling… it reminded her of a certain someone.

"So what do you think?" suddenly there was a serious voice coming from next to Morrigan, and if she hadn't spent over a decade with the insane elf she would have been surprised by the sudden shift.

"Hmp," the taller woman crossed her arms, watching the two in the real world bend Lyrium and magic without touching the Fade explicitly, "I think they're desperate…"

"We were desperate…" that marginally serious, if still smiling voice piped in.

Morrigan ignored that her own lips were turning up, "That Inquisitor is reckless, foolish, thinking with her heart at times when she should be using her head…"

"Sounds like someone I know…" Tess smirked.

"Hmp," Morrigan waved her hand, "I'd have said the same…"

"Least they have Leliana to watch over them," the Warden had her hands on her hips, smiling lightly at the fond memories she had of the wayward bard turned spymaster.

There was a disapproving grunt from the witch, "I doubt she's fully up to the task…"

Tess turned back to the witch with a smirk, a _knowing_ smirk, "Think you can do better?"

Again, Morrigan growled, she really hated the woman she called 'friend' at times, "You will not goad me into helping them!"

Oh that evil grin, "I would never~"

Gold eyes glared, "T'is no wonder my mother saved you all those years ago," the great and terrible Witch of the Wilds growled while shaking, "You and she have more in common than she does with dragons…"

The elf chuckled, "How is your mother these days? Thwarting any of your latest schemes in Orlais?"

"Oh, shut up," the witch growled, turning towards the door, anything she could have learned from this excursion was wasted so long as her 'friend' was around to annoy her. She was a few steps from the door, knowing the insane elf was only a foot behind her before quipping, "Don't you have former Templar to go spy on or haunt?"

"You know I do," ugh the grin that passed the half-stuck-in-the-fade-elf's face was utterly nauseating.

The two passed through the material barriers as if they were vapor, allowing Morrigan to sigh into her hand while shaking her head without the need to care about the next door or flight of stairs, "Just leave me be for a while, I'm sure T'would be a great pleasure to bother this new band of _heroes_," she shuddered at the word, more nauseating.

"And miss out on bugging you?" the elf had somehow managed to skip ahead of the witch, grin as bright as day and obvious mischief about, "I think not…"

"T'is a wonder you think at all," golden eyes rolled, side stepping the elf with expert ease.

"Excuse me?" a voice called out to the two wanderers.

"Ah!" Tess jumped, turning around and spotting an oddly bald elf, "Er… hello?"

Morrigan just crossed her arms, staring away from the fade-dreamer, it wouldn't do if any of them recognized her… Leliana excluded of course. Besides, she could just leave it to her demented former-leader like always, she was good with people after all.

Solus glanced from one spirit to the next, at least he thought they were spirits… he was in the fade, and they seemed to just be wondering, "Would you mind keeping your conversation down… I'm trying to commune with other spirits…"

At a quick glance behind the bald elf Tess could see what looked to be some warped version of a tea party. Raising a white brow, "Right," she stood straight and looked the man in the eye, "We'll just go…" idly she nudged Morrigan further along, guy seemed kinda crazy, tea parties spirits? Honestly…

"Hm," Solus just nodded, finding absolutely nothing strange about this at all.

Then Tess' ears twitched and an idea came to mind, causing the Warden to turn and address the bald elf again, "You wouldn't happen to know where… _Commander_ Cullen is right now? Would you?"

A dark brow rose on Solus' bald head, "Likely in the courtyard, ordering recruits as usual…"

The grin that passed the elven woman's face was devious, "Thank you," and back she turned shoving her friend.

There was a sudden explosion that knocked Solus out of his dream state and into the physical world. It took him a good long minute of being groggy to recognize his suroundings before the door to his room burst open and a Qunari was running past him with cinders all over her jacket, "Inquisitor?"

"No time to talk, insane dwarf on my heels!" and out the horned woman went the other door.

Solus had all of a moment to blink before he heard shouts from the closing doors of 'But Inquisitor! If we just change the Lyrium flow a little bit I'm sure we could contain the explosion!' before raising a hand to his head and rubbing it, suddenly getting a headache. He'd dreamed of something important, unusual, and new… why couldn't he remember it properly…

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** it has become a part of my new cracktastic head canon that Solus is the Maker, but he 'forgot' and is left wondering the world, while Giselle is actually Andraste (because of how much she Yoda's the Inquisitor) trying to keep the world in some semblance of order since the nutjob that was the Maker went and got lost... now they're five feet from each other and the subplot of that in my head is amazing :D

As for my Inquisitor: Qunari Female Mage... and while not quite up to Tess level shenanigans, i've already had my share of shenanigans... its been quite enjoyable :3

so yea, this isn't totally dead, just whenever i get a silly idea XD

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


End file.
